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 Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:55 pm
Insist on reading him bedtime stories every night. Include "The Ugly Duckling"
Always refer to him as the-man-who-let-the-boy-live
Happen to constantly refer back to the fact that Voldemort is a halfblood every time he starts talking about anything related to purebloods.
Release crazed Harry obsessed fangirls on him and his deatheaters.
Release Harry-Voldy slash obsessed fangirls on him and his deatheaters. eek
While he's asleep, switch all of his black clothes with pastel and/or flouresent colored clothing.
Show him how incredibly easy it is to beat him in the Harry Potter Wii Video Game. then let him try, because you just know he'll lose against himself.
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Posted: Fri Oct 19, 2007 3:37 pm
about the whole voldy on a rollercoaster, what if voldy was tarrifide of them and you take him on the litte baby ones and he screams and jumps off hurting himself rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl biggrin 3nodding surprised exclaim exclaim cool lol question
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:16 pm
Refuse to refer to him as anything besides "He who has no nose"
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:45 pm
Ask him non-stop how Nagini was killed by the "weakest" Gryffindor around.
That'll send him over-the-edge for sure!
And Alessia's name-calling: "the-man-who-let-the-boy-live"
Haha, that would be FUNNY!
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 6:59 pm
Write him a letter of 100 things he will not do while trying to conquer the world. Number 100 would be "I will not Turn into a snake demon"
Oh and Send him flowers.
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:02 pm
It would be hilarious though if he actually LIKED the flowers...
Yea, a little weird indeed.
I know another way to annoy Voldemort!
By singing around him!
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 7:51 pm
- Ask him if the true reason he feared Dumbledore was because he was homophobic. When he looks fearful, plant a big kiss on him. (If you're a female, imperio a male to do so) ::::Warning!:::: This might get you killed.
- Ask him constantly if 'Ickle Voldiekins is afwaid of the Big Bad Harry Potter'.
- Refer to him as the 'Man-Who-Couldn't-Kill-A-Bloody-One-Year-Old'.
- If he asks where Nagini is, tell him that his pet snake went the same way his first did...chopped up with a sword by a boy-who-was-prophesied.
- Constantly remind him of all his failures: he couldn't kill a baby, or a 11 year old, or a 12 year old, or a 14 year old, or a 15 year old, or an extremely old man.
- Tell him, while sniggering, that you find it quite odd that one of his minions accomplished killing Snape when he, the Dark Lord, had been unable to do such a thing after trying for years.
Erm...all i can think of presently.
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 8:07 pm
OH!
- Place a permanent sticking charm upon him and set him up in Hagrid's cabin while Hermione and Ron are having their 'special time' alone.
- Tie him up, bring him to DisneyWorld, place him on the ride 'It's A Small World After All', and let him ride it until he needs a bed in St. Mungos, ro he Avada Kedavra's himself...whichever comes first.
- Ask him if his 'Harry Sense' is tingling. Then look down pointedly. XD
- Talk to Harry about opening their connection when him and Ginny have alone time together...record results.
- Make tee-shirts with 'Oooh, I tink I taw a bid bad Moldiemort! I DiD, I DiD I Did tee a bid bad Moldiemort' on them. He will be hopping mad.
- Steal his socks.
- Set up a camera in Hagrid's cabin to take pictures of him whenever he's without clothing, then proceed to (without seeing the pictures) send them to Voldemort in a parcel marked "Sure Fire Way to Rid the World of Harry Potter".
- Ask him if his wand is truly longer than Harry's. You've heard tell that Harry's is 13 cm.
- Make sure to send the 'Naked Quidditch Calendar' to him when it comes out.
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:08 pm
- Ask him if he and Michael Jackson see the same plastic surgeon.
- Mistake him for a bald Michael Jackson.
- Ask him what other things he and Michael have in common.
- Insinuate that he should get an actual job, saying that this 'taking over the world' deal, and the 'killing Harry Potter thing' just isn't working out.
- Catapult a cow at him.
- Charm all his robes paisley and make sure that it is permanent.
- Eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch in front of him, and when he doesn't see the attraction of it, laugh at him.
- Call him a silly rabbit.
- Repeat 'Hearts, Stars, and Horseshoes, Clovers, and Blue Moons! Pots of Gold and Rainbows, and some Red Balloons!' over and over, and when he asks what the hell you're talking about, tell him 'They're magically delicious!'.
- Tell him he looks a tad peaky, and offer him some spray on tan stuff.
- Give him 'Scribblers' popsickles and tell him they're meant for colouring with. Laugh when they melt all over his hands.
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Posted: Tue Jan 15, 2008 9:39 pm
lorraineleigh Hahahahahahaha!!! Those are all fantastic!!!!!! and for the following, I took these from Mugglenet. They were my favorite. Quote: 11. If you ever need to say 'Like taking candy from a baby', be sure to add 'Of course, SOME of us might find that harder than others.' Stare pointedly at him. 34. Ask him to give you written summaries of his sinister plots for revenge and war. Correct his spelling. 72. Offer to sacrifice Draco Malfoy 'to the cause.' 85. Throw biscuits at him. Constantly. 119. Paint his fingernails hot pink while he's sleeping, then place a permanent sticking charm on them so he can't remove the color. In a role play a friend and I did a thing like this to snape. We put makeup on him and cut his hair inot a mohawk before dieing it blue. Tis much fun. I got a good laugh out of it.
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Posted: Fri Jan 18, 2008 11:33 am
+.+ Write him love letters.
Insist you are married.
LOOOOOVE him. +.+
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 3:21 pm
Create a slideshow with a romantic song, showing pictures of Harry killing him. Show this to Voldemort in front of all Death Eaters.
Make an appointment for him to get a nose job.
Send him up for a round of karaoke (sorry if that's not how it's spelled).
Ask him if he has a Harry Potter action figure in a shrine on his dresser.
Take him to an anger management class.
Bring him to a musical or a pony ride.
Bring him to the Haven, and compare Harry's number of fangirls (10 zillion) to his (umm....I'm not even sure hhow many he has...probably about cool .
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:31 pm
Show him realistically drawn pictures of him and Harry Potter in erotic positions...
Show him a well written, detailed, lemon-having Voldemort/Harry fanfiction. (To add a bit more spice, insure it is a fanfiction you wrote yourself)
Replace all his black "I'm a big bad Dark Lord" robes with pink frilly frilly dresses...
Spill your butterbear on his new pink frilly frilly dresses.
Insist that he should start using unicorns to ride on during any Death Eater attacks.
MAKE him start using unicorns to ride on during all Death Eater attacks.
Somehow manage to replace all the Dark Marks with Hello Ponies.
Buy a cellphone, hide it in a place you know he won't find it, put on a really annoying alarm tune, charm the phone so that when it calls you can hear it in the entire mansion, and fix it so that the alarm tend to start on inconvenient times (Death Eater meetings, while he's eating, sleeping, etc..)
Buy him a TV. Muggle things is one of Voldemorts biggest phobias, as we all know.
Start sprouting Death Philosophies whenever he enters the room.
Buy him a huge birthday cake (On a day that isn't his birthday) and buy a stripper to jump out of the cake. The stripper must have a strange similarity to either Harry Potter or Albus Dumbledore.
...Hug him after exclaiming it to be the yearly "Hug A Dark Lord Day" event.
Buy him a years supply of lemon drops.
Send all his horcruxes to Dumbledore, with a "Love Voldemort" note.
Give Voldemort a love letter and confetti on Valentine's Day.
Convince him that you've heard of a prophesy, stating that Voldemort has to stay up for three weeks without sleep if he wants to win the war. (Good luck convincing him..)
Claim to be his long lost cousin. Your mother owned his grandfather's son's goldfishes previous owners dead cats uncle.
When you're to receive the mark, ask him if he sells it in neon pink as well.
Leave your b*****d children on his doorstep, with a "Please take care of my babies. Love Lucifer <3" note.
-Stops to think-
Errmm...
Trick him into joining a Harry Potter fanclub.
Convince him that the prophercy's real meaning is "Neither can live if the other dies" instead of "Neither can live if the other survives." And that if he kills Harry Potter, he'd be commiting suicide.
Tell him that Harry Potter is really him, and that soon, Harry will travel back into the past and will use the name Tom Riddle, and thereby killing Harry would be suicide.
Send him a love letter, signed under the name of "Albus Dumbledore".
Attack him, using your wand as a light saber, screaming about you going to take revenge on the evil Darth Vader.
Ask him if Harry Potter is his biological son.
Ask him whether he would mind jumping off a cliff to see if he could fly.
Tell him to take some Midol.
Insist that you've discovered what will eventually defeat him. Tell him it is an "All powerful device which is sometimes useful, but whenever you use it all you get is porn". When asked further on this device, tell him it's called Google, with no further explaination.
(Last five stolen from "The Plot Bunny Whisperer"'s story "I Am Not Allowed To" on ff.net)
...This is why I shouldn't use the computer at 03:30 when I'm babysitting.. D: I get bored, and I've eaten some candy and drunk coke. I don't think any of these are actually funny.. But I get random at this hour...
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Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 10:09 pm
Kitsune no Zetsumei Insist that he should start using unicorns to ride on during any Death Eater attacks. NO! YOU DON"T WANT TO DO THAT!! Don't you know that Unicorns are signs of the Antichrist. Making him ride unicorns will only increase his powers *flails arms and faints from OH THE HORROR*
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Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 5:59 pm
The Ghoul In Pajamas Kitsune no Zetsumei Insist that he should start using unicorns to ride on during any Death Eater attacks. NO! YOU DON"T WANT TO DO THAT!! Don't you know that Unicorns are signs of the Antichrist. Making him ride unicorns will only increase his powers *flails arms and faints from OH THE HORROR* HAH!!!! I like that!!! XD 'Accidentally' lock him in a closet, make sure he can't get out, and break the handle on your side so the death eaters can't get him out. Then lean out the window of the room the closet is in, and repeatedly yell 'Voldemort STILL won't come out of the closet!' Draw lewd pictures of him and various people he hates, ie Harry, Dumbledore, the entire Order of the Phoenix...
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