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 Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:18 pm
Jerry snorted as she began, shaking his head as he went back to furiously plucking away, as though he could articulate the music to suite his mood far easier than his words. "IT'S NOT JUST HER," He finally snapped, shoving the instrument down again as though that would do it, "It's everything. I don't know. Everyone changes. Things happen, things... things boil, p-people snap, he said my dad imploded, like I'd believe he wasn't just ******** around with me, but I wouldn't implode, I'll tell you that much!"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:02 pm
Candace sat back again as Jerry snapped, eyes widening a little. Were they finally getting somewhere? Nothing he told her told her this was complicated. He wasn't telling her the entire story. He wasn't...he wasn't communicating well enough! Why?! She slowly shook her head. "Everyone changes, even a little bit. Some people get more confident, some get less so. Some people have an epiphany and change completely in a drastically short time, some do it gradually. It..it happens." She frowned when Jerry said 'he'. Who was he?
"Who is 'he'? We've...never really talked about your parents before." What did they have to do with anything? All Candace knew was that Jerry was raised by his grandparents. She didn't think to question why, it wasn't something completely unheard of to be raised by other family members.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:05 pm
He snorted, hands trembling as he gently set the guitar aside more carefully. "Hunter Breeding Program ring a bell?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:31 pm
Hunter--oh! Right! Jerry's name had been on there... "So...your father was a hunter?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:56 pm
"Apparently." He fidgeted. He missed his ukulele. It was so much less cumbersome and he could pick more quietly. His fingers drummed on his knees.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:57 pm
"And who told you he imploded?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:59 pm
"Who do you think?" His expression spoke volumes.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:18 pm
Candace frowned again. "Lying isn't something he makes a habit of...exaggeration, perhaps..but not lying." But to say his father imploded..that was kind of cruel. "Would it help if you could find out more about your father, then?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:20 pm
"What difference does it make how some stranger behaved?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:36 pm
"You tell me." Candace shrugged. Jerry was the one who brought him up at all. "Closure? I don't know. I didn't bring up my father out of the blue when trying to explain my feelings just now. But so far to be honest I'm not hearing the complicated part of all this, just...you're..not being entirely clear to me. Are you holding back?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:50 pm
"I don't know who I am anymore." He murmured weakly, staring at his hands.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:56 pm
How...melodramatic of him. Candace frowned and moved, crawling across the couch until she was beside Jerry. She reached out and lightly tapped her fingers under his chin to lift his face to hers; last time she'd held his chin he had jerked away, this time she had learned what not to do. "Who do you want to be?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:04 pm
"Someone I'm not, I think," He sagged, hiding behind his mop of overgrown hair.
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:04 pm
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Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:19 pm
He set his jaw. "Roar wants me to be the Alpha Wolf, you know? He's always... pressing me. My Gran raised me to be... be an upstanding sort of guy. A decent citizen. Wholesome. Obey the Torah for the most part, get everything done, do my best to better the world in what ways I can... It used to be so easy to just... block all the bad things away but I can't, I can't any more and I just feel it all the time and I just want to be HAPPY but it's like..." He raised his hands to try to pull the words out of the air, but let them flop down again when he failed. "I'll never be enough. I'll never be good enough. Not even for just one woman. She said she didn't need saving, that I was trying to change her but she was trying to change me too. I don't know."
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