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| are you gonna take this poll? |
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| Total Votes : 68 |
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 Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:19 pm
*While looking at a "Nuclear Waste" truck*
Peter: I wonder what's inside.
Chris: Maybe it's candy! *runs to truck*
Lois: Chris, NO!
Peter: No,no, Lois, Lois. Let him dream.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 6:10 pm
Stewie: Stand Back Brian, Im preparing for my vault.
Brian: You cant vault inside the living room, your gonna get hurt!
Stewie: Yeah, Ill get hurt right onto a Wheaties Box.
Brian: I dont see that happening.
Stewie: Yeah who cares what you say. Your a dog. You cant see colors. Which means you cant see the colors of the American Flag. Calmie (or Call me) *runs, jumps on table, backflip in the air crashing into a glass cabinet*
Heuh... I think Im ok *looks up at forehead* AAH! AAh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Oh god! Somebody! Do I take it out or do I leave it in? Do I take it out or do I leave it in? AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:47 am
GUY:WoW so how'd u do it?
PETER:WoW ur so kind to ask.....wekk i just stick the old worm out ther they usually go for it,I jerk em around a little then they just lay back and accept it.
GUY:Ok so why dont we get together later.....
GUY gives PETER his card
PETER:O.....Um....ok.....
GUY walks away....PETER looks at his card witch is supposed to read i cought all these fish but his buddy had changed it so now it had read " I had sex with all these fish"
PETER: Wuts this? Oh dammit!
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Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 11:15 am
Hearttaken GUY:WoW so how'd u do it?PETER:WoW ur so kind to ask.....wekk i just stick the old worm out ther they usually go for it,I jerk em around a little then they just lay back and accept it.GUY:Ok so why dont we get together later.....GUY gives PETER his cardPETER:O.....Um....ok.....GUY walks away....PETER looks at his card witch is supposed to read i cought all these fish but his buddy had changed it so now it had read " I had sex with all these fish"PETER: Wuts this? Oh dammit!
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Posted: Tue Apr 17, 2007 2:22 pm
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Posted: Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:24 am
woman- honney hows your oatmeal?
husband- there's something different i just can't put my finger on it...wait a minite theres a bear in my oatmeal!
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Posted: Sun May 13, 2007 5:39 pm
Peter: Oh and that nice chicken out there gave me these coupons
Person: Sorry sir these are expired!
peter looks at chicken
Peter: You sonofabitch
Chicken opens mouth wide
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 9:36 am
Quagmire: I know that airport sex isn't your first choice, but thank you for flying with Quagmire. Please get up slowly as contents in your v****a might have shifted during intercourse.
Flight Attendant: Wow that was great.
Quagmire: Say, can you tell me where flight 192 is?
Flight Attendant: Flight 192? That plane took off an hour ago.
Quagmire: Oh god, oh god that planes going down! My friends are gonna die!
Flight Attendant: Oh no!
Quagmire: And that's not the worst part, here's that condom I said I put on!
Peter(on airplane through radio): Uh, hello ground people? Uh, we have a problem up here. Uh we're in some sort of nose dive and the uh, the pilots are unconscious. And uh, if it's alright, can we turn off Last Holiday? I don't think we should let these people live their last few minutes of life watching a cruddy comedy with Queen Latifah on skis. (Laughing) Look at her Cleveland! She can't get up in those things.
Peter: Well since we're safe, let's watch the end of Last Holiday
(Queen Latifah starts skiing and wipes out)
Queen Latifah: DAMN
Peter: Oh no she didn't
Joe: Oh yes she did
Peter: Oh no she didn't
Joe: Oh yes she did
Peter: Oh no she didn't
Joe: YES SHE DID PETER WE JUST SAW IT!
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 6:50 am
Peter: Oh *airhorn bleep*. What the *airhorn bleep*? I can't even say *airhorn bleep* in my own *airhorn bleep*ing house? What the *airhorn bleep* is up with that? This is about as bad as that time me and Louis went over to that *airhorn bleep for about two minutes on and off*. Oh ya, that was some good *airhorn bleep*.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2007 9:55 pm
alucard_rules_all_vampire Quagmire: OH! OH! THAT'S A STROKE!! Peter: I just tapped my ball Quagmire Quagmire: OH, YOU JUST TAPPED THE BALL IN HUH?! WELL TAP, TAP, TAP, TAP *ball goes in hole* OH LOOK AT THAT, MY BALL WENT IN THE HOLE. NO STROKES, I JUST TAPPED MY BALL! Joe: Quagmire, it's no fun when you play like this. Quagmire: YOU WANT FUN? GO BUY A MONKEY! Answering Machine: You have 24 new messages Lois: Oh my... Answering Machine (Herbert): Uh ya hi, I was just wondering, um, where the newspaper boy went? Answering Machine (Herbert): Haven't seen a newspaper in a couple days, wonderin' if ya ever come by and bring me some good news. Answering Machine (Herbert): Where are you? Answering Machine (Herbert): Aw you're starting to piss me off you piggly son of a b***h...CALL ME! actually it was like, over a hundred sweatdrop
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Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 7:49 am
Chris: Is this where babies come from?
Brian: Yes Chris. This, this is where babies come from.
Chris: (yelling at Lois) YOU SAID I CAME OUT OF YOUR v****a!
Stew: I, I can't do this.
Stewie: Yes, yes you can. Now go in there and...(looks at sex book) stick your penise in her vagana.
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2007 9:04 pm
Peter: This House is Freakin' sweet!
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Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:02 pm
Brian's Idiot Girlfriend: Brian, how do I know if I'm jewish?
Brian: Are you jewish?
Brian's Idiot Girlfriend: No.
Brian: There you go sport.
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Posted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 11:59 am
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Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:14 pm
Ding! Fries are done.
Ding! Fries are done.
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