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 Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:37 pm
"Tell him you're sorry...for what? Did you...do something you need to apologize for?"
Sionce had disregarded the apology to him in the same way someone would just take some words and toss them aside, as he was rather tired of people in general apologizing to him for some grievance. But when Fiach asked to have an apology passed to Trisste...it made him turn and look at his companion more fully.
"What...do you mean?"
Inside, a small pool of dread was filling up inside Sionce's heart and chest as his mind wrapped around the possibilities of what that simple sentence could mean. He was sure earlier that Fiach had told Trisste to do something, but what was it?
Why...did it make his heart ache? That alone hurt worse than his side, but...
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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 8:44 pm
Frowning momentarily as he realized Sionce didn't remember his mentioning Trisste's cry for help for him, Fiach merely shrugged. Being stared at made him feel awkward, like he'd done something wrong and couldn't remember what. Shifting how he was sitting slightly, as the discomfort started to bother him, he quietly muttered, "He...asked me to come help you. I told you earlier...remember?"
Though that wasn't actually all Trisste had said, Fiach wasn't sure if the hacker would like him to tell Sionce that Trisste had been pleading as if his friend's life depended on it. Reflecting back on it, Fiach supposed that, in a way, it had. Fidgeting slightly again, Fiach ran his hand through his hair, vaguely wishing he hadn't given Sionce his hat earlier to help hide his friend's tears as he brought him home...or that he'd tied it back in its ponytail before leaving the shop, at least.
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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 10:22 pm
Sionce shook his head in mute dumbness, as it had really slipped his mind that Fiach had really even spoken to him before the events inside the cab and at the airport itself. Perhaps this was all his masterful way of repressing his memories that would cause him pain, and part of him wondered if he'd forget today.
"I...I don't remember. I'm sorry, but I...."
He intertwined his fingers together and looked down at the floor, ignoring the welling pulse that was growing against his ribcage. Something didn't feel right.
"But I...I will tell him. I...I'm sorry."
Sionce didn't mean to sound choppy in his speaking, but for some reason his breathing was starting to hurt as well. Perhaps it was in his imagination.
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Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:15 pm
Confusion touched Fiach's features, quickly followed by worry. He wasn't sure if Sionce had actually forgotten or if his friend just didn't want to talk about it. Recalling the welt on his friend's ribs, Fiach quickly moved closer to Sionce, his worry clear on his face. Gently grabbing Sionce by the shoulders, he quickly asked, "Are you all right? Your ribs...they're not broken are they? Are you sure you don't want to see a doctor, Sionce? I don't mind taking you there..."
Suddenly feeling foolish for the abrupt movement and how silly he was acting, he abashedly looked to the side, a blush rising on his face. Fiach hadn't thought he'd react like this to Sionce getting hurt. They had met during a fight, after all. Sionce had seemed fairly used to being attacked, and it hadn't seemed to bother him. Yet what had just happened seemed to have greatly affected Sionce...
Feeling stupid for having grabbed Sionce and had what appeared to be a small panic attack, Fiach let go of Sionce's shoulders before stuttering an apology.
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:41 pm
Sionce's face burst into a deep shade of red as Fiach got closer and touched him, and it only darkened as he watched his companion blush as well.
What the hell is he blushing for?
His blush slowly died as Fiach let go and stammered an apology, and Sionce knit his brow close as he listened. Right now he felt Fiach was being rather...ridiculous, angry at him one moment and then touchy-feely and apologetic the next.
"....You're worse off than me, I think."
He chuckled a bit and winced at the movement, definately sure he had at least one crack in his rib, possibly two. At this rate it was sure Sionce would have to take some pain meds to ease the passing, and if it got any worse...perhaps he would make his way to the doctor. Or Art.
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 9:58 pm
His jaw dropping at Sionce's comment of his being worse off than his friend was, Fiach stammered a bit before he finally got his mouth to work in concert with his brain. "How am I worse off than you? I got hit once in the jaw - you were burned and hit hard enough to possibly break some ribs!"
Grinding his teeth momentarily, Fiach gave in to a sigh. He wasn't really sure why he was still here - Sionce didn't seem to want any help and he was in a god awful mood from not getting to finish that fight. Fiach really hated getting into a fighting mood - it left him on the defensive for a long while. And it was never good to be in that mind set when you were around friends and family. He needed to work out the energy he had balled up inside now, but didn't see how he could for the time being.
"I'm...sorry. I just...worry about you. We met when I barged into that fight and I guess I just have it in my head that I need to step in all the time." Nodding slightly to himself, he thought that sounded like a good excuse for how he was acting. At least he hoped it did, though he wasn't even sure why he was trying to excuse his behavior.
Damn Trisste for asking me to step in.
Glancing back at Sionce, Fiach frowned a little, "I know you don't need protecting...I guess I just can't help it. Trisste begged me to hurry over and to protect you from Emile." Gesturing towards both of their injuries, he sullenly added, "And I'm a little upset that I didn't succeed," smiling a little to show the last was a joke. Or at least an attempt at one.
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:47 am
"Trisste asked you...to protect me from Emile? Why?"
His question was simple and honest, and the shock on Sionce's face clearly showed that he was surprised at what Trisste had done on his behalf. Sure, he knew the hacker treasured their companionship...but to this point?
Not wanting to think to hard on that, he pulled the subject back to Fiach's desire to fight - or at least what he translated as such.
"If you need...to blow off some steam you know, you can hit me as well. I have a feeling I tend to frustrate you with how pathetic I am, and to make up for it...feel free to beat the crap out of me. Then you can tote my body to the hospital if you want or leave me here."
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 12:55 am
Nodding at Sionce's question about Trisste's behavior, Fiach gave a small shrug. He didn't know why Trisste had asked, just that he had done so. To the point Fiach couldn't possibly refuse. Remembering the frantic "PING!" Trisste had been sending, Fiach wondered at the panic - and how bad Sionce had been before he'd got there.
But he didn't have time to question or ponder for long, as Sionce moved on, returning the situation to him. Wincing at what was suggested, Fiach felt angry that Sionce would think he would do such a thing. That he had that much of a burning desire to fight, that he would beat up his own friend. Even after said friend had been badly injured by his sister.
Fiach felt as if a door had just closed, as if he could truly never tell Sionce the truth about his past. With that in his mind, Fiach tried his best not to let his features show his anger, disappointment, or hurt.
"I don't think you're pathetic, Sionce." Eyes flashing, he added vehemently, "I am not like your sisters. What makes you think I want to fight, to hurt you?"
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 1:27 am
"I'm easy to take your frustrations out on. You can hit me as much as you want and I don't scream, I don't cry. My body heals pretty well and no one believes me no matter what I say."
A single tear slid down Sionce's cheek as he spoke, his face still calm. The tear looked out of place, like he was shedding it without actually knowing, and it dropped against his chin before falling to the ground.
"I've got no other use. Eventually all I try fails, and..."
Another tear joined the first, but he wasn't sobbing. Sionce's words were clear as he spoke, and he looked Fiach dead in the eyes.
"As a man, I can't do so many things. I've got nothing else to do for you, Fiach."
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 1:56 am
His mouth gaping open by the time Sionce was finished, Fiach sat there, unable to move for several moments. He watched as Sionce cried while speaking, unable to move to comfort his friend or to dry his tears for him. Fiach's hands twitched against his legs as he wrestled the thoughts that cropped up in his mind. Surprise from how honest Sionce was and the tears that appeared on his friend's face made Fiach unsure of how to respond.
He wanted to hug his friend. He wanted to wipe the tears away and tell Sionce that everything was all right. He wanted to be honest about himself. But he didn't know how Sionce would react if he did any of those things. Fiach was afraid to make things worse, afraid of what Sionce might do if he were to feel any more like a failure. Fiach remembered how he had responded to guilt and feelings of failure - he had the scars to remember that for a lifetime.
Sighing, Fiach reached over and tugged on the bill of the hat he'd placed on Sionce's head. Pulling it lower over his friend's face, he smiled before saying, "Sionce, you don't fail at everything." Gesturing towards himself, he added a self depracating, "I'm still alive, aren't I?" Waving his hands at the many computers around them, he continued, "Trisste and the shop are a success. Because of you. Without you...none of this would be here."
Frowning as he placed a friendly hand on Sionce's shoulder, he gave it a gentle squeeze. "Please, don't think you're a failure. You're not."
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 8:19 pm
As the hat bill ran against the tip of his head and left some pressure, Sionce felt his tears increase in their bitterness and flow. This was becoming a pity toss out as the feelings where passed back and forth, only growing in whatever they were rooted in with each turn. For Sionce...it was an ache in his chest, a feeling of uselessness in his stomach, and a drop or two of fear running down his spine.
"I am a failure. I'll never get what I really want...."
His words were spoken in a hushed tone, his eyes and face turned fully to the ground. He watched as his tears spilled directly from his eyes and onto his crossed legs, puddling in the crevices of his pants before soaking in or sliding off once that area had become too saturated.
"Of course I can succeed in saving you, but only because you want to save yourself as well. You can't...you can't want to leave...us...you can't want to leave us all behind."
Sionce'd almost said me. He bit his lower lip at thought.
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Posted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 9:07 pm
Frowning as he watched his friends few tears grow to many, Fiach wondered if he'd said or done something wrong. Turning his head away as Sionce said that Fiach couldn't want to leave them all behind, he bit his lip. Sighing, as he rolled up his sleeves, Fiach tried to figure out how to calm his friend down. Or how to at least make him feel as if he wasn't a failure.
The truth was, Fiach had wished Emile had killed him. He had wished that Sionce hadn't caught him that night. And Fiach still wished his landlord hadn't entered his apartment the first time. But how to tell Sionce that he really had saved him, when Fiach had thought himself lost?
Fiach almost reached out to hug his friend, but was afraid of causing him more pain. His concern showed on his face, as he wondered if Sionce had cracked any ribs, or merely bruised them. While he wanted to ask what Sionce really wanted - he didn't. All he felt was confused at how his friend could think he was such a failure, when he'd done so much.
At Sionce's comment of Fiach not possibly wanting to leave, his face blanched. Giving in to a frown and a quiet sigh, Fiach said in his clear lilt, "I did, Sionce." Shrugging as if that explained it all, Fiach readied himself for the explosion he was sure was coming.
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:25 pm
Sionce felt a sharp pain stab at his chest, more specifically his heart, as he heard Fiach's simple two word answer to his question. He'd suspected it, of course, that Faich would easily have killed himself or just run off when the time was right to do so...but perhaps deep down he'd hoped that the nagging in his brain was nothing more than that - nagging.
"....."
He didn't speak at first as he tried to gather his thoughts together, and as he ran a finger over the soreness on his ribs that was actually starting to go away (in his mind at least; the pain was very real but he was semi-distracted) he thought of what he could say that wouldn't make Fiach actually stomp out and leave him now.
"...Then why didn't you?"
...That was probably not it.
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 6:36 pm
Turning his face away and almost moving to stand up, Fiach clenched his fists. He should leave before he had to admit to anything else. Before he had to reveal anything inside, he should get up and walk out the door. His previous experiences made his instincts scream at him to run away, but he couldn't. Sionce had been open with him regarding Emile, had shared part of who he was. Fiach sighed as he realized that Sionce was so much stronger than he was. His friend had stopped hiding the truth, if only in part, so why couldn't he stop running away?
Because its so hard to trust again.
Slowly turning back to look his friend in the eyes, Fiach said in a dull voice, "Because that night you stopped me." Gesturing to his side, where Sionce had hit him when he'd found out that Fiach was contemplating suicide again, he gave a humorless laugh. "Its...difficult to do much of anything when someone starts a fight with you." It was, for the most part, the truth. Fiach hadn't slit his wrists that night because Sionce had walked in before he could work himself up to it. If Sionce hadn't come in right then, Fiach knew he probably would have done it.
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Posted: Mon Nov 26, 2007 7:17 pm
Sionce smiled humorlessly at the comment that Fiach made about being stopped, and it let the youth know that his partner had really planned on killing himself.
Perhaps that fight was his fault as well, what with Addy and the net and the monitor and the angry words. So int he end, was he the one who drove Fiach towards suicide...and then saved him from it? What did that make Sionce - an opportunist?
"Ah, you know...I...would want to keep you from all that."
What the hell was he saying? Sionce wasn't sure anymore, and as he ran his fingers over his side once more the slight touch actually caused several swimmer to appear in front of his eyes, darkening his vision for a moment.
"Ah, what...."
A sudden burst of either energy or pain drove Sionce quickly to his feet, and he stared straight ahead for a moment before turning and looking down at Fiach. A smile came across his lips before the swimmers appeared in his gaze once more and he felt himself lean forward and then backwards, his frame smashing roughly against the wall as he slid down.
A soft sigh escaped his lips as the color slowly faded from his eyes, his mind fleeing away into a dark arrest.
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