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 Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:16 pm
"Yu," Priam said gently, "It's okay. I want to give you a hug very badly, but I'm also very afraid of boxing you in. So I want you to know that I have one for you, if you want it, but otherwise I'm going to give you space. I'm sorry for upsetting you, it's okay if you don't want that," he said, trying to keep a soft, even voice.
There was a part of him that wondered if Yu simply didn't want the responsibility of someone looking up to him, or if it was more to it. He wondered what Yu must think of himself if this was his response, like someone would be burdened to have them in their corner. That they would be unfortunate, that they wouldn't want him.
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:26 pm
Embarrassing, awkward, He’d clearly done something dumb again, overreacted even if he hadn’t lashed out. He felt sick. The dread that tended to linger in the back of his mind took its opportunity to remind him that so many good things had happened, that surely… something awful would come to roost soon. They’d learn about his past, grifting from place to place, working under the table—fighting… so much fighting, a temper like a knife-edge. He rubbed at his forehead like he could press the thoughts away, then swept up one of the leather bracelets he’d taken off and started snapping it back in place for that small sense of security they offered. “Sorry,…” He managed after a moment. “I didn’t mean to… if I offended, I didn’t mean to.” Breathe, just breathe, he wasn’t coming in to hug, or crush, or smother, or… He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, sucking in a deep breath. “I just, it wouldn’t be a good idea. I’m fine…I’m sorry.” Angry was still sort of the problem, wasn't it? They didn't make him angry... and somehow that left him feeling so defenseless. He thought that should have made him angry; he knew the shape of that, but they didn't, and he wasn't. They just didn't know... and he wanted to hold on to that as long as he could.
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:39 pm
"I'm not offended," he assured, voice still gentle. "It was an idea. Yu, you're allowed to dislike an idea. You're allowed to be uncomfortable with something. You're also allowed to tell me that you don't want to talk about something. I promise," he said, and he meant it, "I know what it's like to have things you don't--"
Oh, he hit his own nerve, sucked in a breath, and managed to return the smile to his face. "I know what it's like to have things you don't want to talk about. And I know that sometimes those things come up out of the blue, with no preparation or warning. And I know that sometimes you can't always explain to people why you feel a certain way. And that's okay. You don't have to apologize for that. And if I do or say anything that makes you uncomfortable, just promise me you'll tell me, all right? You aren't going to hurt my feelings."
He might, Priam was very sensitive these days, but he wanted Yu to be honest with him. He didn't want to make mistakes. He didn't want to lose this comfortable life he was settling into, didn't want to lose his friends.
"But it's important to me to know how I can make sure I'm not hurting yours, or making you uncomfortable. So I promise, it's okay."
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 7:53 pm
He wound fingers through his hair and gave a yank, as discretely as he could; the small pain was grounding. He nodded though. “I.. yeah.” He rubbed his face and took a breath. “I… you too, ok? I know I can be…” He grimaced. “Crass.” He let his hands fall away from the leather bracelet, only half done back up. He reached instead and snapped off a corner of chocolate, crunching down on it feeling hot and shaky. He wanted to explain, but he also absolutely didn’t. There had to be some way to be vague, but… “I’m just not; I’m not used to…” And he was just out of words. <******** today.” He groaned and rested his head on the table. “You’re … cool, and a good friend, and I'm going to wreck that by being stupid.” He groaned again and sighed."
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:06 pm
Priam was quiet for a long moment, watching him briefly and then letting his eyes settle somewhere across the room.
"I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Yu. I promise, it's okay. Things aren't black and white, nobody's perfect. You would have to work very hard to drive me away on accident. I think you're very cool, yourself. And I think you're a very good friend, too. I have bountiful insecurities, and yet I find myself forgetting them, sometimes, when I'm here in this house. And I appreciate that. There are parts of my life that I want to leave behind, and that I am afraid will reveal their ugly faces and unravel everything I've worked towards."
He drew in a breath and then sighed, long and drawn out.
"...I'm not used to this, really. To being able to sit down and talk. I've forgotten what it's like to have people who aren't waiting for you to fail. To have people that aren't trying to chase you away, or sabotage you. Which must sound like such a silly thing, my life was never really even that eventful, but. Sometimes it's the little things that stay with you. And sometimes it's the big things. And sometimes it's things that should be nothing. But."
He looked back to Yu. "I mean it when I say I have faith in you. If you make a mistake, if I make a mistake, if we aren't happy with how something happens, we can always talk. When everyone calms down and can think about things. I promise. I won't abandon you so easily. Unless you tell me too!" he added quickly. "If I ever get annoying and you don't want to see me again, you just have to tell me! I'm terrified of being smothering and clingy. I'm terrified of a lot of things, if we're being honest. But not you. Not you, and not Sterling. If that counts for anything."
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:16 pm
What Priam said made Yu look, the knowledge that he’d found someone who… on some level at least, understood. He hadn’t expected it of someone who had such a perfect seeming life. But… to hear that. “That… I didn’t think -“ Words felt so clumsy in his mouth, and it was terrible. He waved a hand vaguely, trying to catch a hint of a word. “That’s how I was feeling; I don’t know what you went through….except the lobster.” He added ham-handedly. “I’m… I tend to move on. I don’t stay in places. But I like it here, I… I mean, I’m pretty stubborn; it’s gotten me through a lot so, I… you’re probably stuck with me. Sorry, Kinda bet Sterling would say the same… hell, I know he’s stubborn. He’s making me get my eyes checked despite the fact I super don’t need to.”
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:41 pm
Another smile appeared when Yu mentioned the lobster and he almost laughed again. He was smiling, finding it too hard to even dwell or sulk on his own hang-ups while he listened to Yu.
"One day, maybe, it will be easier to talk about things. I'm still working towards it, myself, so. Really, you've got plenty of time. Don't rush yourself just because you feel like you have to, or like you owe it to anyone. I think I'll be very happy to be stuck with you and Sterling, though. Is he dragging you to the dentist, too? A physician?" he asked, just a bit playfully. "--Is the hair stylist next?"
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 8:54 pm
“…oh god, Don’t give him ideas.” Yu grimaced. “And no! I cut my own hair! The last time I let someone else cut it, they did a bowl cut!” He shook his head. “And I don’t want to think about a physician; I can’t imagine they’d be too pleased with me, any of them.” He hesitated and then added hastily. “N-no offense. I know you’re a doctor.” “I just don’t want to have them poking at me, you know?” He rubbed his neck. He absently thumbed the scar on his cheek. “… kinda, afraid of what people would think…” Or ask…was the unspoken thought.
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Posted: Thu Oct 29, 2020 9:31 pm
Priam raised a hand to his mouth to stifle the laughs that threatened to bubble out at the idea of Yu with a bowl cut. He'd had plenty of bad haircuts in his life, but thinking about it on Yu was just adorable.
"I don't take offense. Nobody wants to go to the doctor," he assured. "People are only happy with me when I tell them how we can get them fixed up. I hate going to the doctor for the same reason. I drive an hour and a half out of town to go to mine, just to make sure I never run into him anywhere but his office. And even then, obviously, I make excuses not to go, constantly. But I'm also a good doctor, so I'm pretty good at picking up on when something's not quite right and I should be concerned."
He leaned back in his seat a bit. "The truth is, most doctors won't ask for your life story. I look for anomalies and signs that something's wrong. I do look for some personal things--I look for anything that looks like fresh self harm. I look for needle marks, I look for bruises. And I don't mean, 'walked into the table again and bruised myself', I mean, bruises. Like, 'something's wrong'. I look for the things that might indicate they need a little extra help now." But I don't look at the rest unless they ask me to. Scars, tattoos, piercings."
He crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat. "If it's not directly related to your medical record, or your current health, it's none of my business. My job is to make sure people are healthy or healing. If you do ever decide you want a check up, I can give you some very good referrals. People I would trust enough to go to. Of course, I'm available if you have any general questions. But, you're still young and invulnerable, so I won't nag about it. Sterling might, but don't let him bully you into some mediocre doctor."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:16 pm
A small grimace passed over Yu’s face at the word about inquiring after self-harm, not such a stretch given some of the marks on his arms, but they had at least seemed older. “… if he pushes, I’ll ask for referrals?” he replied in a tone that was at least half a promise. “I think he’d ask too, to be honest.” He looked amused for a second and then added. “At least I know I’m not invulnerable?”
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 1:21 pm
Priam smiled at him, quite fondly. "Well. That makes you smarter than most people your age. Destiny City is dangerous, I hear about reports all the time. People overworking themselves, passing out in the middle of the street after work. Mm. That'll be me one day," he mused, wondering how long it would take for some Negaverse Agent to see him, alone, late at night. The hospital always had weird hours--but if you were going to drain someone's energy, why not do it near the hospital, where there were plenty of reasons to get away with it?
"So you and Sterling need to be in tip-top shape, I'm already so old. I'll need all the help I can get."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 6:45 pm
Yu laughed and shook his head. “Well, I do pull doubles sometimes, but I think the Hospital has more uh… more stress to it.” He shrugged. “I’ll just have to make sure you at least get good food to try and ensure you have the energy not to collapse. And if you do, I’ll make sure I can heft enough to get you somewhere more comfortable than like… sidewalk.” He quipped. “When I was younger, I used to sneak peeks into comics; I’m going to admit Destiny city was not what I thought of when I thought about ‘cities where strange things happen.’
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 7:31 pm
Priam laughed and shook his head. "But I do like how it's so easy to disappear. You move to the other side of the city and all of a sudden it's like everything's new. It's a totally different world. You don't have to worry about running into people you know. "
He seemed amused at the idea of Yu dragging him to the sidewalk. "The other weird things, though. The logical side of me says that things can't really be that strange. And yet," a wistful sigh, "You can only see so much before you have to admit something's up. So I'll do my very best to stay healthy so I can stay safe. Your food is probably good enough to raise the dead though, so if anything ever happens to me, just wave some of your chicken under my nose. And if anything happens to you, well. I know CPR," he laughed.
"...But stay safe, please. I'd probably have a heart attack if anything happened to you or Sterling."
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 8:03 pm
“I’ll do my best.” He promised. “And maybe if things get very strange, I will keep fresh chicken with me at all times, just to be sure that we can revive you at a moment's notice.” He teased. “I will try not to fall victim to any random kitchen spices or the herb garden that our neighbor seems to be growing. You never know when you might be assaulted - Wild Thyme is dangerous stuff.” He grinned.
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Posted: Fri Oct 30, 2020 10:54 pm
Priam laughed again and shook his head. "Perhaps! But you know what I mean. More than spices, all those other things, that's what I'll really worry about."
He seemed at peace and leaned back in the chair, sighing. "...Please don't carry around chicken for me. Odie and Penny would get a kick out of it. I'll have to carry around chocolates for you. I should go back to the store and get the rest of them, to trade you for dinner. --I still have a little shopping to do today, do you need me to grab anything while I'm out?"
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