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 Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:54 pm
"No, there's nothing to apologize for," he said softly, "I do wish I knew more of her than I do. I don't even know where her grave is."
Shaking his head as he walked along, he glanced over towards her. He knew that Mitsu's parents were longer around, and that her brother had been the one to care for her. Though, even he was missing in action at this point.
"Do.. you remember much of your parents?" he asked, "You don't have to answer that if you don't want to."
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:15 pm
"No, its okay." She shook her head smiling a little. There was no sadness, she could barely remember them for anything like that. "I...I really don't remember them all that much. If I didn't have pictures I wouldn't even be able to tell you what they looked like." She tried to think back on what she did remember though most of her memories circulated around a single night. "I remember them playing piano." She had told Desmond this before. "I would sit on my dad's lap and he would let me hit the keys within my reach." It had honestly....been a while since she had played the piano. During music class before and after winter break she just sat on a chair next to Kohaku and watched her play, her fingers just not up to the task.
"Most of my memories are of the night they died...and I didn't even get to see them. My brother and the police told me I couldn't." She hadn't understood at the time though her brother had reluctantly told her later that he had been told it was a mess that she didn't need to be haunted by. He hadn't given her any details but it was easy to put a picture in place. "That's the night I got Ludwig....he was supposed to be a birthday gift...since my birthday was the next day." Her voice was a little quieter but she didn't seem too bothered telling Shun the story.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:26 pm
Listening quietly as Mitsu explained her parents, it made sense why she was so in tuned with music and why she was so attached to her stuffed bear now. That aside, there was a darker thought lingering in the back of Shun's mind. The scenario she presented about her parents death... most likely he had done very much the same to some other child out there. He knew he's orphaned kids along with widowing women. And yet, that knowledge really didn't bother him.
What did, was that he wanted to be angry and whoever had done this to her. But... he really had no right to be, not with what he's done and will continue to do. It would make him a rather large hypocrite.
"I see," he said after a bit of silence, "I'm.. sorry that had to happen to you.. though it is probably best that your brother shielded you from their bodies.. A young child shouldn't have to witness such things yet."
But he had. And look how he turned out now.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:50 pm
"I guess," Mitsu nodded slightly. "I never did find out what happened. My brother only told me there was an accident." Normally she would smile and follow up that she at least had her brother....but she didn't have that anymore. It made her wonder...where she would go when summer came. For now she was allowed to stay at the campus but she wouldn't be able to stay there all summer. She had no other relatives so her only real option was to go back to the house and figure out how to maintain her home. T...there would be bills of some sort she imagined. Ginji had always taken care of that stuff so she only vaguely knew what to do.
"So what was it like for you growing up?" She asked curiously.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 6:58 pm
An accident? Shun furrowed his brow at the thought. Though, he supposed it was possible it could have been a car accident if the bodies were maimed. But why hide that much from her? He suspected foul play, but that may partially be due to his own nature.
"It was... rough," he said a little hesitantly while trying to think of how much he should tell her here but his eyes soon narrowed once more, "If there's anything my father and I have in common... it's that we hate one another and that we're both ruthless. Those things in me are because of him... he never showed me any sort of compassion and was very strict on... training me. I doubt he really saw me as his son or even a person for that matter. I grew up in a world of violence and death..."
Looking back at her with a slightly softer expression, he let out a sigh, deciding to elaborate a little more, "Many of the scars on my body are related to him. He might not have personally caused some of them, but he has had a hand in them one way or another."
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:12 pm
"Violence...and death?" She questioned with wide eyes, not sure what to make of what Shun was telling her. The scars were a vivid memory she had of what Shun looked like and she probably would have blushed if the over all conversation wasn't steered in that direction. Reluctantly, a question formed but before she could really stop it flowed off her tongue. "Shun....what does your father do for a living?"
Why would he be so strict in training Shun? And what was he training Shun for? Why would he hurt his son and leave him so badly scarred in the end? There were so many things circling around her mind the fear of having climbed the cliff side was long gone and she steps began to slow.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 7:22 pm
At that question, Shun paused in his steps as his mind raced to try and figure out how to respond. He didn't know if he should tell her, or how she would react. But, with everything he had said already, she could probably figure it out herself. With a sigh, he closed his eyes briefly before looking at her with a small hint of sadness in them. It was about time she learned he supposed.
"There's a reason why I say I'm a horrible person, or why I say there isn't really much I regret anymore," he said quietly, "My father.. is the godfather of the Yakuza in the area here. The reason why he doesn't see me as a person... is likely because he sees me more as a tool or asset to the 'family'. When I said I grew up around violence and death.. I wasn't exaggerating. I've... killed many people; most which weren't for my own defense."
Glancing away, he let out a sigh, "This.. is also why I say I don't have a heart. It's certainly how many people see me at this point. And.. if you do now as well, I'd completely understand."
"I'd also... understand if you want nothing more to do with me after knowing what I am," he added, though it... hurt to say so. Strange how saying something could cause pain, but there it was. Shun just didn't know why.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:13 pm
Mitsu came to a dead halt, her already big eyes so wide they looked like they threatened to pop out of her head. "T...that can't be true, Shun." Though it made sense didn't it? The scars, the unhappy childhood....his mother. "Y...you're so kind to me I can't believe that ....you would hurt people without a reason."
She hadn't anticipated learning anything like this as she took a step closer, her hand reaching out for his jacket sleeve. "Tell me its not true. Tell me your lying or its some sort of joke." She pleaded, those tears starting to gather in her eyes again. "Please tell me you're not like him..." Her last statement was barely audible, but it held her greatest fear after just learning what she had. That Shun was like Suto and enjoyed seeing people suffer. She didn't know if she could bare that.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 8:31 pm
It took him awhile but Shun eventually looked back into her eyes, seeing the tears welling up in them. His expression softened and he wanted to tell her it was all a lie, but.. he couldn't.
"I don't take pleasure in what I do or what I've done... but I don't feel guilt either. I do them simply because it's what I'm told to do. I.. receive the order and I carry it out.. I wish I could say this was a lie," he said quietly before slowly placing a hand onto her shoulder, "You... your'e one of the only things in this world that shows me I still have some humanity left in me... And you're possibly the only one to ever see that part of me... but in the end I'm.. really not much more than a monster."
Letting his hand drop from his shoulder, he stared towards the ground. He was certain she'd want nothing to do with him at this point. And that thought... kind of devestated him.
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:24 pm
While his words were a slight relief it did little to ease the shock of what Mitsu had just learned. It was hard to place Shun into the picture of the killer...and yet it was surprisingly easy as well. Hadn't she known in a way all along? Mitsu had just ignored the signs against her better judgment. His colder personality (though not to much when she was around), the ease he had shown in taking a life when the restaurant had been attacked, his house full of weapons....it struck her....how little she really knew and understood.
"Y..you're not," She shook her head, her mind still unwilling to cooperate with the idea. "You're not a monster...." She wasn't sure what to do or what to say, her mind was reeling at this point. "A monster wouldn't have helped me...or saved me. A monster wouldn't have tried so hard to cheer me up." The tears were flowing now, her mind still in denial. "A monster wouldn't have spent time with me or bought me a music box that sings me to sleep each night. A monster wouldn't have done any of that...."
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Posted: Fri Jan 14, 2011 9:42 pm
Her initial silence began to cement his assumption to how she felt, but he glanced back at her as she began to speak once more. Shun's eyes softened as she denied what he had said about himself. He was somewhat surprised about the bit regarding the music box.... he didn't know that lulled her to sleep at night. It gave him a rather small bit of warmth but didn't overpower anything else at the moment. A part of him wished he could deny all of that but.. he wasn't sure how he couldn't be considered a monster at this point.
There were the tears again. Twice in one day had he made her cry now.
"You've managed to bring out what little humanity I have left... and you've really have been one of my only true sources of joy.. ever," he said quietly while bringing a hand up to try and wipe away some of her tears, "But.. even with that in mind, you can't deny that I'm at least a killer or murderer."
"I... don't really know what else to say on the matter.. but now you know why I am who I am," he said while turning from her again, taking a few steps away, "And like I said... if you decide you'd rather not be around someone like that... I... completely understand.."
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 3:59 pm
Mitsu shook her head as Shun turned away. Why did he keep saying that? Giving her an option out when it was the cruelest option there was. Slowly Mitsu stepped forward her hands coming up around his sides as she hugged him close. "Why? Why do you keep saying that?" Her voice was hard to understand as it cracked from her trying to control her crying.
"How could I turn away...when you didn't turn away from me?" Despite the fact that she had hurt him, attacked him, he had forgiven her and told her not to worry about it like it was no big deal. "You've accepted me, protected me, forgiven me, helped me, made me smile when I didn't think I could, and never asked for a thing in return but to see me happy." Her grip tightened a bit as she pressed her forehead into his back. "I feel like I've used and abused your friendship and kindness and still you give me more."
She shook her head again giving a sniffle, this confession much more in depth than she imagined it would be. It had been something that had been weighing on her heart and she didn't even realize until she had started to speak. He had put up with her bout of depression, did his best to console her, and while he wasn't pleased that Desmond was around he tolerated it for her. "No matter what you think of yourself...you're still my very dear friend, Shun. I...It may be selfish of me but I don't want to let you go...even knowing what I do now."
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:19 pm
Shun stopped as Mitsu came up from behind to hug him tightly. Closing his eyes, he felt something well inside of him. It was something he had felt before but he didn't know what it was. Her words surprised him somewhat, and he didn't really understand how she could still say such things even with the knowledge she had now when most would probably not want to deal a killer. Then again, this was also the very girl who had forgiven the man that had crushed her heart less than half a year ago. He didn't understand how she could do that either for that matter.
Opening his eyes slowly, he gently placed his hands over her arms. There was a bit of a distant look in him as he thought things over, but his over all expression was a rather soft one.
"I... don't want to let go either to be honest. But I didn't want to force my presence around you if you didn't want it..." he said softly, "Being around you.. stirs strange things inside of me. I'm.. not really sure what it is exactly, but I think they're good feelings.. and I don't think I'd want them to go away."
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 4:49 pm
"You're not forcing your presence on me." Mitsu gripped his jacket as he placed his hands over hers not willing to let go. His words seemed to strike a chord with her though she was just as confused as Shun was about it. She wanted with all her heart to see him happy but Desmond was settling back into her life. There was love for them both but it was different types of love Mitsu had finally figured out. It was just sorting out what kind of love they both were.
"I never really had friends until I came to this school." Mitsu said softly. "I don't entirely know how I feel anymore though I'm slowly figuring it out. What I do know is that I care about you and I want to see you happy. Because of that I will never turn away..." Loyalty to a fault. It was a canine instinct she just couldn't fight and really didn't want to.
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 5:00 pm
Carefully, Shun tried to pull her hands away, but only so he could turn around to face her. If she were to look, she'd see a soft smile resting on his face.
"Thank you Mitsu.." he said while lightly placing his own arms around her, "I.. don't know if it's really possible for me to be completely happy but... I get the feeling I can get close to it around you. Maybe that'll get better once I can figure out what it is I feel."
"Regardless of the exact things there.. I know that I care greatly for you too. I.. hope I can make you happy somehow."
For as far as he knew, the only reason she was happier now than before was because Desmond was back in the picture.
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