Welcome to Gaia! ::

I really wish this site wasn't decline as it has been... Video games take up more of my time these days (Dark Souls series, Diablo series, Dwarf Fortress).

RE: Degree, I can't afford to continue studying. The only reason why I even got this far was because my tuition was 100% covered by aid/grants. I can't go into debt when I have things I absolutely need to pay for (transition, which is not covered by Medicaid; only have 70s-era feminists to thank for that mad ). If I weren't lucky enough to get Medicaid, I'd be screwed now 'cause of all the doctors I have to see, and all the meds I've been and/or will be prescribed.

RE: book, I can't really give a proper synopsis, I don't have the whole thing outlined (as of this post, 3 chapters out of who knows how many lol), and the things I do have in mind jump around in the timeline. I can give the premise: It'll be tracking what happens after Sabe and Maerua leave Gaia for good, coming back to Serole. They happen to arrive in the midst of a kingdom-wide political revolution happening within larger cultural and technological revolutions. My intention is to discuss 'progress' and its (sometimes alienating) effects. There's also some central mysteries of the setting to attend to, such as finding out where magic comes from and what it means to 'ascend' (to godhood). And of course, the character drama; can't leave that out smile

I think my interest in Gaia peaked between 2011-2012 before going on a very slow decline. Even though that decline is more like a cliff these days, I'm still holding out for an improvement (however delusional it may be...). It's not for nothing though, I've had a hell of a time since 2007.

There are such scholarships, but they pay chump change (~$500). If I were to out myself to an institution to get some aid, I wouldn't do it for that little. Hell, I'd get more by pretending to be a woman in a STEM field... or even Women's Studies - they get five times that much for being in a field that is nowhere near as rigorous!

At least my diploma will have my yet-to-be-legal name, my college is awesome about that kind of thing.

RE: transition, I'm a bit bulkier and definitely hairier. Gonna apply to the local Walmart for Lawn/Garden or Overnight Stock so there's a chance I can get some real muscle definition going on, even if it is just "babby's first gains" smile

The proceeds will be split between my ******** fund and my surgery fund.

Walmart's a start, but if I get lucky enough to at some point get a job at any of the four Starbucks locations in town, and stay there long enough to get on their health insurance package, I'll be set for life; they cover up to $50,000 in surgery, no questions asked. ( Then after I get what I want, I can bail for a better-paying job if I feel like it wink )

RE: complicated book, it's complicated even for me to plot out on paper, but I have a starting point and an ending point, with plenty of dots in between.

(My post got eaten TWICE evil )

Scholarships: I have enough self-respect to not do that. Also, trans students of either kind have had those kinds of scholarships pulled away for 'misrepresentation'.

"Physically": Testosterone is extremely potent, so much that I have to change my documents ASAP lol. Thankfully I can, because in IL and CA, I just need to have a doctor's verification that I've been on testosterone long enough to look unmistakably male in public (my interpretation, actual requirement is the much broader "sufficient treatment"). I could have done this as early as last December but I'm waiting until just after my birthday so I don't have to pay twice for the 21+ ID.

Degree: CS is saturated in my town by folks from the much more prestigious local uni (UIUC). Between that and my crumbling expectations in life, I decided to stop with an Associate's. Incidentally, CS is moving toward portfolio-based qualifications as opposed to degree-based, probably to filter out all the people who pursued the degree because mummy told them it would make them rich. I have enough fee time, I might take up Android app development in the future.

Walmart v Starbucks: I'd like to get paid while waiting on that magic call back from Starbucks, you get me? razz

Lifting: I found that I can lift and carry a 35lb box of cat litter by the handle without too much trouble...already a big improvement lol.

Goodies: It depends on the state. Texas requires GRS with no exceptions, for instance. Some states require some surgery, but don't specify which procedure. A few don't allow changes to be made to it at all.

When looking at people in public, surgery wouldn't change anything that wasn't already altered by prosthetics or shapewear worn under the clothes.

On the medical front, my past would be readily apparent but because of my hormonal profile any changes in risks for health problems (unrelated to goodies) are closer to male percentages, for better or worse. For example, I have an increased risk of heart problems and high blood pressure, but I don't have to worry as much about anemia, osteoporosis, or migraines.

Picture: My most recent picture doesn't show my face fuzz. If I were to take a picture now, you'd see the fuzz, but also a ton of acne. I'm going to wait until after I see a dermatologist lol.

Genymotion: My computer barely meets its minimum system requirements. Also, I'm no longer using Debian; I moved to Arch/Manjaro a while ago. I'm going to see what my distribution's official and community package lists have to offer before I go looking around elsewhere.

Starbucks: Ironically, it's tough to get hired at Starbucks. I'd be amazed if I get in before Walmart scoops me up.

That picture... saved. Next time I hear 'goodies' I'm postin' it lol

Treatment is given on basically a informed consent model these days; the formal requirements ('real life experience', therapy, etc) got much looser over time but I'm expected to know just about everything regarding treatment options, its other effects on my health, the social consequences, and at least some idea of the legal stuff (documents, rights). This rather unorthodox method favors those that wouldn't fare well with older requirements: the folks that couldn't pass for their target sex without HRT and/or are living in hostile areas.

It's not without its drawbacks though... Tumblr and other wretched hives of delusional narcissists have made a fashion statement out of the disorder, as they've done in the past (and in some cases, still do) with autism, depression, anxiety, OCD, personality disorders, PTSD(!! scream !!), and eating disorders. Because of the looser requirements, these fakes are able to 'transition'...and then eventually (shorter than later) de-transition when they either change their mind or realize it's no ******** joke when testosterone irreversably bricks their voice and makes them fat(ter) and bald and hairy. Except they've just made a joke of the legit trans folks in the eyes of the public in the midst of their (the legitimate ones') push for legal rights.

s**t, that was a rant... sweatdrop still, I'd rather have HRT be more accessible for those that need it, on the same principle as "rather have many guilty go free than one innocent punished".

OS: Arch is pretty nice -- fast, minimal, on the bleeding edge of Linux software development. It has a bad rep because of its user-unfriendly philosophy; things that would work 'out of the box' in other OSes sometimes have to be compiled and installed manually, and users have to be very attentive to the package lists so they don't end up installing a buggy update. It doesn't help that a vocal minority of its users are tryhards that endlessly bag on anyone else's choice of Linux distribution.

SB: Doesn't help that it's joked about as a place where college graduates end up working.

I don't keep tabs on celebrity news, though I saw Jenner stuff spammed on certain websites. I wish there wasn't a media circus.

Some people are salty over the whole thing though, 'cause she didn't transition until well after her career and family was established. I just think those people are being sour grapes because she looks great at her age and/or has the money to make it so.

The whole 'being rich' thing makes it easymode relative to other trans folks (many are working class, in poverty, or outright homeless), but that's still no reason to piss on someone's parade.

Also, there's an expected 'narrative', that everyone must have always known about their condition since they were like 4 or something, have had a violent reaction to it (eg. self-mutilation), and were either never able to repress it or they overcompensated for it (eg. joined the military and/or married and had children). Liking the same sex and/or hating any sexual contact at all prior to transition is sometimes also included in the narrative; a common knee-jerk response to bisexual or homosexual trans folks is to tell them to repress it ("What's the point if you like _____ anyway?" -- yes, I have gotten that before).

Whether the life story matches it to the letter or not, there is no winning. "You're a cliche" vs "You're faking".

Some minimization, some representation in a way that certain people don't like (whether it's the community or the masses).

Not that any 'street cred' is given for sucking up to them anyway, society wants us all to drink a hearty cup of bleach but wouldn't dare say so lol