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 Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2021 6:55 pm
Jace paused for a minute and then seemed a little surprised. Maybe what Holden was saying made sense. He certainly would have liked for it to make sense. He didn’t want to think that he was thinking, feeling, something stupid.
“You’re not stupid,” he said defensively. Any tension he’d built up at the thought of defending Holden--even if only from himself--melted away as soon as Holden’s hand was at his hair. He pressed against it, smallest of pouts on his face as his eyelids drooped again.
Staying awake was getting harder but it wasn’t his fault--he’d had coffee. It was Holden’s fault, for being so comfortable and warm.
“You make beautiful things. Anyone would be lucky to get to wear them. They’re my favorite, in my whole closet. They fit better than things I’ve had tailored for me, too. I don’t know what you do to them, but they feel--”
Like what? Like his arms were always around him? Like the thread had been stitched with so much care that Jace felt it seeping into him? That he could look at the pattern and it felt like he could hear Holden saying something supportive and encouraging?
They were all true but the words didn’t come when he tried to speak them.
“--Amazing,” he said, but it was a poor substitute for what he meant. “One of a kind. Better than anything anyone could buy in a store.”
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Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2021 7:05 pm
“I like amazing,” Holden said and absolutely meant it. “Because you’re amazing.” He beamed. “You are absolutely unique and awesome….and probably you need a better tailor but we just need to talk your mother into letting me work my magic.” He nodded thoughtfully. “That said… you seem, amazingly sleepy too, and I am not at ALL surprised. Should we put a lid on dinner and just … curl up like this till you doze?” He offered. “I don’t mind being a pillow, not for you anyhow.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2021 8:39 am
Jace considered his answer for a moment and then finally nodded. He wasn’t hungry, but he’d been in a weird, mostly cathartic state for a while. His brain still felt like mush and he wasn’t really thinking about food or drink--even though the coffee was amazing--but he was thinking about how nice Holden felt, how warm, how comfortable…
“Yeah,” he said, maybe even surprising himself with the answer. “I’m not sure how you managed to be more comfortable than any of my pillows, but. I’ll take it. Maybe it was just that hotel bed.”
Not that he’d gotten much sleep there, either, but realistically he knew it was just Holden, and whatever magic he possessed to be so cozy.
“You don’t have to go to bed if you’re not ready too, I know I interrupted you while you were crafting.” Jace couldn't stifle his yawn and finally gave up, letting his eyes stay comfortably closed. He said Holden could go back to it, but didn’t make any effort to move away from him.
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2021 10:58 am
“Well… maybe I will craft you some sleep instead since I’m so comfortable.” It was the softest sort of moment, it was almost achingly perfect. He let himself gently brush his hand over Jace’s hair, running his fingers through the soft length of it unbound into waves for having been pinned up for so long. “I know it can be really hard, but remember… you can be kind to yourself. We have coffee in the morning, my brother really does make the best coffee… He’s amazing. He’s just… the best Big Brother that I could have hoped for. “I am so lucky in life, I have him, I know you…” His thoughts were rambling, so perhaps he was more tired than he had wanted to admit. “If you want…” He offered half teasing. “I can play big spoon.” He wasn’t sure if Jace wasn’t already asleep, perhaps it would be better if he was, he wasn’t sure.
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:11 am
For a moment, Jace didn’t answer, and it seemed like he might have been swimming in the between-state of awake and asleep. He looked like he might have fallen asleep, but then he just adjusted his position to make himself a little more comfortable and said, “I don’t know how the whole spoon thing is going to work, but you’re warm. So make yourself comfortable. I won’t stick my feet on you.”
Which was important more now than ever because he could feel how cold they were--and it was one thing to stick his icicle toes on his brother, and another entirely to do it to Holden.
He didn’t comment on what was said earlier, but with Jace it was always hard to tell what he took to heart and what he brushed aside. Except, when he sleepily said, “I’m lucky to have you, too. And your brother’s coffee.” A long pause, and sleep was clearly winning out when he added, drawing the plush tightly to his chest, “And this bird.”
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Posted: Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:54 pm
“That’s ok, you won’t have to,” Holden assured Jace. “I never took the electric blanket off the end of my bed, and I can turn it on and warm cold extremities I promise.” He grinned at the thought. He brushed his hands again through Jace’s hair, just… happy. So happy it was like a warm glow. “It’s a good bird.” He said around the smile that he couldn’t stop doing, not even to speak. So this is why people said you sounded different when you smiled. He shifted as carefully as he could to move blankets without disturbing Jace. tucking them in heedless of clothes. “Pretty dreams Jace… “
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