 Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 5:43 am
"It's not enough to know your limits..
He put her down on the armchair and proceeded to the other room. When he came back he had in his hands another cup of steaming coffee. “Here,” he said as he handed it to her. He pulled up another plush chair and sat down facing her.
The coffee relaxed and warmed her. It was already chilly outside and she still wasn’t armed for it, and she was thankful for the warm drink and the even warmer welcome. For a moment she stopped and traced her fingers on the mug. The texture was familiar and when she looked down she found that it was her mug, her white mug with the sketchy yellow flower on one side. This made her stop and the color went rushing back to her cheeks.
He still keeps my things even though I tell him not to.
She looked up at him and saw that he was smiling while watching her. She dove back into the cup and tried to gulp down as much of it as she could to escape having to look at him.
“When you’re done there we’ll have story time with Odin, okay?” he said, still smiling sweetly.
She nearly choked on her drink and with every ounce of her patience stopped herself from throwing the mug at his head.
“What the hell?! You’re doing it again! Stop treating me like a child! I am nearly as old as you! What gives you the right to--”
But her outburst ceased when he got up from his chair and put a hand on her head. “Don’t work yourself up so much,” he said still smiling. Sometimes she wonders how long his patience is. In the two years she’s known him, Joshua had never once raised his voice at her or scolded her. At the most it was always a sigh of exasperation, a short sermon (if you could call it that) and a gentle pat on the head and everything would be as it is. He would never make her promise not to do it again, but he would keep telling her that whatever she decided to do she had to live with.
She tugged at her scarf and turned away from him, if she could she would have gladly sunk into the chair than meet his eyes. Then he stepped back his hand trailing on one end of her scarf.
“Where’d this thing come from?” he said scrutinizing it in his fingers. Sure it wasn’t the nicest of things, but she liked it even though it did seem old when she bought it.
“I got it on discount a few days ago, it was getting cold,” she replied tugging the piece of cloth back.
He sighed and put his hands on his hips, he looked slightly annoyed by it although Odin could not see why. She looked down at the cloth, of course it was a little damaged and torn at the ends but that came with use. It didn’t smell bad and it was still usable.
“Take it off.”
“What? Why? It’s perfectly fine as it is.”
“Just.. take it off please,” he said going back into the hallway.
She hesitantly pulled off the worn out thing and draped it on the chair’s arm and resumed her drink. When she looked up Joshua was back and he had a hand behind his back.
“What’s wrong now?” she said eying him testily.
When he got closer Joshua pulled out from behind him a long blue scarf. Before she could protest he came up to her and draped it around her shoulders and secured it at her neck. She pretended not to notice when he had lightly and gently placed his lips on her hair before pulling back and crossing his arms on his chest to inspect his work.
“There, better,” he beamed looking thoroughly pleased with himself. He got back to his seat and said, “Now, tell me what you came here for.”
She put down her mug and ran a hand down her new scarf before looking up at him solemnly.
“I’m going to join the War,” she said as quickly and evenly as she could and stared down at her feet awaiting his response.
There was a moment of silence and she was not sure whether she would see him seething with anger for the first time or would witness him trying to talk her out of it (which would also be a first for her). Surprisingly, she did not hear another one of his sighs of exasperation or disapproval but when she looked up he also had a solemn expression.
“Is that what you’ve really chosen?” he said flatly, though she could not detect any emotion in it, she couldn’t hear any anger or distaste from it either.
“Yes, and I plan to go through with it. I know that war is a serious thing. I know it’s dangerous, but I’m sure. I want to fight.” She could have added and to do whatever it takes to make it safer for you, that would be the best thanks I could give you but she couldn’t bring herself to say it.
“Then I won’t stop you,” he replied and his expression was easing up slightly. Sometimes she hated it when he got quiet like this. Not that Joshua was talkative, just that she hated the rare instances when he got too quiet. It made her feel that he disapproved even when he didn’t say it straight out.
“Do I have to ask which side you joined?” he added smiling slightly, his eyes not leaving the fire.
“I’m siding with Benevolent Order. You don’t have to worry about that,” she replied quietly.
“Good, I was worried I might have done something wrong raising you that you might want to side with S.I.N. and burn down my house,” he laughed lightly, his eyes returning to meet hers.
“Again with the raising, I am not your child,” Odin sighed, their conversation had gone back to normal. But there was another thing she needed to ask him. “And you, Joshua? Are you fighting as well?”
He laughed, “I’m too old for that.”
“Shut up, I told you we’re almost the same age,” she retorted swiftly and he laughed again.
“No, what I mean is fighting is no longer my thing. I don’t do that anymore.” He paused for a while and added, “Also, you need someone to come back home to.”
Odin did not expect what she was hearing and that made her eyes water. “But.. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to come back ali--”
But before she could finish, he got up, knelt down in from of her and hugged her. “Hush, don’t say that. You’re definitely coming back alive. I believe that.”
He pulled back and wiped a tear that was escaping down her cheek. “I believe in you, okay? So fight hard and well, and I’ll be waiting right here for you.”
Odin forced the rest of her tears back down and nodded. “Okay, I’ll come home. Just wait for me, old man,” she smiled, or whatever variation of a smile she could muster then.
He laughed and ruffled her hair, “What’s with the “old man”? We’re almost the same age, remember?”
-----
They spent the rest of the night talking, Odin mostly recounting her month’s experience while Joshua laughed and commented, basically trying her nerves again, but that was how it always went with them. When the time to go to bed came Odin went upstairs and found her room to be kept and in perfect order. Her old things were still there, as if she had never left, awaiting her return at the end of each day. She threw away her old scarf, packed some of the things she might need for her next journey and went to bed. And before Joshua awoke the next day, Odin was gone again.
((lol, after an eternity.. I posted the continuation.. This was supposed to be posted after Odin tore up her scarf to mend Brain's wounds and then brain left and I had no more scarf tearing opportunities XD ))
..but to know what you must do to go beyond them."
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