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 Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:39 pm
"So..." Sonnet replied as the last of the mess got cleaned up and thrown out. She took in a deep breath. No one was here. It was now or frikkin never. She flopped onto the couch, defeated.
"Deskri...can...I tell you something? I...really need to talk to someone about it...it's been bothering me for a...really long time..." she forced herself to say. Time to be the big girl. Time to be brave.
She just had to keep telling herself that.
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:42 pm
To be honest, he didn't like the sound of that. Something that had been bothering her? For a really love time? This couldn't be good, especially since he hadn't noticed it. He sat down on the floor in front of the couch and looked at her with an expression that said he was putting up a brave face but was preparing for the worst news in the world. "Go ahead, I'm all ears." He gave her a twitchy smile, a telltale sign that he was nervous.
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 9:55 pm
Sonnet took in a deep breath. He was willing to listen, now she just had to say it.
And because it helped it be less nervous, she made it sound like a story.
"Well, once upon a time, just a few days after I was created and taken home by Mizu, I went to my first Halloween ball. Even though I was a kid, I developed a small crush on a boy I met there. He was cute in a sort of grumpy way, and I never really thought anything of it. We were kids. Kids develop small crushes." She laughed for a moment before continuing.
"We soon discovered that we had something in common. Something sinister and frightening, and even with the school closing down, we kept in touch, became each other's shoulder to cry on, and very slowly, I began to fall in love with him..."
"The first time I felt my heart break was the day...he basically told me he was gay. It was going to be the day I confessed that I had started falling for him, but because of that new information, I kept that hidden from him. I loved him too much to say anything. I just wanted him to be happy, and it was obvious that I wasn't going to be the person who would do that."
"He and I have been through a lot together, and my feelings for him haven't vanished, even though there were times I wish that they had so that I wouldn't have to feel this...this hurt anymore...but I can't help it...I can't help but loving him, and I'm pretty sure I won't ever be able to not love him...no matter how hard I try..."
She had stopped looking at him about halfway through. She couldn't bare to see the look on his face as she, as she was sure she was, crushed their friendship. She just waited now, waiting for a reaction.
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:07 pm
Deskri sat and listened, just as he said he would. The more she spoke, the more he realized, and the more terrible he felt. How could he have no noticed? He'd been beyond selfish this entire time, and Sonnet had suffered for it. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Nothing was really going through his head, either.
He just knew he felt terrible, and that he had to make it better some how. He pushed himself up and moved over to the couch where she sat. Without a word he wrapped his arms around her and laid his head on her shoulder again. He couldn't really think of anything to say that sounded appropriate. The tiny bud of emotion that the kiss had sparked was still too new for him to commit to anything immediately, and so he didn't want to bring her hopes up, only to shoot her down for the billionth time.
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:15 pm
Nothing. He was saying nothing. Not even an 'oh' or an 'I see' and that made her worry. Sure, he was hugging her, that was something right?
But still, she had really been hoping for a verbal responce.
Could he not say anything? Was he mad, upset, anything? This whole thing was slowly driving her mad, not knowing what his thoughts were about this. After a few more moments she sighed, trying to keep tears from flowing.
"I-I p-prob-bably sh-shouldn't s-stay h-here anym-more. I d-don't w-wanna m-make th-things anym-more awk-kward," she stammered out, forcing herself not to cry, but it was a loosing battle.
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:21 pm
He shook his head, as best as he could with it on her shoulder. "Don't go, stay here please?" He tightened his grip. "I know I should say something but I don't know what to say, nothing I can think of feels right." He didn't bother look at her, if he did he was sure he'd join her in a sob fest. "Besides, if you leave now things will be more awkward than if you stay."
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:34 pm
Sonnet only nodded, leaning into Deskri, and ever so slowly she began to calm down.
Sure, things were awkward, but, him wanting her to stay instead of just letting her go, that was enough for her to regain a little bit of hope that their friendship wasn't ruined just yet,
She could slowly feel sleep creeping up on her, but she did not move. Instead she moved one of her hands to grip one of Deskri's lightly.
"I'm so sorry Deskri...I know this is the last thing you needed dumped on you..."
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Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2010 10:39 pm
"No, it's fine. I'm just... sorry I've been too stupid to notice." He patted her back a little. "I mean..." he started, and then stopped, wondering if it was really the greatest idea to share with her that he had actually liked the kiss more than anything else. "I'm not... entirely gay like I thought I was." Well, that wasn't what he was going to say in the first place, but it had about the same effect... right? "I didn't exactly say anything, but Raz and I discovered some things...while he was a girl........" He trailed off. "So I'm not all gay like I thought I was, so that kiss was actually nice and I'm just going to shut up again."
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 10:56 am
"Hm?" The sleepyness had vanished with what Deskri had said. Sure, she sort of figured Rasiel had gone on a sort of 'prove to me you love me as a woman in case I'm stuck like this' sort of rampage, but she always figured that Rasiel would have been the ONLY acception to the girl rule.
"Really?" She was still rather flabbergasted by the whole thing he said. Maybe he was just saying that to make her feel better...
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 10:59 am
"yes, really." Deskri nodded a little. "I mean, I don't find most girls more than.. nice to look at but...." He trailed off again. Saying that there were two he'd be more than interested in looking at seemed odd since Rasiel was technically male. "I guess you could say there are at least two "girls" that made it past the gay barrier." He attempted to make a bit of a laugh, which turned into just a puff of air leaving his throat.
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:12 am
At that, Sonnet could feel that sort of fluttery feeling inside her chest, one she had felt so many times before, but unlike those other situations, there seemed to be...a chance that he might be feeling the same way.
But then there was the whole thing with Rasiel. It had only been a month, but then again a month could change a meta from a child to an adult, so really, what was the proper length to wait for healing. Even she wasn't so sure,
She smiled and leaned her head against his. She could wait a bit longer. She had been waiting for years, so just a few months she could stand.
"Well, thank you for a very nice first kiss anyway Deskri," she said with a smile and a sigh, closing her eyes.
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:20 am
"I'd say that was a pretty lame kiss on my part, I could've done better." He shrugged a little. "I'm sorry your first kiss had to be in front of everyone though. That was a d**k move of Hayden." He sighed, he figured Cedric had been in on it too since he had Hayden had been snickering evilly the whole time they were eating, but he wasn't about to bad mouth Sonnet's siblings to Sonnet's face. That was just asking for trouble.
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:30 am
Sonnet gave Deskri a quizzical look. Oh he was just asking for it now.
"Well Cedric was no help. Hopefully a left a welt on him at least. Popped him good in the arm twice," she laughed before adopting a slightly sly look on her face.
"And I don't know what your talking about. It was very nice. I highly doubt you could do better," she teased.
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:34 am
"Good. I'll have to get Hayden back later.... He won't know what happened." A grin cracked across his face. Since he'd managed to somewhat master his new powers he was definitely going to have fun messing with Hayden. "I can too! I could offer you a demonstration, but you sound pretty kissed out for today." He made a face in response to her comment.
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Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2010 11:40 am
"Oh, is that so?" Sonnet querried with a tilt of her head before she smiled again. "I'm so sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I'd love to be a part of this demonstration, and because I was so rude as to give you mixed signals, I'll help you start," she said slyly as she turned a bit.
And again she kissed him, like before, only not because she was obligated to, but because she wanted to, and she now knew Deskri wouldn't hate her if she did.
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