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While I normally do not approve of the reviving of old threads(even my own), this one seems like an important one for those considering heading to Japan, so I'm gonna add a link to it on the main forum.

To the above reader: Yes, you can add toppings. For some reason, I've seen countless stories and things in books and also on the internet that it's disrespectful to the cook's cooking (by adding stuff like soy sauce, you're saying you don't like the food's natural taste) if you add toppings, but I think it's hogwash because Japanese people naturally do it, so it has to be okay. Likewise, if there is a situation that might seem like it's not appropriate, watch the people around you. If you see them doing something, chances are it's okay to do so (depending on what it is though, use common sense).

EDIT: It is unusual, HOWEVER, to put soy sauce on plain rice though. Not because of said above thing, but just that it's not done much.

Stuff I found out in the past few weeks:

-If it's not your party or event that you're creating, you can't invite guests unless the person planning so says so.
- A good first date is eating (or going to a cafe) then going to a movie or movie then going out to eat (or cafe).
- If you ask someone (of the opposite sex or whatever your type) what they're doing for Christmas, it is considered a soft-confession by many Japanese because Christmas is not religious by any means here, but it is second only to Valentine's day for romance. By asking what they're doing for Christmas, it's implying you want to spend it with them (i.e. the confession part).

I went to Korea recently, which so far has veeery similar customs to Japan as far as I see on this thread.

I really didn't mind using my Gaijin powers from time to time though. Somebody's staring at you? Stare right back. Generally, they'll immediately look away guiltily.
When it got too bad, I'd just take out my sunglasses and pop them on. It's unnerving looking at someone who might be looking at you (the lenses were too dark.) cool

No flip-flops/thongs. You look like a huge tourist, and frankly, after a while your self-esteem starts going down when you're surrounded by stylish dressers. I'd suggest heels. Jeans are okay, but no grungy ripped ones. Fashionable skinny jeans will blend the best.

I actually got more bad-mouthing from the Koreans than the white tourists did, because I'm half-Korean. I suppose I understand why, but it surprised me.
But if you're white: WATCH OUT FOR CRAZY SHOP VENDORS TRYING TO CHEAT YOU. Even if you're part or full-blooded, they can tell you're a tourist. Beware.
I swear, some of them are really idiotic about it. This lady clearly told my Mom something was 35,000 won, and then turned right around and told a Korean lady that it was 25,000. I guess she didn't think Mom would understand. Tsk tsk tsk.

I was told from my Japanese professor that cell phones actually need to be turned off on trains / subways / buses. It's because some elderly people have pacemakers and they don't want anyone's cell phones making them go haywire. And it's probably also because it's super rude to have a really loud conversation going on on a bus (even in America).

Oh, and my professor also told us that the vibrate / silent modes on a phone are called マーナーモド (manner mode) in Japan. Interesting fact.

Actually, the technology now no longer has any interference with pacemakers so it's okay to leave cellphones on during train rides, but in manner mode. People seldom talk on trains, but not out of politeness, but usually because they're sleeping and such. Also, recently I've noticed that manner mode has been translated properly to silent mode, because we do not call it manner mode in the west generally.

As for bows, I remember hearing that in a business situation, when greeting a customer for the first time, you bow at a 15 degree angle. When they depart, you bow at a 45 degree angle. When I bow, I usually determine if it's a first meeting, I'm apologizing, or how thankful I am to someone.

As long as you tell your host family you're vegetarian, you should be fine. It isn't an insult at all to be vegetarian as long as you just say (better before you meet them anyway) that you're vegetarian.

Crap, my lack of typing and writing in English is catching up with me. What I meant to say was "it isn't an insult at all to be vegetarian" here. Just tell them that you are vegetarian, but eat fish.

Biologically most Asians are born with a smaller frame, Japanese included, so bigger folk tend to stick out like Yao Ming(a notable exception to this genetics). Just about everyone else in the world regards the average American to be fat, as well as a few other things. Concerning plus sized folks, the Japanese tend not to be openly insulting others, they prefer the cold cut of politeness coupled with the Us v Them mentality(referred to there as Uchi[in] Soto[out])