|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 10:38 am
Oh. Lion! You're absolutely the best--you know, you took the words right out of my mouth this time. Mega-post. Genius.
Well, yeah. I guess I'm going to have to seriously move myself in the same direction if I'm going to get anywhere at all. *sigh* It's easier to say than to do, I guess.
-LD
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 10:57 am
I'd like to add a note here. Whenever I contradict my little brother, I am right. Always. I know it sounds--is--vindictive, but there it is. With no exception.
Just thought you should know.
-LD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:13 am
Oh Andrew, every time I come back to a huge post like that it brings a mix of joy and sadness to my heart. Joy from seeing you change and shift and become who you are with the level of understanding you do have. Sadness because I can't be there with you to see the change first hand, and to walk through it with you as you go.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:50 am
*sigh* I know, dear. It's enough that I share your wistfulness--it connects us in a way that is deeper than physical contact, although I'd be lying if I said a part of me doesn't want you here with me, too.
---
I had a dream last night.
...
Hold on, let me back up a bit. Did I ever mention an older guy from my church at the Y? Well, he's an Elder, and I see him off and on when I work out. Kind of regularly irregularly. Anyway, I gave him my email address, and he said he'd keep in touch. I kind of shrugged it off--I don't really care one way or the other with him. But I saw him again at the Valentine's Day Pot Roast (which was about as fun as it sounds... stare ) that Saturday, and he sent me an email a few days later, which I got late at night during a fever. I sent an honest, if scalding reply about how the church would fall if it didn't change with the times, and how I wouldn't mind so terribly if it did.
...
But I had a dream last night. Or this morning, I guess, since I woke up, rolled over, and went back to sleep somewhere between 6:30 and 7:00.
Anyway, in the dream, I was at church, and it seemed totally different. For one, there were pregnant women everywhere, with their husbands, and a number of children running around. I sat down by an older friend of mine, Colleen. There was a girl at the communion rail who looked older, with very, very long brown hair, and I realized that I knew her from a long time ago. Colleen said I looked sad. I told her, simply, that she was growing up.
Then, as we were cleaning the second story balcony thing, the church was giving us directions on how to clean it. Each room had a specific way it had to be cleaned--down to individuals cleaning at times. It was all very strange.
...
I woke up, and I was shocked. Not because of the dream itself--although really, it should have been enough. I was shocked at the animosity I felt towards it. Didn't those women understand they were being oppressed? That they were indoctrinating their children with a cruelty as well as a faith? Why does the church get to tell us how to clean it's closets?
Why the hell--
How the hell did the church survive!?!
...
That's it, right there. Teeth bared, eyes wild, angry and sad and scared all at the same time. That wicked behemoth of a church still stands, and worse, its dogma of cruelty and exclusion, hypocrisy and fundamentalism, still lives!
And I want it to die, so badly.
I probably shouldn't. I should just let it live, and go my separate way. But there is a part of me--a dark, dangerous part of me--that seriously wants to tear that church down brick by brick. And to hell with heresy!
...
Oh yeah. If I ever needed proof of a personal demon, this is it. I loathe the church. No. The Church. A twisted, wrongful hold on a religion, twisted further by power and warped more by time and the movements of a new age.
It's time for The Church to fall. But do I have to be the hammer blow?
...
Time will tell.
-Leavaros Dapple
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 4:34 pm
Just finished watching Kiddy Grade. That show gets better every time I see it.
-LD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 8:01 pm
Careful Lea, you're approaching that thick line between free speech and what some would call a terrorist proposal.
While it is difficult to imagine such a medieval body to exist, you need to understand that it was in those times that the church flourished. You could tear one down, you could tear all of them down. The millions of cultists would simply build them again, build them holier, more sacred. Their buildings would become the mortar of their martyrdom and their bricks both the shield and the weapon to hurl against you.
Killing the church would require an awful lot of human sacrifice, and neither you now your demon have it in you do spill so copiously, so furtively that such bloodletting would turn any desert or ocean into dirty rose darkness.
The world is not ready to cede something so old as the church nor its sacred religion. I would however, applaud you for trying.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 8:04 pm
Guys, I thought I should post a link to my official... FAVORITE ORACLE FOR HIRE PAGE EVER!!!(What can I say? The prospect of a cross-dressing sword-fight is simply delicious!) Closely followed by this.*avoids stares* What? I think it's funny.And anyway, I for one am tired of seeing anime girls who seem to have magical powers and implants. (Where are all my...ah...*big* guys?) -Leavy-Kun
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:36 am
Ah, I remember both those updates fondly... Szark is one of my favorite characters. <3 Hehe.
I love that you brought up that first one... <3 Its lovely.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 12:53 pm
The Great Lion Careful Lea, you're approaching that thick line between free speech and what some would call a terrorist proposal. While it is difficult to imagine such a medieval body to exist, you need to understand that it was in those times that the church flourished. You could tear one down, you could tear all of them down. The millions of cultists would simply build them again, build them holier, more sacred. Their buildings would become the mortar of their martyrdom and their bricks both the shield and the weapon to hurl against you. Killing the church would require an awful lot of human sacrifice, and neither you now your demon have it in you do spill so copiously, so furtively that such bloodletting would turn any desert or ocean into dirty rose darkness. The world is not ready to cede something so old as the church nor its sacred religion. I would however, applaud you for trying. *sigh* I know, Lion, I know. But it doesn't change the feeling. There is a deep loathing in my soul for The Church. But it isn't really...I don't know how to put it. I embrace the idea of having a community of the faithful, and of having belief in something greater than ourselves. It's just that I get sick inside when I see people holding up 'God Hates Fags' signs or saying things like 'Evolution is the Devil's Art' or...well, whatever. It's...it's tainted. I feel like it shouldn't have ever existed in the context that it does now--and certainly not to the ends that it seems to seek. In this case, ignorance and intolerance. The people, ironically, are the only way to fell such a thing. There are many ways to do it, I should think. The physical process of a slaughter is one, and procreating a number of people another, albeit both are ineffective unless on a huge scale. The spiritual process of undermining or renewing (replacing?) faith are others, probably more effective on a large time scale. But what of the mental process? What effect could it have? The technological advances of time, and the social, have always put stress on The Church, and pulled followers from it. The problem with The Church is that it becomes what replaces it (e.g. Christianity and Old Paganism). Only time and truth can ever cut away its corrupted limbs. --- Tommy! Yeah, Szark's precious, isn't he? Oh, if he were only flesh and blood! -LeaVaros
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 1:45 pm
I really can't agree with you in your feelings, Leav, and it pains me to see such venom in a heart like yours. Like the people you're angry at, you're ignoring their viewpoint, and taking their ignorance of yours personally. If you get mad, you're just becoming the same thing you're angry at.
The answer isn't to "get rid" of anybody. It's to get to know each other. I was a homophobe too until I met gay friends who weren't scary (and yes, I initially met some who were really creepy). If those friends had felt the same way you do about Christians, I would still be on the side of the sign carriers.
Peace out, dood,
~KK
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 2:58 pm
The thing is I thought I had...sucked out all the poison. Until I had that dream, and everything came swirling back. You're right, KiyoKyo, and I know that. I do, really. But there's a part of me that isn't as willing to see what is in front of me.
It's venom. That's the perfect word for it. It's an old grudge dwelling in an old wound. And it's a deep, deep wound that I don't ever think really healed fully. I...it isn't enough to say that 'I'm sorry I feel this way', and I know it's wrong to say 'I feel this way and there's nothing that can change it'. But it's gonna take some time, and a little bit of soul-searching. I need to find my faith again, and put this demon to rest once and for all.
I know that. But do you really think this is just about my sexuality? Please. How shallow do you think I am? How selfish? No. Don't answer that. It's about the way The Church operates--as if the minority is always the heretic and the non-canon is heresy by its nature. That it's okay to accept things on face value, if they happen to be written *somewhere* in a book--even a book of belief, of faith. That such books outside its spectrum are often considered at best sinful and at worst Satanic. Even within the same religion! *sigh* It's wrong when divisions of faith hurt the whole.
I don't think my problem is the idea of a Church. I think it's more in its application. I don't appreciate the thought that someone could choose not to talk to me because of what I am, and a whole group of people are willing to accept that. In this, perhaps, I am being selfish. But what about the Mormon boys and girls who come out of the closet and are excommunicated--thrown out of their homes with no connection to their family? Is that faith? What truth is there, KiyoKyo? Or the KKK lynching blacks in the south? Is that 'loving your neighbor'? It isn't limited to Christianity, either. It seems to me that all religions have issues. Even ones that are 'idealized', like Buddhism (at least here), have a history of corruption. I don't think I need to point to the Old Pagans flaws--not least among them was blood sacrifice as a basic rite, and human sacrifice, at times. Or to modern day radical Islam and terrorism.
My heart is heavy with these thoughts, but I must admit that I don't have enough blind faith to simply ignore it. And to be honest, I don't want that, either--although it is tempting, at times. I want to be able to find a way that people can listen to one another without hostility. But first I must purge myself of that...hatred. *sigh* I guess saying it doesn't change the fact that it's there. There must be a better way. There must!
But I swear I'm not going to let things stay the same. Not like this.
-Andrew
P.S. I don't think you're right, though.... About anger, I mean. It's about being angry in the right way, and not letting it become the wrong way. Anger tells us when there is something wrong. And there is definitely something wrong. But sometimes, I think, anger spurs us to motion, to act to try to change something. It's just about the proper channeling of said anger. And not letting it gain control. Like I had.
P.P.S. I'm really, really glad I met you online, KiyoKyo. I don't think you'd take a liking to me very closely in real life--for any number of reasons. But one in particular is that I have a natural talent for...upsetting people. And for frightening them.
P.P.P.S. It isn't Christians that I have problems with. It isn't even Christianity on a whole--look at all the gay-friendly churches that have sprung up, or the 'liberal' churches when it come to stem-cell research or evolutionism. But the (mainstream(s)) Church infuriates me sometimes. Way more than it should. Way more than I should let it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:02 pm
Drew... that was... wow. Calling it honest and heartfelt almost feels like an insult, but it is what it is. Its as if your words just drew a road map to how but a few of my internal workings operate. If what I'm saying sounds corny its because I don't feel well and my lexicon has already taken a beating from writing Dungeons and Dragon's adventures.
I'm not sure if you read too much into what his original post said Kiyoshi but Drew doesn't attack Christians. In fact, not once does he even mention what religion he's attending, so you're jumping the gun on your judgement, something I've never seen you do before. I don't mean to attack you, but I just felt I should point that out, I don't mean to defend Drew either, he needs his unslackened lashings and hits just like everyone else does.
And again, I don't mean to aim the arrow of insult at you or your religion, but should you care to look into the history of organized, practised faith, you'll notice a bloody swath that was cut by all sides so that they could keep living. The hypocrisy is undeniably justified by the killing of those who aren't in line and alter community thought.
It must be my melancholy mood because I really don't know what to think. On one hand, the church and religion has every right to alienate if not attempt to rid its communities of divergence. And on the flip side, those who are divergent have every right to fight back, even pre-emptively, to prevent such an attack. It is the paradox of that which ails us should be cut free, but since it is an objective, natural doctrine, it applies to both sides. One could even argue that human beings would be better off if human beings didn't exist.
And Andy, don't say such things like that. Many people like you, and I'm sure a few choose not to for other reasons than you being a rather flamboyant chap. If someone can't like you for you than they don't appreciate the full cost of what it has taken for you to become you. I'm sure you and Kiyoshi would mesh swimmingly, it may be a somewhat strained, if not argumentative relationship.
Points of view shouldn't be overlooked merely because of convenience.
Justin
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 9:26 pm
I think I can see where you're coming from, Justin, at least philosophically. The Church has a right to manage its own affairs. Everything does. But we have to remember that The Church itself is a conglomerate of souls. (Huh. You know, "We Are The Church" used to be one of my favorite songs, too.) The Church doesn't have the right to weed out groups it sees unfit for membership, or even discriminate between them, solely based on the 'what'. Leave that for the governments. The Church should be about embracing the 'who'.
And while we're on the topic, I didn't feel it would be productive to point out the 'jumping of the gun'. I feel like I've seen a lot more of Brad Talton here than I've ever seen before, and error or not, I'm glad to see it.
And I blushed like hell at the 'soul like yours' part. I didn't see that coming, I'll give you that. I never blush. Ever. That's quite an achievement. I hope one day, you'll come to appreciate that just like I do when I get my straight boys to blush.
And I think I'm coming to understand that, too. *warm sigh* But I'll leave that revelation for another night. I'm tired.
Love and Vale, all, and Goodnight.
-Andrew
P.S. Don't call me Andy. Please.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 6:33 pm
Bow before Leavy-Kun, the killer of threads!
-Leavy-Kun
P.S. No, seriously, I have a talent for it.
P.P.S. I finished OFH. It was pretty good. It was puntastic.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 7:49 pm
Heard this in Tay's car yesterday (she drove me home). Three words guys: Yes. And. Win. Precaution though--it's PG-13. -LD EDIT: The best part is definitely her face at the very end. EDIT EDIT: Seriously, this just keeps getting better as you keep watching it (every time!)! Hilarious!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
