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 Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 11:45 pm
May 12, 2019 Curled into his computer chair Xi-Wang’s fingers moved from key to key tapping the few keys he needed. He wasn’t typing some essay, or message, but he was playing Overwatch. “Why can’t i get a heal…” Shaking his head he made to call for a heal, again, and just managed to get his defense matrix up in time to avoid the damage from an enemy Genji that had been rushing him.
Taking to the air, for the moment in order to try and avoid some damage and re-posistion, he got himself up above those on the ground below and opened fire on those trying to take the point from his own team.
“Some heals would really be nice.” But the Moira player didn’t seem interested in dealing - just killing. He understood wanting to kill and take out the enemy, he really did, but they were the only healer on the team and they needed to heal! At least every so often...it would be nice, and appreciated.
“I wish I could heal sometimes…” But he’d tried it and was simply no good with it. Keeping track of not dying, watching his own health, and everyone else's...yeah...nope. That wasn’t his thing. At least he almost had his ultimate up so he could drop down onto the enemy and bomb them, if they got the advantage on the point.
“This isn’t going to go well...I know it.” And he was hoping not to get the Moira player in his next game, he’d really like to avoid them. They just seemed uninterested in healing.
Watching as they died, no shock really, he was glad that when someone else died there was a switch. Their Widowmaker went for an Ana. “Thank you…” Whispering to himself as he hugged a plushie to his chest. This was good, at least he hoped so anyway.
It wasn’t until the match ended, several minutes later, with the other team winning, that he heard anything over the mics. No one, for whatever reason, had been talking this whole match. He heard it only when the game ended and they had lost. The one who had been playing Moira started in blaming them all for the loss...then the Ana player jumped in calling out the Moira and their lack of healing. They had responded that someone else should have healed sooner and they didn’t play heals normally, but took to playing a healer when no one else did.
Someone else jumped in then telling the Moira player that it wasn’t an excuse for no heals. They had picked a healer! Even if they didn’t like to heal and never played a healer...they had picked one. They should have healed.
Keeping out of it he shook his head. He had nothing to say, it was all being said already. It was for some reason, he didn’t hear what was said, but the Moira player thought to drag him out for keeping the high ground. He’d done it for his own safety because he couldn’t keep his matrix up the whole time and they hadn't been healing him. At least high up and moving from place to place he could try and keep alive a bit better.
Saying this he didn't’ wait for a response, it didn’t matter really, Xi-Wang exited to the main screen and then closed out. So much for playing longer tonight. That had just put him in a bad mood, not an angry mood but still not a good mood. Pushing his chair back he stood up and went to get himself ready for bed. “Maybe I should learn to heal...just so we can avoid that again…” Pressing his face to his plushie he started to turn down his bedding so he could climb under the warm bedding.
“I think I’ll try...no harm - right?” Asking the air, and himself, he nodded his head in answer. Not tonight though - tomorrow. Word count: 658
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Posted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 5:22 pm
November 17, 2019 He knew she’d never answer, why would she? But his fingers still tapped away at the screen of his phone. A few words...simple and yet filled with meaning. He might not love her, and he knew she hated him, but she was still his mother.
Hitting the send button he couldn’t help but hold his phone to his chest, for just a moment, as if afraid to see what may happen. Someone else might answer or it may not be delivered. Not many options but ones he feared. He might even get a response...though what she might send back he feared, even though he was used to her hurtful words by now.
When he pulled his phone away Xi-Wang was happy to see that it at least said delivered, though to whom he didn’t know, it was at least a bit promising. Though it wasn’t likely his mother would respond right now, if she ever would, considering it was midnight. Her birthday was today, it had just hit one minute after midnight.
As he set his phone down, almost reverently, the dark haired male went to wrap his blankets tighter about himself as he settled back onto his computer. Dark eyes every so often glancing back to his phone, incase he got a text back, this did make it hard to play Overwatch but he was managing to not die too badly. At least he wasn’t doing competitive as Xi-Wang was sure he wouldn’t have managed well there.
It was part way through a match when his phones screen lit up. Since he couldn’t check it right away, he was trying to keep his team alive, Xi-Wang had to watch till the match was over before he could check. When he did finally pick up his phone and tap on the screen, tapping his password in, he opened the message and saw a reply.
It was someone else….someone who was confused and asking who he was, why he was calling them mom, and could he not message them again. While they had asked he felt that need to apologize, a strong need that he knew wouldn’t leave him alone, so he tapped out an apology and just said the number had been his mothers. She must not have gotten around to telling him it changed. Hitting send he sat back, curling deeper into his blankets.
So she really had cut him out of her life. Sure she’d moved...he’d told her to, not that she’d known it was him, but she hadn’t told him and now this. It took a few more matches before he’d gotten ready for bed, a bit too emotional and wide awake to be tired, but when he curled up under his blankets he reached for his phone and slowly unlocked the screen. It was even slower that he went to his contacts and deleted his mothers number...and then her wifes number, as he was certain she’d changed her number as well. Reaching, with his free hand, for one of his plushies to hold onto as he assured his phone he wanted to remove the numbers. It hurt a lot but maybe it was for the best.
It still hurt though, still left an empty sort of feeling, but he didn’t cry this time. He held onto his plushie and curled up to sleep, his phone laying above him next to his pillow, like always when he slept. Word count: 576
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Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 8:05 pm
February 29, 2020 So talking to his father about a home was intimidating to say the least. It was nerve wracking. He’d thought about it since his meeting with Caleb and he knew it would solve a few problems, things he’d been ignoring for a while, but to approach his father about something so big. It seemed like a lot...like something he didn’t deserve - he was asking too much too soon. He didn’t know his father well enough and hadn’t known him for that long. It seemed...inappropriate but he had to ask - he had to try.
When his father finally answered the call, he’d been trying to connect for several minutes now, he let out a heavy breath. It was now or never - he needed to be strong and ask for something for himself.
Greeting his father Xi-Wang went through the usual conversation about how things were, both in school and as a dark mirror senshi. Assuring his father he was doing well in both areas of life. He didn’t get too into senshi things, not wanting to worry his father considering the last issue in mirrorspace. The conversation did turn serious when he asked if his father had gotten the box of masks he’d sent - he was worried for his family in China. With an assurance that the box had arrived, and masks handed out to family members, he was smiling. At least the masks would help them all a little bit, though he did wish they could come here instead of remaining in China where it was unsafe.
After some more talk, half of it going in one ear and out the other, his father seemed to have noticed his distracted son and questioned it. Shaking his head he forced a smile. “I just...I’ve had something on my mind - a request. But it just...it feels out of place...like I shouldn’t ask.”
It wasn’t a moment later that his father was assuring him he could ask whatever he wanted, that he would see what he could do, Xi-Wang shouldn’t feel like he couldn’t ask for things. His father went to calm his nervous son, understanding by now how his son was, it did make the man hate his former wife just a bit more. The emotional damage she’d done to their son, he was still fighting it, and all because she hadn’t liked the arranged marriage and took it out on her son. It was what changed her from a kind woman into a monster, as far as he saw her, but he wouldn’t find her and he wouldn’t hurt her. If Xi-Wang ever found out harm had come to her, and worse yet found out where from, it would upset him. The older man wouldn’t do that to his son, he was too gentle.
Taking another moment, or two, Xi-Wang spoke up once his father was done speaking. “I live with two friends of mine, as I’ve told you, but one of them does not like a friend of mine...a very close friend of mine. I cannot have her over - ever. Now I have another friend in need of a home and I cannot help him - he has no one...I want to help.” He was desperate to help his ex but he also wished he could invite Rhona over from time to time, but he couldn’t. Every time they spent time together it was under her roof or outside of the home altogether, it could never be where he lived.
“I don’t have enough money, I work part time and I go to school, b-but I think I want a place of my own. I want my friend to be able to move in and if Fanglan wanted to visit she could then, because I can’t impose of my friends, a-and if she wanted to live here for a short time it would be ok then.” His words had started to come out quicker, rambling, as he tried to make his point as best he could despite the nerves swarming his stomach and setting it fluttering.
“A-and I’d like to invite people over without worrying.” He’d like to invite Gabriel over, not that he didn’t already, without feeling like asking a parent permission to have a boyfriend over. He didn’t always ask, he didn’t think he needed to, but the feeling was still there. It would be worse if he decided to ever ask the other to move in - he’d need someones permission first.
Xi-Wang didn’t like worrying about what Nischal and Jason may, or may not, hear as well. It didn’t matter what he had ever heard from Niscahl and Jason - it was their home. But he was the shy sort about such things, personally, and got embarrassed when he thought they might have heard anything. For some reason he didn’t think he’d worry with Caleb, at least not in the same way, and his sister if she ever came over would just tease him in that sistery way she teased him about other things.
The chuckle from his father, a warm sort of laughter, brought him out of his own thoughts and had his attention back where it needed to be. His father seemed amused by his stammering explanation of things and even outright asked if he also wanted his own place for other reasons - for private reasons. Feeling his cheeks warm he was slow and hesitant in nodding his head. His sister had told him, more than once, that it would be ok if their father knew about him. He wouldn’t be mad or disown him or anything, she knew he worried about losing the family he’d only just gained, but that hadn’t given him enough confidence to tell his father.
When his father asked if he was dating someone his head nodded again, not going to deny it, he smiled a bit. “They are a court member also...I found them last year during the lunar new year celebration in the city. It was luck me and two others found them.” It was like it was meant to be. They had such luck right from the start of the new year, and it had held as far as he figured.
Shaking his head, slowly, when his father asked what she was like he ducked his head. It was now or never - he couldn’t lie. He couldn’t tell his father a lie...especially one this big. “T-they aren’t. I’m sorry...I’m so sorry. I didn’t tell you sooner - I didn’t want you to disown me or hate me. I - I...they aren’t - they aren’t...they’re male.” Stumbling on his words and his voice cracking he didn’t lift his head but rather bowed it as deeply as he could. Waiting to hear whatever his father would say. He didn’t expect his father to comment on his sister and he should have guessed. She had been poking around to figure out what he thought of gay people, and seeding the idea here and there, he understood now. She had been making sure her brother was safe. With his father than, after some time talking about his sister, assuring him that it was ok - he would not be disowning him, Xi-Wang did lift his head. “Thank you. I have worried a lot over this. When I can I will introduce you to each other. He is half Chinese and speaks well. It feels strange inviting him over - to my room. I cannot ask him to move in if I wanted, not without asking permission from my friend first. I would like to ask him to move in on my own - to have friends over when I want.” He wanted freedom and choice and his father understood it, thankfully.
More talking, a lot more, with telling his father about Gabriel and about Caleb he was able to assure his father that both people were good people - that Gabriel was a good boyfriend and he did care greatly for him. Shifting about in his seat he pulled a pillow into his lap to hold onto as he pressed his chin to the silk pillowcase.
When his father finally did assure him that he’d help, that he’d pay for the place, he shook his head when asked if he’d found a place yet - or had any places in mind. “No...not yet. I wanted to ask you first before looking. I didn’t want to get mine or Caleb’s hopes up...now we can look...and he can help with paperwork...since I don’t know anything about the contracts and things. He’s had a place of his own so I think he knows more than I would. I mean I’m sure I could show you the paperwork also, somehow, if you wanted.” Incase his father wanted to help or had a clue on these things, which he was sure he did.
When his father waved it off, with a bit of a smile, Xi-Wang was nodding his head to the next words. He knew he and Caleb would be able to handle this and his father would support them. He could ask Gabriel to move in then and they’d all be safe and sound under one roof. “I’ll be sure to find and send more masks if I can father...but I need to be going. It’s late now and I need to get to bed. I’ll talk to you as soon as me and Caleb have figured things out and have a place in mind.”
When he hung up the call his chair was pushed back and with a stretch he went to crawl into his bed. He had things to do - lots of things. Talks needed to be had and more….so much more. But he was excited and pleased...content. Word count: 1,635
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Posted: Wed Feb 12, 2025 11:22 am
February 12, 2025 The lunar new year was something XiWang had been celebrating since moving out of his mothers home, years ago, because it was a part of his heritage. It had been a part which his mother had denied him, and herself, all because she had been ashamed of her race. She had moved away years ago, along with her wife and their adopted daughter, and he hadn’t heard a thing since. He doubted she kept in touch with anyone from the asian community in Destiny City, she seemed so against her own race, he still found time every lunar new year to send well wishes her way even though she had detestied and resented him. She was still his mother, and his elder, and he did his best.
His other family, his father and both sets of grandparents, were video called and talked to every year on the first day of the new year before his sister, his partners, and himself would have a big dinner which they’d all worked to prepare. This year had been no different, it had gone off as it usually did, and today he was out at the market getting things for dinner tonight. It was always nice to buy what was used that night for meals, so it was all as fresh as could be.
As he wandered the store he picked up what would be needed for dumplings, one of his favorite foods, as well as what would be needed for side dishes. It was while he wandered the store that he picked up other odds and ends, some foods that were in special lunar new year packaging while others were box sets which meant a better price. It was all good what he got, he was price checking everything, as he stocked up on some things they needed in the apartment.
On the way to the registers he stopped off to grab some fresh fruits, they went through a lot of fruit in the house, and so he was always buying fruit when at the grocery store. Wrapping everything into bags he took a whole box of asian pears, those were a particular favorite in the house, and off he headed for the check out line. It was while in line that he heard an old auntie, small and frail looking, talking to what he assumed was her middle aged daughter, and he caught bits and pieces of the conversation.
They were talking about his mother, at least he assumed as much, the name was right and as they continued to talk he was certain of it. What they were saying matched his mother, in behavior and other areas, as he blindly put things up onto the belt he continued to listen. It seemed his mother had gotten into an accident and not made it, her wife had posted online about it and word had spread because this aunties friend had heard about it from a friend…who had heard about it from their daughter. That daughter had been following his mothers social media account and had seen the post.
So his mother was dead, and apparently it had happened the day before the lunar new year started, and XiWang didn’t know how to feel about it. It was a mixed bag…very mixed. He felt for the daughter she had adopted…and he felt for the mother he’d once known, before she’d decided to hate him so very much, but for the woman she had become - nothing. Hurrying to pay XiWang hurried out to the parking lot where he took a moment, letting his car warm up, and sent a text to his father as well as his maternal grandparents so they knew. They would, without a doubt, look into it in order to confirm it…and then they would mourn. He wasn’t sure if they’d do anything else, he was sure his maternal grandparents would do something, but he didn’t think his father would do anything about it and he understood. It looked like the new year had decided to bring him news about his mother and to bring some closure to what had damaged his life for years.
Finally setting his phone down he pulled out of the parking spot and headed home - to his family.
The new year had only just started and already something big had happened, even if he wanted to deny it was a big thing, but it was. What else would the new year bring? He could only imagine. For now though he wanted to get home and make food…and talk to his remaining family, maybe get some feelings out, he wasn’t entirely sure what to feel…or rather how to express it and he needed to.
Word count: 787
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