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 Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:13 pm
There is no good reason for me. I was born this way. Mom read the Stand while she was pregnant. My first movie I remember was Silence of The Lambs, and my favorite movie as a 5-14 year old is Interview With A Vampire.....
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 9:53 pm
Er...this was a long time ago so I must think back to it....
Okay....I had just moved from San Jose in to the country, so I was very queit and din't want to talk to anyone at first at my new school. They were mostly country loven people and..I...Well...Was the new kid. Being the new kid is bad. They liked country music and I liked punk. ECT.So I never talked to them and they never talked to me for two years ( besides Pat XD). And when they did talk to me it was either to get off the swings of get to class. either way....Odd... Within my first day at jr. High I had made my first friend,: A goth girl named Jewel, along with her possy of asians and random goths and indi kids. They talked to me and were nice to me, even gave me a nickname since I would never talk to them...They also tied a shoelace around my neck( got to love those ninnys <3 )(However I still think it was kidnape )....And well Yes...The rest is history. I ended up getting use to them learning more about them and soon they made me one of them. Interesting story, ja?
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2007 10:52 pm
I don't know really. one day everyone just kept saying i was so goth and anti social. I always had issues with socializing and i love dark colours as an influence from my mum. there was lots of black and red at home as i was growing up
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Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 1:31 am
my mom is pretty much ruining my life...
i don't hate her but she walks around telling people i do,
she ripped apart my self-confidence...
i faked skitsophrenia just to get away with her... turns out im a manic depressive and i have severe paranoia.
my mom is jeleous of me because im trying so hard to make something outta' life and she went wout and got pregnant with me when she was 19 and couldn't finish colledge...
it sucks that she hates herself so much that she has to take it out on me...
everytime i tell her i love her... she just looks at me and says "uhuh thats nice now go away"
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 10:52 pm
Demon of an Angel bunnychic Demon of an Angel What has made me gothic ey? It is kinda of an intersting story in my opinion. =P Summer, August 26 06. 3:00 at night. It was pouring rain outside. I had my friends over for my birthday party. Turned 14 this year. We were all in my trailer (Seperate from my house. My little hang out house. xD) on the computer, eating cake and sugar packets and dont forget the Iced Tea and Sugar packets. n.n I really like this guy a long time ago. Member on Gaia (Refusing to tell the name of who) And I had strong feelings for him and he had strong feelings for me. He bought me blue roses for my Avatar and was doing all these other things for me. So I was on my Moms computer while my friends were on mine in the Trailer. (I was in the house for that time.) And then I got this Pm from the guys brother. I was in a good mood but his PM just brought me down. He started yelling at me because I liked his younger brother. He MADE his brother break up with me and that just tore me apart. ='( I logged off for the night. Heart broken. Worst birthday of my life...I walked outside in the pouring rain...But instead of going to the trailer were my friends were...I just walked away. In the rain, no umbrella or hood. I just let the rain get me soaked. I stood there. Crying. My friends came out to see if I was alright. The guy seemed to have PMed one of my friends. (Not friends with her now. I hate her. =P) So two of my friends came out for me. They saw me sitting in the street, crying. (Dead end street. 3:00 at night.) When they started walking torwards me...I ran away from them. So we went through that night not speaking to each other. I was dead inside and I began to think eviler then I did before. The next day, I began wearing nothing but black. So now I was labled Goth. Instersting for ya? =P No I wasnt beaten up. I have been labled as a poser but I got used to that. They did freak out, almost everybody who I talk to were scared of me after I dyed my hair black. And now, most of my friends hate me. =)
WHY would they do that?youre still the same person?why cant they just accept you?iif they dont liike iit they can stiill be niice?iits not really liike your personaliity changed!iif iit diid youre stiill the same just a liittle biit more...goth!thats so stupiid!iid just be all liike .wow.thats.diifferent.whats.up.wiith.all.the.change?. then youd be all liike .oh.yeah.my.liife.sucks.balls. and iid be all liike .miine.does.too.you.should.help.me.do.my.haiir.
not that hard to be niice!!
ii suppose iits just liike the whole horse traiiniing thiing- apply pressure and dont release untiil you have a giive...so just be yourself and keep goiing more and more extreme untiil they accept you and dont stop untiill they do...ha ha iim dyiing my haiir PIINK!!
what now mutha ******** yeah.ii feel smart ii learned somethiing:]
GRR!!IIM SO HYPER!!
*sings*
ii put my hand up on your hiip
when ii diip
you diip
we diip
you put your hand up on my hiip
when you diip
ii diip
we diip
you put your-and ii put myyyyyy
*changes songs*
iits the happy fun tiime new tiime song!
ii love to siing iit all day long!
siing iit when the weathers briight!
siing iit when the sun dont shiine!
slap my fanny!
kiiss my face!
siing thiis song all over the place!
once you start you cannot stopppp!!
siing iit tiil you eardrums pop!
one more tiime!
iits the happy fun tiime new tiime song!
ii love to siing iit all day long!
siing iit when the weathers briight!
siing iit when the sun dont shiine!
slap my fanny!
kiiss my face!
siing thiis song all over the place!
once you start you cannot stopppp!!
siing iit tiil you eardrums pop!
*siings*
4laugh 4laugh 4laugh
NIIINJA ATTACK!!!
ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja ninja
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 4:21 pm
10+ straight years of constant mental and physical abuse from none other than my older sister. She' only 1 year and 3 months older too! And she's nowhere near as strong as me. The first time I tried to defend my self physically I made her cry and my Mom just laughed at her. She was actually on my side and didn't even get mad at all. She knows how horrible my sister is. And no, not just the typical kick in the shins or calling me a "loser". She tried to push me down a flight of stairs(23 times), threw an ashtray at my head(6 times), and often tried to just beat the s**t out of me. Like pushing me in a corner and kicking me or punching me in the face until I couldn't breath out of my nose for days.
And constant rejection and ridicule from my Grandmother.
And my druggie/alcoholic Father.
According to them, everything I do is wrong, bad, weird, creepy, strange, stupid, pointless, or just flat out retarded. And all of this led up to me cutting my wrists for the first time when I was only 8 years old. And not just to bleed, I actually wanted to die. That's pretty major for such a young age. And on top of all that drama, I have Manic Depression and I have hardly any friends. Well, good friends. And I have had my heart shattered too many times to count. MY first time falling in love was with my best friend Landon in kindergarten. The next time was this past summer at church camp. The boy was 16, but we had a strong connection. So I thought...then he shattered my heart(the first time ever). And just about 2 months ago my first real boyfriend told me that he never really liked me and was just desperate for a girlfriend. SO I have kinda a tough life. You will almost never see me with a tee shirt on because of the scars from myself and what my sister has done to me.
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 7:01 pm
Well you can say I 'am' and 'am not'. I am because I act like that a lot. and I am not because Idon't wear the all black clothing all the time.
People say I'm obbsessed with Stuff like Vampires, Demons, and stuff people would consider Gothic. But I'm technically normal. I mean I'm social, I play Video Games like everyone else. I draw, Read and Write like a maniac and write depressing crap sometimes. and as for the whole Gothic Phase I'd have to thank one of my friends (Not mentioning his name because I'm a good friend!) but he showed me the way and the game that truly made me a bit darker. (personalitywise not literally.)
and just the overall fact most of my friends are Gothic it grew on me.
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Posted: Mon Mar 19, 2007 8:01 pm
Well, to be honest, I just stumbled upon it. I started liking the color black, for God-only-knows-why reasons, and finally said to Hell with my parents and just wore what i felt like. I mean, my Dad's super-Christian, and so is his recent wife, but my mom taught me to be who I am, so, despite how much she regretted teaching me that way, I just went the way i felt like. idk. not too interesting, but that's my story. biggrin
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Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 5:33 pm
I don't think I ever really 'became' it. I think I always was, even if I didn't know it. I was always different than everyone else, and I loved it. I started dressing like a goth by about 7th grade. My mom totaly hates it, but I don't care. I like standing out. I don't think I would ever be content with just blending in with the crowd.
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Posted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:25 am
Rhoswen23 my mom is pretty much ruining my life... i don't hate her but she walks around telling people i do, she ripped apart my self-confidence... i faked skitsophrenia just to get away with her... turns out im a manic depressive and i have severe paranoia. my mom is jeleous of me because im trying so hard to make something outta' life and she went wout and got pregnant with me when she was 19 and couldn't finish colledge... it sucks that she hates herself so much that she has to take it out on me... everytime i tell her i live her... she just looks at me and says "uhuh thats nice now go away"
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2007 4:31 pm
Well I guess I got involved with the gothic lifestyle when I was like 10 because I was depressed, suicidal and lonely. I was having a hard time dealing with my Mom's death to cancer and life was snowballing me. The Gothic world became my escape and still is, it's like a drug almost. It leads you into a dark submission where everyone can relate to your pain.
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 1:05 am
i used to get bullied in school and i was fed up with the narrow minded idiots of well... everywhere sooooooooo i was like well if there gonna take the piss im going to be different as a sort of giant ******** you, i find there insults funny now because they havent got a CLUE whet there on bout
xx
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Posted: Sat Apr 07, 2007 1:56 am
Rhoswen23 my mom is pretty much ruining my life... i don't hate her but she walks around telling people i do, she ripped apart my self-confidence... i faked skitsophrenia just to get away with her... turns out im a manic depressive and i have severe paranoia. my mom is jeleous of me because im trying so hard to make something outta' life and she went wout and got pregnant with me when she was 19 and couldn't finish colledge... it sucks that she hates herself so much that she has to take it out on me... everytime i tell her i love her... she just looks at me and says "uhuh thats nice now go away" plus i have a massive depresstion and like to laugh at peoples pain including my own... and besides... black just looks better
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 9:19 am
There's nothing really interesting to tell for me. I guess I just felt different from the others. I had a darker mind in some way. I dunno, I've always been a happy and smiling person, but I love talking about serious things and I hate everything superficial. And I loved the gothic style in clothes so I wanted to look like that too.
Another thing is that I wanted to change my image. I'm very quiet and I usually go totally unnoticed so this was a way to make people see me, no matter what they thought of me. But I was never able to really look goth anyway because I love too many different styles and I didn't want to be labelled as gothic because then, people would find it strange if I started wearing something else and I didn't want that. I don't look goth at all now and I don't care. I prefer to just be myself and stop trying to look like anything in particular. So that was for the style.
As for the mentality, as I said above, I have a "darker mind" than the average but I can't really say I'm goth. I think different than most people and so do most goths so that's why I usually get along with them but there are so many different parts of my personnality that belong to different labels that I think I just can't be labelled as anything specific.
So, here's my conclusion: I can't really explain why I'm goth since I don't know if I could be considered gothic anyway. confused
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Posted: Tue Apr 24, 2007 8:42 pm
I never dressed "gothic". I just felt that to be something you didn't have to dress like it. I grew to be very dark when my mom and dad divorced. Especially when my two older siblings were sent to live with my dad. I used to stand on my balcony and wonder if anyone would care if I jumped( I was seven). Since then I have grown stronger and frankly I don't care what people think. I don't mind giving up friendships when they become a burden. I guess you could call me heartless but I like to look at is as being blunt in a very blunt manner.
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