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 Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 12:19 pm
He smiled, and glanced for a moment at the other occupant of the car. "We'll deal with that if and when it comes, my little troubadour...don't fret yourself over something that might not happen at all..." It was odd...this changing of role for him...'Ros wasn't allowed to be a pessimist anymore...the fellow who drove you to tears and then as you were dashing off might snidely remark 'Must you go? I was just poisoning the tea.'
Not anymore...he was the wall...strength embodied...the comforter...and it was...almost unnatural.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 6:44 pm
Fhyst had his head turned away from his brother, his arms were laced protectively over his chest, showing every little inch of the tension in his lean form. His hat was pulled down shadeing his pale face from his brother, so even should he find a way to do something as simple as look at his reflection, his twin wouldn't see the look of confusion and worry that had made its home there.
He grit his teeth, one hand tenseing into a fist before dropping into a loose posture at his side again. "Taki.... I.. I don't know what you want me to say now. I... I ruined everything." He swallowed and let his tail drag on the ground as he walked to the door of the kitchen, which led outside.
He could still recall the stupid comment he had made, the kiss he had.. forced upon his twin.. and the reaction. The violent distaste, the look of betrayal. It was scortched into his mind.
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Posted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 7:17 pm
The world and thoughts still worried Hikuzu and swarmed in his head. He was a flurry of blank activity. Nothing made sense but it was all relevant. He could no longer speak and with closed crimson eyes he allowed himself to try and recover from the terrible visit to his family. It had been an utter disaster and he hoped that he would never suffer that way again. "I'm glad 'Ros. I don't think I'd be able to deal my life without you... odd as that sounds..." His voice was quiet, reflective and solemn, as if he'd said that thing many times before. Ironically enough, he had.
"No!" Takiro cried and dashed to his brother. At first he had been hesitant to go near the other, to even make contact that would reenact that terrible moment, but now he just couldn't stay back. Fhyst was his brother and he loved him. They were their only true family and he couldn't let a silly and simple confusion split him from the person who meant the most to him. "Don't say things like that, don't look like that brother! ... I forgive you... I was just... ...you're my brother. That reaction... I was just shocked. Please don't avoid me, don't turn away from me. I need you." He was frantic and distraught that such a thing could happen. True, his brother had scared him with that kiss but he had seen the look of unhappiness on Fhyst and that had all vanished. He felt terrible for refusing the other but somehow, being together like that, somehow it seemed wrong.
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 7:21 am
(( :B *is personally of the opinion that whomever said twincest was wrong should be shot* ))
'Ros chuckled, an oft-heard sound from the coon's general direction, "Ah, my little troubadour...then it is good that I am staying..." Lightly accented voice lilted in what could have been amusement, but was indeed most carefully disguised concern. Should Hikuzu break...no...he refused to think that way...this was far too vital a puzzle piece in his life, something which he could not help but curse himself for in the innermost depths of his soul.
For he had sworn never to let anyone get this close again...
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 4:13 pm
What little tension that may have been bleeding out of Fhyst came rushing back as his brother drew close again. He shook his head violently and pulled away from him. "You don't seem to understand. Your shock.. your disgust even the anger, it all was right. I was the one that was wrong. I love you too, more than you would ever know, more than makes sense. That.. is why I can't touch you anymore. That is why I can't be around anymore. Taki.. Taki.. just, please don't hate me."
Fhyst, usually so strong. Usually able to stand tall and proud felt all of that falling away. It was like some huge form had just picked him up by the tale and shook him, leaving him standing bare before... the world really. His feelings were there, but the words weren't. How could he ever explain?
He couldn't.
Letting out a weak yipping cry he dashed out the door, his hat falling from his head, laying on it's side, forgotten.
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Posted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:35 pm
Then as quick as it had begun, it was over. The car reached it's destination and the world stopped rolling beside the singer's window. Everything seemed to be holding it's breath and waiting for something. Eyes blinked at the cold cruel world and Hikuzu wondered if the pain he felt every single day would ever truly leave him. He doubted he would ever free himself from it and had to wonder why he could not when 'Ros was so keen to take it away.
His soul was connected and clinging to the other. His heart praying upon it ravenously sinking it's claws in and not letting go. 'Ros was essential. It wasn't a metaphor to say 'I'll die without you', it was fact. Without the coon, the troubadour knew he would die. There were no questions to be asked, no doubts to be voiced. It was pure and simple.
"Fhyst!" cried the pure voice. It rang hollow and empty to the world for the room was now of the same state. Takiro had left him. Had said words so confusing and then up and left him. Sinking to his knees and bringing the other's hat into his delicate fingers he wondered what the other meant. The kiss, and the words... it made sense. It made sense in a way Takiro was terrified to accept: Fhyst was in love with him. It seemed so wrong, so impossible! It was looked down upon! Siblings in love was bad, but two boys, two brothers? Was not that even more frowned upon then anything else? Oh but what did he ever care of society?
Society was cold and cruel to him. With a jolting fear he leapt up and dashed into the hallway after his brother, "Please..."
((Somehow Ros and Hikuzu need to run into them in the hallway and drag them back into the apartment. xD))
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Posted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:40 am
Parking the car, he leaned over and placed a kiss on Hikuzu's temple...as though to allay some of those currently unspoken fears and worries...He knew that the singer's thought life went beyond childish paranoia...far beyond...and a near-panic seized 'Ros's soul when his vivid imagination could conjure up images of what might happen to the one thing in his life that he now valued as much as he valued himself. Hikuzu was so fragile...especially now...the auburn-haired coon felt a breeze might suddenly gust and sweep the other away from him on currents he could not even begin to fathom.
Going about to the other side, he opened the door and offered a hand to the other, leading Hikuzu back to the apartment.
Of course...had he knew what awaited he might have stormed up there, knocked the two boys' heads together, and told them to just 'shut up and screw one another already would ya?'.
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:58 pm
The fox shook his head stumbling into the sitting room before makeing his way out into the hall, dashing past the apartment of others. He didn't want to stop, didn't want to see his brother's face. it wasn't that he didn't want to actually, so much as he couldn't.
"Go back.. please Taki.. just go back. Let me go. It is for the best." In his mind it was. It was all for the best if he was gone. Taki would make a good child.. better than he had been. He wasn't willfull, he wasn't rude. But he was.. distant. He knew that.
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 8:15 pm
A gentle recoil in closed eyes as if to retort an answer to the kiss. Something was still troubling Hikuzu beneath the facade he wore and it was slowly hurting him, wearing him away like how water eroded even the hardest of rocks over time. There was good reason to be afraid. Good reason to doubt everything was going to be good and safe and reasonable forever. If 'Ros could even taste one tenth of the bitterness inside Hiku's warring soul, he himself would probably be shocked at the actual pain the singer suffered. It was a world far betwixt and between reality but not unlike a realm of oblivion. It was the quintessence of everything. Every single raw emotion was laid bare for him to examine thoroughly and rot over it until he crumpled with the pure terror of it all.
The walk back to the apartment seemed to take ages, and the world around him seemed like it was falling to pieces. The only solid pieces of floor were what 'Ros walked on and if he didn't stay close he was deathly afraid he'd fall through and get lost in the eternal darkness of infinity. It was a suffocating fear that made his whole body tense and he had to force himself to loosen up for the sake of the children he carried. Then all at once he saw Fhyst with Takiro chargin' after and his eyes widened, snapping back to the world he could see.
"Boys!" His voice was firm, sharp and surprised. "What is going on?"
Takiro sank to his knees in the hallway. The words never reached him, the world shattered around him. 'Let me go.' ...Let him.. go? How... why? It was impossible! It couldn't be done! It couldn't even be fathomed! Fhyst was too precious and too necessary. It was like saying you couldn't have air anymore, like saying you had to pay to use the bathroom, or had to eat your parents as a right of passage. It wasn't done.
"Fhyst..." he sobbed. Even the solid voice and forms of 'Ros and Hikuzu wouldn't move him. He buried his head in his hands and just cried. He'd been told by the one he cherished the most to 'go back'. To him that was like saying 'You're the only family I have left. The only person who understands me. So I'm leaving. Bye bye.'
It was irrationally upsetting! And frankly, it put everyone at a loss.
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 9:31 pm
'Ros was rather inclined to say the same thing as Hikuzu had...good gods what was all this commotion? It immediately set off all sorts of alarm bells in the coon's head. There needed to be no more pulls on his singer's emotions...nothing to further tug him towards the precipice that he already teetered on the very edge of. A hard look was in those golden eyes...a look that said he would not hesitate to act drastically if this situation did not go as he wished it...'Ros was not a kind, nor loving person to anyone but his troubadour...and the only reason he was even civil to others was if the angelic fox so wished it.
This interruption was not welcome. Teenage hissy-fits be damned.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 3:29 pm
((forgive me takeing so long.. I haven't been on the computer for a while))
Fhyst froze in the hall, his eyes having somewhat of a wild panicy cast to them. He felt like his world had been turned upside down, and all because he had acted foolishly. His twin indeed did mean the world to him, which was why he was so hurt. To have caused the look in the other's eyes. It was devistateing on all levels.
Strangely his mind was telling him that this hurt was a better one. To do this would stop him from hurting Taki again.
"I hurt Takiro.." Fhyst spoke softly. "I kissed him.. and I hurt him.. and I wont let myself do it again."
It sounded so stupid when he said it like that. Yet.. it was the full truth.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:40 pm
Hikuzu stood for a moment, trying to take it all in. He was feeling dizzy and wanted something to lean on, he wanted to sit down and try to make this seem like it wasn't really. It sounded all too familar, it brought him to another edge far past reality.
In a far off voice with sharp red eyes he looked at the two boys very sternly and spoke softly, "Come inside and sit down..." It was soon obvious that he could no longer stand on his own and he didn't even remember 'Ros was there to help him, so it was with slow steps her managed to get into his own apartment. Leaning heavily on the wall beside him as he walked past the boys he sank into the couch of his living room.
He wanted to cry, wanted to do anything, but he couldn't. He already looked weak enough, anymore and he felt he'd end up being beyond his own control and that would be unacceptable. A hand lay upon his enlarged stomach as he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.
Takiro seemed to flinch at his 'father's' reaction and he lowered his head, unable to look at anyone. He said it so easily, said a sin like that so easily. It hurt. It hurt to be left out of the entire situation. Fhyst took the whole thing upon himself when, if Takiro hadn't reacted that way, Fhyst wouldn't have freaked. Hikuzu's face was enough to tell Takiro they were in trouble.
Hikuzu looked so ill and he looked up at the coon that had been with him. It could only have been the one Hikuzu hang out with these days, the infamous 'Ros. Takiro had no idea what to say to him but without any words to speak anyway he got up quickly and dashed into the apartment to stand meekly in front of Hikuzu ready to profusely apologize for the trouble.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 8:36 pm
Oh hell. Well that cinched it. 'Ros immediately realized the true import of the situation. Not only was it trouble...it was trouble of the sort that could influence Hikuzu in a way that was nearly fatal to all that the angelic fox was. As much as the other...bedmate and bearer of his children...assured him that things would be all right...this situation heralded the arrival of something disastrous on the emotional front.
'Ros knew about Hikuzu and bitchslap-brother. And that sent off all of the coon's mental alarms. He was right behind the miniature train of Hikuzu and his adopted children...not wanting anything to escape his keen gaze...for if he did, then he was utterly convinced that chaos would rule.
And never had 'Ros surrendered to chaos. The thought of losing the grasp on something like Hikuzu...something that if you let it fall would shatter into a million pieces...it frightened him on a level that he kept to itself...so high up that it gathered cobwebs but somehow loomed in the background like the boogeyman of every cheesy horror flick he could remember. He didn't like it. It was unsettling.
Life had better not break his Hikuzu...or he would do away with it entirely.
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Posted: Thu Jan 25, 2007 10:16 pm
Fhyst wasn't so willing to head inside. His brother didn't hesitate, which gave him more of a respite. Heck, deep down he wondered why he should go at all. During the last while it wasn't as if anyone else had given a darn what he had done. No one but his brother, and in the end he could tell where that had gotten him.
All he wanted was someone to talk to, to guide him and show him the way things were done, and instead he got a larger dose of being left behind. Lately there was no way he could go to his dad. Heck... even if he wanted to today, it seemed that Hizu was not up to the questions. Plus the guard coon was there.
His father's new ... whatever, didn't seem the kind he could talk to either.
"Alone..."
The fox sighed and stood by the door, his head bowed and his hat lowered over his eyes.
"Should get used to it. Alone is where I belong now."
But why did it have to feel so empty?
Takeing a deep breath Fhyst headed inside. He had made his choices, and he was going to stick to them. No more contact. With anyone. It was just too much trouble. He would stay alone.
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Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2007 6:24 am
Hikuzu seemed to be lost inside his head and after a day like this, it was only understandable. The situation was a disaster and he was at a loss for anything. The empty void seemed to be creeping along the edges of his mind and he wanted them to swallow him whole so he wouldn't have to live this horrible life anymore. Everything seemed to hurt but he kept it hidden behind a mask and when he could finally catch his breath he leaned back, a hand on his stomach, and looked at the twins.
They still knew not of his condition but it would be bad just to tell them straight out, especially with the problem going on. Red eyes twitches slightly. This problem struck a chord in his heart. Fhyst had kissed Takiro and Takiro had obviously refused. It was like him and Aure all over and he felt like he was soon to be sick. He had to swallow it and deal, he had to... do something. Pleadingly he tried to see what 'Ros was doing or thinking, maybe for support, but it was hopeless, his vision was blurring.
Wiping his eyes, he finally addressed the twins, feeling regretful for not having realized sooner. He was supposed to be their father and what a horrible father he had been, perhaps they really would've been better without them but a part of him resented to let them go. A part of them wanted to see the music they would make. Their life's song was so sad but so beautiful and Hikuzu had wanted to be a part of it to take care of them and thank them, but he had most definately failed. So he had to start somewhere and he chose there.
His words were slow, and it was obvious he was internally struggling, but he made eye contact with them both and said what he had to say. "I... don't know what's been going on... I don't and I won't claim I do..." He shook his head with a sigh, it all hurt way too much and he wished it would just destroy him. "Fhyst, I'm sorry that if you felt that way about Takiro that you didn't have anyone to talk to and I'm sorry that I haven't been around for either of you. Takiro, you didn't do anything wrong nor did your brother..." It was like he was trying to repair his own life in these words, but he would not get far, however, with 'Ros in the room, it felt somewhat easier. "We can talk about this, now if you'd like, but first..." His sentances were a bit broken now, as if he was slightly loosing it. "First, this is 'Ros..." He weakly indicated the coon, smiling as fondly as his mind would allow. "And I am bearing his children..." He let it sink in for a moment before going on, "So whatever fight you were having... it has to be dropped and talked about calmly between yourselves because it's not my business to really... intrude into." It sounded so familar.
It had never been his business to intrude into Aure's life, but he had, and now he regretted it. Closing his eyes he placed both his hands on his stomach and tried to back away the darkness in his mind. 'Ros was with him, 'Ros would never leave and with 'Ros the world could become easier. With 'Ros... he could deal with anything and be okay in the end... because 'Ros was like that. The coon made things better. And he would never leave... never...
Quietly, when Fhyst had entered the room, he grabbed onto the other's hand, trying to say he cared. Trying to say he was there. It would be futile, he knew, but he had never been so sad in his entire life. Not even when they died. His brother wanted to leave him because of a silly thing like a kiss. It wasn't fair! It wasn't at all fair! Why was he being asked to be left alone? Hikuzu seemed to downplay the thing and he didn't understand at all!
Takiro could never really know how much Hikuzu could understand, but it would never matter because Fhyst was in pain. He let is father speak some more, facing him and trying to see why he looked in so much pain but he could not. Why did everyone have to hurt? He couldn't smile enough for everyone. He didn't think the situation would ever be solved, he didn't think Fhyst would ever forgive him. But as these thoughts roamed his head he listened Hikuzu and he nodded albeit grimly.
And then that. Pregnant. Somehow he'd known, but with that coon's children? That was ... weird. They weren't in love and that coon was mean to them. He was mean and he would never care about them like Hikuzu did. He would be mean to them and they'd probably have to leave. He said nothing but after the speech turned to Fhyst, tugging on his arm more, "Fhyst..." It was a whimper. "Fhyst why can't you forgive me? You're my brother... listen to father. He's trying to help he is..." He knew he sounded childish but half of what Hikuzu was saying did make sense and as tears rolled down his cheek and he cried to Fhyst he wondered what the other would make of the speech.
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