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 Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:12 pm
Julian didn’t have the emotional capacity to support her as much as he wished he could. He was here, talking, but he didn’t have the energy to give her all of the words and reassurances he wanted to. He was tired and worn down but she was crying again.
He didn’t want her to hurt. He didn’t want her to be cruel to herself, or to say such mean things.
He didn’t know how she could think she was the worst.
“You’re not stupid,” he said gently, softly. “You’re not the worst. Mistakes happen.”
She had such a hard time thinking people cared about her. He wondered how often she must have thought he hated her. He hoped she knew that he didn’t. He hoped he could find a way to convince herself not to think he did.
“It was just an accident, please don’t be so hard on yourself…”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:14 pm
“An accident that should have never happened…” Brooklyn rubbed her face and tried to stop the tears that just didn’t seem to want to be stopped. They were happy to just. Gush.
Leak.
Drown her.
“Thank you…for at least figuring out what was going on…I…I really, appreciate that…I…”
Never would have thought of it on her own. Never would have been able to figure out why they weren’t writing her. Why she had lost–well, no. She knew why she had lost everything but still.
“Thank you…”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:16 pm
Julian looked at her for only a few seconds before he glanced away so she wouldn’t worry about him staring. He wanted to get up and hug her but his body was so tired, like it had turned off a switch. He tried to move but it required too much energy.
“You don’t have to thank me. I just hope that you guys can talk soon. I want you to feel better. But please don’t blame yourself for an accident. I think, um, by nature that accidents are things that weren’t supposed to happen.
“I bet they’ll be really happy to hear from you, Brooklyn. I promise. They really do ask about you all the time. And they only ever say good things. I’m sure being able to clear things up will mean a lot to them, too.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:16 pm
Brooklyn gave a long, slow breath and then looked at Julian. “...Can I do anything to make up with you? What…can I do to help save today…I…know I really ruined it…I’m…sorry.” It was supposed to have been such a good day…and Maxim was so cute and Talia had been so excited.
She wiped at her eyes and forced what was almost a smile. “I…can push things down too. I…won’t keep being so pushy…I…”
There wasn’t anything else she could think of. Nothing that seemed worth saying. Words felt empty.
“...I love you. I know you don’t hate me…I…just want you to know that I love you, and I need you. Very badly.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:17 pm
Julian’s eyes drifted back to her. He thought, for a long moment, about what he wanted to say. There was no right answer. He didn’t know what to say. He wanted to make her happy but he had to consider that while also repeating all the things she’d said he did that upset her.
He was slow moving when it came to change, he didn’t like change.
“It’s okay,” he promised. “I’m just really tired. I have to tell Talia that I’m sorry about her glass. But I really want to go take a nap. I don’t think today is ruined or anything. Is that okay? I can stay for longer. But I might have been out in the sun for longer than I was supposed to. I could probably fall asleep here,” he admitted, but the chair didn’t look like a comfortable place for napping.
“You don’t have to push things down. I don’t want you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. You don’t have to change yourself for anyone. No one’s perfect but it’s okay to be different. You just have to be the best you that you can be. And you have to do what makes you happy. You deserve to be happy. And you’re not alone,” he said, resting his cheek on his shoulder. He felt warm, and tired, and his stomach was jumping between being in a knot and being totally numb at the idea that he had to tell Talia he broke her glass. He just didn’t want to disappoint her or make her sad, either. “Just remember that, okay? You’re not alone, and you have lots of people who care about you. Including me. And it’s okay. Things will work out with Elliot and Atticus, I know it. And tomorrow will be better than today, okay? You just have to keep looking forward.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:18 pm
“I can tell her that I broke the glass…if you don’t want to?” Brooklyn thought it was the very least that she could do. “I don’t mind getting into trouble with her…it…” She was used to it. Not with Talia, just in general.
“...I appreciate that. And I’ll remember that I’m not alone…and I’ll work things out…and everything will be okay…”
It made sense. It sounded good. If she believed it…that would be better, but perhaps in the future…she would. That would be really…nice.
“I’m glad you’re here, Julian…I’m glad that we’re friends. I’m glad that we got to meet…no matter what else. I’m so glad that I have you.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:18 pm
Julian shook his head a little. “No, but thank you. I don’t want to lie,” he admitted. “It’s hard to keep up with things like that. I’d rather just be honest. It’ll be okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble. But I don’t think Talia’s the sort to be mad.”
Just disappointed, maybe. Just sad, maybe.
He looked at the door and figured that he really should go get Talia and let her know. He just didn’t want to leave Brooklyn alone or give her time to come up with the wrong idea.
“I’m glad we’re friends too, Brooklyn. I hope things calm down for you. It sounds like you’ve been really upset lately and I just hope things get easier.”
She was one of his very best friends, no matter what. He’d have done anything for her. He didn’t know what else to do, anyway; he wanted to be a good friend for her. He wanted to make her happy. “If you ever need someone to remind you that it’ll be okay, um. Well, you can always message me. I’ll write back as soon as I can. I’ll always be here to listen.”
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Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2024 5:19 pm
Brooklyn gave a small smile and nodded. “Yeah…that sounds good to me…I appreciate it…”
Drawing in a breath she gave a soft whistle and picked Maxim up again, kissing his cute little fuzzy face. “If you…wanna go talk to Talia…I can stay out here…and if she gets mad…it was my fault that you dropped it so…if she’s going to get mad at someone it should be me…”
She gave a soft sigh and closed her eyes. “I’m going to just…stay out here for a bit…I’m. Tired.”
And he was too, she was sure. But. He would do what he wanted…
And that was okay.
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