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 Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:00 pm
"I've worked with Xiu before. She taught me to become lucid... which has helped before but these dreams are beyond my control. I'm just trapped. I asked too much of her already," Shun sighed, ignoring Lizzy's hand as he started to walk towards the door. He was still looking a bit unsteady.
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:07 pm
"Beyond your control. Not beyond her control," Lizzy pointed out, walking after Shun, her frown deepening as she held his arm to hold him steady, "If you don't tell her, I will, and she's probably going to be upset at you for not asking her for help."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:09 pm
"They're reoccurring. She might be able to help me once but it's not going to do any good for the next time I need to sleep," Shun frowned before looking as she grabbed a hold of him.
"I've troubled her too many times over dream related issues... I'm sure she has other things to worry about."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:13 pm
"Once is better than none," She retorted, not convinced by Shun's argument, "Let Xiu decide if you've troubled her too many times, or if she has other things to worry about. Don't decide it for her... Besides, if you collapse from lack of sleep, she's just going to worry about you anyway."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:15 pm
"The problem there is that she's too nice to say otherwise," Shun said quietly, "I would rather not make her feel that she's obliged to do anything."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:32 pm
"You're oddly thoughtful and considerate for a guy who didn't believe in the concept of friends a little over a year ago, and kept labeling himself as being a terrible person," She replied, unable to resist smiling, "Just go talk to her and ask her for help, alright? You'll upset her more by not asking."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:37 pm
"I still am," Shun said quietly, shifting in place, "And.. we'll see about asking her. Besides, I can keep a better eye on Mitsu while I'm still awake. She's been recovering slowly."
Thinking about her general condition caused a downward subtle shift in his features. He had been distracted momentarily when the topic was more about himself but now that wasn't quite the case here. Feeling the surge of pain in his chest, he just closed his eye and started to continue walking towards the stairs. Slowly.
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:52 pm
"Well, a year ago, we wouldn't be having this conversation," She answered, trying to support Shun as he walked; the fact that he was taller and heavier than her did not make it easy. Focused on the task at hand, she couldn't help but worry as they neared the flight of stairs; it was a long, long way down...
"You can keep a better eye on Mitsu while you're healthy and not on the verge of passing out... You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of someone else."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:56 pm
Coming up to the edge of the stairs, Shun stared down before taking a breath. At least going down was always easier than going up. Even if it meant falling. Just to be sure, he grabbed a hold of the railing and started to make his way down.
"It feels pointless though.."
While yes, he had felt bad in the past, it was never really anything like this. He didn't even have an appetite. Aside from the anger, there was just a great deal of sorrow.
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:08 pm
"That's why faith is important," Lizzy carefully placed a foot on the first step of the stairs leading down, "The more pointless a situation gets, the more faith you need. It's hard though... It gets tiring, especially when there are no results... But when there's nothing else, faith is the one thing people can't steal from you. Faith and the things you hold close to you."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:11 pm
"That isn't true. The things closest to you.. those can be taken away..." he said quietly, sounding distant as he spoke. Shun continued to go down the stairs slowly, but there were many steps ahead. It would take awhile to descend all the way.
"You can fight and wait as much as you want.. but it may never change the fact that those things may never return."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:15 pm
"Maybe the physical thing... Maybe. But not what's inside," She tapped on her chest with her free hand, since she was still holding onto Shun's arm, "Nobody said that emotions were always going to be positive... Do you regret it? Coming here, meeting all of us... People who turned the world you knew upside down."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:21 pm
"I think Mitsu's current condition is proof enough they can take away what's inside too..." Shun said in a tone that was barely above a whisper. Her feelings for him or anyone else just.. weren't there right now. And who knew if they would ever return?
"I.. I don't know. Maybe a few weeks ago I would say no but.. right now..? I've been beaten down. My body broken... and that didn't hurt as much. I've never felt so weak. So vulnerable.. And all for what? A girl who may as well have lost my heart."
The reaper shook a bit at that, but he soon took in a deep breath to keep himself in control.
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:36 pm
"They didn't take your feelings for her away," Lizzy was sure that made a difference somehow, "You know, I was really, really upset when I first heard that Riley was 'back from the dead'. Maybe we were too hasty when we declared her dead, but when I first saw her at prom? I thought that she should have remained dead. It was the first time I had a thought like that... I scared and hated myself for it."
She paused, looking uncomfortable as she moved her gaze to the steps, "Jericho asked about what I would do if Junko forgot about me... I said that my feelings for Junko will never change. I will always love her, but if she forgot about me, that's not the Junko I love anymore. It's a new Junko, and I will befriend her, and maybe... Just maybe, we will end up loving each other again as we make new memories-" No homo, "-but it won't be easy. It's never easy to lose someone, but still see them there physically..."
A sigh followed as she looked back up at the reaper, noticing the shaking - mainly because she was holding onto him, "I heard this saying somewhere. That sometimes, people cry not because they're weak, but because they've been strong for far too long. You need to loosen that bottle cap before the built-up of gas pops it open..."
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:47 pm
While they were descending, Shun was listening to what Lizzy had to say. And quite frankly, it wasn't making him feel that much better.
"And just as easily I could lose her for good, regardless if she's physically here. Just as easily... she could find someone else," he whispered. He had some difficulty saying that much.
Staring at the lower steps, he just shook his head at the demon. No. He refused. He would not cry. Especially not here. Not where he could be seen. As he controlled his breathing, he focused on getting down the stairs, shoving aside the pained thoughts to the best of his ability.
"I'd.. .rather not.. talk about this.."
The more they spoke of it, the more he cracks he could feel inside, on the verge of shattering.
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