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 Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:53 pm
So ladies, if the butt is round, and you want a triple X throw down "Though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an a**."
This is Dat a**. He is an a** man. His parents are that What What In The Butt guy (Samwell) and Ms. New Booty, and his siblings are all starring in vodka commercials. He likes the booty. Generally, he's a smoov sort and is the best wingman you could possibly ask for. He is looking for booty right now. His favorite qualities in another d**k are the butt, the rump, and their ability to dance- no seriously, he lives for dancing. He talks in #686670. Dial 1-900-MIXALOT and kick them nasty thoughts
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:08 pm
So keep right to the end; you'll find your goal my friend "God be praised, we have a quest!"
This is Grenadier. She is a normal lady and one hell of a little spitfire. Her parents are a bar wench and undead, and her siblings are tragically lost and she has to quest to find them except for her half-brothers, one of who is the biggest a*****e she's ever met, but he's still family, right? and then the other one who's mostly ok if kind of cold and a little too stoic at times. She likes fighting, questing, and looting the bodies. Generally, she's a hotheaded sort and will always fight for you. She is not looking for sex right now. Her favorite qualities in another d**k are courage, loyalty, and their ability to pick locks. She talks in #cd2903. Find your grail! You won't fail! Find your grail!
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Posted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 9:36 pm
I wanna know what love is "As Hilda's buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a d**k aneurysm."
"
This is The Fading Sound of Galloping Abs. He is a chub. His parents are Greg Sestero and Harlequin Romance Novels, and his siblings are absolutely scandalous. He likes Barry White, candlelight dinners, and d**k attacks. Generally, he's a romantic sort and will seduce you so hard. He is sex. His favorite qualities in another d**k are buttermilk breasts, warm snooches, and windows he can jump out of. He talks in #d73d16. I want you to show me
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Posted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 12:57 pm
I'm tickled pink that things are rosy "I say, anyone have hot pants for a game of shuffleboard?"
This is Hob Nob. He is a fwuffball. His parents are dryer lint and a magic marker, and his siblings are used to remove makeup. He likes candy, engraved pint glasses, and jazz music. Generally, he's a softhearted sort and never forgets birthdays. He is looking for sex right now. His favorite qualities in another d**k are a nice laugh, a song in their heart, and the amount of Disney musicals they're willing to watch. He talks in #803156. And skies are blue once again
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 2:06 am
Let's have a party there's a full moon in the sky "So have a toast and down the cup and drink to bones that turn to dust!"
This is Dead Man's Party. He is a long d**k. His parents are Danny Elfman and performance art, and his siblings were all generated by the computer in Weird Science. He likes Doritos, nostalgic soda, and ska. Generally, he's a manic new wave sort and will help you throw the best Halloween party ever. He is looking for sex right now. His favorite qualities in another d**k are radicalness, porkpie hats, and spooky scary skeletons. He talks in #6e5465. It's the hour of the wolf and I don't wanna die
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 2:14 am
Crawling in my skin. These wounds they will not heal. "And that's why you don't use a one-armed person to scare someone!"
This is Priapus. He is an abomination. His parents are Questionable Content and Blood-Tide Blowjobs, and his sibling is Janus. He likes shoes, strawberries, and not being reminded that he's a freak of nature with a fifth leg. Generally, he's a self-effacing sort and will knit you a sock if it means you'll stop making fun of him. He is looking for sex right now and would prefer to keep it in the family. His favorite qualities in another d**k are blindness, being blood type A-, and a sense of humor. He talks in gray. Fear is how I fall. Confusing what is real.
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 3:03 am
frumball extreme potato counter "aisha vending machine"
This is Fountain Fairy Quest. She is a derpens. Her parents are the tombola machine and neopoints, and her siblings are shoyru. She likes Maraqua, Soup Faerie, and Darigan. Generally, she's a petpetpet sort and gormball. [this sentence removed for using a naughty word] Her favorite qualities in another d**k are asparagus, Bruce, and Lenny. She talks in #4b0b61. snowager usul giant omelet
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 3:12 am
w͜͞h̵͘͜ą͜҉̷t͜͡͞ ̡̕í̶͏s̀͟͞͡ ̨t̶̨̛̀h̷̴͘͠a̢̨͟t̵͞ "e͏҉́́y͢͠҉҉e̛͢s͏ ̡͡͏̶d̡͡ǫ̴̷̕ ̀́n͠͡ò̀̕͜͢t̶̕͘͝ ̷̨̨b̵̀̀͟e̡̧͟l̵̶̡͠͞ó͘͠n̛͘͡g̡̧̀͠͡ ̵̶̶̡̢t̴̢͟͟͡h̴̵e̶҉̷̢r̢̛e̶͞͡
̀͢͟͏"
This is C̷͏h͜͟͏úb̵̡̀̕̕-̵̶́Ņ́̀͠i̛͢͢͡͠g͡͏̀̕g̡u̶̴͟͡r͏̡̛͞a̶͠t҉͞h̷̴͝͡. He is a d̢̢́͘͞e̵̛͘͢ŗ́͘p͏͏̵͘͢e̶̛͜͞n̸̢̛͡ś̴̡͢. His parents are t̀̀͢h̡́͟͞e̵͘҉̕ ̸̧́́͞e̕͠n̷̢d̵͜͝ ̷̡̕͝o̧̕҉f̛͞ ̸̡͟͠d̨̕͘͠á͜͜͡͞y҉̕s̴̛͜͝͝, and his siblings are h҉̶͞o̡͜͏̛̀ŗ̕͟ŗ͏i̷̕͝b̷͘͠͞l̴̴̛͝ę̕҉ ́͏a͠҉̴͟b̶̵́҉ǫ̴͟͡m̨͝i͠҉́n̴͠a̵̛t҉i̢̛͟͝o͢͝͠n̵̛͡͝͠s̴̸̵̡. He likes d҉̴é̕͞͝s͝͠t̴͡r͘͢͢҉͜o̷y̴͘͘͝į̛̕͞n̕͜g̨͠͡͡ ̵̷̕͜a̶̢͟ĺ̡̧͢͝l̶̨̀̀ ҉̧̢y̧̧ǫ͠u̷͜͜͞ ̶̛̀͜h̸͢͞o̶͢͡ļ̕d̴̡͝ ҉̴̕͟͡d͏̷̧͏̶e̛͠a̢͟r̡͟͜͏,͘͢ ͜҉́҉p̶̡̀́ļ̴͘͠a̴̛y͏͏̷̧̀i̴̸̧͡n̷͞g̴̛͠͝҉ ̧͜c̢̀̕a̵̡n̵͟d̨͠ý̵͜ ̕c̀҉̧̢r̡̢͏҉̶u̴͡s̶͜͡͝͡h̴̵̴̸͝ ̵̡̛̀s̸̢̡a̡͝g͏̴̨̛a͟͞, and
u҉͜͢͠͞s̴͜ì̸̡̕͞n̵̶̡͢g͝͝͞͞ ̛͘͢͢͝y͢҉ò̡͢ư͘͝r̀̀ ̀̕m̡̧̛͟͞o̡̕͢͟͠m̡͜͝͡'̧͘͠s̡͠ ̸͞c̀ŗ͜e̡͟͡d̸̛̀i̵̧͘͟͝t̵̵̨̨͟ ͏҉͝͏҉c̡̀͡͏a̡͟r̶̴̀́͜d̛͢͠ ̡̨͟͡ţ̕͜o͏̶̸̀͝ ̷b̴̵͞͠u̧̕͟͟͠y̴̸͝ ̷̸͟͡Ŗu͜͝͏̶ǹ̢͡e̴͝ś͠͏̷c͟҉̵̕a̸̶̸҉͘p̷̵̀͟͡è̴ ̨҉p̷̛҉o̴̕͟w͏̡́́͘è̶̢̢͝r͠҉̨̕u͠͏̛͠p͘s̕̕͏. Generally, he's an e҉́͟l̴̢̛͘͝d̵̢r͏͟͞͝i̸̷̢̛͘t̵̡́͜c͜͡͡͝h̶͟͞ sort and w̛̕͜͞i̷̸̛҉l̷͝l̸̵̕̕͝ ̛d̴̨̨͘͜ę̵̶v̛͞o̶͟u̶͢͜r̶̢ ͜y̴̵o͝͏͘͡u͏̢͢͢͡ ̶̨͞w̸̡̢h̶̵̢̛͢ǫ̸l̶͜͠e̵̛. He is not looking for sex right now. His favorite qualities in another d**k are ų̵̧̨̕n̢̕͢s̕͟͞p̕͜͝͞e̵̢a̧͢͠k̨̡҉̷a͝b̸̛̕͝͞l̴̛e҉̀͟͞,̡͟͠͏ ̶̀i̶͘ǹ̡͡҉̛c̛͝ò̷̕͟͠m̕p̷̧͘͝ŕ̢͢͟è̴́͢ḩ͘͘͝e̷̢҉̷ń̷̛̀͝ş͜͡i҉̴̕b̕͠l̵͢͞é̴̡́, and ų͢n҉̧n҉̧͢a͏̢͜t̸̢͢҉̧u̷ŕ̶̛͟a̴͜͜ĺ͠҉̛͜. He talks in b͢҉̸́͢ĺ͠a̷̡̕͘c҉͘͡k҉̸̴.̵͡ Ì̸͞T̸̕̕'͠͡҉̀Ş͝͞ ̨͟͟͠͡E̷̵À̀T̴̵̵̢͏I̴͜͡͡͡N̶̸̛͟͜G̢̀҉̢ ̸͞M̵͘͢Y͡ ̸̵̧́M̡͝E͜͢͡N̴!͢͝͡͡ ̡I҉̴̶͟Ţ̡̨͟'̴͘S̷̀̕ ̡͝E̕̕͢͝҉Ą̴̸͜҉T͞͞Į̶̛͠͝N͏̸̨́͞G̸͏̢ ̴̡́͝͠E҉̡̀͏V̧͝È̷͟R̨͞҉̧Y͠O̸̸̶̧͝N͝҉͞E̵̢͡!̨͘
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Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2014 3:17 am
Zankoku na tenshi no you ni "why am i alive"
This is Schipperke. She is a second-generation derpens, holy s**t. Her parents are shirt and Jim and the Holograms, and her siblings are stillborn- all seventeen of 'em! She likes naval gazing, navel gazing, and navel oranges. Generally, she's a sock sort and a bloo bloo bloo. She is not looking for sex right now. Her favorite qualities in another d**k are tangelo, grappling hook, and power cords. She talks in orange. Mushō nihonjin naze jigokude wanainode
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2014 4:43 pm
nothing but silence "..."
This is Kismet. She is eternal. Her parents are eternal, and her siblings are also eternal. She likes pondering the infinite, lucid dreams, and daytime television. Generally, she's an inexplicable sort and exists outside of your scrutiny. She is looking for sex right now, but fair warning: it might actually kill you. She has no favorite qualities in other dicks because that would require her to comprehend others. She talks in indigo. silence and twinkling
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2014 4:47 pm
She's just the way I want her to be "Picking up no strangers, Susan. I said that when we left Denver, and I'm sticking with it. Especially a man carrying a gun!"
This is Tsar Bomba. She is a curvy pinup gal. Her parents are a chickadee and a chipmunk, and her siblings don't exist. She likes bobby socks, doo wop, and chemistry. Generally, she's a giggly sort and will ask you to the Sadie Hawkins dance. She is looking for sex right now. Her favorite qualities in another d**k are two lips like roses in clover, lots of wavy hair like Liberaci, and a heart like Pagliacci. She talks in #db4e37. A million times hotter than TNT
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Posted: Sun May 18, 2014 4:53 pm
We are one. We are many. "Absolutely Disgusting"
This is a nice grandma. She is a nice fairy. Her parents are a nice great grandma and a nice great grandpa, and her siblings are nice great aunts and great uncles. She likes nice grandchildren, nice hard candies, and nice kisses. Generally, she's a nice sort and will help you bake cookies. She is not looking for sex right now. Her favorite qualities in another d**k are a nice smile, a nice smell, and a nice soul. She talks in brown. squirm crawl slither writhe today we rise"
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Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 4:44 pm
Sometimes people leave you halfway through the wood "Shimmer and glimmer, little tree, silver and gold throw down on me. I'm off to get my wish!"
This is Princess Princess. She is a royal pain actually not really she's pretty nice if a little naive. Her parents are Puck and Princess Awesome Snowflaik, and her siblings are Princess Glitoris, Glinda, and Heart Eyes. She likes cupcakes, singing about finding her one true love, and ponies. Generally, she's a kindly sort and will help you clean anything. She is looking for her one true love! Her favorite qualities in another d**k are their ability to waltz, their ability to hold their part up in a duet, and how much they believe in themselves. She talks in pink. Others may deceive you;
you decide what's good.
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Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 6:24 pm
Through the darkness of future past, the magician longs to see.
"We will see you again."
This is Indrid Cold, yes, that's a good Earth name. She is a completely normal, nothing-creepy-about-her-at-all dickens. Her parents are Bob and Mary McLastname, and her siblings are gaps in the government's records. She likes baseball, apple pies, and cigars. Generally, she's a curious sort and wishes you no harm, only happiness. She is not looking for sex right now. Her favorite qualities in another d**k are fearlessness, a sense of adventure, and courteousness. She talks in #7e7897. "One chants out between two worlds:
Fire walk with me."
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Posted: Sun Nov 16, 2014 8:02 pm
Don't worry, I'm not going to nail you to a cross like the rest of those degenerates. "Legionnaires, we have a problem!"
This is Pinus Erectus. He is a lean, mean killer diller. His parents are Mars and either a she-wolf or a prostitute, depending on who you believe, and his siblings are loyal footsoldiers of Caesar. He likes nailing people to crosses, giant hats, and generally being sneaky. Generally, he's an incredibly loyal and actually pretty friendly sort- IF you've earned it, and you probably haven't- and will foil an assassination plot if you're worth it. He is looking for sex right now, but fair warning: he's only interested in men. His favorite qualities in another d**k are virtue- whatever that means-, the size of their hat, and whether or not they're willing to stop for Noble Romans on the way home. He talks in Indian Red. Whenever the opportunity presents, strike at the Profligates. Pile body upon body.
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