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 Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 5:03 am
Today is the day we have our meeting where they decide if they will certify him or not. confused I am feeling very stressed out. One school official contacted me off the record with the request i keep it to myself they told me to fight for my son. It was said to me that just so i am ready... too many people feel he does not qualify for autism certification.
guys, please be thinking of me today.
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:49 am
Graceangel Today is the day we have our meeting where they decide if they will certify him or not. confused I am feeling very stressed out. One school official contacted me off the record with the request i keep it to myself they told me to fight for my son. It was said to me that just so i am ready... too many people feel he does not qualify for autism certification.guys, please be thinking of me today. Good luck hun and fight your butt off! We'll be thinking of you.
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 12:32 pm
Welcome back, dA_fUnKy_mOnKeY! biggrin
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:06 pm
Ok guys. A more personal feeling is in my journal. but, we did get the OK for the certification today. Now, I need to go back on tuesday for the IEP part of it... where they determine what we are to do with this certification... what kind of classroom situation he needs, if they will let him into kindergarten... it will start to dwindle into the more... practical and applied stuff... my mom ended up being the one to go with me. I know in some ways this might look bad on my part to some people there. People who would normally be aggressive with me could think i'm being childish by having my mother there... but, you know.;..some aggressive people tend to back the hell down a little when there are other people there to see them. My mom did pick up on how openly critical his teacher was of me. I do have a sheet given to me by his new speech therapist this year. has a list of all the conferences nad things ican go to until december. also, this packet about special needs education.. on back page is a list of various organizations. so you can bet your dollar i'll be in contact with some of them on my next day off.
I guess this certification is both make me feel hopeful and heavy hearted in the same stroke. It's hopeful.. now we can look into helpful programs and stuff. On the other hand, it's a very heavy thing because i was made aware this morning of behaviors at school noone told me about before today. I feel the state of his autism is worse than I was aware. He seems to be one way with me at home. but at school and outside his comfort zones... his autistic behaviors and defensive mechanisms start really kicking in.
His teacher made several snide comments about how he is not potty trained. I happen to know that alot of students with MS, DS, and some other special needs.. some of those kids don't really potty train until 8 or older in some cases... so i don't think for naaman's situation it should be entirely unfounded that he should have trouble. However, in that respect, i did see abook on amazon.com. It is about potty training, and i read the user comments area. Several people said that they went to every seminar and tried everything professionals and specialists suggested.. and those things didn't work to help potty train their autistic kids. But, they say some methods in the book did work for them. So.. sometime in next few weeks if i can save some money, I will be getting that.
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Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2005 9:40 pm
That's what happened with my nephew. He's seven (and autistic, as I've stated before) and still has some accidents, and they didn't want to let him into regular public school. Unfortunatly, they didn't know not to mess with my family. We always win! So my nephew is in second grade!
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Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2005 10:36 am
*hugs* I'm not sure what to say but I'm reading all that's going on with Naaman and I wish you the best girl. I know a lot of kids I know do act differently when they're at school than at home, in their comfort zone.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 9:59 am
heyguys and thanks forthewelcome back loki. Im gonna be on hiatus for the next week. My great aunt died in her sleep. It was very sudden and unexpected. She was only 52. I hope everyone else is well and ill be back as soon as i can.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:05 am
dA_fUnKy_mOnKeY heyguys and thanks forthewelcome back loki. Im gonna be on hiatus for the next week. My great aunt died in her sleep. It was very sudden and unexpected. She was only 52. I hope everyone else is well and ill be back as soon as i can. I am sorry to hear about your aunt. Were you very close? I send my condolences.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 11:18 am
lunashock *hugs* I'm not sure what to say but I'm reading all that's going on with Naaman and I wish you the best girl. I know a lot of kids I know do act differently when they're at school than at home, in their comfort zone. My son definitely fits this category. He does act a bit differently around other poeple than he does when he's just at home. Ever since my son started school, I've been getting a lot of feedback from his teachers about things I hadn't really noticed when he was at home with me all the time. I've also asked his doctor about some of his behavior as well. It seems that he is REALLY acting out (and has been for a while). He gets very frustrated very easily and screams at the drop of a hat. I thought it may be due to us moving so much recently, but I'm not sure. His doctor is mentioning hyperactivity, ADD, or ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). I know a bit about these things - as my younger brother has ADD and hyperactivity - but I know next to nothing about ODD other than what little I have found over the internet and a booklet his doctor gave me. He does exhibit a slight speech impediment (which is a symptom of all of the above), but I always thought it was just normal for him. I'm really not sure what I need to do next though. Should I take him in for a psychological evaluation, or see if this is just some kind of phase? His doctor hasn't made any real recommendations to me either way, she's just talked a bit about it and given me that booklet. I guess, what I'm asking is, when one begins to find out that their could be something different about their child, how do you approach it? Also, while my side of the family has come to terms with the fact that many people have various kinds of disorders and they attach no stigma to it, my husbands side of the family (not him, but his parents and so forth) still have the "backwards" thinking that people with mental disorders are "weird" or they're something to be pittied. And I don't want them to treat my son any differently if there *is* something different about him, nor do I want them to treat me badly for seeking treatment for their "perfect grandbaby." I mean, when my MIL found out I was taking meds for a while because of my depression, she'd make snide comments about me all the time, like I was "crazy" since I had to take medicine... when THAT woman could probably benefit from medication her damn self! I know ADD and such is pretty common things for young children (especially boys), but I can't help but have some "Mom Guilt" over it. I know I cannot cause him to have these things, but I just feel like I should've been able to prevent it or something. Anyways, any advice, info, comments?
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:25 pm
Gindion Is it just parents, or are siblings of special needs children/teenagers welcome as well? The older of my two younger brothers was born with only one ear. The outer ear of the other one never formed, and he has none of the inner ear parts either. He's not learning disabled, but he's had over seven major surgeries since he was 5 ( he will be 16 this December), including one to remove his lower ribs to build his outer ear, and a skin graft surgery that removed skin on his upper right arm. He has no directional hearing, and his balence is way off. He's gotten past the teasing, the stares, and the pointing...and is now a track star at his school, regardless of his balence problems, and thinks he is God's gift to women. ^_^;;
that is awesome that he is doing so good! alot of kids can be really cruel.. god bless him! my heart is with u and ur family! lol he thinks hes god gift to women thats so cute! at least he is confident!!!!! 4laugh
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:38 pm
Loki, if you can as in terms of... if your insurance will cover it or you can afford. I'd recommend taking him first to a psychologist.. but also a neurologist. It could just be something in his nervous system that is off kilt. Like, I'm going through this stuff with naaman now. Some of the therapy stuff I'm doing at home to intervene for him.. I wonder to myself if i had been doing this two years ago.. what kind of difference would it have made for him.... I hate thinking that way. I understand what you mean about your husband's family. That's the issues josh has about this whole thing. The other day we were talking, and I almost broke through his wall of denial... but in that moment it was open.. i caught a glimpse of why he hides in it... because in his mind... to accept Naaman's autism also with it comes a wave of negative thinking... and he starts to wonder why i was to even have naaman by the guy who fathered him.. he starts to think about the possibility that we could be pinned down for all our life trying to help him if he can't find a way to cope beyond certain impairments which come with the autism.
While I was researching autism when people first suggested to me to look into it for naaman, i found this site on the internet where some guy wrote a letter and sent it to professionals who might have the best advice. He sent it by email, and his letter was something to the effect of "Hi. My daughter is three years old, and I just found out she is autistic. What should I do?" He kept all the replies that came back.
I know your situation is different. But, the average autistic child does also share some OCD and ADHD tendencies... and children with ADHD also tend to get treated like autistic children in school because of how they can be difficult to manage in a normal classroom situation. The average school just wants to put them on meds, but I feel while meds might help a little. Just medicating them isn't really helping the child, and it's not helping the parent find a way to treat the root causes to help them find a way to permanently overcome these challenges in their life. Also, educators are lazy and don't want to have to exhibit any effort to do extra with any child in particular. Ok well, this might not be everywhere... but i am finding out it happens a lot more than just to me...
Well, the one thing you have is support here. Also, your family sounds supportive, so continue to build up your support circle.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 4:06 pm
Thanks Grace biggrin .
We have Midicaid for the kids' medical insurance, so I'll have to see if it covers psychological exams as well. I'm pretty sure it does, but I'm not 100% on it.
If there is a problem, then I want to try and get something done for him ASAP. I know a lot of these things tend to get worse overtime if they go untreated.
I mean, Sean (my son) *is* a handful, but (IMO) he's not unmanageable. But I suppose he has he potential to get that way if he doesn't get something done about it soon.
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:23 pm
Well, in regards to the speech thing, bring up the subject with his ped. Pretty much you'll have to get his hearing checked out (standard procedure I think) and then get a speech evaluation. They told me originally, that speech therapy for 3 and up year olds would go to a public school for that, so maybe you could ask that that. If it's not too bad it wouldn't be more than an hour or so a week.
I'm not sure about the psychologist stuff, but I would definitely get him checked out by several different specialist like grace suggested. Not to rip a line off of a TV show, but you pick your specialist, you pick your problem, which can be confusing. I know Logan gets frustrated because even I have problems understanding what he's saying, keep us updated!
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Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 6:00 pm
This post was meant to be a bit of a reply to one of Loki's earlier posts on this page, in which she asked how one approachs their child when they begin to find out that something is different about their child (just for the record, so you don't go thinking this is some random rambling ninja ).
~
This probably doesn't help much, since my brother is almost 17, and most of the stories in here are about children, but I wanted to post anyways. I hope that's ok. sweatdrop
My brother was diagnosed with ADD when he was 15 or 16, I think? I can't remember when, but a couple of years ago roughly. Soon after, he was diagnosed with some auditory deficiency disorder, in which it basically comes down to if he is not paying attention to you or what you're saying, he won't hear you. It's like you were never talking to him at all. It makes things hard because he has the tendency to just say "uh huh... ok" when you're telling him to do something, and then you come back later and he hasn't done it because he didn't pay attention to what you were saying. It's really frustrating sometimes. My brother got both disorders from my dad, so sometimes it's like dealing with 2 copies of my brother, instead of a child and a parent.
But I guess the point of what I was trying to say is... well, I don't know how to say this properly, so I guess I'll just describe it. My parents (usually my mother) has the tendency to excuse my brother's behavior at home because he's got learning disabilities. If he didn't hear my parents tell him to do his chores, it's "because he didn't hear them." or if he's yelling and screaming, "it's because of his ADD." His bad grades are a result of ADD, etc. There's literally no discipline when it comes to him, and he knows he can get away with a lot because he'll never get in trouble for it. I am not disciplined much either, but then again I'm 19, and I have no learning disbailities. So it's not really a fair comparison, IMO. They've been a bit better when it comes to excusing his behavior (they don't do it as much), but there's still no discipline when it comes to him. And it doesn't help that my dad is the most passive person I know next to my ex boyfriend.
Anyways, my mom will often excuse my brother's behavior, and she'll always try to pull strings to get my brother what she thinks he needs.
For example, my brother needed to get into a math class in the fall semester, because if he waited until the second semester, my mom said he'd forget all his math and the tutor would have been a waste (he's had a tutor for a couple of years now). So when she found out he didn't get into a math class in the first semester, she flipped out and called the school, demanding to know why HER son didn't get into the class, when he was in LRC and needed to be in that class. And I can see why she would be upset, but I don't agree with how she reacted. I mean it's a school of almost 1500 kids now I think, and there are lots of kids with disabilities or other problems, and you're only going to fit so many kids into the amount of math classes in that particular semester. Anyways so she bitched at the school, and my brother got put onto a waiting list for one of the math classes offered this semester, and he ended up getting in.
But it's like, once he's out of high school, the real world doesn't work that way. My mom/dad won't always be there to pull strings for him, and s**t happens. I'm not sure if he's learned how to deal with things when they don't go his way. He has limited help at school in the LRC (learning resource center, for the kids with disabilities or other problems in school), but there's a lot of kids in that room each block, and only so much can be done.
Argh, sorry this turned into a rant. I guess my point was not to excuse someone's disabilities, or chalk up various things to their disabilities, and to instead show them ways to work around and cope with their disabilities.
Which is why I'm so happy to see that you guys are doing so well with your children. 3nodding
I really really hope I haven't offended anybody with what I was saying, because that wasn't my intention at all. I think you guys are all raising your children well, and are doing the best you can to deal with what life gives you. Again, I meant no offense, and I'm sorry if I offended anybody at all. whee *hides just in case*
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Posted: Fri Oct 21, 2005 5:00 pm
Whew ok... well, today, I went for the IEP half of my meeting from last week. It has been decided at least for now that Naaman will not be going to the afternoon kindergarten class because an instant transition into it would be overly stimulating. Also, the hands on attention he needs; he would become a major disruption in her class since she has 20 kinders and only one aid for an hour. She would need a full time aide in the room to assist with him which the school at this time arent' going to give. and next year, he'll go back to his old school and be in a full fledged 100% special ed classroom. Josh hates it. I found out today he had been in some special ed classes as a kid. And, he is very afraid once naaman is in the SE curriculum.. he may never be able to get out and into general curriculum for the rest of school.
however, naaman did complete his yearly goals for ECDD last year.. so since he is in same class this year. the teacher set new goals for him to work on which include to initiate demonstrative play. which will be if the teacher does a thing with an object in the room. He would on his own go up and do the exact same thing. also, they want to help him learn how to hold crayons and pencils cuz he doesn't hold them very well. and.. his speech therapist is basically expanding on what he did last year as well. last year, his speech therapist wanted him to be able to make wants and needs made known by pointing and or words. and also to be able to identify 20-25 words where as last year he only had to do ten words. so.. it's going to be building on what we've already done.
for his occupational therapy, we're going back to his tactile sensory issues.
I got a few contact numbers of groups/agencies to contact to see about getting help from. they said I might even be able to get some kind of income from the state to help deal with costs of naaman which might enable me to pay off the neurologist and continue to follow up with her. This would be awesome as I've been down $120 a month due to the student loan people cracking down on me. if i dont' give them that much.. or default on any payments. the girl on my account is going to push my account into litigation to press the courts to allow her to garnish beyond 15% of my paycheck... so.. i have been in need of financial relief to allow to pay a sitter so i can get more hours at work.
Meh... sweatdrop the whole thing of trying to get the time i need to work with him and balance my time working is just so stressful sometimes.
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