|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:31 pm
37
Vyrtem nodded. "No, no, none taken. I don't know, I suppose that's all I've ever known. What keeps you guys going? How can you come back to this hellhole day after day?"
Now Krantz spoke. "Me, personally, I focus on my wife and kid. I'm working here for them. What I want is them to be provided for, and I guess I'm willing to put up with this for them."
Teich nodded. "I think o' home. When I's a li'l tyke, ye know? I think o' goin' back there some day, an' seein' m' ma and pa. Keeps me goin'.
Vyrtem listened as they outlined their various reasons for being here and what allowed them to make it through the day.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:39 pm
38 All of their motives seemed so... Positive. He'd always been taught that anger and hate will sustain you. But the Code calls for passion.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
Through passion, I gain strength. Vyrtem grew quiet for a moment as he thought. Teich woke him from his daydreams."Well, lads, back t' work. You, too, Mr. Sith, sir."Vyrtem smiled. "I'm hardly a Sith yet."Teich touched his nose conspiratorially "But ye're on yer way. Ye'll make a fine Sith, sir. May even teach those stuffy ol' bastards in their dresses a thing'r two."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:43 pm
39
Vyrtem thanked him as Teich and the others suited up. He took a deep breath as he prepared for the airlock to open. When it did, the heat hit the young Initiate like a rushing wave of boiling seawater. he exhaled resignedly. Time to get back to work.
Vyrtem spent the rest of the day fighting against his own incompetence. He was beating his head against a wall. Something needed to give. He though about everything he'd learned. Everything he'd been taught. He shook his head and furrowed his brow. What he'd been taught wasn't working!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:46 pm
40
He clenched his fists impotently. Nothing he had been taught was getting him anywhere. Maybe he'd wasted all this time on a fool's errand.
No. He had to go back to basics. There had to be an answer. Anger. Hate. Rage. All were simply feeding back in upon themselves, consuming Vyrtem's mind and wasting his time. None of those things were getting him anywhere. But something had to work. Something had to answer this question. Something had to fulfill this need. Vyrtem couldn't give up. He needed this... Through passion, I gain strength.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:51 pm
41
Why?
Why did he need this?
Through victory my chains are broken.
He needed this to break his chains. What chains did he actually have? Indignant anger? Embarrassment? Chains made of paper. Fleeting emotions that should serve to feed some higher passion. What was his higher passion? He opened his eyes against the stinging air. Vengeance? Against what? No. Anger? What did he have to be angry about? Hate? Who does he really hate? Nobody... What kind of Sith was he?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 9:57 pm
42
This small vengeance was not enough to drive him. Apparently not even enough to accomplish his short term goals... He pondered a moment. What was his long term goal? Immortality, he figured, after a time. How would he reach that goal? How would he get from where he was now to where he wanted to be? He was definitely mortal. The other day had taught him that. He was breakable. Fragile. Weak.
Weak.
He was weak. That was the truth of it. He was weak and that Apprentice was strong. Vyrtem needed to be strong. He needed... Power.
Power.
He needed power. He wanted power. Craved it. To what end, though? Why did he need power? What was it for? He'd never really though about it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:00 pm
43
He left shortly after that, his thoughts and limbs heavy with exhaustion. He laid in bed, staring at the ceiling. He tried to figure out the answer to that confounding question. He clenched and unclenched his fists, flexing his healing arms experimentally. he had strength, but he lacked power. Why did he need power, though? Simply to have power? Not good enough. To be a more powerful Sith? To what end? What was the purpose of being a Sith? He'd never questioned it before, but what was he really doing here outside of repaying a debt that he owed for the saving of his life?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:03 pm
44
Vyrtem thought of all the reasons those men had to get up and go to work every day. What got him out of bed in the morning? Training. Why? To become a Sith. Why? Because that's all he's ever known. Why? Because the Empire had adopted him. Why? Because he was found alone, broken and dying. Why? Because his entire family had died. He was the only survivor.
The only one left. He thought about the ancestors he knew nothing about. He thought about how his entire family was gone. He was the only one left...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:05 pm
45
He stopped, his brow furrowed. Was that why? Was he doing this for them? Because they had died, he wanted to live. Because he had lost them, he wanted to never be lost. He had been beaten and broken, but the Force had sustained him. And if the Force itself had sustained him there must be a reason. The Force wanted him to survive. He wanted to survive. He... He didn't want to die. He wanted to be strong, like his father. He wanted to be strong now because he hadn't been strong enough then. He needed to survive because he was all that was left. Through him, they lived.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:09 pm
46
He held his mother's dog tags in his right hand, and his father's bracer in his left. His sister's locket hung around his neck. As long as he was alive, they couldn't die.
Tears fell to the floor as he clenched his eyes shut... His hands shook... This feeling... He couldn't see... His body was weak. His heart, though. His heart felt heavy... Full. This... What was this? Pain? Anguish? Despair? No. Not anger, not rage. Neither joy nor truly sadness. He felt... He felt... Strong. Not physically, but... Emotionally. Spiritually.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:13 pm
47
Vyrtem imagined as he sat on his bed that his father was on his left side and his mother on his right. They looked just the same as they had when he was young... They each had a hand on his shoulder. He saw his sister, plain as day before him, her huge yellow eyes smiling back up at him. He could... He could feel them. His body shook and more tears fell. The emotion overwhelmed him and he began to cry. To sob. All his strength, all his bravado, gone. He was broken by the sorrow and left empty as his pain rolled down his cheeks. He placed his hand on his mother's hand and promised her. "I wont... I won't die. I won't let you down. I will carry you with me." He sat, broken. Empty. He had wept all of his soul out.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:16 pm
48 And slowly, he felt a warmth spread through him. A strength. A purpose. He would become powerful enough to carry their legacy. To make them proud. His eyes burned and his heart swelled as he surrendered. What was this feeling? Pride? Yes. Determination? Yes. Passion.
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.
He had found his purpose. His passion. His drive. He squeezed his mother's hand and held on to this emotion. It was real. Deep. Not paper thin and shallow like embarrassment or frustration. He drew strength from their presence, and he would use it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:21 pm
49
Vyrtem slept deep and fast that night. When he awoke, he was not driven to the furnace room. Instead, he took his time. He bathed, groomed and ate a hearty breakfast. He felt... Light, almost. Carefree. Nothing in the world could get to him. Not even the other Initiates snickering at him as they walked past. They were children. They knew not what they did. But they couldn't hurt him. No one could. He carried the might Vayne legacy in his veins. He was untouchable. Unbreakable.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:24 pm
50
Vyrtem found that he was smiling. Not intentionally, mind you, but subconsciously. Easily. Everything seemed easier today. Every stride was made with purpose, every motion colored with crystal clear intent. He found himself focused. Like a laser.
Vyrtem paced slowly to the furnace room, savoring the walk and breathing the hot, dry Korriban air. When he arrived, Teich and the guys welcomed him and clapped his shoulder.
"Still ain't figured out how t' keep it shut, eh, sir?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Mar 06, 2015 10:27 pm
51
Vyrtem laughed "No, I guess not." he walked to his secluded corner and knelt, drawing a deep, slow, burning hot breath, and began to clear his mind.
He focused on his purpose. His drive. He saw in his mind his father, standing tall and proud. Strong in body and in will. He saw his mother beside his father, strong in mind and soft in spirit. And his sister, small and innocent, raw to the world with an infinite number of possibilities stretched out before her...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
