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Hey, Leavaros... I just remembered... You were in my dream for some reason the other night. o_o Which is incredibly awkward.

My best friend and I were talking about how awful it would be if her dad found out that I was bi. He's the kind of person who would automatically ban me from the house and accusingly think back to all the times I slept in the same bed with his straight daughter. Total homophobe - but hey, he's from Alabama, so he has an excuse. ._.
So anyway, that night, I actually dreamed that he found out that I was bi, and started going on a rampage. Somehow or another, in the dream, I was talking to Lea on the phone, and her father took my phone and started screaming at you, trying to make you tell him the truth - that I was gay, right?! She's GAY!!!
Her dad is an intimidating man... It was a scary dream...

Jeez, Leavy-kun, you sure are popular with the ladies. wink xd

O.o LD you're getting fangirls already... wow, have fun with that.

ps. i feel a lot better today then the other day, just needed a day off.

Ah! You guys are so sweet! I'm not all that, though, and if you knew me in person, I can assure you, I would most certainly not be the boy of your dream/s. I'm not anyone's dream-boy...but maybe that's okay. I think sometimes that it's enough that I'm here, for the people who need me.

And...the last few days have been really stressful. I can't even begin to tell you all, so if it comes up later, I'll fill in whatever blanks I've left. I actually haven't dreamed myself in the last couple nights that I can remember, but with my tendency to...fling far my feelings, I wouldn't be entirely surprised if I could have been responsible. My apologies, Maggie, Juria. I'll have to be more careful.
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It's been a rough couple of days. This is the first I've been home for more than a few minutes since Friday morning. I've spent the past two days and nights at two different friends' houses, and the mall. (I don't care what the critics say, I liked 10,000 B.C.. I didn't wanna see it, but I did, and by the end, I liked it. Kind of. It's no LOTR, but it's nowhere nearly as bad as most critics are saying.) I got Brawl, by the way, which is amazing. Weird, in places, but really good. So pretty.

I'm going crazy. I don't wanna be here (home). I felt like changing my hair, but no matter what I do with it, it looks weird. I'm going to give my stylist free reign next time I see her. Now that I'm feeling better, I'm going to start swimming when it's warm, or else go to the gym. And I need to start using my proactive a little more...aggressively. And I need to remember to shave more often. I'm beginning to look like a Wookie. And I need to get more organized in school, and 'put my a** into high gear' as it were. All this normally would really depress me, but I think I need the business for a while.
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I'm going to whore out my talents with poetry for a laugh, and make a poem for Pi for Pi Day (Friday, think about it.), and for an assignment. It will start out boring, and still, but end wild and joyous--or at least, that's the idea.

And Oh yes. It will be directed at Jay. He will probably hate me for embarrassing him so badly, or else love me for having the guts to recite a poem to him in his class.

Oh this is going to be fun.
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Love and Vale, and I hope everyone's doing pretty well.

P.S. In case anyone's wondering, Gram's going to be just fine, at least eventually. The doctor says she'll make a full recovery. She should be back home in a couple days.

Why are you apologizing for being in my dream, you silly boy?! It was nice to actually have a normal dream with people in it that I actually know. I usually have such strange dreams with people I either don't know or maybe I've just forgotten them.

How do you know that you're not anyone's "dream-boy" when you haven't met everyone in the whole world yet?

I'm glad to hear that your Gram's is going to be okay. smile

Already read it . 3nodding I thought I posted something... *goes to look*

ah, that sucks, though i had class at seven and had to be up around 6, and i work from 2-9 today. so i have a long day ahead of me, work sucks... today started out fun, i was walking up to the building my class is in on the campus and the fire alarm went off (i guess i'm just that hot!, lol, jk), so we just stood outside for like 20 min, the sad thing is the fire department is right across the street and it took them almost 5 min after the alarm starting going off to leave the garage. it's stupid... stare

Everything is starting to fall together, after so long. Just when I near my breaking point, some twist of Fate always manages to bring me back. This time, it was my sister Pam. She realized how close I was and helped me clean the house, and got my mind off my s**t, if only for a few hours. She even read "Oh." and liked it well enough. And she promised to read LRD, a promise I'm going to hold her to.

But Fate doesn't always bring good fortune. I've thought this privately for days, but I have a feeling that the stress that sent Gram over the edge was caused from me staying home from school to avoid something really, really bad from happening. I guess that's just one of those things. Poetic justice, in a way, albeit tragic. The fact that it was only a light stroke might also indicate that this was a warning.

You know, I've been getting a lot of those, lately. The prophet bit from Joe, and today, from Robby, another boy in my Latin class, an inquiry on my dark side, cut short by the bell. It's strange--more and more I feel completely connected. I feel at once in control, in power, and yet a tool. I feel like I'm being guided by something I cannot see, but that is no longer separate from me--all of my gifts are integrating with my life, from my humble skill with food, to my lofty poetry, to my esoteric insight. It's so strange, but good--like wisdom and intelligence are beginning to blend together into something else entirely, something wonderful and novel.

It's different, but it's beginning to feel right. Like I've always had the pieces, except the ones I needed to connect them. And now that I have them, I'm starting to see the big picture. True, I'm still far from beautiful, as far as looks go, and I can be very apathetic. I'm out of shape, and my grades suck. But all of that doesn't really amount to much (except maybe the apathy) in the face of this strange, wondrous, shocking new self.

I've become Andrew. Now it's just time to let him out, maybe refine him a little. I've toyed with signing things as "Andru", but for now, it's just Andrew. Just Andrew.

And that's all I can really do. Just take it one day at a time.

Love and Vale,
-Andrew