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 Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 10:58 am
Thinking was difficult when her heart was thumping in her chest, rattling against the tight grip of worry that held the organ. Watching the emotions flick across his face, from happy to concerned to oh and then--
As expected, her boyfriend was quick to try and smooth things over. She expected him to backtrack, to say that wasn't what he meant or that it was a slip of the tongue but he didn't and she didn't know if she felt better or worse for it. Still, her eyes closed when he kissed the tip of her nose and she tried to steady herself though she was feeling like she might have been spiraling.
Akio loved her.
Her boyfriend was in love with her.
Rory knew that she should have felt elated, because she liked him so much and still couldn't understand how she had come to be his girlfriend but all she felt was guilt.
Guilty, guilty, guilty.
Akio loved her but she didn't love him. Not yet or maybe it was not enough and she didn't know what to do. Not with the pressing you love someone else don't you that her thoughts were pushing at her. It was then that Rory knew that she wouldn't be able to sort out all these conflicted feelings until she talked to the person that kept popping up into her thoughts.
"I'm not ready," she said quietly, green eyes opening slowly. "I don't - I don't know. I'm sorry." Her sigh was heavy as she scooted back and away, sliding out of his lap. Rubbing her face she stood, taking a deep breath as she tried to settle the nerves that crawled beneath her skin. "That's a lot to spring on me. I'm just - I'm not there and I don't - " She stopped, not knowing what to say or what to do now.
"I'm sorry."
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 11:25 am
She was pulling away from him and Akio was helpless to stop her. It was like watching the world go by in painfully slow motion. His heart ached as he watched her confusion, then her rejection as the small girl rose to her feet.
She apologized. Apologized for his blunder, his stupid, stupid tongue. Of course she didn't share his feelings - Aurora had told him from the start that she was inexperienced, that she hadn't been in a relationship before him. He was supposed to help her, he was supposed to make sure she was comfortable, that she felt safe and unrushed.
He'd done nothing but fail her.
There she stood, his dragon princess, staring down at him with pity. The beautiful, wonderful woman who he'd somehow managed to sweep off her feet one magical evening as they danced and spun and kissed beneath the stars, waltzing in the rain and in the garden among the sleeping flowers as the clock struck midnight. This precious, magnificent woman who was now backing away from him as though he'd sprouted a second head.
What had he done?
Akio couldn't look at her, not with his own mind trying to process things. Eyes remained fixated on the children's movie though he didn't pay it any attention. He couldn't pay attention to anything but her.
Finally, he mustered up the strength to say something. He knew better than to profess his thoughts and feelings - look where that had gotten him already. Instead, in a lifeless flat tone, he quietly asked, "Do you want me to walk you home?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 11:52 am
Everything was a mess. A complete, absolute mess in which she didn't know where to start trying to clean up. Her heart hurt and only proceeded to hurt further as she realized how she was coming across and what her actions and words were telling him. Once again, she rubbed at her face and tried to keep from just darting off. That would make things worse.
She didn't want to mess anything up further.
Exhaling slowly, she smoothed out her dress and made herself look at him. "Akio I - " She stopped, words catching in her throat and turning into garbled mush that didn't make sense even in her own head. Rory didn't know what she wanted, not from him, and it complicated things further. "We're not - I'm not -- " She stopped again and pressed her palm against her forehead, fingers slipping into thick locks and messing up the careful braid she had pulled all her hair into.
"I'm not ready for that okay, the love thing. I don't - I don't know what it means to be in love with someone." Liar, the voice in her head said. "It's too soon for me to know anyway. We've only been dating for three months." Or around there, even if it felt like they'd been together so much longer.
Up until this very moment, things had been so easy for them. Maybe that's why it was suddenly so much more complicated now. "I might need time and space, to figure out how I feel about everything and..." She exhaled slowly, visibly shaking as she tried to keep herself from suddenly crying. He deserved so much better. Akio was the one facing having his heartbroken because she wasn't ready and yet she was the one looking like she was going to fall apart at the seams.
"I know that I like you, but I don't know if I can give you want you want anymore."
This definitely wasn't the place for this conversation so she extended her hand to him. "I - okay, yes. Please walk me home."
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 12:07 pm
He sat on the quilt, silently listening to her stumble over her wording. Aurora was overthinking things, focusing on the one little comment that he should have caught before it slipped. Now it was blown out of proportion - or was it? Was this the sort of reaction he'd been expecting, when that moment was supposed to have come?
He internally winced as she commented of how they only had been dating for three months. Clearly there was some unspoken rule book that guidelined when the appropriate time was for the dreaded l-word to appear in a relationship. Didn't people fall in and out of love every day? Was it really too soon?
His heart assured him that no, love happened when it happened and that was the beauty of it all. But trying to explain such a concept to his already-frazzled girlfriend was obviously far beyond being an appropriate topic to touch on.
"I know that I like you, but I don't know if I can give you want you want anymore."
His head finally turned at that, glancing up at the girl who, even when she hurt him, still managed to take his breath away.
"I only want you, Rory." It was plain and simple. "That's all I've ever wanted."
He gave it a moment before rising, inwardly collecting himself as he gathered the food containers and tucked them neatly away in the bag she'd dedicated for the evening. The quilt took a little while longer to fold but in a matter of moments he was standing before her, bag in one hand while the quilt was tucked away in the other - safely occupying both of his hands.
The smile he gave her was forced, Akio doing his best to put on a brave face. She didn't deserve to feel his sorrow, not when he'd already subjected her to so many emotions, so many revelations in one night. It wasn't fair to Aurora; she deserved so much better. So he pretended, because pretending was safe and she needed safe right now.
"Let's get you home, then."
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 1:25 pm
Akio sure knew what to say to make her ache.
"I only want you, Rory. That's all I've ever wanted."
It was like they were in some freaking romance novel or something. He was, undeniably, a prince out of a fairy-tale to her and all she did was leave him hurt and burned. But wasn't that why she said she was a dragon princess?
"Akio." His name came out strangled, because she was still fighting back tears. She hurt him and yet she was the one crying and he was attempting to make everything okay the only way he knew how.
In that moment, Rory only knew one thing absolutely. She was the worst girlfriend ever. "Don't say that," she said without thought. "I can't be all you want. You - you deserve better." God, she was making a scene in the park and she was so, so thankful that they were far enough away that most people wouldn't notice the exchange happening between them.
"I don't - " She couldn't even finish because she found herself crying even though she was trying so, so hard not to.
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:26 pm
He turned to start heading out of the park when the tiny voice called out to him. As much as he wanted to keep walking, to pretend like he hadn't heard the quiver in her voice as she said his name... he couldn't do that to her. Not to Aurora.
Turning around, his face immediately softened as he noticed the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. He found himself visibly flinching as she snapped at him for saying what he did, but as her words dissolved into sobs, he couldn't help but step forward. The bag was dropped at his feet and the quilt on top of it, arms reaching out to pull her in. It probably wasn't a smart idea but he didn't care. She was falling apart right in front of him and he'd be damned to not at least try to comfort her - even if his presence was the last thing she wanted right now.
"Shhh, baby. It's okay." He collected her in his arms, immediately stroking the back of her head with one hand as the other wrapped around her. "It's okay, I'm sorry. I'm putting too much onto you and that isn't fair to you, beautiful."
His pressed his lips against the top of her head as he kept her tight in his embrace. The kids and families around them still seemed enthralled with the movie that was playing in the distance, Akio taking the moment to close his eyes and pray to the cosmos above for direction. What was he supposed to do? Did he just... let her pull away from him again? Argue his point? Convince her that he was worth the risk?
At the end of day, though, all he could do was simply hold her as she cried.
Well, that is, until he got an idea.
"You know they made a cardboard cutout of me?"
He could feel his face redden at the admission, but it was the only thing he could think of on the fly to talk about. "And pillows. Do you know how weird it is to know that there are women out there who sleep with a picture of me on their pillow?"
The nervous laughter had returned, the hand on the back of her hair moving forward to brush out strands from in front of her face.
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 2:47 pm
He was going to keep walking and Rory felt utterly exhausted by how overwhelmed, confused, and hurt she was. The girl knew deep down that she was the one at fault, she could have easily brushed it off and pretended like the admission hadn't caught her off guard or that it hadn't knocked her off course. But...the damage was done and there was no way she could just sweep everything that happened in the last fifteen minutes under some rug.
In her compromised emotional state, she had missed the way that he called her Rory and not Aurora like he always did, but she didn't miss him calling her baby when he gathered her into his arms. Like always, even when she was breaking his heart, his priority was her and despite herself she clung to him. "Don't - don't go okay?" She sniffled, burying her face against his chest while small hands grasped at his shirt.
"This isn't-- I don't want to- " She couldn't even bring herself to say it because no matter what she felt for someone else, she wanted to cling to Akio while he let her for now and certainly as she attempted to work through this whirlwind of emotions he had brought about with his confession.
And yet, there Akio was, trying to distract her by talking about his past and trying to get her to laugh. She did laugh, not because of what he was saying but because of how ridiculous she felt she was being and how ridiculous he was.
"I can't blame them," she managed, hiccuping when she pulled back to rub the tears from her face. She spent a long moment just looking at him, trying to figure out the weird mess of complex emotions she knew she harbored for him. Up her hands went, caressing his face and thumb sliding across a cheek. "You weren't suppose to make me cry...dummy."
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Posted: Wed Aug 16, 2017 3:06 pm
"I'll always be here for you, Aurora, there's no need to worry." A petite hand gripped the fabric of his (now tear-stained) shirt and he felt his heart squeeze tightly as a result of the desperate gesture. "No matter what happens, I can at least promise you that."
She was still stammering, but he waited patiently as she sorted through her words. Whatever she was trying to say, she was having difficulty doing so, up to the point where she gave up and chose to, instead, comment on the idea of older women hugging a dakimakura of himself. The notion would forever continue to creep him out (even more so when his little sister pointed out that there had to be some guys who bought the pillow too, in theory) but he was willing to divulge the shameful factoid if it brought a smile to her face.
Aurora had managed a laugh, at least. He was grateful for that.
"I could have done a lot of things better, to be fair." Akio admitted, still embarrassed at his blatant (albeit accidental) confession. Her thumb brushed against the reddened cheek and his head automatically turned to press a kiss against her palm. "I think it's just a natural habit of mine to sabotage myself from seeing this movie. Really, Aurora, you should pick out some better movie partners."
His chin lifted as his voice worked to reach a teasing tone. "You'd think after I messed it up last time that you'd have learned your mistake by now."
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Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 10:30 am
She was hiccuping, her eyes puffy and cheeks red from her tears, but she was managing to smile too because her she was with easily one of the most incredible boys she had ever had the fortune to meet. Lips pressed against her palm and she found her eyes closing, leaning in until her elbows were pressing against his chest.
"Hush," she murmured, trying her best to not overthink things any further. That's what had gotten her into this trouble in the first place, impulsive panic over something that didn't have to be a big deal if she didn't make it one.
But...
She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts. "You're right." She remembered the first time they attempted to watch the movie only to give up less than half way because they'd opted to kiss instead. Rory's apology for her dodginess because of her confusion and complex emotions for a blue eyed man. "It's a good thing I've seen this movie already or I'd never finish it."
Dropping a hand, she pushed onto the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek.
"Take me home Akio."
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Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2017 11:47 am
Her lips were soft and he felt his own eyes closing as they brushed against his tan skin. It would be foolish to assume that the kiss was anything more than her sweet, typical gesture of kindness - after all the flubbing that he'd done over the course of the evening, he wasn't sure if he even deserved that.
He exhaled slowly and she made her request.
"Your wish is my command, beautiful."
Leaning down, Akio retrieved the bag of uneaten food and the folded blanket. While his hands were lonely for hers, having her walk alongside him was consolation enough. Goodness only knew if they'd even be walking together, in the future.
In fact, there was a lot that was suddenly uncertain about their future and it worried him. His smile would say otherwise as he slowed his steps to keep up with his shorter girlfriend, but the lack of sleep that would plague him for the rest of the night would surely be proof.
Only time would tell what was going to happen to his relationship with the lovely Aurora Willows.
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