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 Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 2:32 pm
Long post is going to be long. And I know all my posts in this thread are about the same thing, but here is the only place where I can freely rant. neutral
You may think I’m jealous of you.
But I’m not.
You may think I still have feelings for you.
But I don’t.
You may think that I’m being possessive of you.
But I’m not.
And if you think these things, then obviously you don’t know me very well. And you’re supposed to be my best friend?
You want to know why I’m so mad?
It’s because I’m sick of pretending that I’m okay with your relationship with your girlfriend. I’m not. It’s unhealthy. And I know you won’t agree with me. Hell, if I was in your position I wouldn’t agree with me either.
Want to know how I know this?
Because I did the
Exact.
Same.
Thing.
When I was still dating Sean I was unhappy whenever I was away from him. I would miss him, yes, but I would also think about the way he acted and the direction we were going and it just made me sad.
And then I saw him and I forgot all of that.
Because love blinds people. When they see the person they love they forget all of the negatives of their relationship.
This is what I see happening in you.
I don’t know your girlfriend. At all. So the only opinion I have of her is based off of what you have told me about her. Let me tell you, it isn’t positive. The only time you tell me about your girlfriend is when you’re complaining about her. Or talking about something stupid she said or did. Usually followed by “but she’s worth it.”
Why is she worth it, Nick? Because she’s willing to make out with you?
A healthy relationship shouldn’t be based off of sex. The person that you’re dating should make you happy, always. Even when you don’t get to see them in person. From what you’re told me you’re only happy when you get to see her. Maybe I’m wrong, this is just what I’ve observed from what you’ve told me.
A healthy relationship shouldn’t lead you to ditch your friends. If you’re so desperate to see her that you’re willing to leave your friends obviously something is wrong there.
Don’t like the fact that for one month out of the year you can’t make out with her while the sun is up? Get over it. That’s her religion. If you really love her you would accept that fact without complaining.
Don’t like the fact that you can’t see her while her dad is here? Well that’s how her family is. You can either break up with her and not have to deal with it, or accept that that is how her family is and stop complaining. Yeah, it sucks, but that’s what you signed up for when you stated dating her.
Is a relationship worth it if all you do is complain when you can’t see her, then make out with her when you can?
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 3:22 pm
Calling Shenanigans Long post is going to be long. And I know all my posts in this thread are about the same thing, but here is the only place where I can freely rant. neutral
You may think I’m jealous of you.
But I’m not.
You may think I still have feelings for you.
But I don’t.
You may think that I’m being possessive of you.
But I’m not.
And if you think these things, then obviously you don’t know me very well. And you’re supposed to be my best friend?
You want to know why I’m so mad?
It’s because I’m sick of pretending that I’m okay with your relationship with your girlfriend. I’m not. It’s unhealthy. And I know you won’t agree with me. Hell, if I was in your position I wouldn’t agree with me either.
Want to know how I know this?
Because I did the
Exact.
Same.
Thing.
When I was still dating Sean I was unhappy whenever I was away from him. I would miss him, yes, but I would also think about the way he acted and the direction we were going and it just made me sad.
And then I saw him and I forgot all of that.
Because love blinds people. When they see the person they love they forget all of the negatives of their relationship.
This is what I see happening in you.
I don’t know your girlfriend. At all. So the only opinion I have of her is based off of what you have told me about her. Let me tell you, it isn’t positive. The only time you tell me about your girlfriend is when you’re complaining about her. Or talking about something stupid she said or did. Usually followed by “but she’s worth it.”
Why is she worth it, Nick? Because she’s willing to make out with you?
A healthy relationship shouldn’t be based off of sex. The person that you’re dating should make you happy, always. Even when you don’t get to see them in person. From what you’re told me you’re only happy when you get to see her. Maybe I’m wrong, this is just what I’ve observed from what you’ve told me.
A healthy relationship shouldn’t lead you to ditch your friends. If you’re so desperate to see her that you’re willing to leave your friends obviously something is wrong there.
Don’t like the fact that for one month out of the year you can’t make out with her while the sun is up? Get over it. That’s her religion. If you really love her you would accept that fact without complaining.
Don’t like the fact that you can’t see her while her dad is here? Well that’s how her family is. You can either break up with her and not have to deal with it, or accept that that is how her family is and stop complaining. Yeah, it sucks, but that’s what you signed up for when you stated dating her.
Is a relationship worth it if all you do is complain when you can’t see her, then make out with her when you can?
You really know what an ideal relationship is... I'm glad to see that. Little Miss Fortune I HATE WRITING PAPERS! T____T
I put them off forever and get distracted by EVERYTHING! I make a huge deal out of it and spend more time trying to force myself to work on it than I do actually writing the damn thing. I'll sit there for an hour whimpering and complaining about how I don't wanna do it, and then I'll write like an entire page in a matter of minutes and then take a super long break and do the same thing all over again. I wish I could force myself into writing mode more quickly x__X SAME ******** HERE. D: But instead of writing a full page, I write like two sentences.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 3:30 pm
@ Foam: Maybe not ideal but at least healthy.. I can't stand to see my friend go through almost the same thing as I did.
I mean, when we first broke up it was horrible, we had been dating for a year and a half, which is a long time in high school. But once I realized how miserable I was it was an amazing feeling. I was free, no more sadness. I'm scared he'll never get to that point. emo
And he has the nerve to be mad at me for being mad at him for ditching his friends twice.. He thinks I'm jealous and that I'm still in love with him when I just want the best for him...
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 3:38 pm
Calling Shenanigans @ Foam: Maybe not ideal but at least healthy.. I can't stand to see my friend go through almost the same thing as I did.
I mean, when we first broke up it was horrible, we had been dating for a year and a half, which is a long time in high school. But once I realized how miserable I was it was an amazing feeling. I was free, no more sadness. I'm scared he'll never get to that point. emo
And he has the nerve to be mad at me for being mad at him for ditching his friends twice.. He thinks I'm jealous and that I'm still in love with him when I just want the best for him... Well, I hate to say this, but there might not be anything you can do for him. You can't help people who won't help themselves. As pessimistic as that sounds, it's most often true.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 3:52 pm
Foam-Dome Calling Shenanigans @ Foam: Maybe not ideal but at least healthy.. I can't stand to see my friend go through almost the same thing as I did.
I mean, when we first broke up it was horrible, we had been dating for a year and a half, which is a long time in high school. But once I realized how miserable I was it was an amazing feeling. I was free, no more sadness. I'm scared he'll never get to that point. emo
And he has the nerve to be mad at me for being mad at him for ditching his friends twice.. He thinks I'm jealous and that I'm still in love with him when I just want the best for him... Well, I hate to say this, but there might not be anything you can do for him. You can't help people who won't help themselves. As pessimistic as that sounds, it's most often true. You know he broke up with her once?
For about two hours.
Then he took her back because she became an uber-b***h and he didn't want her to feel bad.
Yeah.
So I just let him continue like this?
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 4:23 pm
I had to go buy some nail clippers because my fingernails are (by my standards) too long and it was literally distracting me from my reading. I mean, seriously, how the <********> can people stand to have fingernails that stick out like half a centimeter from their fingers? Every time I see someone with fingernails that long, it literally makes me cringe. Just... augh. No. But the fact that I couldn't just ignore it until after I finished my reading is what's really bothering me here. I mean, I needed to get nail clippers anyway, since I forgot to pack any, but it's just... *sigh* I hate it when having such strong obsessive-compulsive tendencies gets in the way of stuff that's actually important... Edit: Calling Shenanigans Foam-Dome Calling Shenanigans @ Foam: Maybe not ideal but at least healthy.. I can't stand to see my friend go through almost the same thing as I did.
I mean, when we first broke up it was horrible, we had been dating for a year and a half, which is a long time in high school. But once I realized how miserable I was it was an amazing feeling. I was free, no more sadness. I'm scared he'll never get to that point. emo
And he has the nerve to be mad at me for being mad at him for ditching his friends twice.. He thinks I'm jealous and that I'm still in love with him when I just want the best for him... Well, I hate to say this, but there might not be anything you can do for him. You can't help people who won't help themselves. As pessimistic as that sounds, it's most often true. You know he broke up with her once?
For about two hours.
Then he took her back because she became an uber-b***h and he didn't want her to feel bad.
Yeah.
So I just let him continue like this? Maybe if you could make him see that he needs to get out without actually letting him know that you're (still) trying to make him see it... sadly, I have no way of knowing how you could possibly do that, as you obviously know him better than I do, but... I dunno, lots of "casual" 'how's it going' questions and subtle hints? (or, you know, something more fitting...) I think Foam has a point, though, it sounds like there's not much you can do besides be there to support him and very subtly try to point him in the right direction.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:11 pm
Calling Shenanigans You know he broke up with her once?
For about two hours.
Then he took her back because she became an uber-b***h and he didn't want her to feel bad.
Yeah.
So I just let him continue like this? I fail to see why acting like an uber-b***h would make him want to take her back. Had I been in his position, I would have said to her, "Thank you for reassuring me that I made the right decision." Then I would have turned around and walked away. Anyway, unless he tries to marry this chick and set his future misery in stone for the rest of his life, you shouldn't intervene too much. If he eventually breaks up with her, then that means he's learned some sort of lesson. But if he tries to marry her, then you should definitely do whatever you can to keep him from screwing himself out of a happy life. If she really is as bitchy as you describe, then a marriage with her will either result in a miserable adulthood on his part, or a financially devastating divorce. junodog I mean, seriously, how the <********> can people stand to have fingernails that stick out like half a centimeter from their fingers? Every time I see someone with fingernails that long, it literally makes me cringe. Just... augh. No. *...looks down at his fingers* Yeah, I guess it's time for a trim, huh?
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:19 pm
Your situation sounds exactly like one I had, except I was the shitty friend in my case. I was dating this a*****e in high school, and one of my best friends told me that she didn't think our relationship was very healthy. I flipped out on her and told her she didn't know anything about us and accused her of being jealous... pretty much the same way your friend is. Eventually, I realized the same thing for myself and I dumped the guy, but my friend and I still haven't been as close since then.
I know your intentions are good, just like my friend's intentions were, but maybe this is the kind of thing that the person needs to figure out on their own, unfortunately. I just hope he can figure it out faster than I did (*cough*3&1/2years*cough*), before he pushes away all of his friends D=
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:20 pm
Okay so I talked to him today and told him how I feel and he said that I was right. He just needed someone to make him see it.
He say's he's afraid to break her heart. He's the type of guy that can be too nice sometimes- trying to make everyone else happy, and not thinking about himself.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:24 pm
Little Miss Fortune
Your situation sounds exactly like one I had, except I was the shitty friend in my case. I was dating this a*****e in high school, and one of my best friends told me that she didn't think our relationship was very healthy. I flipped out on her and told her she didn't know anything about us and accused her of being jealous... pretty much the same way your friend is. Eventually, I realized the same thing for myself and I dumped the guy, but my friend and I still haven't been as close since then.
I know your intentions are good, just like my friend's intentions were, but maybe this is the kind of thing that the person needs to figure out on their own, unfortunately. I just hope he can figure it out faster than I did (*cough*3&1/2years*cough*), before he pushes away all of his friends D=They've only been dating for 7 months. He told her about how I was mad at him last night and all day today she's been texting him things like "It's all my fault" and "So are you going to break up with me?"
He honestly doesn't know how to reply to her.
Like I said above, he doesn't want to break her heart. But he told me he's going to break up with her.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:27 pm
Calling Shenanigans They've only been dating for 7 months. He told her about how I was mad at him last night and all day today she's been texting him things like "It's all my fault" and "So are you going to break up with me?"
He honestly doesn't know how to reply to her.
Like I said above, he doesn't want to break her heart. But he told me he's going to break up with her.
Well, it's good that he's breaking up with her. I hope he goes through with it!
There's not really an easy way to end a relationship, though. She'll probably be upset no matter how nicely he tells her... x__X
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 5:33 pm
Little Miss Fortune Calling Shenanigans They've only been dating for 7 months. He told her about how I was mad at him last night and all day today she's been texting him things like "It's all my fault" and "So are you going to break up with me?"
He honestly doesn't know how to reply to her.
Like I said above, he doesn't want to break her heart. But he told me he's going to break up with her.
Well, it's good that he's breaking up with her. I hope he goes through with it!
There's not really an easy way to end a relationship, though. She'll probably be upset no matter how nicely he tells her... x__XYeah, that's what I told him. My one and only relationship was for a year and a half, and the dude broke up with me. I was heartbroken for a while, but after a month or so I realized how unhappy I was and was glad that we broke up. (Now the guy is acting like I was the one to break up with him.. but thats a whole other story).
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 7:28 pm
Stop asking me about him. When I broke up with him I thought it was obvious enough I wanted him out of my life, I don't need my mother bringing it up. When I said "I don't care" I figured you would just drop the subject. You had to keep pushing until I told you his last adoptive kicked him out 'cause they couldn't handle him anymore. He's not the quiet sweet little boy you think he is.
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:06 pm
I've recently found out what's wrong with me..
Since I was a kid... I would wake up but wasn't able to move, talk, scream... blink.. anything... and I could barely breath. It felt like someone was choking me or sitting on my chest.. and I'd always get this feeling like someone or some"thing" was in my room. Freaked me the ******** out. Well, it happened several times last night and I remember it very well.. I talked to my mom about it, so she talked to her doctor friends. They called her back and said what it was, or what it sounded like. It's kind of a self diagnosis thing, really.
Sleep Paralysis.
Basically, your body is "asleep" but your brain is awake.. Your brain fails to send out the signals for your body to move and it causes your body to be temporarily paralyzed.. this can last a few seconds.. several moments.. minutes.. etc etc. Usually for me, it lasts a few minutes. Anywho. The most common symptoms are people saying it feels like someone is in the room with them.. something evil.. something sitting on their chest or choking them and they hear voices/foot steps/ etc which makes them think it's the work of the "devil" or something..
Most of these symptoms I actually get.. I can't breath because it feels like something is sitting on my chest AND choking me.. I hear stuff (easily paranoid anyhow) and it feels like someone or some"thing" is in the room with me. So as a little kid, I'm thinking it's Freddy or Chuckie... xD I know.. stupid but.. it really freaks me out.
There isn't like... a cure or anything that I could find or even medication. It just says for you to go to bed when you get tired, get a decent amount of sleep, keep a regular sleeping habit, etc etc.. Which I normally do sleep when I'm tired.. I get about 9 hours or so and my sleeping habits don't change often unless something causes it to change. It kinda sucks.. but I'm learning to relax instead of freak out every time it happens.. I hate relaxing because my natural instinct is to fight it and kick someone's a**... xD but no one is there so like.. there is no point..
dskfhjkdf
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Posted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 9:10 pm
I feel pathetic and like a loser for being on Gaia still rofl
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