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It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.

It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.
He...She was now quit happy with her new found body; enfact the very next day Rufina bought herself a mirror so she could look at herself.
"Damn, am I one HAWT fox or what?!" she said about herself, oogling over her hot new bod. "All the boys will be all over me."

must not let story die... need posters. story... too funny... to... die!!

It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.
He...She was now quit happy with her new found body; enfact the very next day Rufina bought herself a mirror so she could look at herself.
"Damn, am I one HAWT fox or what?!" she said about herself, oogling over her hot new bod. "All the boys will be all over me."
Two weeks later he was married to a Latino man named Armando, who he meet while at his new job at Hooters.
A week after that, Rufina was enraged that Armando was having a hot affair with another man, ESATABAN.
So Rufina shot Esataban and Armando until they were dead and then hide the bodies in her rain gutters.

(I guess I should get back in on this, seeing as I started it razz )



It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.
He...She was now quit happy with her new found body; enfact the very next day Rufina bought herself a mirror so she could look at herself.
"Damn, am I one HAWT fox or what?!" she said about herself, oogling over her hot new bod. "All the boys will be all over me."
Two weeks later he was married to a Latino man named Armando, who he meet while at his new job at Hooters.
A week after that, Rufina was enraged that Armando was having a hot affair with another man, ESATABAN.
So Rufina shot Esataban and Armando until they were dead and then hide the bodies in her rain gutters.
It took many minutes to shove the bodies all the way into the rain gutters but it worked out for Rufina in the end.
That is, until it rained, but not a normal drizzle, oh no, it was a torrential downpour!

It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.
He...She was now quit happy with her new found body; enfact the very next day Rufina bought herself a mirror so she could look at herself.
"Damn, am I one HAWT fox or what?!" she said about herself, oogling over her hot new bod. "All the boys will be all over me."
Two weeks later he was married to a Latino man named Armando, who he meet while at his new job at Hooters.
A week after that, Rufina was enraged that Armando was having a hot affair with another man, ESATABAN.
So Rufina shot Esataban and Armando until they were dead and then hide the bodies in her rain gutters.
It took many minutes to shove the bodies all the way into the rain gutters but it worked out for Rufina in the end.
That is, until it rained, but not a normal drizzle, oh no, it was a torrential downpour!
The bodies floated up and out of the gutter and paraded along the streets, dyeing the water around them a pale red.
A couple people saw this and puked into the stream, turning it now into an odd red-pink.

It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.
He...She was now quit happy with her new found body; enfact the very next day Rufina bought herself a mirror so she could look at herself.
"Damn, am I one HAWT fox or what?!" she said about herself, oogling over her hot new bod. "All the boys will be all over me."
Two weeks later he was married to a Latino man named Armando, who he meet while at his new job at Hooters.
A week after that, Rufina was enraged that Armando was having a hot affair with another man, ESATABAN.
So Rufina shot Esataban and Armando until they were dead and then hide the bodies in her rain gutters.
It took many minutes to shove the bodies all the way into the rain gutters but it worked out for Rufina in the end.
That is, until it rained, but not a normal drizzle, oh no, it was a torrential downpour!
The bodies floated up and out of the gutter and paraded along the streets, dyeing the water around them a pale red.
A couple people saw this and puked into the stream, turning it now into an odd red-pink.
The cops soon say the bodies and sent Rufina to prison, where she became someone's beotch.
One day her "Sugah Daddy" as he called himself came up and said "Hey baby wanna <*CENSORED*>"

It was a hot, humid day, some skyfish flew through the air, the odd feeling of flowing trapars surrounded the boy's body.
He was a spunky youth of but 15 years named Rufus and he enjoyed fishing for frogs out of toilets.
Rufus had just finished watching his favorite show, Eureka Seven, and decided that today was the day he would make it BIG like his idol Renton.
Unfortunately for Rufus, he sucked at everything he did and had no talent in any field, profession, or medium, and he had a big mole on his butt.
But in spite of this, he would still try, and he knew what his big chance was!
As he tried to achieve his dream, all of the other kids laughed at him and said he was a stinky pants who failed in everything and would therefor fail in life.
Rufus cried for many nights and became a social outcast, always the lonely nerd with no talent and a huge, ache-ridden face decorated only by a pair of 80's glasses and short, moose-covered hair the color of strained peaches.
Still, he had to try, he had to practice, the refboard contest was only a few weeks away!
But first things first, he needed to find a ref-board that wasn't a plank of wood.
For many a day Rufus riffled through the woods to seek the new metallic plank, but suddenly, a bear attacked him for his gooey honey innards!
He decided it was useless to run, as he couldnt run very fast, so he brandished a stick he found on the ground.
The bear, of course, mauled him, but luckily for the boy, he managed to make it to the hospital, only to find that his parents weren't going to pay the bills.
The doctors told him that he had to pay off the bill at any cost, and that if he couldnt pay, they wouldnt release him from the hospital.
So into the hospital cafeteria he was indentured, to slave away forever... or at least until the bills were paid, and you know how expensive those can be so who knows when Rufus will be free.
Twenty years later, at the ripe age of thirty-five, Rufus was angry.
"Aw damn it!" He shouted in the middle of a packed cafeteria, everyone looking up from their pudding cups and jello bowls and staring at him.
"I just spilled squished peas on my pants!!" he continued; today was definately not coming up Rufus.
Taking a break from his stressful and constantly moving life, he, bitter and balding, ate some flowers.
But little did he know, that the pollen from these flowers gave him super powers!
Standing up slowly, he felt a strange surge of power run through his body.
Suddenly....HE WAS ENGULFED IN FLAMES!
Then soon after the sprinklers put Rufus out.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it), Rufus survived to spontaneously combust another day!
The next day, he exploded in ice.
Luckily Rufus managed to survive the odd incident with cuts, bruises, and third degree burns.
Back in the hospital, after having his 3rd degree freezer burns treated, he was told that he could never pronounce the letter Q ever again (oddly enough, he could still pronounce "kw").
The doctors also had to saw his limbs off due to hypothermia.
When he returned to the cafeteria a few days later, he found it was even harder to serve the peas now that his arms were missing.
But due to some quick thinking from his friends, he had spoons surgically attached to his stumps, in order to serve the peas.
But the he tripped over a spoon and smashed the peas in his face.
This lowered his self-esteem and he cried himself to sleep for weeks afterwards.
And then....And then....And then his friend woke him up and gave him a cookie.
He took the cookie, and ate it, but it only made things worse because it was an oatmeal cookie, and he was allergic to oats!
This caused him to go into heart failure. Luckily, it was at the hospital, so he was rushed into the ER, and was brought back to life.
And when he came back to life he got superhuman powers but he STILL couldn't pronounce "qu"
Thus earning him the imposing, fear-striking, tooth-rattling name...."The Kwickie!!"
Rufus took great pride in his name and stricked fear into the hearts of many at the hospital.
Then one day...someone came in that he feared most of all,his...
GRANDMOTHER. *Dun dun duuun*
And this time she came with her scary background music.
But the scary background music mixed with the dramatic entrance music to make a rather annoying cacophany.
It was so bad, it made Rufus bleed from his ears.
Suddenly, the music stopped, that was because there was a reason his grandmother came to the hospital, she had the flu.
It turned out that it was worse then flu though, she really had 10 brain tumors!!!
Luckly they were able to do a brain transplant and put Rufus's Brain in his grandmother's body.
Poor Rufus had been knocked out at the time, waking up to find himself an old bag a skins (ewww)...with boobs.
He was able to pronounce "qu" now though!
"uhhh Nurse!?" His look of shock turned to an even greater one when his nurse came through the door, it was none other then a look alike of Eureka; or possibly it was her.
Sadly The nurse thought Rufus was an old hag and soon left never to see him again.
After his big chance was ruined because of his body Rufus cried for many nights in his room, secretly watching the "Eureka" nurse through his hospital window.
Until she saw him... uhh, her, well whatever... until Rufus was caught looking by the Nurse and she got creeped out and had a restraining order placed and transfered to a different hospital.
That night and for many nights after Rufus cried himself to sleep at night because of his body.
Luckily after a quick visit to McNamara and Troy[yes a n**/Tuck reference], Rufus got a major overhaul of his old, gross body and became a hot beauty queen.
He...She was now quit happy with her new found body; enfact the very next day Rufina bought herself a mirror so she could look at herself.
"Damn, am I one HAWT fox or what?!" she said about herself, oogling over her hot new bod. "All the boys will be all over me."
Two weeks later he was married to a Latino man named Armando, who he meet while at his new job at Hooters.
A week after that, Rufina was enraged that Armando was having a hot affair with another man, ESATABAN.
So Rufina shot Esataban and Armando until they were dead and then hide the bodies in her rain gutters.
It took many minutes to shove the bodies all the way into the rain gutters but it worked out for Rufina in the end.
That is, until it rained, but not a normal drizzle, oh no, it was a torrential downpour!
The bodies floated up and out of the gutter and paraded along the streets, dyeing the water around them a pale red.
A couple people saw this and puked into the stream, turning it now into an odd red-pink.
The cops soon say the bodies and sent Rufina to prison, where she became someone's beotch.
One day her "Sugah Daddy" as he called himself came up and said "Hey baby wanna <*CENSORED*>"
One day her "Sugah Daddy" as he called himself came up and said "Hey baby wanna <*play Monopoly?*>" I get to be the little racecar! Vroom vroom!
Oh and they <*played Monopoly*> all night, long and hard.