He'd spent most of his life knowing exactly who he was, but while he hadn't hid it, exactly, he hadn't spread it around either. In his own mind, the decisions he made were private and nobody's business but his own, and while some (namely Patrick) had been entirely accepting of that fact, there were others (Angie) who had not been so open-minded.
Nothing is wrong with me.
The mantra was back up in Ian's mind, a phrase repeated over and over again until it was practically ingrained into his skin like one of the tattoos on his back. His knees up, he laid his arms across them casually, idly picking at the leather bracelet on one hand. Shiloh had already moved back to his own sort of space, and Ian stayed where he was.
He shrugged. "Nervous probably isn't the right word," he said, in a voice kept deliberately neutral. His eyes flickered out towards the field, at the grass that stretched beyond them. "But either way, I'm not really the best guy in the world, as you've probably figured out by now."
A slightly sardonic smile stretched across his face as he turned back to look at Shiloh.
"The wolf and the lamb," he said, in as airy and careless voice as possible, but it came out sounding slightly mocking all the same.
sammpai
...I just laughed rly hard at that gif ngl
Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 9:42 pm
The tone of Ian’s voice had changed, it wasn’t playful anymore or even curious. It was just nothing, his words stated matter-of-factly. It worried Shiloh; it hadn’t been his intention to offend the man. He frowned, the situation growing more and more confusing by the moment. He had thought Ian was a nice guy, and truthfully he still did, so he didn’t understand why the Mist hunter was saying otherwise. Besides, warning Shiloh that he wasn’t a nice guy was doing a nice thing anyway, wasn’t it? Shiloh just refused to believe it. Ian had only complimented him after all. He’d held his wrist too, but Shiloh hadn’t really tried to get away or told him to let go. There had been several instances that Ian could have taken advantage of him, or at least tried to, and he hadn’t. Shiloh was certain that Ian had been misinformed about himself.
And when Ian didn’t move after him, and Shiloh settled, letting out the breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding in quietly. It was easier this way, to return to being playful.
“If you are comparing me to a lamb, I swear to God Ian, as if a puppy wasn’t bad enough.
He forced another smile, grinning broadly and laughing off Ian’s mocking tone.
“And besides, a wolf, you? What are you going to do, eat me? You’re still just a Ch-Ian-ken.”
kurotomato
every time i write that pun, a little part of me dies
He wasn't quite sure Shiloh understood, especially considering that Ian still hadn't figured out if him moving away was because he was just nervous about getting too close or nervous because he was getting too close to another man. Either way, Ian was pretty certain that both options were still on the table.
He pointedly ignored Naomi's dire I told you so's. A crooked, slightly amused smile passed his face as he gave Shiloh a pointed look. The pun was terrible, truly terrible, but he was more focused on the part that had come before that. "Ducks, puppies, lambs...all creatures with one thing in common, really."
Reaching out, and before he could stop himself, Ian curled his fingers around the back of Shiloh's neck and pulled him towards him, pressing his lips briefly, but firmly against the other's.
"...they can all be eaten by the wolf," he breathed out against his mouth, his eyes shutting momentarily as though pained - and then Ian let go, moving away to give Shiloh back his space, draping his arms back over his legs as he stared off in the opposite direction.
sammpai
Posted: Sun Sep 08, 2013 10:53 pm
Shiloh, in hindsight, should have seen it coming. After all, hadn’t Ian warned him? But Shiloh was Shiloh, and like the other suggested animals, the innocence of a lamb wasn’t far off the mark. He had thought he’d earned his safety by sitting back, but only an arm’s length away, Ian had pulled him back again, his fingers warm against Shiloh’s neck, and his lips pressed firmly against his.
It was only for a moment, but a moment was enough time for a million thoughts to run through Shiloh’s head, though none of those thoughts registered as him not liking it. Unfortunately, the rest of his body had yet to get the memo, and he squirmed against Ian like a frantic cat, grasping onto his arms in an attempt to push him away. He hadn’t needed to, as Ian moved of his own accord, sitting back and for all intensive purposes, ignoring Shiloh. Needless to say, it wasn’t entirely how Shiloh had imagined his first kiss with a guy would be, and over the course of the past several years, he’d imagined it a lot.
He was still a jumble of thoughts, however, which should have translated to a jumble of words but they seemed to all get stuck on the way from his brain to his mouth, and he sat there for a minute, his mouth hanging open.
“Huh… So, that was a thing.”
Shiloh didn’t know how he felt about it. He hadn’t hated it, and it might have even been kind of nice, for the few seconds it lasted. He didn’t really have a lot of kisses to judge it by. But he glanced around nervously nonetheless, wondering if anyone had seen. His skin was ten shades redder than it had been before, and he covered his face with his shirt, flopping back onto the grass with a stifled groan. This was entirely too much information to process at once.
“You know, I think you’re supposed to warn people before you do that sort of thing. But I guess as long as that’s all you wanted to do, and not eat my face off, I guess I can forgive you. Maybe.”
He didn’t know if he should be mad at Ian for kissing him, but being mad required a lot of work on his part and mostly he was just confused.
He'd been gentle, if he were being honest. He'd held back the impulse to do something a lot less chaste, but doing anything more probably would have scarred the poor guy for life, if he thought about it - especially considering he'd felt Shiloh's hands pushing at his arms, trying to get away.
Which meant that he'd been both wrong and right. Wrong, because he'd thought maybe Shiloh could have been different because of that innocence. Right, because a part of him had already thought that there was that disgust there, and Shiloh attempting to push him back almost immediately only just confirmed his suspicions.
A soft snort escaped his lips. "Yes, that was 'a thing,'" said Ian, a little dryly. He turned his head to look over at Shiloh, whose face was flushed redder than a tomato. But the face in question was soon out of view as the shirt came up to cover it, Shiloh laying back down on the grass.
"I did warn you - I said I was the wolf and that I wasn't a good person," said Ian, with mild amusement, but there was also a note of slight surprise in it because Shiloh was supposed to be mad at him. Wasn't that what the pushing away had meant? That he was disgusted and angry and embarrassed. Ian let out his breath in a slow exhale.
"I realize we're still, ah...getting to know each other," he said, idly twisting the bracelet on his wrist again. "I am, after all, hardly the type to actually make friends, and you and I are more like new acquaintances than anything else. We did just meet a few days ago, which is sort of weird because time seems to move really fast and slow at the same time here. But, well..."
He shrugged, keeping his face deliberately neutral. "I wasn't ever planning on eating your face off," he said, but then he paused and added, almost teasingly, "Not that I would have minded that, because like I said, you're pretty cute."
Ian tugged at a strand of grass somewhere near his feet. He knew Shiloh had said that he would forgive him, but the fact remained that he was one thing and Shiloh was an entirely different thing. And it wasn't that he was irritated, but there was a resigned look on his face because, as usual, he was terrible at making lasting friendships.
Or even just acquaintances, really.
"Look, this is who I am," he said finally. "I won't try anything else again, I swear. I'll leave you alone."
sammpai
I am the raccoon
Posted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 4:36 pm
Shiloh groaned again.
“Say it with me, handsome. Good-looking. Hell, I’ll even settle for hot. But not cute. Girls are cute.”
He rubbed his palm against his forehead while Ian spoke, considering everything. It was true that Shiloh hadn’t been mad before, but now he was a little annoyed. He was frustrated, more so, that Ian had been the one to come onto him, and push into his comfort zone, yet the Mist hunter has suddenly turned melancholy and moody, leaving Shiloh to feel like the levelheaded one. Ian was talking about not being a good person and friendship and his supposed inability to keep friendships, and when he finally got to the end, and promised to leave Shiloh alone, it was the final straw.
It was very rarely that Shiloh’s face ever looked serious or stern, but as he got to his feet, there was for once no smile in his expression. He fixed Ian with a hard stare, and threw his shirt at him.
“Listen, bud, you’re the one that kissed me. I’m the one that should be moping around, not you, but I don’t particularly mind that you did that, I don't think, so I’m not. Do you always give up so easily? How do you expect anything to last if you just stop trying as soon as anything doesn’t go as planned? Keep that,” he said, gesturing to his shirt. “You can borrow it, maybe wash it for me, and return it when you’re ready to take responsibility for yourself. And it’s one of my favourite shirts, so you’d better bring it back.”
Shiloh couldn’t help it, and smiled a little at the last part. He wasn’t terribly arrogant, but he did think that was pretty funny. And he definitely thought he deserved more than the cop-out Ian was offering. He felt like Ian deserved it too. Maybe he was just misguided or something, Shiloh thought, but he still felt that the man was a nice guy and he’d enjoyed his company today, all things considered. He stooped to pull on his shoes, and collect Haruka, coiling her around his arm.
“I mean it, Ian,” Shiloh said as he turned to leave. He gave Ian another look, using his fingers to give Ian the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. Then he grinned again.
“Toodles!”
He wasn’t going to wait for a response; he didn’t want to hear one. If Ian wanted this, acquaintanceship or friendship, or whatever, he was going to have to man up and come to Shiloh.
kurotomato
shiloh layin the beat downnnn (its okay ian, he still likes u really, and he will beat u up if you dont bring his shirt back)
also possibly wrap, or you can respond and we can wrap there? biggrin and then start a new one hehehehehehhehehe >DDD
"Fine, fine," said Ian, rolling his eyes as he swiveled to look at Shiloh with a mildly exasperated expression. "You're handsome, good-looking, and hot but definitely not cute. Are you happy?"
There was a small bit of amusement to his voice, but he was still half withdrawn into his own inner annoyance - at least until a shirt hit him in the side of the face without any sort of warning whatsoever.
"Hey - "
Startled, he batted it off his head and stared up at Shiloh who was, predictably, angry - except not about what Ian had thought he would be angry about. He opened his mouth to say something and then promptly closed it again with a snap of his jaw, a muscle pulsing in his jawline.
He opened his mouth again -
- and then shut it again because what on earth was he even supposed to say to that.
Momentarily stunned into silence, Ian said and did nothing as Shiloh grabbed his things to leave, instead gaping after him like a stupefied fish out of water. His fingers curled around the shirt in his hands and he glanced down at it briefly before looking back up again.
