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 Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 2:30 pm
Nikolita trippy hippy Ok. I have a question. I want to move slow so I don't overwhelm him so, what do I start with? Holding hands, kissing? It doesn't even have to be that. Smile a lot, to show him you're interested and that you like being with him. You can compliment him if you'd like, again to show you're interested, and it'll probably make him feel good to hear such nice things from you. Just be careful not to overdo it. Ummm... hugging is a good start. You can hug him when you say hello or good-bye, if you'd like. He hugged me this morning, and he sat with me and my friend this morning, and I lunch I sat next to him. Things are looking up.
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 7:51 am
Could you please change the smoking to local laws?
I don't smoke and hopefully never will, but where I live it's illegal to BUY cigerettes under either 16 or 18, but smoking is technically okay by law.
No point in giving false information. sweatdrop
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Bishounen Ducky Generator
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Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2005 10:50 am
Bishounen Ducky Generator Could you please change the smoking to local laws? I don't smoke and hopefully never will, but where I live it's illegal to BUY cigerettes under either 16 or 18, but smoking is technically okay by law. No point in giving false information. sweatdrop Sorry about that. sweatdrop I've never heard of a law allowing people under 18 or 19 to buy and smoke cigarettes, in Canada or the US. eek I'll go change it, sorry.
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 1:24 pm
For the age gap thing. I'm 14 dateing an 18 year old. But I find myself WAY more mature than most 14 year olds. Should it still be considered 'wrong'?
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:38 pm
Terrifyingly twisted... For the age gap thing. I'm 14 dateing an 18 year old. But I find myself WAY more mature than most 14 year olds. Should it still be considered 'wrong'? It's still illegal if you do anything sexual. And a lot of people, parents included, might look down on you/not trust you because of it.
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:45 pm
Nikolita Terrifyingly twisted... For the age gap thing. I'm 14 dateing an 18 year old. But I find myself WAY more mature than most 14 year olds. Should it still be considered 'wrong'? It's still illegal if you do anything sexual. And a lot of people, parents included, might look down on you/not trust you because of it. No. I'm smarter than that. I won't do anything that I know is wrong. And besides people already look down at me/ don't trust me for no apprent reasons .
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 4:53 pm
Do what you think is right. If you really are mature, and he's a nice guy, your parents will trust you. If not, you might want to take a step back, and make sure he's trustworthy. As for other people, you shouldn't care what they think.
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:21 pm
trippy hippy Do what you think is right. If you really are mature, and he's a nice guy, your parents will trust you. If not, you might want to take a step back, and make sure he's trustworthy. As for other people, you shouldn't care what they think. Merci
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 6:36 pm
There are two reasons people will look down on your relationship.
1. Despite the fact that you say you are "WAY more mature than most 14 year olds" we all know that EVERY 14 year old says that. Once you get older you are able to look back and realize that you really weren't as mature as you thought you were.
2. Most 18 year old boys would have that much in common with a 14 year old girl. Also as most people say he will 'only have one thing on his mind'. And even if you are more mature those 4 years give you a whole lot of knowledge and it can be hard to have an in depth conversation with someone who doesn't have that.
Now I'm not saying that just because of your ages it means you relationship is crap or anything. The point is that these are what most people see when they look at you. Also things like this are based on the majority. And the fact is that 99% of relationships at 14 years old do not last. Also the fact that it's an online relationship makes it even more difficult since 99% of them don't work out either.
So my advice is really do what makes you happy. If this makes you happy now then that's great.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 2:30 pm
I'm in an online relationship and have been for nearly 6 months now. The first thing my boyfriend and I did, even back when we were just friends, was come clean to each other about how we wanted this to work out. We set a few basic rules which applies for all relationships:
1) Dont hide anything from each other. Just like in a "normal" relationship you want to be able to trust each other. Needless to say, this goes in any type of relationship, friends or partners.
2) Dont let the guy/girl on the other side of the internet wire keep you from having an outside life. Allow each other to date people from their offline life if they want, but again, tell each other. If you cant tell your online partner about an offline date, why are you even together.
3) Tolerance and patience is two of the most important keywords in an online relationship. Tolerance because you need to be able to tolerate your "mate" talking about another person they might like without seeming overly protective and patience because you dont know when you will be able to see and touch each other for the first, second and so on, time.
4) Talk about anything and I mean anything. Everything from your pets to your inner, deepest desires. Nothing is taboo. Just like in a "normal" relationship you need to get to know each other better than any body.
5) Dont be afraid of talking about emotions. If something your partner does, even though its online, tell them. Tell them how different types of wordings make's you feel. I often experience that because my boyfriend is a horrible speller, I wrinkle my nose and wonder how I can possibly stand this guy, but then he says something that just makes my heart melt and I tell him about both cases.
Those are just the basics, but they are the most important.
My boyfriend got a girlfriend in his hometown just a few weeks after we "got together" and needless to say, I was jelous. I told him and he reasured me it wasnt because he had gone hunting, as he called it. She had just randomly kissed him and started calling him pet names (it was a girl from his work). What mattered most to me, though, was that the first thing he did, was tell me as soon as he got the chance. That meant a lot to me.
He dated the girl for a few months, but broke up with her because she was "neglecting" him. She had a kid too from a rape, but hadnt told him because she was afriad of how he would react. He felt she had betrayed him by doing that, that she didnt trust him.
A thing we also already have discussed is what I'm going to do if I get pregnant. As I said, dont hide anything from each other and talk about everything. I made my decision about that subject several months ago. I'm 17 and there is no way I'm having a little pink thing ruining my life before I'm done with my education and luckily I have a boyfriend who understands and respects that.
A thing many wants to know too, is if Cyber is sexual intercourse online. To that my reply is and always will be, NO! Cyber is for n00bs and kids. What online sex is, though, is an art. It is not necessarily about the "sex", but about how well formulated and how descriptive you can be in just a few sentences. It can be just like a good roleplay and you dont have to feel ashamed to admit it, because it both helps you to be better at speaking and using english or whichever language you choose to use. I myself prefer to use english, because I dont like the words used in my native language, Danish.
Bottomline: Cyber is for noobs, Erotic roleplaying is for the mature audience.
Also, about the trusting he is who he says he is, I doubt he would be able to lie his way out of daily webcam conversations, microphone conversations and phone calls (expencieve but well worth it!). I call him often because I have a special made deal with my phone company so I dont pay the usual tax, but only half.
I call him at all times of the day and night, just to piss him off. I've woken him up a few times, but he still loves me blaugh
I guess thats pretty much what I have discovered for the past 10 months of online dating. Long post, I know, but also very informative.
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:19 pm
HellsBitch I'm in an online relationship and have been for nearly 6 months now. The first thing my boyfriend and I did, even back when we were just friends, was come clean to each other about how we wanted this to work out. We set a few basic rules which applies for all relationships:
1) Dont hide anything from each other. Just like in a "normal" relationship you want to be able to trust each other. Needless to say, this goes in any type of relationship, friends or partners.
2) Dont let the guy/girl on the other side of the internet wire keep you from having an outside life. Allow each other to date people from their offline life if they want, but again, tell each other. If you cant tell your online partner about an offline date, why are you even together.
3) Tolerance and patience is two of the most important keywords in an online relationship. Tolerance because you need to be able to tolerate your "mate" talking about another person they might like without seeming overly protective and patience because you dont know when you will be able to see and touch each other for the first, second and so on, time.
4) Talk about anything and I mean anything. Everything from your pets to your inner, deepest desires. Nothing is taboo. Just like in a "normal" relationship you need to get to know each other better than any body.
5) Dont be afraid of talking about emotions. If something your partner does, even though its online, tell them. Tell them how different types of wordings make's you feel. I often experience that because my boyfriend is a horrible speller, I wrinkle my nose and wonder how I can possibly stand this guy, but then he says something that just makes my heart melt and I tell him about both cases.
Those are just the basics, but they are the most important.
My boyfriend got a girlfriend in his hometown just a few weeks after we "got together" and needless to say, I was jelous. I told him and he reasured me it wasnt because he had gone hunting, as he called it. She had just randomly kissed him and started calling him pet names (it was a girl from his work). What mattered most to me, though, was that the first thing he did, was tell me as soon as he got the chance. That meant a lot to me.
He dated the girl for a few months, but broke up with her because she was "neglecting" him. She had a kid too from a rape, but hadnt told him because she was afriad of how he would react. He felt she had betrayed him by doing that, that she didnt trust him.
A thing we also already have discussed is what I'm going to do if I get pregnant. As I said, dont hide anything from each other and talk about everything. I made my decision about that subject several months ago. I'm 17 and there is no way I'm having a little pink thing ruining my life before I'm done with my education and luckily I have a boyfriend who understands and respects that.
A thing many wants to know too, is if Cyber is sexual intercourse online. To that my reply is and always will be, NO! Cyber is for n00bs and kids. What online sex is, though, is an art. It is not necessarily about the "sex", but about how well formulated and how descriptive you can be in just a few sentences. It can be just like a good roleplay and you dont have to feel ashamed to admit it, because it both helps you to be better at speaking and using english or whichever language you choose to use. I myself prefer to use english, because I dont like the words used in my native language, Danish.
Bottomline: Cyber is for noobs, Erotic roleplaying is for the mature audience.
Also, about the trusting he is who he says he is, I doubt he would be able to lie his way out of daily webcam conversations, microphone conversations and phone calls (expencieve but well worth it!). I call him often because I have a special made deal with my phone company so I dont pay the usual tax, but only half.
I call him at all times of the day and night, just to piss him off. I've woken him up a few times, but he still loves me blaugh
I guess thats pretty much what I have discovered for the past 10 months of online dating. Long post, I know, but also very informative. I'm going to add this to the first post, if that's ok. ninja
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Posted: Sun Oct 16, 2005 6:20 pm
trippy hippy Nikolita trippy hippy Ok. I have a question. I want to move slow so I don't overwhelm him so, what do I start with? Holding hands, kissing? It doesn't even have to be that. Smile a lot, to show him you're interested and that you like being with him. You can compliment him if you'd like, again to show you're interested, and it'll probably make him feel good to hear such nice things from you. Just be careful not to overdo it. Ummm... hugging is a good start. You can hug him when you say hello or good-bye, if you'd like. He hugged me this morning, and he sat with me and my friend this morning, and I lunch I sat next to him. Things are looking up. Good to hear! mrgreen Best of luck!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:49 am
I was hoping you'd do that, actually, just to let people know that it doesnt have to "noobs only" for online dating, but that it can be pretty serious.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:12 pm
i have a problem...will anyone help?
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:32 pm
Glowing in the darknesS i have a problem...will anyone help? Sure. smile You can post it in the main part of this subforum, if you'd like. That way you don't have to post in the sticky. But it's up to you.
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