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 Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 4:18 am
For the most part, I think my issues concerning my age have to do with the fact that when my parents were my age... I was 10. With two sisters. And we had a house. And look at me now.
I would be a much happier person if I didn't have so many reference points. And if I wasn't perpetually single.
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 4:36 am
Xanilus For the most part, I think my issues concerning my age have to do with the fact that when my parents were my age... I was 10. With two sisters. And we had a house. And look at me now.
I would be a much happier person if I didn't have so many reference points. And if I wasn't perpetually single. My mother got married the day after she turned 21, mostly to get away from her hometown and be with a suave big town guy. She doesn't recommend it to anyone who is happy with their current situation. Also: times have changed, a few centuries ago we would have been married and ******** a 12 year old while working 10 hours per day in a workshop.
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 9:47 am
Out of my twenty-something cousins, none of them have married before their thirties yet. My parents had me at ages 28/29. I'm definitely in no rush!
Y'know, I'm always surprised to hear some of my friends say that their parents fault them if they can't find a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't think my family ever tries to push anybody in that department, considering all the late marriages... But they DO fault you if you undervalue your education. I mean, my family is made of immigrants. Half of them can't speak English very well. But every. single. ******** person. has some kind of degree.
My grandparents won't let me hear the end of it until I get a PhD! (I don't believe I'll ever aspire to do anything in music that requires a PhD...)
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 10:23 am
Waltz for Luma Y'know, I'm always surprised to hear some of my friends say that their parents fault them if they can't find a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't think my family ever tries to push anybody in that department, considering all the late marriages... But they DO fault you if you undervalue your education. I mean, my family is made of immigrants. Half of them can't speak English very well. But every. single. ******** person. has some kind of degree. My grandparents won't let me hear the end of it until I get a PhD! (I don't believe I'll ever aspire to do anything in music that requires a PhD...) That sort of sounds like my family. They didn't even want me dating until I was done with college. So much for that, but hey... At least if I don't get married until after I'm 30 they'll be happy. I on the other hand, want a child by then... if I have my life together. Mmm, life in the fast lane! I have to figure out how to be as successful as every lawyer/doctor/engineer in the family, but as an artist of sorts. Great!
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 10:33 am
My family on mother's side is opposite of yours, they do not value school very highly. Although grandma does sort of respect the work I have to put into university. I guess she mostly just appreciates people who work hard, what they do is of lesser importance.
On father's side they value education a lot higher, my grandma from that side of the family pushed her children to do something with their brains.
Never having had a girlfriend is becoming a problem according to both sides, though.
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 10:41 am
Urbane At least if I don't get married until after I'm 30 they'll be happy. I on the other hand, want a child by then... if I have my life together. Mmm, life in the fast lane! I have to figure out how to be as successful as every lawyer/doctor/engineer in the family, but as an artist of sorts. Great! I'm kind of the same way, I'd like to have a kid before I'm 30. I will be pissed at my boy if he doesn't propose to me before then... 10+ years of dating with no marriage in sight? I'd cry. And I have that dilemma too - how to rake in the money like a doctor, with a profession that's often penniless. On the bright side, that means we're practical and ambitious with our artistry, not meandering around and doing it as a "side hobby" until the big break comes. Right? ;] I know that when I picked music, I planned to go all the way with it. I guess it's not too smart of me, but I have no "backup" profession. I figured if I want it so badly, there's no reason to half-heartedly go into it.
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 12:04 pm
My mother was 32 when she got married and 34 when she gave birth to my brother (he's the oldest of us). My dad? 46 and 48, respectively. When my baby sister was born my mother was 40 and he was 54 - so hey, it's still possible to get married and have children and be happy later in life. =)
Not to say that I wouldn't mind getting married before I'm 30, but hey, if that's when it happens, that's when it happens. *shrug*
My dad has a bachelor's and my mother doesn't have any degree, but they still push us really hard to do well in school. I'm definitely a slight failure in their eyes, seeing as how I'm not even going to school...but right now school just doesn't feel like an option to me. *shrug*
...also, on the whole marriage thing - my older sister is getting married in June 2010 (she'll be 24). She wants my baby sister to be in the wedding party, but she booked her wedding on the the baby's 20th birthday. Is it just me, or is that messed up? My mother's excuse is "well everyone will be there for your birthday" but that still doesn't sound right to me. (I may have complained about this before, I can't remember...sorry if I have.)
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 1:40 pm
I think I'll only marry for the tax benefit. It's such an outdated concept it's not even funny. Marriage was a contract between two families and a way to provide security to a woman, love never came in the picture. But somehow that changed in the West, now marriage is the epitome of love.
I rather prefer the idea of living together with someone and have children and what have you without having to get all dressed up and spend 10k on a party just to be able to call yourself 'married' and assume you can live happily ever after.
I STOMP ON YOUR ROMANTIC THOUGHTS!
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Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 4:06 pm
Sounds like Aldo plans to "break up" with his child's mother instead of divorcing, hehe.
To me, marriage implies that you'd like to be a family. I guess you could say that it's just a piece of paper, but you know... so is a college degree/birth certificate/voter's ballot.
Also, Liam in glasses while being smart and building robots = O___O heart
I have a weakness for cute guys in glasses!
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 10:18 am
Valgav Also: Reddy, I love your naivety optimism. Makes me giggle. biggrin (No really, I like that some people are honestly not as much a curmudgeon as I.) Thirty is old.
And I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm not entirely free of cynicism (though I guess you're right I am pretty optimistic generally XD). It bothers me when people are like "I NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WAAAAH" or complain that they're 18/19/20 or something and have never dated so are going to "die alone". Relationships are great and all...and I'm not saying I don't totally adore my own boyfriend, because I do. But they're not the end-all-be-all means of gauging success in life and at that age you're really still just starting out. There's plenty of time to find someone.
Which is kind of my input on the whole "getting married young" subject going on right now I guess. I don't see anything wrong with getting married young, provided you're at least mature enough to decide you want to devote the rest of your life to someone. I just think there's no rush.
Personally, though...I don't mind if I don't ever get married. That piece of paper isn't what shows I'd be committed to my partner or want a family. I might wear some sort of ring to deter guys who want a piece of this ('Cause I mean really...who doesn't /ego) because getting hit on is annoying. But even that wouldn't be necessary, because I've got lots of experience turning people down. XD
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 2:25 pm
idk, a relation is just something i hope to experience sooner rather than later. I have no clue what it's all about, a friend tells me it just means you get laid more often, but you have less time off. Disney tells me it is the best thing ever. Who do I trust, a 20-something or a cartoonist with a funny moustache? I rather find out for myself if it isn't too much trouble.
Also, getting hit on is my number one way to feel better about myself. razz
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 4:46 pm
reddy2bplayd It bothers me when people are like "I NEED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WAAAAH" or complain that they're 18/19/20 or something and have never dated so are going to "die alone". Relationships are great and all...and I'm not saying I don't totally adore my own boyfriend, because I do. But they're not the end-all-be-all means of gauging success in life and at that age you're really still just starting out. There's plenty of time to find someone. Yesyesyes. <3 I think it's important to not define your worth based on the man/woman you like. I was once like that, and I have a lot of die-hard romantic friends who are like that... it's the hardest thing to grasp for a person with low self esteem.
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Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 10:46 pm
Aldo I think I'll only marry for the tax benefit. It's such an outdated concept it's not even funny. Marriage was a contract between two families and a way to provide security to a woman, love never came in the picture. But somehow that changed in the West, now marriage is the epitome of love. I rather prefer the idea of living together with someone and have children and what have you without having to get all dressed up and spend 10k on a party just to be able to call yourself 'married' and assume you can live happily ever after. I STOMP ON YOUR ROMANTIC THOUGHTS! I feel the same way. Marriage is just a piece of paper that says the greater part of society deems it appropriate for you to have sex together. ******** that. And I don't WANT a family, so that definition doesn't fly, either. I find it highly amusing that my family assumes I'm going to wait until I'm married to have sex, or rather marry at all. I mean... my grandma married twice, my mom married twice. So... yeah. That kinda negates all of their high-morality notions of waiting or "saving yourself for marriage." And then I always hear crap like "Marriage is a commitment. It says they won't walk out on you." Um... yeah. Didn't you get divorced twice? All it does is make it more difficult and stressful when somebody DOES decide they're over it. rolleyes
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 7:14 pm
And thus I maintain my claim (and complaint) that I am old, and add to it that I'm more than certain I'll die alone.
My ideas on love and monogamy and marriage and all that... are a fading thing of the past. Maybe not all of it, and maybe not all at once, but still. It's a sad sad world.
I should have been an arrogant chauvinist.
Whatever.
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Posted: Fri May 22, 2009 9:06 pm
Hey... I don't have anything against monogamy or romantic notions. I just don't think marriage is a factor in that. The whole idea of marriage seems like it is so much more for people on the outside than for the couple itself. Except for the aforementioned tax benefits.
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