Welcome to Gaia! ::

Hmm, fine then. I haven't blacked out then, so much as I've continued actions without my awareness of them.

Awww, Shazzer!

I really wish you all the luck in the world, so that you can come out of this alright. For me, moving out of my moms house seems like a scary prospect, seeing as I don't really have anywhere else to go but...if you have such a place, I don't know what to really say. A hug would sum it up though. I was told once, that when things are like that at the home then that's probably the best thing that could ever happen to you. It looks like that's what has happened now, and hearing this from you it seems to only confirm it. Maybe, if you find it not as bad as it sounds, it won't be so bad for me if I ever have to do it?

I'm so glad that you feel alright all about this. You're so lucky...

Again, good luck. heart

Yeah,, that's one of my opinions in life that I believe is actually worth listening to:

You don't need religion, only the good morals and ethics that it teaches. So keep your god damned religion to yourselves.

*shrugs*

I wouldn't say that much. I just believe that religion is kind of something that should be kept to oneself, seeing as it is the leading cause for war and blah.

*hears Kozo moo*

Please elaborate.

Well, the purpose of life is to be a slave to the cycle. So the future generations may prosper from your time and remains.

Nothing more.

If I was religious, I'd be Buddhist.

Yo.

That's the way to be.

You should listen to the Black Sabbath song called "Am I Going Insane."

Good song. I bet they were stoned at the time.

....feh I could care less about double postage right now...screw you edit button. I'm gonna keep this short.

Ok, right now my watch is telling me it's about oooohhhhh...2:45 AM. The problem is I slept until 1PM today and didn't sleep until 3AM the night before...Thank you very much insomnia. Now I was going to go to sleep at about 1:30 AM tonight...errr this morning, but I decided to have a snack first. It was a delightful, cheap, candy bar. Cookies and cream flavored, one of those Atkins-type things. Unfortunetly I didn't read the entire package. In rather small lettering reads 2 words: Energy Bar... ********..... -_-' Well, so much for sleep...feh, I'm gonna go stare at my ceiling until 9 AM then have some coffee and dayquill.....see y'all at about 9AM ^_^ ....******** insomnia...

You are freaking amazing Shaz... I mean, don't take this as a suggestion or anything, but I'd seriously have killed that woman by now if I was you.
I just watched farenheit 9/11.... I never really got around to seeing it until just now. My God it just makes too much sense. Yes, it's a little bias but holy s**t, so are the American newscasters! Who the hell ADMITS on national TV that they are a bias and opinionated newscaster? Doesn't that defeat the ******** purpose? What the ******** is with your news? I agree with Mike Moore, every night you guys aren't informed as to the happenings in the world, you're told what to fear. The footage is VERY censored too. Even the things that go to Canada have been cut off. We never got to see HALF of the footage from Iraq!
For ******** sake, you have to something about your president. Watching that movie made me want to take up arms. If a nation unites to demand the ruler step down he can do nothing but oblige! If he does not then swift reprimand in the form of armed vigilantism will be brought down like Vulcan's hammer!
Canadian news didn't say a damn thing about the American government's spending. Did you hear about it? George W. Bush is a prime example of a pure Machiavelian. He appears to care about the people, but look into his investments and the investments of his family. This man is making a rather large profit off of needless massacre and so are his associates.
Isn't it a little strange that after your government said they new EXACTLY WHERE SADDAM KEPT HIS NUCLEAR WARHEADS they still came up with nothing? It's a little suspicsious. Let's not forget how deep the Bin Laden family's business ties run with the Bushes. I mean, we all new about Snapple, but the fact that they had their fingers in the Carlyle Group? That was news.
Bushes reaction to 9/11 wasn't rational either. A major city where your father should be having a meeting is attacked and you do NOTHING? No, I think not. Anger arises, fear, anxiety, but he does NOTHING! For ten ******** minutes the man sits reading a childrens book to kindergardeners and THEN when he is finished the book he decides to leave. These are not the actions of a man who is concerned for anybody's safety.
The worst thing for me was seeing children and women bleeding on the ground with their limbs and chests torn open and the organs spilling out through the lattice-work of their ribcages. I thought this was terrible until I realized something; not all of the bodies were dead.
This is what your people are forced to do. They are held FAR past the required time because you lack the manpower to keep this going. Who will join your glorious American army now that you have been so stricken? The draft will come agian, and when it does there will be a tremendous outcry.
Your government doesn't even read the laws they pass. Nobody's government does. This is why bills like The Patriot Act are allowed to exist. If this law was passed in Canada I would be in JAIL! I would be considered a dangerous man and I would be under 24 hour survailence! Why is this you might ask? Because I can make lethal weapons out of objects around the house. I can make guns, I can make bombs, knives, clubs, flails, whatever. I also have the ability to gain information. If I want to know soemthing bad enough, I can find out. IT's as simple as that. If my computer was searched, and my library records examined. I would be seen as a potential armed, anti-government, vigilante and possible terrorist. Do you have any idea how this makes me feel? I shiver at the thought of what that bill means. What happens now when you read one too many books about missle design? One to many karate or kendo manuals? Read too much about witchcraft? Say too much about the government? I plan on creating an armored car, what does your government have to say about that? I can make model airplanes, they can be fitted with explosives or firebombs; any comments?
I can operate the internet. Already this makes me a potential threat because I can access just about any information I need to contruct anyhting form an anti-tank weapon to a frag grenade. I can operate a car, a plane, a boat, and I have some limited wilderness survival training. I am anxious, depressed, angsty, angry, adolecent and have enough equipment to outfit a small unit of operatives... what does your government think of me now? Hell, it's probably getting dangerous for me to type this! I'm in the USA all the time. What if one day the US decides to search one of your internet histories? Waht if they see my screen name and track my IP? What they get my picture? Next time I cross I could be nailed for suspected terrorism. Thank you George W Bush. I ******** love your country guys. Let's make it better and go 1812 on the ******** capital, eh? biggrin

So I've decided to throw myself into this business with open arms. What's the point of secrecy, yeah? I don't see too much of a point. Also, I'm going to apologize if most of this doesn't make sense or seems garbled. I'm just spilling.

I'm seventeen, going to be eighteen in a few months, and I just dropped out of high school with a GPA of something like...one. It feels like everything in my life is falling apart at his moment, and all I have left to hold onto are the drugs and the alcohol. The only things that make things real are the things that are slowly killing me. Whatever, that's that.

My mother and father are incredible people. My rolemodels, and I know most kids don't get to say that often. My father never finished the ninth grade, and we live in a three story house on a lake with three big-screen tvs, a boat and a jetski. They're both utterly amazing salespeople, and the ease with which they breeze through life is completely amazing to me.

I'm going to be honest, take it as arrogance if you will- but I'm ******** brilliant. I just recently took my GED and entrance exams for a college nearby and scored in the upper ninetieth percentile in everything save for social studies, which metered out at an eighty-seven. My sister has already dropped out, is now twenty and moving to an entire state away with her girlfriend, who is a minor.

Up until now, I've had an extremely close group of friends, with one of those friends being closer to me and more supportive to me than anyone else I've ever known or felt. Shaz, you know him- W i n g_ A r m o r.

For awhile, he was alienated from our little group because he fell in with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol. I'm ashamed to say that I was one of those people who shunned him. Finally, I wisened up and basically left the bigots who called themselves my friends behind, joining him. As it stands now, I have maybe three or four people I can honestly call my friends, and that's the way I like it.

My parents have naturally high expectations of me, and to add another level of death-stress, they're obscenely dissapointed in my choices in life. In a recent psyciatric evaluation- which both myself and my parents objected to vehemently but my grandmother pushed- they officially diagnosed me with "severe sociopathic tendencies and severe sadistic inclination." This, I believe, is utter bullshit. I know the difference between right and wrong, and...well, admittedly, I'm a bit of a sadist. -shrug- We all have quirks.

The biggest thing about this post, though, is probably my writing. I don't...fit, anymore, if that makes any sense. My RPing is decent, my stories are...OK, but I used to be at a point where I was happy with the end result of whatever I did. I used to have a well-established style, plenty of voice, all that business...but now...I don't know.

I think I was really jarred out of my 'track', by the criticism of someone close to me. "It's too much detail," they said, and I was inclined to agree. But now, I just can't find that happy medium between detail and content, and nor can I give my posts or stories the body I've always wished that they've had...I'm hoping this is a phase, and that with regular writing this will improve, but who knows.

That's pretty much...it. Just wanted to get it off my chest. xd