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 Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2005 8:57 pm
How do you tune 2 piccolos?
Shoot one.
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Posted: Sun Jan 23, 2005 5:29 pm
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 4:25 pm
I have a nasty nasty band joke...
Okay, so a trumpet and an alto sax decide to have sex, and right in the middle of it all hte trumpet remembers she forgot her birth control pill, and so she says, "Honey, I think you'd better pull out now," and the sax says, "Why? Am I sharp?"
Okay, so that was my stupid joke that you've all probably heard before, so I'm off to save the day.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 4:47 pm
^ First time I read that one, she was a soprano and he was a trumpet.
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Posted: Mon Jan 24, 2005 5:31 pm
gonk
bassoonist:
makes marks on the wall when trying to clear short buildings ( stare so not true. I just avoid the short buildings)
is run over by a locomotive (This is the second time someone has made a joke about a run-over bassoonist! crying )
can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury(haha...no. I regularly defend my house from the invading tin cans, and I have yet to do anything more than bruise myself)
dog-paddles (and free-stroke, back-stroke, breast-stroke, and butterfly, though not very well...)
talks to animals ( what can I say? animals like me!)
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Posted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 9:49 pm
Here's some humor for you, this is what our senior prank is for the band
One of our trumpet players is going to spray paint his old trumpet all different colors and then replace tthat with our band directors trumpet.
Imagine the look on his face when he sees that....
oh and today we duct taped all these red cups around his office....
and took a barbieesque doll and threw her in the freezer then covered her with hand sanitiser, let's just say, it smells horrible in the freezer, and once you open the door, you want to puke
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Posted: Thu Feb 10, 2005 7:59 pm
trombone_chica I have a nasty nasty band joke... Okay, so a trumpet and an alto sax decide to have sex, and right in the middle of it all hte trumpet remembers she forgot her birth control pill, and so she says, "Honey, I think you'd better pull out now," and the sax says, "Why? Am I sharp?" Okay, so that was my stupid joke that you've all probably heard before, so I'm off to save the day.
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Posted: Fri Feb 11, 2005 3:50 pm
How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
eight. one to screw it in and seven others to tell him how much better he could have done it.
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Posted: Sat Feb 12, 2005 3:38 pm
Silver Gryphon Kai-Luin What's the difference between a trumpet and a government bond? The government bond matures with age! Our BD told us another joke, not so much a band one as involving band, actually... But I'm not going to tell it. It's horrible. And takes a long time to tell. SO! If someone starts telling you a joke about band directors and green bananas, take my advice and run away, okay? sweatdrop The only joke about green bananas I've ever heard is: "Bananas are like traffic lights. Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means...where the hell did you get that banana?!" ...It was funnier when Ed told it. >_> See, that one's actually sort of funny. My band conductor's joke was... Well, I said I wouldn't tell it, but I'll sumarize it anyway. Forgive me, world! I'll put it in white, because it really is a bad joke, and that way anyone who reads it has only themselves to blame for highlighting the section. A band director was conducting working with a section- we'll call them trumpets just for the heck of it, it doesn't matter-, and not making any progress. He got so frustrated that he threw the baton (did I even spell that right?) down on the ground with such force that it bounces back up and pretty much impales one of the trumpet players. ( sweatdrop )
So the conductor is sent to prison for killing the trumpet player, and is senanced to the electric chair. For his last meal, the conductor wants green bananas, and so... he gets green bananas... sweatdrop
Anyway, the electric shock doesn't have any effect on him, strangely enough, so they let him go because, well, he was sentanced to the electric chair and he went through it.
So, later, he's at a job, working with another section. Saxaphones or something. Repeat the process of him getting frustrated, throwing down the baton, impaling a saxaphone player, getting sent to the electric chair, asking for green bananas, not dying by the electric chair, getting released again.
And... repeat with ANOTHER section. By that time, he's getting a reputation for, well, not dying, and so when he asks for green bananas again, the gaurd says, "Just what IS it about the green bananas? I mean, you ask for them every time, and you've yet to be electrocuted."
And the conductor says, "Oh, it's not the bananas. I'm just a really bad conducter."
sweatdrop crying Conductor. Like, he doesn't conduct electricity very well? And he doesn't conduct the band very well?
I assure you, my band director is normally much kinder than to to tell such jokes. crying
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 12:01 pm
I'm an oboe player and have been told this joke....
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
....
....
....
(the person who tells it) I haven't seen anyone cry when they cut up an oboe...
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Posted: Mon Feb 14, 2005 2:18 pm
goddess_aphrodite u kno ur a band geek when u start singing band music in the middle of math class I do that in the middle of every class I'm in. It's just a random thing I do. ^.^
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:43 pm
Kai-Luin Silver Gryphon Kai-Luin What's the difference between a trumpet and a government bond? The government bond matures with age! Our BD told us another joke, not so much a band one as involving band, actually... But I'm not going to tell it. It's horrible. And takes a long time to tell. SO! If someone starts telling you a joke about band directors and green bananas, take my advice and run away, okay? sweatdrop The only joke about green bananas I've ever heard is: "Bananas are like traffic lights. Green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means...where the hell did you get that banana?!" ...It was funnier when Ed told it. >_> See, that one's actually sort of funny. My band conductor's joke was... Well, I said I wouldn't tell it, but I'll sumarize it anyway. Forgive me, world! I'll put it in white, because it really is a bad joke, and that way anyone who reads it has only themselves to blame for highlighting the section. A band director was conducting working with a section- we'll call them trumpets just for the heck of it, it doesn't matter-, and not making any progress. He got so frustrated that he threw the baton (did I even spell that right?) down on the ground with such force that it bounces back up and pretty much impales one of the trumpet players. ( sweatdrop )
So the conductor is sent to prison for killing the trumpet player, and is senanced to the electric chair. For his last meal, the conductor wants green bananas, and so... he gets green bananas... sweatdrop
Anyway, the electric shock doesn't have any effect on him, strangely enough, so they let him go because, well, he was sentanced to the electric chair and he went through it.
So, later, he's at a job, working with another section. Saxaphones or something. Repeat the process of him getting frustrated, throwing down the baton, impaling a saxaphone player, getting sent to the electric chair, asking for green bananas, not dying by the electric chair, getting released again.
And... repeat with ANOTHER section. By that time, he's getting a reputation for, well, not dying, and so when he asks for green bananas again, the gaurd says, "Just what IS it about the green bananas? I mean, you ask for them every time, and you've yet to be electrocuted."
And the conductor says, "Oh, it's not the bananas. I'm just a really bad conducter."
sweatdrop crying Conductor. Like, he doesn't conduct electricity very well? And he doesn't conduct the band very well?
I assure you, my band director is normally much kinder than to to tell such jokes. crying ROFLMFAO!!!!! (not really... heard it before...
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:46 pm
ok... this is a bit of music theory for you....
so a C, an E, and a G walk into a bar. they ask for a couple of beers. the bartender turns around and says, sorry, but i don't serve minors.
so the E leaves, and the C and the G split a fifth....
(if you don't know music theory, i just wasted your time....)
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Posted: Fri Feb 25, 2005 5:49 pm
Big Kahuna How do you tune 2 piccolos?Shoot one. that is a good one.... i tell it to people all the time....
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Posted: Sun Feb 27, 2005 6:45 am
Punkman2159 Big Kahuna How do you tune 2 piccolos?Shoot one. that is a good one.... i tell it to people all the time.... meh... the sad thing is it's true x_x
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