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 Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2014 7:27 am
T A B L E . O F . C O N T E N T S
ToC
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 6:16 am
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 6:17 am
Revenge
Do this, do that. Attend this. Be seen here, go there. It was like Xenosa had become an item, an object that Aevah played with whenever she pleased with no say in what happened to her. Her body, mind. They all belonged to Aevah and Xenosa hated it. Just the simple thought of being owned enraged her to the point where Xenosa saw black and red. It could not go on, Xenosa could no longer do it. Aevah was taking her soul away from her, using her and then she would discard her like everyone else in her life had done.
This was Xenosa’s greatest fear. To be used up until there was nothing left of her and the discarded to the curb like dirty garbage. Something told her that she needed to break free and run now or she would forever be suck in this path. Which was why when the Mara attacked and Aevah gave her rank, Xenosa shed that skin and ran away. She could no longer do it. She could not be this plaything anymore and she didn’t care how many people paid the price for her. She simply did not care anymore, could not feel anything anymore.
More than anything Xenosa wanetd to live and she’d hide. Killing when she needed, hiding when she could. Aevah would certainly be angry with her, furious that her pet had run away and hid. It wasn’t something Xenosa wanted to do, not a habit she wanted to have. Though she felt like she was losing herself and she’d had to run. Aevah had given her no choice. Xen needed to take her life back, needed to have control before it all spiraled out of reach from her. She needed to protect herself; she just wasn’t sure how she was going to do such a thing.
First however, Xenosa spent many nights not sleeping in hiding. She was constantly watching her back afraid either Aevah or the Mara found find her. She was like a drug addict, not sleeping and paranoid. However, sleep claimed her soon enough and Xenosa slept like a rock for what felt like an eternity. When she awoke, she felt better, more like herself. Like awakening from a dream. Guilt gripped her; she needed to check on things. It had been days after all and she needed to see how the rest of the world was doing.
The world was fine, it would need to be patched up but it was okay. Though there was a nice letter awaiting for her at home when she did return. Aevah was asking for her, fear gripped her and Xenosa left the city that same day. She knew she was going to have to return and face Aevah. There was no choice; Xenosa was simply not ready to face her yet. Still didn’t know what she wanted. What would life look like if she resisted Aevah?
She didn’t know and that scared her. She liked her status; Xenosa simply didn’t want to fight anymore.
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Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 6:18 am
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Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2014 2:37 pm
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Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:33 am
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:44 pm
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:46 pm
The announcement
The Orderite sat straight in the chair in the large corridor. The ornate doors next to her were closed and she heard soft voices filtering through. Xenosa was nervous, very nervous. She knew Aevah was angry, she’d come back home to find multiple letters had been left and all were getting longer and longer. Aevah reminding her of her obligations and what she’d given her. Was she planning on removing everything to punish her? Perhaps, but Xenosa had enough money and status to be able to continue to live without Aevahs support. She didn’t need her as much as Aevah needed her.
But she could always be wrong.
The doors opened and a general stepped out, he turned back towards the office and bowed before looking at Xenosa with distain. She returned his look with one of her own.
“Come in Xenosa.” Came Aevahs voice from within her office. Xenosa stood up, straightened herself out and walked into the office closing the doors behind her. Aevah had her back to her and was looking through the window. “Take a seat please.” Xen did as she was told and Aevah turned towards her and took a seat.
“How are you?”
“I am well, yourself?”
“Tired, the city is in shambles after the mara attack.” Xenosa stared at her; there would be no pleasantries between them. Aevah took a deep breath. “How much have I given you Xenosa?”
“Much. You have given much in life.”
“And yet you throw all of that away and for what? Why were you not where you needed to be when I called upon you in the Mara attack? You disappoint me. Many people died, how could you simply run away Xenosa? Do you understand the gravity of your actions? You are an irresponsible brat that I need to constantly keep watch.”
“I am not a brat.”
“Yes you are, you always have been. You were born illegitimate, you were a brat young. Daenat considered you a brat and I consider you a brat. However, you were a manageable brat but you are becoming a nuisance. Do you know how I deal with nuisances Xenosa? I make sure they stop bothering me. The Orderites are like a well oiled machine, if one parts begins to break down it will be replaced. You are breaking and I will need to replace you if this behavior keeps up. Do you understand?”
“I understand you perfectly clearly.”
“Good, I don’t want to replace you. You are extremely good at what you do sadly, however. I will make sure you continue to work well in this machine. Which is why I’ve arranged for you to be married.”
“I’m sorry what did you just say?”
“I owed a favor and now I am banking on this favor. As it turns out it will work well for your situation. Sythen will make you a wonderful husband.”
“You cannot do this.” Xenosa stood up and so did Aevah.
“I can, I will, and I have. Do not forget you has given you everything Xenosa. Do. Not. Forget get. Now get out of my sight and go prepare for your wedding.” Xenosa stood her ground.
“Must I have you escorted out?”
Xenosa breathed in deeply and turned around giving the chair she’d been sitting on a strong kick so it flew and toppled over.
“Brat!” she heard Aevah say as she walked out of the office.
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Posted: Sat Dec 27, 2014 12:46 pm
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 9:13 am
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 9:46 am
Eventful
Xenosa stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her long magenta hair was up in intricate braids, her makeup enhanced her face and expensive jewelry gave her an elegance that she didn’t know she had. She was the epitome of beauty on this night; she had to be since she was meeting her future husband. Aevah had not asked for her ever since, they’d only communicated through courier and she had pretty much taken control of this wedding and all its preparations since then. First however, she had to meet him and then they had to announce he was courting her.
It all seemed so formal, so constrained and Xenosa was choking. She imagined herself ripping the necklace from her neck and her hands turning to claws as she clawed at her hair to undo it. But in the end, she simply gazed back at her passive expression in the mirror. Sadness, that was all she could feel. Emptiness as well, but she had an air of sadness about her. This was not who she was, she was a brat. She did as she pleased. But as she had grown up it felt like the chains had tightened on her.
The gown Xenosa was wearing was a light pink color; it hugged her body before flaring out at the ends. It was time to go. Xenosa moved away from the mirror and towards the door, down the hall she went in Aevahs estate and headed towards the great hall. Aevah was holding this party, a ploy to make it seem like Xenosa and Sythen meeting had been a chance. As she grew closer to the great hall she heard music and then finally her name as she was announced into the room. Eyes turned to her as she her eyes swept across the room and she found a male walking towards her.
Tall and as pale as snow the man walked towards her with a smile. His hair was long and ended just below his shoulder blades, it was white but held a tint of purple to it and his eyes matched the color but were lavender. He was also muscular, a warrior if she’d ever seen one. He bowed before her and extended his hand.
“Yu look lovely Xenosa, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Sythen.” What if she ran now? What if she decided to ignore him and do as she pleased? Xenosa spotted Aevah watching her from the corner and Xen took the extended hand. Aevah raised her glass in approval.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well.” There was no turning back now; at least he wasn’t unpleasant to look at. Once she’d taken his hand they moved to the dance floor for a dance before he broke off and went to speak with some men to the side. He did not look at her for the rest of the night, even when she tried to speak to him he shrugged her off.
Xenosa considered running away again.
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Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 10:14 am
The meeting
“You know, I’m not terribly fond of you either.” Sythen said as he gazed out the window of the carriage.
“Yea I figured that much thank you. Please don’t speak to me until we’ve arrived. I do not wish to keep up this charade when we are in private.” Xenosa shifted away from him again, he glanced at her and sighed. He spoke no more thankfully.
She’d tried. She had really tried her hardest. She’d tried to be girly, loving, motherly, and flirtatious, you name it Xenosa had tried it and he had continuously ignored her and her advances. They announced a few days earlier that they were courting and in public he was just warm enough so people didn’t think otherwise. In private he was cynical and pessimistic. She dropped her gentle act as soon as he’d pushed her off of him when she’d tried to kiss him. As if she’d been about to burn him and she was this disgusting thing. And perhaps she was.
Xenosa had found out that he’d been forced into this union but didn’t know why yet. Xenosa was going to find out, but at least the gig was up. Now she was about to meet his parents, he couldn’t meet her own after all since they wanted nothing to do with her. She was sure they’d arranged the whole thing; they were in on it so thankfully she wouldn’t have to be nice to him. Just thinking about being stuck with him for the rest of her life was enough to make her cringe. Maybe marriage would warm him up.
They arrived and Xen was helped out of the carriage, he was from an extremely wealthy family it seemed. First born as well which meant all this would be hers one day, one day she would have to share this with him. His parents were at the door to the large home; his mother was smiling down at her but his father looked grim. They met and she was a very warm and kind woman, though his father held her at arm’s length. Xenosa figured then it was a family trait that the men kept people away from them for whatever reason.
“I am so happy to finally meet you, please come in, come in. Dinner is served.” Xenosa followed the family to the dining room and took a seat across from her fiancé.
“So Xenosa, I hear you have traveled to many places.”
“I have yes, I have met many on my –“
“Mother please, let us drop these ridiculous manners. We’re all very well aware that this is an arrangement.”
“You be polite to your mother.”
“Or what father? You’ve already done everything to ruin my life so far.” Xenosa glanced at Sythen, he could be so dramatic at times.
“Indeed, ruined your life and preserved the family reputation. You better uphold the family name boy, you will be married and have children.” Sythen stood up and walked away with a huff.
“Excuse me.” Xenosa stood up and followed after where she’d seen Sythen leave. She found him in a living room hugging a man about his age. Xenosa figured this was probably one of his siblings and left him to it.
She did not want to be here and so she left.
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Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2015 1:57 pm
What binds us pt. 1
Alone. Alone and surrounded by people she did not know. Xenosa watched them all scurry around in the mirror in front of her. A girl was doing her hair, yelling something at the woman who was supposed to do the makeup on her face. The woman kept tugging at her hair and Xenosa was quite ready to simply get up. Rip the dress off her body and leave. The others in the background were making sure things were prepared and she could just see her mother in law by the door throwing orders around. The petit woman could have such a strong voice sometimes.
Now she was making her way towards Xenosa with a smile on her lips, she placed both hands on her shoulders and smiled.
“Excited?” She asked.
“Nervous.”
“That’s normal; we all are on our big day.”
“I’m far more worried about how the rest of my life will be than this event. This is meaningless to me.”
“Oh sweetheart, don’t take it like that. Arranged marriages happen all the time.”
“I think I would be old enough to make my own decisions.”
“Listen,” The older Orderite took the chair next to her. “I don’t know what your situation is, but I know that you do not have family present at your own wedding. Granted there have been more than enough rumors about that. Some suspect, but would never out right talk about who your family is. I do know that Aevah has given you power, fame, money, and everything one could ever ask for in exchange for favors. You’ve been very forth coming with your favors for her,” here she gave Xenosa a knowing look. “And this marriage is, trust me, a very large favor. We have given Aevah much and we pulled in every single one of those favors she owed us for this.”
“What is this exactly?”
“None of your concerns worry about the present. Sythen is a charming young man and will make a wonderful father. You go on now, it’s time.”
Xenosa stood and peered at her reflection one last time in the mirror. The bodice she wore was an odd white cream color and was heavily decorated with silver and white beading. It was a magnificent full cup corset with an angled front. Under this the dress gathered around her hips horizontally and there was more beading here too. Below this the dress was elegantly pleated vertically. The back held an extravagant bustle made of the same cream silk and beading but with added white fabric. Her hair was up in an intricate hair do with braids.
Xenosa looked and felt glorious.
The moment however did not last as she was ushered in the halls of the cathedral and down the corridors until she was facing the large doors. Aevah had offered to walk her down the aisle; she was after all the closes family she had. However, it was not Aevah who met her by her side but Daenat. Xenosa wanted to cry out in joy and anger at her. She had not seen her mentor since the woman had relented all responsibilities to Aevah. Xenosa could not help herself; her hand flew and slapped Daenat across the face with such speed she had no time to react.
Daenat stumbled back in shock while the brides maids behind her gasped in shock.
“I hate you.”
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 7:18 am
What binds us pt. 2
The doors opened and as Daenat went to stand by her side once more, Xenosa glared at her stopping the mentor in her tracks. She had always been alone in this life. Her family had left her, Xenosa had no family. Daenat had abandoned her as well. Aevah was getting rid of her by marrying her off to some imbecile who probably didn’t even know what the outside of his home looked like. She was going to d this alone, she was used to walking alone and she was going to keep doing it because it made her stronger. Because it made her better than everyone.
The music began and she put on a smile and began to walk, ignoring all the eyes on her. However, she spotted Aevah at the back next to a woman she had not seen in a very long time. There sat her mother, looking at her with a calm expression as she watched her daughter walk down the aisle to marry a man she did not love. Daenat went to join them and sat down, whispering something to Aevah who chuckled and shook her head. Xenosa wanted t stare at the three people who had made her whole entire life a complete hell but turned to look forward.
Sythen stood there and reached for her hands when Xenosa drew near him, she gave them to him and the ceremony began. The feeling of wanting to smash things and throw a fit was growing each time the man doing the ceremony spoke. It was even worst when Sythen began to speak.
“I do.” She heard him say but all Xenosa could hear was her own heart beat as she stared blankly at him.
“I hate you.” She whispered softly.
“Speak up dear?” Said the old man as he waited to bind them together.
“I do.” Xenosa said a little louder to they could hear her. Then the impossible happened, Sythen bent down and kissed her right on the lips. He had never done such a thing before with her, were things perhaps finally looking up for her? He broke the kiss and smiled while he grabbed her hand and they began to walk back down the aisle, together forever.
Xenosa glanced at the spot where she had seen her mother sitting with Aevah and Daenat but found all seats were empty. She wanted to stop and see where they had gone by Sythen was pulling her along through the doors. It was time to celebrate and then they were going to have their wedding night. Butterflies began to grow in her stomach; maybe just maybe things would be okay. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been with a man before, but it would be the first time that she was with her husband. The person she was going to be spending the rest of her life with. What if she didn’t like it with him? His kiss had been soft and tamed… She wanted… More, more excitement.
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Posted: Sat Mar 21, 2015 8:18 am
suspicions
The sun was rising at this hour, Xenosa sat on her porch and watched it every morning since she`d gotten married. Her bed was empty, had always been empty and getting married had changed nothing. As it stood, their marriage had not been consummated which meant it could end at any point. Sythen had given up all pretenses while they lived in the same house and not even the presence of their housekeepers changed that. She would have thought that he might at least want to give their marriage a try, but he had made no effort and Xen had relented.
So, Xenosa had stopped caring and treated him as a houseguest. He was almost like a visiting relative at times. He would come and go at all hours of the day and was often gone on long trips to the country side or his work. Those were the times she enjoyed best, having the house to herself and not feeling the weight of his foul mood on her. Though his foul mood was usually related to how long he spent time in the house. He always returned to happy from his trips as if she was the worst thing that could ever happen to him.
This morning would be no different. Xenosa stood up an took her cup of coffee with her, sipping on it as she made her way out of the bedroom and headed downstairs where her husband would be stepping through at any moment. She could already hear all of the noise he was making and as she reached the bottom step the large doors to their estate swung open and in he came. He was not alone this time; his arm was draped over another man she had seen before. The one from his house which she`d thought was his brother.
“I would have appreciated if you’d told me that you were bringing family over Sythen.” He looked confused and then turned to the other man.
“This isn’t family, he’s a friend.” The man shoved Sythen off of him and advanced forward, bowing before Xenosa.
“I’m just a friend visiting; there really was no need to announce me.”
“I would still have –“
“Oh get over yourself Xenosa, Omard don’t bow to her. He’s going to be helping around the house, I don’t have to go out for work and I need a hand around here.”
“We have servants for that.”
“I’m allowed to do what I please and if I want a man friend in the house staying with me then that’s what is going to happen.” Xenosa starred at Sythen.
“If you ever speak to me on that tone ever again, I will make quick work of this marriage. Do you hear me?” Sythen waved a hand to dismiss her and Xenosa left them to go back up. She caught the arm of one of the servants and moved them aside.
“I want you to watch them and report to me what you find.” The servant ndoded and hurried off when Xen released them. She didn't know what was going on, but she was going to find out.
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