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 Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 7:54 pm
Basically for me it boils down to the fact that my son's need to eat is more important to me then your comfort level. Don't like it then don't look.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 9:00 pm
~   ~
Especially since I'll be bfing in the summer mostly.
It's hot in the summer and she shouldn't have to have a heavy blanket over her head to eat.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2008 10:47 pm
You know, I am not a breastfeeder. I chose not to with both my children for personal reasons.
However, that does not mean I trivialize the process nor pretend to understand how hard it is. And it IS hard. That's why so many women give up, take classes, get a lactation consultant. A pump is not a substitute for a baby to trigger milk production.
I have enough knowledge to know that a good latch covers the n****e anyways. I've NEVER run into a mother that was just whipping it out. Neither picture offends me. Please understand that people vary on their parenting decisions and it can be downright non-understanding to see.
Why is it always on the mothers to be courteous and private? What about the leerers?
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 2:09 am
It's not leerering. I just absolutely can't understand why there can't be a solution that can't make everyone happy- it's called a comprimise. Like this.  It's a nursing tank, it's not hot, it's not expensive, it doesn't require pumping ((which I was not advacating as a replacement for nursing, just a short substitute.)) it comes in different styles and colors for summer and winter. Or why not create a petition for larger stores and malls to have a special space for mothers to nurse their babies.
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:21 am
Well I am not seeing how it is a comprimise when I am the one expected to go out and spend extra money on a special shirt just so you don't have to be uncomfortable. I have a closet full of shirts and honestly I don't have the extra money to blow and a top like that no matter how inexpensive it is.
Edited to add: I am also one of those women who tried pumping and couldn't. For some women, like Dirge and I, pumping isn't even a short term option.
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 11:02 am
Wow, may I ask why all the intolerance? Did you have some tramatic experiance involing breasts? Breastfeeding is the natural, normal thing to do. It's what breasts are for. Is it offensive to seen a woman in a bikini, or a bra?
There are plenty of people who wish we, as parents, weren't allowed to bring our childern to the stores or restrauntes, or movie theaters period. Single people who can't stand any kids, breastfed or otherwise. What if one of these people came in here and started trying to tell you about how they can't stand you being a mother and how you should be forced to shop only in a certain part of the store, or pay money for a babysitter evertime you go anywhere. How your child is gross and offensive to them. It's not fair, it's rude and intolerant. It's your choice to be a mother, just as it is a choice to breast feed. Why do breastfeeding mother need to feel like they are doing something dirty, it's what breast are for! Just because someone invented bottles doesn't make breastfeeding wrong.
What it boils down to is that as humans we all offend each other, we all do things other don't like, and don't like things that others do, but that's what's great about living in free country. You have every right to be offended, and I have just as much right to offend you. But neither of us can tell the other how to live. So next time you see a breastfeeding mother just try to think about how she must be feeling. She knows people like you are looking at her, hating her, judging her. It's not easy breastfeeding, but it's her choice, and nothing she's doing deserves your scorn. Maybe instead of worring about her breasts, you should think about minding your own business.
PS have you ever used a breast pump? It's not as simple as it seems.
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 12:18 pm
*applaudes* Beautifully said! With that I am done with this discussion as everyone has already said anything else I could add!
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 3:43 pm
I don't think that it's unresonable or inconsiderate of me to ask you to take a little time to let others feel more comfortable. I tried offering several possible solutions, and none of them are reasonable?
You can't use a baby viel
You can't use a pump
You can't wear a top designed for discreet breastfeeding
You can't request a quiet place to do it privately
You can't find a somewhat secluded spot
You can't use a towel to cover yourself
You can't put the baby in a sling
Is it natural? Yes of course. Is it beautiful? Well, that's a matter of opinion. For a lot of people breastfeeding is something that makes them uncomfortable, and in the same way it's rude for them to ask you to leave, it's rude to ask them to leave when it makes them uneasy. Finding a middle ground is the foundation of society, and sence there is no way to change another persons opinion it's the most mature choice a person can make. This means that both sides have to make sacrifices, if you don't want people to comment on you feeding you little one in wal-mart, why not go just a little out of your way to find an option that works for you?
As for the pumping question, yes I did try it, unfortunatly I had a complicated birth that kept me from producing milk right, I just couldn't produce for then one or two onces a day. ((And yes I did have a tramatic experiance with breasts))
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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 10:37 pm
Ok, if all you are saying is "try to put a blanket over baby while he/she eats", then that's not to much to ask. From the replys so far and my personal experiance, that's what we do try to do. May I ask what sparked this, I've never seen anyone nursing with their breast fully exposed, is that what you are trying to say? That it's fine as long as your not completely exposed? I think most of us will agree to conced the point there, everyone who did/does breast feed has said they try to be discreet.
What does seem to be the rub of what you've said is this, the notion that you can just pump and carry it around like it's no big thing, the idea that mothers should be required to wear nursing wear whenever they go out, and asking that breast feeders go to a bathroom, or their car, or some completely private spot, if baby gets fussy while they're shopping or at the park, versus finding the first avalible bench. I don't think it's to much to ask that a woman not take half her top off and stroll around nursing through the store with it all hanging out. I will completely agree with asking someone not to do that. But if I'm in the store on a bench near the check out and wrap a blanket around us, and maybe it's not over baby's head because she pulled it off but I'm not being ostentatious about it, then it shouldn't effect anyone else, right?
You are right about compromise, so how about we all agree to disagree and not make anyone feel alienated because of their pesonal choices. The spirit of this guild is one of tolerance, so perhapes it's not the best place to share veiws that might hurt other, or cause them to say hurtful thing to you. There is nothing more hurtful to a mother than to attack her parenting. Maybe we should just let it go now?
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Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 9:16 am
~ ~
I have to agree. This seems to be something we're just not going to agree on. So, we should just let it go.
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Posted: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:12 am
Dear boxes: why can't you just unpack yourselves and make my move that much easier?
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Posted: Wed May 14, 2008 2:49 pm
~ ~
I have to giggle that people are still giving their children "Mike's Hard Lemonade" because they don't read the label and realize it's got alcohol in it. rolleyes Or even worse that people sympathize with him over not reading the label or noticing that's it's a malt drink and has alcohol in it. Especially since the label has the word Hard on it.
That or I could just be judgmental like that.
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Posted: Thu May 15, 2008 10:29 am
eek No, anything bought in the beer cooler and aisle usually has alcohol in it. Dude, WTF?
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Posted: Fri May 16, 2008 11:05 am
The deal with that story though is it was at a baseball game. I guess if you lived under a rock and didn't read the bottle when you bought or looked at it. I'm not excusing his actions and lack of interest in that, but I do think that taking his kid away was a bit extreme when there was no other sign of neglect/abuse.
I still don't see how you can possibly misconstrue the word "hard" or miss the percentages on it though.
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Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 5:04 pm
~ ~
Having his son taken away was a bit extreme, but I also agree that he should have been more cautious.
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