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 Posted: Tue Aug 07, 2007 6:03 pm
Dear Alice,
I have long feared my sister-in-law to be a cross-dresser. Though my wife says such notions are all in my head, I can't seem to get a word in edge-wise when I try mentioning it..... or any other time really around my wife. Should I be concern?
Truly
Knackered Knight
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Posted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 3:26 pm
Ran-Ran-Chan Dear Alice,
I have long feared my sister-in-law to be a cross-dresser. Though my wife says such notions are all in my head, I can't seem to get a word in edge-wise when I try mentioning it..... or any other time really around my wife. Should I be concern?
Truly
Knackered Knight
Dear Knackered Knight:
Yes, you should be very concerned. But not about what your sister-in-law wears. Who cares about that? You should be concerned about your own well-being.
It's been proven many times that people who care too much about what someone else wears or does in their own free time is infected with a disease called Intoleratus Biggoteritus.
This is the leading cause of pancake poisoning in small children. Do you support small children being poisoned by pancakes?
The only known cure is to put your pants on your head and dance around with your todger hanging out.
Of course, this makes the entire village laugh at you, but we do that anyway. Trust me.
Sincerely,
Alice
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Posted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 4:03 pm
Dear Alice,
I stole a baby griffin that had a fancy collar. Problem is, she's violent and keeps biting my nose. It's painful. I already sold the collar. Should I keep her?
From,
A possible RP character The fate of myself my nose rests in your hands.
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Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 8:21 am
Dear Alice,
I came to Xuan recently in hopes of finding a particular noble household. One hopefully owned by a fairly well off family with (presumabley) a rather shiny heirloom. You wouldn't happen to know of one with minimal security?
Thanks ever so much,
The Gentleman Thief
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:19 pm
Silver-head angel Dear Alice, I stole a baby griffin that had a fancy collar. Problem is, she's violent and keeps biting my nose. It's painful. I already sold the collar. Should I keep her? From, A possible RP character The fate of myself my nose rests in your hands.
Dear Fate:
There's only one solution. You must sell your nose.
Sincerely,
Alice
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 5:21 pm
Ran-Ran-Chan Dear Alice,
I came to Xuan recently in hopes of finding a particular noble household. One hopefully owned by a fairly well off family with (presumabley) a rather shiny heirloom. You wouldn't happen to know of one with minimal security?
Thanks ever so much,
The Gentleman Thief
Dear Gentleman Thief:
Oh, indeed I do. I happen to know personally that the newest heir of House Rosaylen, Malcolm Lansing, has absolutely apalling security. You should go pay him a visit. And you'd make quite a name for yourself. Let me know how it goes.
Sincerely,
Alice
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:41 pm
Dear Alice,
I hear Malcolm Lansing is quite a celebrity, however I don't put much stock in rumors. For all I know, he could be an ex-convict hiding from the Rosalyn family themselves. I wouldn't suppose you'd know something of a Lord Quillan, would you?
-Gentleman Thief
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Posted: Tue Dec 11, 2007 6:52 pm
Ran-Ran-Chan Dear Alice,
I hear Malcolm Lansing is quite a celebrity, however I don't put much stock in rumors. For all I know, he could be an ex-convict hiding from the Rosalyn family themselves. I wouldn't suppose you'd know something of a Lord Quillan, would you?
-Gentleman Thief
Dear, Gentleman Thief:
It is my professional opinion that Lord Quillan has nothing worth stealing except for his virginity.
And someone else already has claims to that.
Sincerely,
Alice
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 4:56 pm
Dear Alice,
Though the powers above only know how, one of my griffons seems to have gotten ahold of some of those pictures mentioned in previous articles. And while I'm appreciative of the male physique and all, it's a bit disturbing to see her strutting around with them. I managed to bribe them away from her with a shiny bracelet, and I was wondering where I need to send them.
Sincerely,
Flustered Dragriffon Owner
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 5:53 pm
Haisyn Fierra Dear Alice, Though the powers above only know how, one of my griffons seems to have gotten ahold of some of those pictures mentioned in previous articles. And while I'm appreciative of the male physique and all, it's a bit disturbing to see her strutting around with them. I managed to bribe them away from her with a shiny bracelet, and I was wondering where I need to send them. Sincerely, Flustered Dragriffon Owner
Dear Flustered:
I've got a better idea. Put some of the pictures in your pocket. Then wait around on market day or some other really crowded day. Wait until someone pickpockets you and then watch the resulting hilarity.
Enjoy.
Sincerely,
Alice
P.S.: You didn't really think it would be that easy to get my real address, did you?
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Posted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 6:08 pm
Dear Alice,
I wouldn't mind mailing them to a fake address. Or the Palace. That might be interesting too. Though I'd have to use a fake address then. I was honestly wondering if you wanted them back.
Though I will take your suggestion into consideration. I think I know just the place. Thanks for the entertainment.
Sincerely,
Flustered
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Posted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 12:52 pm
Haisyn Fierra Dear Alice, I wouldn't mind mailing them to a fake address. Or the Palace. That might be interesting too. Though I'd have to use a fake address then. I was honestly wondering if you wanted them back. Though I will take your suggestion into consideration. I think I know just the place. Thanks for the entertainment. Sincerely, Flustered
Dear Flustered:
You know, if you really want to get rid of them, you could just mail them with your next letter. I mean, you are managing to send letters here, right?
Sincerely,
Alice
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