MINOR REVISION Character Name: Alpha Leporis Reason for Revision: I won Alpha Leporis from another player, and whle I love her attacks, I do want to expand them a little so that I can better use them with my writing style and understanding. Revisions Requested: Sailor Scout Attack:
original
Spirit Hare, Command Alpha Leporis calls the name of her attack and an ethereal image of a hare is summoned next to the caster and it quickly charges the target potentially knocking them back. It has a range of 10 feet. Can hit one target per attack and can be used three times per battle.
Revision
Spirit Hare, Conjure Alpha Leporis calls the name of her attack and is surrounded with a soft blue light. The light forms the shape of a spectral hare around her, enveloping her in the light. Alpha then points to a target within ten feet of her and the spectral hare is launched, hitting the opponent with enough force to knock them back up to five feet depending on character level and player discretion. The hare can only travel in a straight line. The charge of the spectral hare takes one second and will linger for five or until Alpha Leporis chooses a target. If Alpha Leporis does not choose a target in that time frame, the hare fades away. She can use this attack three times. This attack, due to only traveling in a straight line, can be dodged. If Alpha Leporis is unable to point, then the target cannot be locked and the attack fades after five seconds.
Super Sailor Scout Attack:
Original
Guardian Hare, Conjure Alpha Leporis calls the name of her attack and an ethereal image of a hare is summoned next to the caster and it quickly charges the target potentially knocking them back and biting with its jaws. It has a range of 15 feet. Can hit one target per attack and can be used two times per battle.
Revision
Guardian Hare, Command Alpha Leporis calls the name of her attack and is surrounded with a soft blue light. The light forms the shape of a spectral hare around her, enveloping her in the light. Alpha then points to a target within twelve feet of her and the spectral hare is launched, this time with her inside of it, hitting the opponent with enough force to knock them back up to eight feet as well as the sensation of being bitten and scratched by unseen hares depending on character level and player discretion. Because Alpha Leporis is now within the Hare, she is able to control the direction a little bit more and can slightly alter the course of its trajectory. The charge of the spectral hare takes one second and will linger for five or until Alpha Leporis chooses a target. If Alpha Leporis does not choose a target in that time frame, the hare fades away. She can use this attack two times. Even though Alpha Leporis can control the direction of the spectral hare a bit more, it can still be dodged. If Alpha Leporis is unable to point, then the target cannot be locked and the attack fades after five seconds.
Eternal Sailor Scout Attack:
Original
Mythical Hare, Knock-Out Alpha Leporis calls the name of her attack and two spectral hares appear and swirl around the caster's wrists before disappearing. The caster is now slightly faster, agiler and can punch with increased power. The caster may attack twice, once with each fist, but the effect will end if both attacks are not used within 15 seconds. Can be used twice per battle.
Revision
Mythical Hare, Knock-Out Alpha Leporis calls the name of her attack and is surrounded with a soft blue light. The light forms the shape of a spectral hare around her, enveloping her in the light for an instant before she absorbs it into herself. Once charged, Alpha Leporis has a 20% increase in speed and agility, allowing her to move faster and have more control over her trajectory. She also has a 10% increase in the power of her punch and has the addition of the biting and scratching sensation to each connecting punch. The charge of the spectral hare takes one second and the effects last for 45. She can cast this attack once per battle. Though she is faster and agiler, she is not impossible to dodge, it is simply more difficult to do so. If she lands a blow with any other part of her body (ie: headbutt, throwing elbows, kicking, etc) there is only a 5% increase in power and no biting and scratching effect.
I switched the names of Spirit Hare, Command and Spirit Hare, Conjure due to the increased control Alpha has in her super attack. So she conjures the spectral hare in her first attack, but she commands it in her second.
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Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2018 10:33 pm
MINOR REVISION Character Name: Beta Leporis Reason for Revision: I won Beta Leporis from another player, and while I love her attacks, I do want to expand them a little so that I can better use them with my writing style and understanding. Revisions Requested: Sailor Scout Attack:
Original
Rice Powder, Dust The caster spreads out her hands and rice powder fills the air covering her body in a circle. The dust is thick enough to conceal her and she can move and see within and out of it. It has a 15-foot radius. It lasts for 30 seconds. Can be used on herself or another target three times.
Revision
Rice Powder, Dust Beta Leporis calls the name of her attack and instantly a whirlwind begins to whip around her. A moment later, the air begins to grow thick with fine rice powder. This powder conceals her and any other order-aligned allies from by reducing or eliminating the vision of any chaos-aligned opponents. Along with diminished or eliminated visibility, the rice dust also causes irritation in the lungs resulting in coughing if it is breathed in. Order-aligned allies are spared from this effect as well and are able to move around freely. If a chaos-aligned opponent is wearing a mask or something that covers the nose and mouth or if they are wearing goggles they may experience lessened or no effects based on the amount of coverage. For instance, a scarf around the mouth may diminish the effect, but a gas mask will eliminate it altogether. The dust-filled whirlwind has a 15-foot radius and lasts for 30 seconds. Beta Leporis can use this attack three times per battle.
Super Sailor Scout Attack:
Original
Rice Powder, Veil The caster spreads out her hands and multi-colored rice powder fills the air in front of an area she designates. The dust can slightly disorient a target and block vision. The disorientation will stay with the target if it moves out of the area of effect. It can now cover two targets. It has a 15-foot radius. It lasts for 30 seconds. Can be used two times, but never on the same target more than once, per battle.
Revision
Rice Powder, Veil Beta Leporis calls the name of her attack and instantly, a whirlwind begins to whip around her. A moment later, the air begins to grow thick with fine rice powder. This powder conceals her and any other order-aligned allies from by reducing or eliminating the vision of any chaos-aligned opponents. Along with diminished or eliminated visibility, the rice dust also causes irritation in the lungs resulting in coughing if it is breathed in as well as a scratching sensation along an exposed skin. Order-aligned allies are spared from these effects as well and are able to move around freely. If a chaos-aligned opponent is wearing a mask or something that covers the nose and mouth or if they are wearing goggles they may experience lessened or no effects based on the amount of coverage. For instance, a scarf around the mouth may diminish the effect, but a gas mask will eliminate it altogether. The dust-filled whirlwind has a 20-foot radius and lasts for 30 seconds. Beta Leporis can use this attack three times per battle.
Eternal Sailor Scout Attack:
Original
Mochi Pounding, Pulse The caster stomps on the ground and a strong pulse emanates from a circle around her and the hollow sound of a wooden bowl pounding mochi can be heard in a steady rhythm. The circle has a 10-foot radius and can hold other people besides herself. The pulse pushes any person, object or attack away from the center of the circle. Can be used once per battle.
Revision
Mochi Pounding, Pulse Beta Leporis calls out the name of her attack and then stomps her foot down as hard as she can. From where her foot strikes, a pink energy wave shoots out in a ten-foot radius, pushing any chaos-aligned opponents away from her and any other order-aligned ally within that 15-foot radius. Along with the energy wave, there is also the sound of a low, hollow beat, like mochi being pounded in a wooden bowl causing any chaos-aligned opponents are disoriented to varying degrees based on character rank and player preference. Order-aligned allies are spared from the disorienting effect as well. The energy wave dissipates as soon as it reached the ten-foot radius, but the pounding lasts for 15 seconds. If a chaos-aligned opponent has something over their ears such as headphones or a hood, the effect of the pounding will be diminished or eliminated depending on the amount of protection. For instance, a chaos-aligned opponent with a hood may experience less disorientation whereas a chaos-aligned opponent with earmuffs will experience no disorientation. Beta Leporis can use this attack twice per battle.
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Sweenys_Revenge
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Strickenized
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Posted: Tue Jul 03, 2018 4:45 pm
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Habibi Kamjik / Sailor Pavo Reason for Revision: Rehome plus five years of life experiences. One virtue, flaw, hobby changed; super attack edited, and everything else got rewritten to match my diction. First name was also changed. Link to Old Profile: [ here ] Link to Revised Profile: [ here ]
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APPROVED
Posted: Mon Jul 23, 2018 11:13 am
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Isis Shamon > Omorose Khan Reason for Revision: Corruption! Just Civilian side is changing Link to Old Profile: [ [HERE] ] Link to Revised Profile:[HERE]
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Hinata Jaeger Reason for Revision: Character has not been played; profile has bene altered to be something that would be more fun for me to write! Link to Old Profile:[x] Link to Revised Profile:[x]
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APPROVED
Posted: Tue Aug 14, 2018 12:17 pm
MINOR REVISION Character Name:Transcendent Eternal Sailor Megrez Reason for Revision: Changing her Eternal attack per a submitted plot! (The plot has not been put into effect yet, so the change hasn't ICly happened- just making sure the writeup is okay.) Revisions Requested:
Original Eternal attack:
Quote:
Eggsplosion!
Tracing an egg shape with her hands, Megrez conjures a huge (4 foot tall) egg in front of her. The egg will rise about ten feet into the air and then explode in ten seconds, releasing a hail of smaller eggs (like those of her Sailor level attack) on everyone in a ten-foot area (it does not discriminate between enemies and allies). It will also injure people via eggshell shrapnel. There is a very small "safe area" directly below the giant egg where no smaller eggs will fall. The giant egg can be destroyed by an attack before it unleashes the egg rain, but it will still explode after being destroyed (no egg goop or smaller eggs will come out, but the shrapnel will still be a problem, especially for the person closest to the egg). The shrapnel and goop from the egg hail last for 40 seconds before they disappear. Can only be used once per battle.
New Eternal attack:
Quote:
Egg Shelling!
Megrez forms an egg shape with her hands and thrusts her hands at a single target, calling out the attack name. This target will be encased in a giant egg shell (to fit them). The shell will be unbreakable for 40 seconds from the inside or the outside. Nothing can get in or out, and characters capable of teleportation will find that teleportation out of the egg isn't possible. After that window, the target can break the egg from the inside, or someone outside can break the egg for them. Once broken, the egg shell pieces will linger for 30 seconds before disappearing. If no one breaks the egg, the egg will naturally disappear 30 seconds after the unbreakable period. The egg can be rolled around, but it will mysteriously bounce off hazardous terrain to avoid someone getting stuck in a potentially deadly place. This attack can only be used once.
MINOR REVISION Character Name: Sailor Vulpeculae - Thomas Valiar Hunt Reason for Revision: OP attacks. His powers, while formerly approved, are really over the top for the current shop. So I'm revising to make him more playable! Revisions Requested:
Attacks –
1- – "By touching a target, Vulpecuale can restore a target by healing small injuries, such as slight lacerations or bruises. His magic cannot heal broken bones or life threatening injuries/injuries that would require hospital treatment to heal. The magic can restore enough energy to fight off fatigue and can somewhat numb the pain of larger injuries. The magic takes fifteen seconds to cast and can be used twice daily."
2- "By touching a target, Vulpecuale can restore a target by healing moderate injuries, such as non life threatening lacerations or bruises. His magic cannot heal broken bones or life threatening injuries/injuries that would require hospital treatment to heal. The magic also restores an energy enough to give the target a 'second wind' by fighting off fatigue. It can somewhat numb the pain of larger injuries. The magic takes twenty seconds to cast and can be used twice daily."
3- "By channeling his magic, Vulpecuale can temporarily restore anyone he chooses within a six foot radius to pre-battle conditions. The magic will last for 45 seconds and allows his targets to behave without impairment. Typical movement and function will not damage them further, however they are not invulnerable for the duration of his magic and they can still be injured by outside forces. Their body will simply return to its pre-battle state for 45 seconds. When the magic fades, all damage returns."
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APPROVED
Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2018 12:03 pm
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Toren Estel Reason for Revision: Aged and purification changed his memories and personality Link to Old Profile: Profike Page Link to Revised Profile: Revision
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MoonKitsune
Romantic Exhibitionist
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SSBrosB
Springtime Noob
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Posted: Sat Nov 03, 2018 12:01 pm
MINOR REVISION Character Name:Nolan Ellwood (upgraded to Lt. Chambersite) Reason for Revision: - New art doesn't match starting weapon, eyes, hair color Revisions Requested: changing the basic starting weapon from cooking thermometer to toy turnip, he wears contacts while in civilian form to mask green eyes, hair is now dyed, future art will reflect both the correct hair color and eye color.
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APPROVED
Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2018 10:00 am
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Soleil Rigby / Captain Kosmochlor (previously Sunny Dyer / Babel Page) Reason for Revision: Corrupting! Link to Old Profile:Here Link to Revised Profile:Here
MINOR REVISION Character Name:Lieutenant Alabaster Reason for Revision: - Weapon progression doesn't quite work for his character Revisions Requested:
ORIGINAL PROGRESSION:
Quote:
Weapon:
Lieutenant - Pretty cane because he's extra.
Captain - A decorative staff. Magical effect: A hit by the staff can cause vibrating, ringing headaches to ripple suddenly through his opponent. Lasts 15 seconds.
General - A decorative scythe. Magical effect: Same as Captain stage, except lasts for 30 seconds.
NEW PROGRESSION:
Quote:
Weapon:
Lieutenant - Pretty cane because he's extra.
Captain - A decorative smaller sized scythe the same size as his cane. Magical effect: A hit by the scythe can cause vibrating, ringing headaches to ripple suddenly through his opponent. Lasts 15 seconds.
General - A decorative, much larger scythe. Magical effect: Same as Captain stage, except lasts for 30 seconds.
kuropeco
APPROVED
Posted: Fri Dec 28, 2018 9:40 pm
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Knot Halyard / Corrupt Eternal Stillwaterite of Ships Reason for Revision: Purifying! Link to Old Profile:HERE Link to Revised Profile:HERE
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Lucyal
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eldritch stardust
Kawaii Prophet
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Posted: Thu Jan 17, 2019 6:57 am
MAJOR REVISION Character Name: Sailor Saiph, Chibi Senshi of the Primordial Reason for Revision: She, uh... reincarnated Link to Old Profile:henlo Link to Revised Profile:hiiiii
Quote:
APPROVED
Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2019 4:54 pm
The Space Cauldron
MINOR REVISION Character Name: Youma General Faustite Reason for Revision: Adjusting attacks to feel more fiery lines up with Faustite's motif shift (from smoke to fire) upon becoming a general. Since the second youmability has not been used since ey became a general, I wanted to alter it to reflect eir bodily changes. Revisions Requested: Replacing Occlusion with the new ability Cinefaction. Dispersion and Faustite's youma effect receive very light alterations to work in the new ability. I am including their original forms regardless for full disclosure.
Current youmabilities —
Dispersion ;; Range: 3 foot radius with Faustite at the epicenter. Duration: 30 seconds Use Count: 3x Miss Chance: Circumventing magic, stepping out of range. Effect: Faustite draws eir hands together, and a sound like an opening lighter may be heard. Smoke pours from Faustite in a deafening blast. Those caught in the initial blast endure a ringing in the ears and mild disorientation. Breathing smoke causes burning lungs, stinging eyes, and frequent coughing. Ringing ears and coughing symptoms linger after leaving the smoke for 5 seconds. Any lasting damage is defending player's choice.
Occlusion ;; Range: Any single target within his 3' radius. Duration: Remaining time of Dispersion attack Use Count: 3x Miss Chance: All factors affecting Dispersion. Effect: Faustite draws all the smoke of eir present Dispersion attack into the lungs of the affected victim. The smoke passes through nose and mouth and leaves behind temporary burns in its wake. When in the victim's lungs, the smoke condenses into a toxic fluid that triggers various symptoms. Liquid inside the lungs causes coughing and gasping, while heat sears the tissue. The carbonaceous water evaporates at the end of the attack. Any lasting damage is defending player's choice.
Perkele ;; Appearance ;; Looks like an orange/red firefly squid. It's about 4' long in total, the head being about a foot long and the tentacles roughly 3 feet, which it can use to loosely manipulate objects or lightly restrain someone. The tentacles have brighter lights at the end. It has no beak. Its eyes are black. Water frequently drips off of it. The youma locomotes as if in water, though this magical air-swimming is limited by common sense factors. Ability ;; The youma squirts a clear 'ink' substance up to 6 feet away that clings to the target. It does not penetrate clothing unless the fabric is thin or the person gets thoroughly soaked. If the substance reaches the skin, it produces a mild itching and chemical burning sensation (like getting a diluted bleach mixture on one's skin). Lasting damage is defender's choice. If the ink comes in contact with Faustite's Dispersion attack, the ink will combust. This fire burns itself out after 20 seconds unless more ink is applied. Once started, only magic may ameliorate its effects. The youma can squirt ink twice per battle.
Proposed changes are as follows. Occlusion is dropped for a new second ability while the first ability + his youma's effect receive slight alterations (in bold) —
Dispersion ;; Range: 3 foot radius with Faustite at the epicenter. Duration: 30 seconds Use Count: 3x Miss Chance: Circumventing magic, stepping out of range. Effect: Piping mechanisms snap open and a sound like an opening lighter may be heard. Smoke pours from Faustite in a deafening blast. Those caught in the initial blast endure a ringing in the ears and mild disorientation. This smoke feels much hotter than the ambient temperature. Breathing smoke causes burning lungs, stinging eyes, and frequent coughing. Ringing ears and coughing symptoms linger after leaving the smoke for 5 seconds. Any lasting damage is defending player's choice.
Cinefaction ;; Range: Touch Duration: 2 minutes Reagent: 1 Starseed Miss Chance: Dodging, staying out of range, ice magic negates. Effect: After consuming a starseed, Faustite's body superheats to the point that body contact injures. Residual sparks and cinders may come off of Faustite while this effect is active. Potential burn damage increases the longer the target touches or is touched by Faustite. Damage incurred is therefore extremely variable depending on burn resistance, length of contact, skin coverage (thick clothing is much more difficult to penetrate), etc. OOCly this means the defending player may determine the severity of any burns, if any are received, with sound IC justification.
Youma ;; Appearance ;; Looks like an orange/red firefly squid. It's about 4' long in total, the head being about a foot long and the tentacles roughly 3 feet, which it can use to loosely manipulate objects or lightly restrain someone. The tentacles have brighter lights at the end. It has no beak. Its eyes are black. Water frequently drips off of it. The youma locomotes as if in water, though this magical air-swimming is limited by common sense factors. Ability ;; The youma squirts a clear 'ink' substance up to 6 feet away that clings to the target. It does not penetrate clothing unless the fabric is thin or the person gets thoroughly soaked. If the substance reaches the skin, it produces a mild itching and chemical burning sensation (like getting a diluted bleach mixture on one's skin). Lasting damage is defender's choice. If the ink comes in contact with Faustite's Dispersion or Cinefaction attack, the ink will combust. This fire burns itself out after 20 seconds unless more ink is applied. Once started, only magic may ameliorate its effects.
Strickenized
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Strickenized
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Orangeish Sherbert
Rebel Millionaire
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Posted: Sat Feb 02, 2019 3:57 pm
The Space Cauldron
MINOR REVISION Character Name:Tobias Lieberman/ Lupu of Saturn Reason for Revision: Purified, weapon and magic, civ profile staying the same. Revisions Requested: Weapon & Magic OLD: Lieutenant Weapon: Boomerang!
Captain Weapon: Bow and arrows, simple, red in coloring.
General Weapon: FANCY BOW AND ARROWS. Able to fire two arrows at once.
NEW Page Weapon: A small boomerang made of some sort of hollow bone.
Squire: A Bow Made out of Bone. As a squire, Lupu has a magic pool that lasts for forty seconds. When he channels the magic, he holds his bow and fires an ethereal arrow. Wherever it lands within a fifteen foot radius, skeletal hands come up and bind the target in place. The magic channeling does not begin until the arrow has landed and the arrows can do no damage, they are just a catalyst for his magic. A total of four hands come out of the ground at this stage, capable of holding either one person in a very strong grip, two in strong grips or four in moderately breakable one handed grips.
Anyone targeted by the hands will see flashes of a horrifying illusion of being surrounded by death and decay that worsens the more they struggle. The more hands that grip the target, the more overwhelming the sensation is.
Knight Weapon: A longer bow, made more ornate. As a Knight, Lupu has a magic pool that lasts for sixty seconds seconds. When he channels the magic, he holds his bow and fires an ethereal arrow. Wherever it lands within a fifteen foot radius, skeletal hands come up and bind the target in place. The magic channeling does not begin until the arrow has landed and the arrows can do no damage, they are just a catalyst for his magic. A total of Six hands come out of the ground at this stage with the same limitations as his squire stage. The more hands holding you, the stronger the grip.
And again, anyone targeted by the hands will see flashes of a horrifying illusion of being surrounded by death and decay that worsens the more they struggle. The more hands that grip the target, the more overwhelming the sensation is.
