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 Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:15 am
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan I'm not happy. Something is missing.
I think it's the feeling of satisfaction you experience when you commit fully to something, you truly give it your all, and then you take a step back and say "That exists because of me." But I haven't been able to commit to anything since I was... I dunno, 14?
I used to be passionate about a lot of things. I used to pour my heart and soul into everything I did and always be 100% physically and mentally 'there'. Not thinking about how long it's gonna take or what I want to eat for dinner or who is talking to me on Skype or how it's going to turn out. And you know, I always really liked how my creations turned out. And most importantly, I could enjoy others' creations and give them the credit they deserved without comparing my own to them and determining which one is better or worse. I used to appreciate beauty, not measure it.
The truth is, I think now that I've spent this much time on the internet and seen just how talented my peers are, I'm afraid to focus. I'm afraid to give absolutely anything 100% of my attention and effort because I'm afraid it will be subpar. So I just decide, hey let's not even bother because x-person-I-want-to-learn-from is better than me anyway and that means I'm terrible. I've even half given up on my weight loss goals because I can't afford skin tightening surgery so I'm always going to look worse than x-body-I-want-to-have whether I weigh 130 or 300. I don't want to go through life feeling like nothing is worth doing because someone is always gonna be better at it, but I don't know how to stop feeding into that need to be the best. I just know it hasn't always been like this. I used to be mediocre, and I used to be happy about it.
I need to catch myself in the act and reprogram myself out of the superior/inferior mentality. That's the cause of everything I can think of in my immediate reality making me unhappy. And you know, it's stupid because I know better. The conscious part of me knows everyone is different and comparing me and x stranger is comparing apples and oranges, but the thought goes into my head every time I see even the smallest similarity between myself and somebody else. I need to catch it, and slap it on the wrist, and tell it to gtfo my brain. And I can do that if I apply myself and commit to it.
I just want to look at something I did and say "I like this and I am proud of this." Nothing more. Not "this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, this entire thing is garbage." And when I see something someone else did, I want to say "I like this and you did a good job of this." Not "this is wrong, this is wrong, you could have done that better, keep practicing." I don't want to be that person who's constantly critical of everything. I know I have the potential not to be.
Maybe I'll get back into poetry. I don't read much of the stuff, so I'll be less likely to make comparisons than I would with music or drawings. It might make a better outlet for these tl;dr rants that make me feel bad for anyone who feels obligated to read them, too.
Maybe I could see a psychiatrist instead. I don't want to take pills, but it might be nice to have someone who knows their way around thought patterns to help me challenge and reform them. In the meantime, there's probably a meditation or two somewhere on Youtube. Haha, I know that feeling. But it comes from the opposite direction, for me. I haven't done anything that I've felt is worth committing to in so long that I often feel like I can't put in the effort required. I mean, half the reason I enjoy baking so much is that it's creative, in the literal sense that something is created. It's more or less an art in itself, and I often bake just to feel better about myself. (Ironically, I've never eaten my way through depression. XD) Having created something of at least mediocre value helps me feel more confident about my skills in any situation, whether or not baking even applies. People always tell me that I'm really creative, and I always end up staring at them quizzically. But the truth is that I am creative, and it's demonstrated in the little things I do every day. People thought I would make a good engineer, solely because I'm good at solving problems since I try to approach things from different angles. I've had so many interesting ideas for stories or games or whatever, but I never bother to write them down since I know I haven't got the skills or resources to bring anything to fruition. Just ask Rhed, I once splayed out this entire set of characters and basic mechanics for an RPG, and he filled in a lot of the holes in my design. I just...What needs to happen is that I sit down and put effort into creating something. It doesn't matter what it is, and it doesn't matter if it's good. Setting that radio theater thing in motion in high school is one of the things I'm most proud of, and it's pretty terrible. But I'm proud of what it offers, and not for what it is. So I guess...I'm waiting. Not for something to come my way, but for something to strike me as an inspiring idea. Not as a writer, not as a baker, not as an engineer, and not as a designer, but just...as me. And that's fine, but I can't just wait. I have to go do things, meet people, find places, and have weird experiences. Because I can't just wait for inspiration to strike, I have to go find it myself. I don't even know what I'm writing, anymore. It's pretty much a jumble of ideas, and I know I'm going to regret saying so much about myself in one spot. But whatever, I guess. I'm just kind of...exhausted. No effort left, you know? Plenty of motivation, that's where people are wrong. Just no effort. Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:22 am
Cabron LaSwan Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan I'm not happy. Something is missing.
I think it's the feeling of satisfaction you experience when you commit fully to something, you truly give it your all, and then you take a step back and say "That exists because of me." But I haven't been able to commit to anything since I was... I dunno, 14?
I used to be passionate about a lot of things. I used to pour my heart and soul into everything I did and always be 100% physically and mentally 'there'. Not thinking about how long it's gonna take or what I want to eat for dinner or who is talking to me on Skype or how it's going to turn out. And you know, I always really liked how my creations turned out. And most importantly, I could enjoy others' creations and give them the credit they deserved without comparing my own to them and determining which one is better or worse. I used to appreciate beauty, not measure it.
The truth is, I think now that I've spent this much time on the internet and seen just how talented my peers are, I'm afraid to focus. I'm afraid to give absolutely anything 100% of my attention and effort because I'm afraid it will be subpar. So I just decide, hey let's not even bother because x-person-I-want-to-learn-from is better than me anyway and that means I'm terrible. I've even half given up on my weight loss goals because I can't afford skin tightening surgery so I'm always going to look worse than x-body-I-want-to-have whether I weigh 130 or 300. I don't want to go through life feeling like nothing is worth doing because someone is always gonna be better at it, but I don't know how to stop feeding into that need to be the best. I just know it hasn't always been like this. I used to be mediocre, and I used to be happy about it.
I need to catch myself in the act and reprogram myself out of the superior/inferior mentality. That's the cause of everything I can think of in my immediate reality making me unhappy. And you know, it's stupid because I know better. The conscious part of me knows everyone is different and comparing me and x stranger is comparing apples and oranges, but the thought goes into my head every time I see even the smallest similarity between myself and somebody else. I need to catch it, and slap it on the wrist, and tell it to gtfo my brain. And I can do that if I apply myself and commit to it.
I just want to look at something I did and say "I like this and I am proud of this." Nothing more. Not "this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong, this entire thing is garbage." And when I see something someone else did, I want to say "I like this and you did a good job of this." Not "this is wrong, this is wrong, you could have done that better, keep practicing." I don't want to be that person who's constantly critical of everything. I know I have the potential not to be.
Maybe I'll get back into poetry. I don't read much of the stuff, so I'll be less likely to make comparisons than I would with music or drawings. It might make a better outlet for these tl;dr rants that make me feel bad for anyone who feels obligated to read them, too.
Maybe I could see a psychiatrist instead. I don't want to take pills, but it might be nice to have someone who knows their way around thought patterns to help me challenge and reform them. In the meantime, there's probably a meditation or two somewhere on Youtube. Haha, I know that feeling. But it comes from the opposite direction, for me. I haven't done anything that I've felt is worth committing to in so long that I often feel like I can't put in the effort required. I mean, half the reason I enjoy baking so much is that it's creative, in the literal sense that something is created. It's more or less an art in itself, and I often bake just to feel better about myself. (Ironically, I've never eaten my way through depression. XD) Having created something of at least mediocre value helps me feel more confident about my skills in any situation, whether or not baking even applies. People always tell me that I'm really creative, and I always end up staring at them quizzically. But the truth is that I am creative, and it's demonstrated in the little things I do every day. People thought I would make a good engineer, solely because I'm good at solving problems since I try to approach things from different angles. I've had so many interesting ideas for stories or games or whatever, but I never bother to write them down since I know I haven't got the skills or resources to bring anything to fruition. Just ask Rhed, I once splayed out this entire set of characters and basic mechanics for an RPG, and he filled in a lot of the holes in my design. I just...What needs to happen is that I sit down and put effort into creating something. It doesn't matter what it is, and it doesn't matter if it's good. Setting that radio theater thing in motion in high school is one of the things I'm most proud of, and it's pretty terrible. But I'm proud of what it offers, and not for what it is. So I guess...I'm waiting. Not for something to come my way, but for something to strike me as an inspiring idea. Not as a writer, not as a baker, not as an engineer, and not as a designer, but just...as me. And that's fine, but I can't just wait. I have to go do things, meet people, find places, and have weird experiences. Because I can't just wait for inspiration to strike, I have to go find it myself. I don't even know what I'm writing, anymore. It's pretty much a jumble of ideas, and I know I'm going to regret saying so much about myself in one spot. But whatever, I guess. I'm just kind of...exhausted. No effort left, you know? Plenty of motivation, that's where people are wrong. Just no effort. Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality. It's...overwhelming, when it comes down to it. Somewhere along the line, I've lost the ability to only look at what's directly in front of me instead of thinking about all the things it's connected to, or what comes after, or what it means. I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm very content, really. I just wish I could figure out how to force myself over this particular issue.
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:30 am
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality. It's...overwhelming, when it comes down to it. Somewhere along the line, I've lost the ability to only look at what's directly in front of me instead of thinking about all the things it's connected to, or what comes after, or what it means.I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm very content, really. I just wish I could figure out how to force myself over this particular issue. If I were having this conversation with my father, he'd call that "growing up".
As for me, I find the hardest parts are the distractions. I know for a fact that if I'm going to start seriously writing anything, I'm going to have to disable my Internet connection while I'm doing it to avoid alt+tabbing to the group Skype chat every time I can't think of what to put next. lol That is actually something I miss about my shitty win98 computer on dialup; I only got x amount of time online a day because it tied up the phone line and I couldn't play any games that weren't on a SNES emulator, so there was nothing to do but write, or draw, or play guitar.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:44 am
Cabron LaSwan
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality. It's...overwhelming, when it comes down to it. Somewhere along the line, I've lost the ability to only look at what's directly in front of me instead of thinking about all the things it's connected to, or what comes after, or what it means.I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm very content, really. I just wish I could figure out how to force myself over this particular issue. If I were having this conversation with my father, he'd call that "growing up".
As for me, I find the hardest parts are the distractions. I know for a fact that if I'm going to start seriously writing anything, I'm going to have to disable my Internet connection while I'm doing it to avoid alt+tabbing to the group Skype chat every time I can't think of what to put next. lol That is actually something I miss about my shitty win98 computer on dialup; I only got x amount of time online a day because it tied up the phone line and I couldn't play any games that weren't on a SNES emulator, so there was nothing to do but write, or draw, or play guitar. That's not the same thing in the slightest, though. It's like assuming that academic intelligence and common sense are the same thing and summing it up in "smart." /:< Hah, I'd be lying if I said distractions weren't a problem. ADD doesn't just disappear. But the thing is, even if I were to remove all external distractions, it still wouldn't be much better. Even without anything in my way, a good portion of all my distractions are internal. It's not uncommon for me to be lost in thought and not come out of it for another hour. I suppose it's part of why I'm so patient ( I can keep myself entertained for days with literally nothing but my mind XD), but it's mildly annoying when i catch myself and half an hour has gone by.
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 10:51 am
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality. It's...overwhelming, when it comes down to it. Somewhere along the line, I've lost the ability to only look at what's directly in front of me instead of thinking about all the things it's connected to, or what comes after, or what it means.I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm very content, really. I just wish I could figure out how to force myself over this particular issue. If I were having this conversation with my father, he'd call that "growing up".
As for me, I find the hardest parts are the distractions. I know for a fact that if I'm going to start seriously writing anything, I'm going to have to disable my Internet connection while I'm doing it to avoid alt+tabbing to the group Skype chat every time I can't think of what to put next. lol That is actually something I miss about my shitty win98 computer on dialup; I only got x amount of time online a day because it tied up the phone line and I couldn't play any games that weren't on a SNES emulator, so there was nothing to do but write, or draw, or play guitar. That's not the same thing in the slightest, though. It's like assuming that academic intelligence and common sense are the same thing and summing it up in "smart." /:< Hah, I'd be lying if I said distractions weren't a problem. ADD doesn't just disappear. But the thing is, even if I were to remove all external distractions, it still wouldn't be much better. Even without anything in my way, a good portion of all my distractions are internal. It's not uncommon for me to be lost in thought and not come out of it for another hour. I suppose it's part of why I'm so patient ( I can keep myself entertained for days with literally nothing but my mind XD), but it's mildly annoying when i catch myself and half an hour has gone by. I know. I don't agree with it as the 'proper' way to go about things, but I do think it's a product of things you are taught on the way to adulthood. Have a realistic goal for the future, be prepared for anything, plan three steps ahead of your actions. These are all things that get drilled into you constantly. Everything has to go somewhere, it can't just be. It's probably a large source of the pressure felt by most members of society.
So is it hard for you to get absorbed in things, then? I mean, personally, when I cut out all the distractions and just go, I get sucked into what I'm doing and it's all I am thinking about until I'm done. Despite your ADD, I've always seen you as that sort of person - someone who can really make things happen if he's passionate about it.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:04 am
Cabron LaSwan Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality. It's...overwhelming, when it comes down to it. Somewhere along the line, I've lost the ability to only look at what's directly in front of me instead of thinking about all the things it's connected to, or what comes after, or what it means.I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm very content, really. I just wish I could figure out how to force myself over this particular issue. If I were having this conversation with my father, he'd call that "growing up".
As for me, I find the hardest parts are the distractions. I know for a fact that if I'm going to start seriously writing anything, I'm going to have to disable my Internet connection while I'm doing it to avoid alt+tabbing to the group Skype chat every time I can't think of what to put next. lol That is actually something I miss about my shitty win98 computer on dialup; I only got x amount of time online a day because it tied up the phone line and I couldn't play any games that weren't on a SNES emulator, so there was nothing to do but write, or draw, or play guitar. That's not the same thing in the slightest, though. It's like assuming that academic intelligence and common sense are the same thing and summing it up in "smart." /:< Hah, I'd be lying if I said distractions weren't a problem. ADD doesn't just disappear. But the thing is, even if I were to remove all external distractions, it still wouldn't be much better. Even without anything in my way, a good portion of all my distractions are internal. It's not uncommon for me to be lost in thought and not come out of it for another hour. I suppose it's part of why I'm so patient ( I can keep myself entertained for days with literally nothing but my mind XD), but it's mildly annoying when i catch myself and half an hour has gone by. I know. I don't agree with it as the 'proper' way to go about things, but I do think it's a product of things you are taught on the way to adulthood. Have a realistic goal for the future, be prepared for anything, plan three steps ahead of your actions. These are all things that get drilled into you constantly. Everything has to go somewhere, it can't just be. It's probably a large source of the pressure felt by most members of society.
So is it hard for you to get absorbed in things, then? I mean, personally, when I cut out all the distractions and just go, I get sucked into what I'm doing and it's all I am thinking about until I'm done. Despite your ADD, I've always seen you as that sort of person - someone who can really make things happen if he's passionate about it. You're right, of course. "Growing up" as we define it isn't just the proverbial loss of innocence, but also the understanding and insight that comes with knowledge and wisdom gained through the course of a life. As far as I'm concerned, we're never done growing up. xd I kind of snickered at that. xd "Absorbed" is one way to put it. "Obsessed" is almost more accurate. It's almost like tunnel vision, where nothing else even exists until whatever's at hand is not only completed, but perfected. It's comical in a lot of situations, especially when I'm depending on other people. I always end up pushing them out of the way and doing it all myself, which gets really funny for group projects in school. xd But yeah, that happens. I love the feeling, and I can't get enough of it. It's basically what I live for. biggrin
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:12 am
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Yeah, I know what you mean. Sometimes I think it'd be nice to be able to approach the world like a kid again, to look at things you wanna do and just do them without thinking about the holes you have to fill in or the hoops you have to jump through to make it a reality. It's...overwhelming, when it comes down to it. Somewhere along the line, I've lost the ability to only look at what's directly in front of me instead of thinking about all the things it's connected to, or what comes after, or what it means.I mean, I'm not unhappy. I'm very content, really. I just wish I could figure out how to force myself over this particular issue. If I were having this conversation with my father, he'd call that "growing up".
As for me, I find the hardest parts are the distractions. I know for a fact that if I'm going to start seriously writing anything, I'm going to have to disable my Internet connection while I'm doing it to avoid alt+tabbing to the group Skype chat every time I can't think of what to put next. lol That is actually something I miss about my shitty win98 computer on dialup; I only got x amount of time online a day because it tied up the phone line and I couldn't play any games that weren't on a SNES emulator, so there was nothing to do but write, or draw, or play guitar. That's not the same thing in the slightest, though. It's like assuming that academic intelligence and common sense are the same thing and summing it up in "smart." /:< Hah, I'd be lying if I said distractions weren't a problem. ADD doesn't just disappear. But the thing is, even if I were to remove all external distractions, it still wouldn't be much better. Even without anything in my way, a good portion of all my distractions are internal. It's not uncommon for me to be lost in thought and not come out of it for another hour. I suppose it's part of why I'm so patient ( I can keep myself entertained for days with literally nothing but my mind XD), but it's mildly annoying when i catch myself and half an hour has gone by. I know. I don't agree with it as the 'proper' way to go about things, but I do think it's a product of things you are taught on the way to adulthood. Have a realistic goal for the future, be prepared for anything, plan three steps ahead of your actions. These are all things that get drilled into you constantly. Everything has to go somewhere, it can't just be. It's probably a large source of the pressure felt by most members of society.
So is it hard for you to get absorbed in things, then? I mean, personally, when I cut out all the distractions and just go, I get sucked into what I'm doing and it's all I am thinking about until I'm done. Despite your ADD, I've always seen you as that sort of person - someone who can really make things happen if he's passionate about it. You're right, of course. "Growing up" as we define it isn't just the proverbial loss of innocence, but also the understanding and insight that comes with knowledge and wisdom gained through the course of a life. As far as I'm concerned, we're never done growing up. xd I kind of snickered at that. xd "Absorbed" is one way to put it. "Obsessed" is almost more accurate. It's almost like tunnel vision, where nothing else even exists until whatever's at hand is not only completed, but perfected. It's comical in a lot of situations, especially when I'm depending on other people. I always end up pushing them out of the way and doing it all myself, which gets really funny for group projects in school. xd But yeah, that happens. I love the feeling, and I can't get enough of it. It's basically what I live for. biggrin Pretty much. I wish more people actually thought about it.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Maybe we both just need to find something captivating enough to give us a constant rush like that.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:18 am
Cabron LaSwan Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Cabron LaSwan
If I were having this conversation with my father, he'd call that "growing up".
As for me, I find the hardest parts are the distractions. I know for a fact that if I'm going to start seriously writing anything, I'm going to have to disable my Internet connection while I'm doing it to avoid alt+tabbing to the group Skype chat every time I can't think of what to put next. lol That is actually something I miss about my shitty win98 computer on dialup; I only got x amount of time online a day because it tied up the phone line and I couldn't play any games that weren't on a SNES emulator, so there was nothing to do but write, or draw, or play guitar. That's not the same thing in the slightest, though. It's like assuming that academic intelligence and common sense are the same thing and summing it up in "smart." /:< Hah, I'd be lying if I said distractions weren't a problem. ADD doesn't just disappear. But the thing is, even if I were to remove all external distractions, it still wouldn't be much better. Even without anything in my way, a good portion of all my distractions are internal. It's not uncommon for me to be lost in thought and not come out of it for another hour. I suppose it's part of why I'm so patient ( I can keep myself entertained for days with literally nothing but my mind XD), but it's mildly annoying when i catch myself and half an hour has gone by. I know. I don't agree with it as the 'proper' way to go about things, but I do think it's a product of things you are taught on the way to adulthood. Have a realistic goal for the future, be prepared for anything, plan three steps ahead of your actions. These are all things that get drilled into you constantly. Everything has to go somewhere, it can't just be. It's probably a large source of the pressure felt by most members of society.
So is it hard for you to get absorbed in things, then? I mean, personally, when I cut out all the distractions and just go, I get sucked into what I'm doing and it's all I am thinking about until I'm done. Despite your ADD, I've always seen you as that sort of person - someone who can really make things happen if he's passionate about it. You're right, of course. "Growing up" as we define it isn't just the proverbial loss of innocence, but also the understanding and insight that comes with knowledge and wisdom gained through the course of a life. As far as I'm concerned, we're never done growing up. xd I kind of snickered at that. xd "Absorbed" is one way to put it. "Obsessed" is almost more accurate. It's almost like tunnel vision, where nothing else even exists until whatever's at hand is not only completed, but perfected. It's comical in a lot of situations, especially when I'm depending on other people. I always end up pushing them out of the way and doing it all myself, which gets really funny for group projects in school. xd But yeah, that happens. I love the feeling, and I can't get enough of it. It's basically what I live for. biggrin Pretty much. I wish more people actually thought about it.
Yeah, that's what I thought. Maybe we both just need to find something captivating enough to give us a constant rush like that. It's why I want to go into education. Because I know that I get most invested in a situation when I have to teach or show something to someone else, and it's the most helpful use of my hyperfocused state.
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Sharkbutt The Orgiastic Crew
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 11:23 am
Sharkbutt The Orgiastic It's why I want to go into education. Because I know that I get most invested in a situation when I have to teach or show something to someone else, and it's the most helpful use of my hyperfocused state. Sounds legit.
Mine is always going to be music. I just need to figure out the how.
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Posted: Sat May 19, 2012 9:18 pm
LPS is Music
Cookie is Education
Kath is Music Ed
LPS + Cookie = Kath
I must get the gay from Cookie and the sass and rugged good looks from LPS
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 12:08 am
l-Kathulu-l LPS is Music Cookie is Education Kath is Music Ed LPS + Cookie = Kath I must get the gay from Cookie and the sass and rugged good looks from LPS sounds.....legit? xd
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 1:44 am
bleu_flame Apparently today was senior skip day at my school. My friend in Animation class skipped school, so I took a screenshot of his desktop, made it his desktop, and hid all his icons. That way he won't be able to open anything from the desktop until he realizes what I've done. C:< Next, I changed the path to his Minecraft shortcut to the trollface image and then changed the icon back into the Minecraft icon. So when he finally opens Minecraft, it'll open the trollface image instead. c: I love senior skip day. NIIIIIICE. Nice. Our Senior Ditch Day is Monday. I don't get why one would even bother ditching. Too mainstream.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 6:30 am
I have $3 in my wallet, plain tomato sauce, a pound of ground turkey, and a can of assorted beans. I want to make chili today.
It's always been one of my favorite foods, but something I have very seldom made and never adapted my own recipe for. I don't have a crockpot, but I found a couple stovetop recipes that got some really favorable reviews.
I hope the stores are open today. I never thought I'd use an onion for anything ever.
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Posted: Sun May 20, 2012 8:12 pm
Damn. Chili.  not my orgasm face
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Posted: Mon May 21, 2012 1:27 am
l-Kathulu-l Damn. Chili. not my orgasm faceMushrooms, ground turkey, sweet onion, green pepper, fresh garlic, zucchini, six kinds of beans, crushed red pepper, chili powder, Frank's Red Hot, and just a pinch of swag.  Also, homemade pita chips. It took me like, a good three hours, but it was worth every ******** second.
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