It was a hard choice but then, it wasn't. To sacrifice her emotions for a chance to be something greater, something that could help save people...
It was a choice she'd make any day.
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 1:54 pm
Anya -Emotions
She was rushing about,the thin vines struggling to keep up with te bundle of emotion and memories that made Anya Anya. She still had time! She still had time to escape to be free....
Except now she didn't.
Time had run out and she felt it the instant it occurred. The vines fell away and she began to fade. Everything that was her drained away slowly and the despair and fear went with it.
'In a way', whisper all the vines around. 'I am a legacy that is used by others. Such decisions are not my own.'
Lies, she thought in the last instant before Creation clawed her into pieces and she became part of it.
She found her memories taken from her and shifted through; as they did so a bit of herself came back.. was given back to her. She saw her body succumb to the infection... Its this things fault. She thought with a flicker of anger going through the small sense of self.
'You understand now', Creation whispered to her, large and all around, making her feel small and lonely. 'I am a legacy that cannot be used to destroy. As all memories are harvested, they are also given creation. There is one last thing I would like you to see'.
Before she could snarl back anything images flowed through her. Doors,doors she had seen before. Forced to go through each one she gained emotions and memories in each, growing, changing as she saw more.
Anger. Pride. Regret and fear. Hope. Conflict and confusion.. and nothing.
Finally a green door...
Beyond was a replica. It had her memories but no emotions... "What is it like?" Her emotionless impersonator asked but she could not respond. Could not tell herself that emotions made everything worth it. Otherwise why bother? She could tell that there was no rejoining.. her memories were there... and her emotions were here.
"Do emotions dictate your actions?" She wanted to nod, to say yes. That emotions drove your heart which could make up your mind.. that logic wasn't always right. Sometimes you had to go with what your heart felt, with your gut.
"I do not understand. Why struggle when accepting gives you more?" Because to accept would be to lose herself! Then there'd be no more her! She would not be! It didn't matter that the big thing she'd been forced to join was great or not... she didn't want it. It would never be her... and she only wanted to be herself again.
Suddenly she was memories now... and the impersonator had her emotions. She felt hollow and empty. Filled with bright objects she would never fully understand since she had no emotions.. just pictures of her past.
"And what purpose would you have? You would be used, again and again, you would never make your own choice." The Impersonator whispered. I am helping others, she thought back, without much enthusiasim. She was numb and would follow the Creation.
'Then you will die.' Never, now I am part of something bigger. One part of many.
'I am afraid." You need not be, there is no fear here.
'I am myself.' I am myself as well. We both are. We are at a crossroads...
'What happens if we remain?' We will become powerful. We will potentially save countless lives, we will potentially forge countless empires.
'And what happens if we leave?' We will become separated and weak. We will struggle, fade, and die, but remain as we once were.
Then they were one for one brief second as a question was asked. What to you, is Creation?
Anya shook her head and left her memories.. emotion was the way to go. CREATION could have her memories! If it meant living as an emotional husk than she wanted nothing to do with it! She was her own person, one of one.. not one of many! She would never be part of some stupid hive mind! Never!
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Xaki
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 2:08 pm
This was their ending.. their assimilation into the concept known as Creation. Each door held different emotions, different paths that Sho had chosen to take that lead him to this final place. He watched as his memories were taken from him, swept in a flood as he stepped through each door. Brie, Alex, October, Lola, and Rook. The people who had accompanied him throughout this entire journey stayed for just an instant- not forgotten, but quickly moved on from.
The conversation confused him at first, as there remained two selves arguing against each other. It was then he realized that his emotions and memories were divided. They were no longer part of each other. And they would never once again be together. "I have to make a choice, do I?" An ironic, and bitter smile twisted the doctor's lips. This couldn't end with simple death. Really, Creation was convoluted as usual.
If he kept his memories, he would be turned into something beyond human but forever able to keep his knowledge of what had transpired.
If he kept his emotions, he would be able to stay human yet the information he had so desperately seeked would be lost to him, possibly for forever.
It was easy to decide. He reached out for memories as the loss of knowledge was unthinkable for a scientific mind. He could bear with the burden. Creation was so much more then the simple being he was. In his single minded pursuit, he wouldn't stop merely because he would no longer be human. Even if he would fall into an eternal state that was no longer living, nor was it dying. Becoming a legacy was akin to an inescapable life.. and yet, the doctor was willing to become a monster.
But a thought nagged at his mind, stopping him nearly physically in his tracks. A last remnant of opposition stuck in the unimportant corner of his mind. "Didn't you make a promise to somebody?" What promise..? Ah, the one he made with Rook, was it? "If we survived through this." He doubted it was of much importance at this stage. He had said something similar to Brie as well, hadn't he? If they survived. The thought of life starting anew nearly exhausted the doctor. But if he could shoulder the burden of becoming a legacy, then surely he could shoulder the burden of living on even without these memories. There was no guarantee he would ever be able to meet his friends again, but perhaps they were better off not coming into his acquaintance. However, if they did meet though- would that alleviate his boredom? Would that make for new memories?
With a wry smile on his lips this time, he looked back towards where his old life remained. "Oh well, I guess I can choose emotions." Whether he would come to regret this choice remained to be seen. He didn't know if there was ever a right choice, there merely choices where you could live with the consequences.
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 2:32 pm
[ Pomelo Ranier Antonelli -- Emotions ]
She'd held onto that small, sliver of hope for so long, but as the days drew on and the last of those seven days approached Mel allowed the feeling to fall away. The idea of finding more, finding a world beyond the infected and rebuilding her life there…it just seemed so far from the realms of possibility now. How long had she hoped to be found in the apartments? How long had she held onto that same hope as she struggled through the past seven days in hopes of finding this place for shelter that there were promised? Yet there she was, staring into the distant horizon and wondering when her last day would be. For now she allowed herself to hope that it wasn't going to be today, that there was still a tomorrow that she could reach for, that she could worry for…
A part of her knew better.
Inside she'd lost all sense of that word. Hope. What it was, what it meant. Or perhaps it wasn't so much a lack of knowledge as it was an understanding of the word. What emotions should have gone with it. What she should have thought about when it came to mind. She was quickly fading as Creation slowly separated whatever emotions she should have had but already she felt…nothing. She didn't fight it, she didn't rebel as she once had earlier on. She let it happen as she supposed it was meant to happen. And then she heard a whisper, perhaps in her mind or perhaps from all the vines that made up Creation.
'In a way, I am a legacy that is used by others. Such decisions are not my own.'
Soon that picture reel of memories began to run on fast forward in her mind, though the memories she was now watching were not her own. There was no way of knowing how long she was allowed to watch, to know how much she would be allowed to see before she faded at last. For the longest time she knew nothing of what she saw, but gradually familiar things came through that reel. She witnessed a familiar city falling to pieces, the remainders of life gathered together into four factions and shoved through what felt like some sicker, more twisted version of the Hunger Games. At one point she zoomed in on a specific person, wielding a shotgun in the last days, caramel brown hair and blue eyes full of that same hope that she could no longer understand.
And then the reel moved forward and she watched that person crumble, succumb to the infection, fall away and die. And then she just…knew. That was her, and she had died. And it was over. And she understood for a moment what loneliness was like again.
'You understand now, I am a legacy that cannot be used to destroy. As all memories are harvested, they are also given creation.'
That loneliness took hold as she let the words sink in. She watched for as long as she was allowed to watch, looked on as her body just lay there, gone from the world, and then she was nudged forward.
'There is one last thing I would like you to see.'
The sight of a red door brings back memories of that dream that she'd had, with all the other doors. She was given options then, but now there was just the one door. She opened it and was thrust back to her experiences on that very first day. She recalled the bandits and the firefight and what she was made to do on that first day, and she suddenly felt the strongest surge of anger as she realized what going out beyond the apartments had led to. How they had been essentially used ushered forward without any more information, like lambs to a slaughter once the bandits were done with them. She felt somehow betrayed by their leaders, and abandoned by people she considered her makeshift family as she struggled through that day. A fractured arm. The undying scattered everywhere. All these memories that were there and then suddenly gone, but the anger remained for a moment longer before dwindling away, though it had never completely gone.
She was faced with a gold door next, and she recalled the initial high and curiosity that came with the casino, followed by the harrowing experience in a dungeon. That boy that she tried to save but had been shot dead before her very eyes. She had a life on her hands and she let it die. And then she was thrust into the casino with knowledge of her own death if she didn't win back her freedom. As she watched herself wander and play those games a different feeling came over her, though, and she realized that amidst the worries of never escaping, or wondering what fate awaited her if she didn't win enough coins for herself, she had some semblance of confidence in her abilities to win. She gambled and played and won, and then tried again only to lose but she fought on. She was sucked into such memories for a time, allowing herself to be swept away by that feeling of confidence until it was taken from her, but feeling stayed with her. Something felt off, and it was growing, but she was forced to move on.
The next door was white and she was thrust back into the hospital. Where she experienced the ghosts of her family. Illusions of her failure to save her. Failure to find them, to even attempt it out of fear of what she might find. Now she would never know if her family had survived and they haunted her through visions and illusions. The fog seemed to know that weakness, and in her weakness plunked her in a place where there was undying everywhere. More than ever before, and she fought to survive it. Who could she trust when even their faction leaders had transformed into those things, though they did manage to save them both. She'd been filled with worry and anxiety as she remembered all these things until at last these memories, too, were pulled away from her. But she didn't feel empty anymore, not after that.
The blue door the came next crumbled away as she touched it, and it felt as though she was watching a movie. Someone had come to save her, and though she fought him off and he was forced to fend her off to make sure they both survived, she felt suddenly as though her life still mattered to someone, somewhere. That she had been worth saving, that she hadn't been forgotten and that she wouldn't be left there to die alone in the middle of that abandoned highway. That understanding of hope seemed trickle back and if she could have smiled that same, small smile she always had when she was unsure but relieved about something, she would have right then. She watched the man struggle through the same places she struggled, wielding a sword and fending off the undying the best way he knew how. The hope swelled just a bit until she was pulled away from these memories as well, and she was left feeling markedly different than when this all began.
As she came upon the violet door, she felt an odd sense of…separation. She watched two versions of herself work to survive, one was outside in the world while the other was inside, wrapped in vines. Trapped, almost, but both mirrored the other's thoughts in a way. One questioned Creation, her sense of self, while the other simply went on to survive. One didn't question what tomorrow might bring, the other often looked to the horizon and pondered her future. She watched as the two co-existed and she felt a little confused, a little split between the two, a little conflicted, though they both sought survival in a sense. Which one was she meant to be? Which one was more of a reality than the other? She sat and watched the two for a time until she was at last ushered away, and she felt something linger from what feelings overtook.
She came upon a black door next which she entered and then came out of. And that was all she could recall, walking inside and walking outside of it, though she knew something had happened based on what she was feeling. It was not the kind she could explain, other than it being different than how she felt going inside. And she was fine with that, so she moved on.
The green door was last, she remembered from her previous dream as she opened it and entered. And all her memories were coalesced there, and as she watched them unfold she at last understood. As they faded away she watched a replica of herself begin to form in their place, and when the replica looked up she asked.
'What is it like? What is it like to experience emotions?'
The memories came to her once more, each and every one eliciting a feeling, an emotion from her as they passed through in her mind yet the words to even attempt an explanation never came, and she felt suddenly incomplete. The replica spoke again.
'Do these emotions dictate your choices?'
She nodded her head and tried to get just a single word to confirm her answer, but again nothing came. Instead she suddenly felt alive again. She experienced her life to the fullest, and in that singular moment felt everything and then it was gone the next. A sense of sadness came next. and fear that she would never feel again but at the same time joy that she could feel so much in such little time. Still the replica watched, confused, and spoke again.
'I do not understand. Why struggle when accepting gives you more?'
No sooner had the replica said this did she suddenly feel nothing, though she understood everything. She knew what Creation was at last, what it's purpose was and what had to be done. She felt no need to feel or fight, just to obey was natural as she became one with Creation, just a gathering of memories to be assimilated and nothing more. She thought she might be content with this until something whispered once more.
'And what purpose would you have? You would be used, again and again, you would never make your own choice.'
She shook her head in disagreement. No, she would make her own choices. She would help others, more than she would ever be capable of doing on her own.
'Then you will die.
No, she tried to say though in her mind she already understood. She would be ageless, beyond death, and she would always, always have a purpose. She would never need to be in search of one again.
'I am afraid.'
She watched the original her, confused at the statement at first. She no longer knew what fear felt like, so she did not understand.
'I am myself.'
So am I, she thought, though once again the words refused to leave her. She simply understood. She simply knew. The path was clear, she thought, they needed to choose.
'What happens if we remain?'
She knew. Power, and the capability to save countless lives.
'And what happens if we leave?'
She knew that as well. They would separate and become weak and once more would need to struggle, to survive, but they would return to who and what they were at the beginning. We would be who we once were, she thought. And as the thought ended both sides of herself drew together, giving her just a moment to choose. Purpose but without emotions or to struggle through life once more, to live and be who she had always been.
The choice was clear, and she sided with her emotions. Slowly she watched as her memories separated from her once again, watched as her replica faded away. She recalled the many memories that brought her to this point. The memories that helped her to survive well past what would have normally been her breaking point. She feared for her life and struggled. She worried for her future and struggled. She'd made decisions that led to her regrets and anxieties and worries but she struggled and she survived and the moment when all these emotions had converged into one reminded her of why she chose to feel.
Her emotions made her who she was, helped her experience the world in a way that only she could experience it. And over time she would have memories again, as she lived and struggled and survived. What mattered at this point was that she would be herself, and that was all she needed.
A small smile settled on her lips as she closed her eyes and faded away as well.
Rorrow looked around...smiling softly he went with his emotions. There was on in particular he wanted to explore more in depth. He just had to find a few people to do so...
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 2:43 pm
[Corven Graves - Emotion]
Corven chuckled...he looked to his memories and shook his head. Not this time...he reached out for his emotions. He had things to do...it wasn't like he need all that in depth pyscho-babble anyways.
Lennard had been on his way back to the Apartments, having done his part to street sweep and clear up what undying he could manage. He'd fought harder as things escalated, trying to find his way among the chaos that had been left in the wake of the Apocalypse. He was striving, still fighting to survive. Lenny had hope. Tomorrow would be a better day. He wanted to believe it was going to be alright, until he realized his waking mind was fading.
At first he thought it was some paranoid break like what had happened to him at the hospital. Something in him told him he was fading, slipping away back into the tower. He'd fought to escape his dream prison, but now it was calling him back. Was life not what it seemed? Were they all living in a dream?
All the sorrows he had seen, and the trials he had endured all seemed to fade away into the bleak vast see of feelings and emotions. Lennard tried to claw for them at first, but Creation wanted him to understand. His body was dissolving, fading away until all that remained was his conscious mind. His memories were being chewed at, ripped away from him as he was forced to dissociate once again. Only this time there was only two of him, and his thoughts and feelings weren't his own.
The vast sea of assimilation made his mind run cold with numb apathy. He watched as memories of Oscar, Renita, Sawyer, Wataru, Pomelo and all those at the Clearview Apartments were stripped from him. The more he saw, the more he knew. For a horrifying moment, he realized he was watching himself die. He didn't want to see the truth as his body succumbed to the virus at last, and the light faded from his eyes.
Why was he even surprised? Creation was calling to him.
Strangely however, he was given a sense of self as he gazed across the desolate landscape of the city of Delta. The overwhelming sense of self threatened to swallow him whole, but Creation was not ready for him to rest. It wanted to show him one last thing.
The choices of doors were before him once again, and unlike the memories he had of them, this time it was not about picking one. He had to see, and experience.
When he touched the red door Rage crawled beneath his skin like an itch that could not be denied. The fight with the bandits washed over him, the screams and panicked voices. The explosions, he remembered crashing to the ground as his sight exploded to nothing but black. He'd been outraged and terrified then, frustrated by the undying and infected that also hindered their progress. The maelstrom was raging, swells of outbursts trickled through occasionally. While time was meaningless, and he stayed there suspended in his own anger and doubt, Lennard was being ushered away, guided to the next thing.
Next he came upon a great gilded door. The memories of the casino came crashing down on him, the sounds of coins clinking together chilled him to the bone. An overwhelming sensation of decadence and posh luxury swirled all around him. Outrage poured through him at having to buy his own life, and the panic of being terrified for those he cared for. How naive he had been, the intoxicating air of the casino had lulled him into a false sense of security. An overwhelming sense of pride and self-confidence choked at him, and was glad to be pulled away from these lingering memories. He felt just a little different just then.
Then there was a white door. The feeling was intrusive and oppressive as he was swept up in the lingering foreboding presence. He was lost in white and hazy fog for what seemed an eternity. Regret plagued him, just as remorse threatened to envelop and strangle him. He was drowning under the tide. Lennard was alone, and the weight of being forgotten brought him to his knees. No one was coming for him, he'd just been a waste of space. A drain on resources.
The fourth door was Blue, and came to him when he was feeling most like he'd fallen to pieces. The experience was surreal, and out of body. His memories were foggy and distorted, but it all became clear as he saw a fire in the darkness. A strange human with feline-like features was before him. His cat-like eyes had stared at him, judging him before deciding to help...a small sense of hope pushed at Lennard's soul, he had not been forsaken. When he left it behind, there was yet another door.
The violet door split him in two upon entering it. There were two very different sets of emotions at work. Both were genuine, and called for his attention. His vine entangled self, and that of his human one. The duality of the last few days became clear to him. One struggled for the promise of tomorrow, the other sought to be complete. The conflicting natures confused him, they were the same but wanted two very different things. He couldn't linger for long; he'd been pulled through the sixth door. A black one, and for whatever reason he could not remember anything from it.
Perhaps that was for the best.
At last there was one final door, just like before it loomed before him. Only this one was a shade of brilliant verdant. Reaching one final time for a door handle, he twisted the knob and pushed onward. Inside, there was a perfect replica of memory. It was completely unlike him, and it did not understand him. What is it like? His other self-questioned. What is it like to experience emotions? Lennard tried to explain, to make the other understand. It meant to be free, to have the ability to react and respond! The roles were reversed, and emotions questioned the stoic figure. You would be used, again and again, you would never make your own choice. The voice whispered. Lennard felt anger bubbling in his chest. He was making a choice! Lennard had made many along the way.
Time was beginning to run short, they didn't have the leisure to keep arguing like this.
For one glorious moment, Lennard felt as if he was whole. He felt complete as the two Waring voices converged into one as they had meant to be. There was but one final choice for Lennard to make. What to you, is Creation? While he had two paths to pick from, he already knew what he wanted. Without his emotions, he was not Lennard Manchester. His memories were something he could recreate, and make new. They had been precious, and he wanted to hold onto them, but without his emotions how would he exist?
He knew what he wanted, he didn't need to linger over the choices that had been presented.
"Emotions..! I want them." Lennard finally spoke up as his eyes slowly began to close. He'd give up his memories, he'd make new ones. He felt like he was fading again, and for the first time since he'd been forced into this survival horror story, he didn't fight.
Lennard instead let himself sink into the black abyss, searching for that which was his. His body.
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 3:13 pm
[Mike Smithson - sides with EMOTIONS!]
Mike felt he was fading but it wasn't a bad feeling at all. He heard the vines talk to him. They talked about knowledge, wisdom and last creation which was really important. He was part of something bigger. They told him of a legacy and how it wasn't ones own choice. That was how it was. His memories got separated from his emotions and it felt like it had to happen. It was how it was ment to be. It was odd how easily he accepted everything.
He started to see thousands of memories some were new to him and some he knew. He saw strangers and people he knew. He saw what had happened to him the last month and all the things that had happened the last few days. He saw the Mall and everyone in it. The Mall with the people who had become family to him. He saw a familiar body body succumbs to infection. It was really strange to witness as it was his own body he had seen. It talked about creation again and he was nudged forward. They wanted to show him one last thing and he wanted to see it too so he moved forward.
He saw doors again. He remembered facing many such doors before and that he saw every time close to three and picked one to open. This time he didn't get to pick doors. He just saw one now a red one and he entered it. He saw everything that had happened in the first zone. He saw the Bandits and he saw the undying and the infected. There he had to do things for them. He saw all the things he had to do there. How he searched that building and found horrible things and nothing useful and didn't really get rewarded for it. He felt his anger grow. As he saw everything happen again. When he left the door he felt different.
The next door was gold and he remembered the casino again. How he didn't like that he had to buy himself back which seemed unfair. He always hated casino's and he hated this one even more. It had been really overwhelming with all the noices and lights and the rush of having to buy yourself back. He was forced to play casino games and he bought himself free but he had been worried about who didn't do so. He was relieved when the lights went out and everyone escaped.
The next door was white and he saw the fog again. He also saw the creepy hospital. How he had seen things in the hospital that weren't there and how he had heard phones ringing that didn't really ring. Everything there had been unreal. An illusion and he left this door feeling different again.
The blue door made him feel slightly better as he saw the one savin him. Someone who would probably remember him. He had saved that person back. He also felt how the other felt as she was trying to save him. It was strange but also gave him hope. The violet door made him see himself as vines which was really strange to see the two version of him being there at the same time not knowing about the other. It were conflicting versions but both were him. Seeing himself like that made Mike feel very different but also made him wonder if the would even be one again. It was quite a shock to see himself twice but it also somehow made sense to him. When he left this door he felt very different from before and looked to the next door. He was sure more would come.
He saw a black door now and he walked towards it to open it. He went inside just as the other doors and came back out feeling different yet again. He couldn't even remember which memory had seen or what had happened to him after that door but he felt it must have been something important as he did feel different.
The door that followed felt a bit different he was sure it was going to be the last door just as it had been before. As he opened it memories started to unfold. As everything fades he sees himself as two forms. Emotion and memories. Both had a different "selve" and both were at the same time the same person. They were both Mike and both versions didn't fully understand each other and it was hard to explain things. Both versions were himself and he now had to chose. Did he have to stay with emotion or would he go for his memories. It was a hard choice he had to make as both were important to him. He wanted to be whole again but he knew that wasn't possible. He wanted to be normal again. The real Mike with his own body and feelings. His own emotions. He had fought to stay himself trying to stay alive. He wanted to go back to that even with the costs that would go with it. He parted with the memories as he could make new ones as he would stay himself. So he was now sure what to do. His choice was emotions!
OOC
Character's name: Mike Smithson Character's faction: 4 - The Mall Character's journal link:Journal Character's survival stats: #99 BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF MY CHARACTER He is average in appearance in build, length and posture. He has brown short hair, a white rather pale skin color and blueish/grey eyes. He wears black jeans and a white/light blue long sleeve shirt with buttons.
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Miliardo Kason
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:30 pm
Jacob Thatch Chooses.... MEMORIES!
So at the end of it all he stood there, or rather existed here. Standing wasn't much of a thing he could reference as he was simply existing in a space where his memories and emotions stared at one another contemplating what was next.
On one hand there was the life he had struggled so hard to maintain, the hope that after everything was said and done he would walk away from the nightmare of this past month of all the suffering and be able to say he was stronger then it.
Yet, he wasn't, memories flickered past of dreams, dreams of dying, of possibly having actually died? The edge of his life standing in darkness so warm and embracing. Only to be thrown back into the nightmare.
Would those memories be worth saving? Would the knowledge of everything he knew be worth more then the desire to live? He recalled the eyeless girl, the one who had saved him, who he in turn had pulled from the vines to spare her this fate it seemed. What had happened to her or any of the others being released from the vines? He wondered where the Boss was, Mia, that large beast of a man named Bing. All people he barely spent time with, yet in the past month where more family to him then his own. Would they live or pass on?
"I want to remember," he finally muttered, "I want to know what happened, so whatever happens next I can know. I can remember we survived I want to see what becomes of everyone after this."
He felt his other half starting to shimmer as his choice was made. "I will go on. As something else. I pick my memories."
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:46 pm
[ Raffin Lambington - Memories ]
He supposed it could have been worse, really. In fact, it most likely would have been worse, but really, it wasn't that bad at all, not in the way he had thought it might be. In fact, it was almost...pleasant, if he was being truly honest with himself.
The memories wafted through Raffin's mind like soft reminders of something long since past, and he thought of them wistfully, fondly.
But it was time to let go, not of them, not of the memories, but of something else entirely.
kuropeco
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kuropeco
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Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 4:52 pm
October Flynn - Emotions
He thought of them all.
Of Brie, and Alex, and Dr. Shouichi. Of Mel and Zelda and Wataru and Mr. Nordskov and Renita and Sunday - of Sunday, his beloved sister, sweet Sunday, who he hoped dearly was okay. All he had ever wanted, after all, was for her to be safe - for them all to be safe, everyone in that place where he'd felt so strongly about - and wasn't that why he'd tried so hard in the first place? Wasn't that why he'd done his best to protect the ones he cared for, held a place for them inside of his heart, secluded away for no one to see? It didn't matter about the glory or the recognition - October cared little for that - but he did care about them.
Which was why he had to take the path he was.
October Flynn ebbed away, but -
- but it was not the last of him, not anymore.
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:12 pm
Corey Lane - Memories
She understood, now. She understood everything.
The doors returned to her, and she went through them one after another. The red door, where her anger ran high as her little community was attacked and beaten. As emotions ran high in the stress of trying to survive. That had been the first time they had faced something outside of the University, and it never seemed fair. The gold door followed, and for a moment she was overcome with the excess and luxury of it all. The pride of her whole clan making it out alive. It only barely shadowed the fact she had, indirectly or perhaps even directly, killed a woman.
It was the white door that messed with her. She remembered the regret, the anxiety, the paranoia. She remembered losing her mind. When she clawed herself away from this door, she felt as though she had been scraped clean. Picked raw. The blue door offers a small reprieve, as someone else comes in to share her burden. All she remembered was white hair and yellow eyes. He eased her pain a little, and gave her a sliver of hope. Perhaps they could make it out of this. There was a small chance; she owed that, and likely her life, to this mystery man.
The world caved in, and showed her a violet door. This was where she split, and took two paths: these memories were surreal to her, and yet, somehow, they did not confuse her. It made sense that it would be this way, and there was no other way it could have been. One may suffer from confusion and anxiety, but she had always believed that somewhere, there was a version of her who didn't. The black door came next, but she couldn't recall this one when she left it.
There was the green door now, and the final one. It tied everything together, it made sense…and then it brought her to a crossroads. Emotions, or Memories. She saw herself with only memories, and craving emotion. She saw herself with emotion, but understood the struggle that it caused. How futile it all seemed. How fleeting their choices actually were.
There, standing at the crossroads, Corey realized that she only ever had one option. The one, surefire way to keep everyone together, and intact. The one thing that would never leave, though it may fade over time. In the end, it was likely emotions that dictated her path, but the truth remained: Corey would side with memories every time.
Memories... or Emotions? Jayson stood with indecisiveness staining his every thought. If he chose memories.... he'd get to keep them.. all the good times he had with July... and all the guilt and sadness that took place in chunks of his memories. Was it worth not having July physically with him?... They could start new, together... Become better as a whole. He could make new memories with July... and the others that chose the same path.. and live. They all have fought so hard to survive... just to become part of this; part of creation.
Jay looked to July then back to his other self. "July, I want to live. I want to feel... to love, to be happy and sad.. with you.. Even if it has to be all over again." He told him, taking his hand. "I choose emotions... I choose to stay with July... To make a new life with him.." He looked back to him. "With you." With his decision, he started to fade... to go back to his body. He reached out for July, his hand awaiting the other. "Join me.... please... come with me." He told him.
OOC
Infection Rate: 35/100 Character's name: Jayson "Jay" Slider Character's faction: Mall Character's journal link:#131 Character's survival stats: GO HERE BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF MY CHARACTER Jay stands as 5' 11" and has a very athletic build. He has short strawberry blond hair and green eyes. He has sleeve tattoos on both arms and a small tattoo on his chest. He has piercing on his left ear.
leon_a_darkangel
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:54 pm
[Matilda - Emotion]
Was this what creation was? A collection of memories from the sea of victims that had managed to make it past the initial trials of the outbreak? She looked on in quiet contemplation as images flashed through her mind. Some were of her own experiences, some were of others, making up a melting pot of thoughts.
Slowly, the images began to show buildings and landmarks that struck a chord in her memory: the city Delta. The place where Matilda's university resided. Even as she watched the events of the past seven days unfold before her, she longed to go back... but she knew it was impossible now. She knew as she watched a human, her own self, succumb to the infection that had been present within them all since the beginning. It was too late to go back since she was already gone. They were all gone. She hadn't been able to protect or save anyone. It had been impossible from the beginning.
A voice echoes within Matilda's mind... it wanted to show her something...
A red door hadn't been what she expected. It was familiar, though Matilda couldn't quite put her finger on where she had seen it. Going through the door, Matilda was pulled through the events at the casino. Anger welled up in her as she watched the young man try to flee and die. It steadily increased as she watched the people around her play frantically for coins that would save them and their friends. Before she could cry in outrage, Matilda was swept from the scene to a new door.
The yellow door held the casino once more, but the feel was vastly different. It felt decedent, soothing, lulling. It was a feeling that you never wanted to go away. She had everything... nothing could be more important than that feeling. As she was swept away once more, the change in herself had become more drastic.
The hospital laid behind the white door. The fog seemed to eat away at her previous confidence, as it had during her original visit. She had met people in passing, but she had never really been part of anything big. She was just a number in the group. Pathetic little number four. Matilda sighed in relief when she was able to leave the door behind.
Matilda remembered this only vaguely. The scarfed creature that tried to save her. It had hit her while she attacked in her panic, but it had done its best to save her from the giant horse that pursued them. Maybe Matilda hadn't been so alone. At least one being had cared enough to help her with no expectancy of reward or compensation.
The violet door was strange. it showed the experiences of two different entities. Matilda knew better, though. They were both her. One was the form she knew well, while the other was composed of vines.Her human self lived its life as she usually did, while her vine self merely wandered, searching for... something. Matilda had no idea what she was searching for. Perhaps a way back to her body, or possibly a way out.
Matilda's trip through the black door left her confused. She couldn't remember a thing about her experience on the other side... was that good in the end?
Lastly, the green door. It held Matilda's memories. Her eyes clouded over with tears as she relieved the seven days that she experienced on her own and in the company of others. It felt so nostalgic. The days were hard, but in a way, she had enjoyed them. Simply trying to live day-to-day had given her some sense of fulfillment. One that she might never be able to get back.
As Matilda's consciousness ebbed in the grasp of the vines, she contemplated everything that had happened. The first uncertain day upon the roof... her days spent at the university... fighting her way out of the casino... all of that had led to this. So many things had happened, and so many emotions had coursed through her during those times. Some days were riddled with stress and anxiety... some with satisfaction of a job well done... some with the determination to persevere.
When it came down to it, which did she value more: the experiences or the feelings that drove her decisions?
Deep down, Matilda knew what she desired. New memories could always be made, but her feelings made her what she was. She wasn't ready to lose what made her unique, not quite yet.
With the last of her strength, she held onto her emotions like a life raft in a vast sea of darkness that swept over her.
Myoukin
Dedicated Mage
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Zee Oddwyn
Tenacious Bookworm
Offline
Posted: Wed Oct 07, 2015 5:59 pm
As Bing was paraded through a host of different doors, he increasingly found himself of two minds on the experience. And then those two minds lost touch with one another. Emotions and Memories considered the options before them, one coldly logical, one raging in the moment. To continue on, to never die was a temptation. But his emotions wouldn't accept it. To be used by someone else. For all his memories- his memories to be merely preserved like a taxidermy of his life... Never. Not on your goddamn life!
Emotions casted Memories aside.
OOC
Character's name: Bing Bonhomme Character's faction: Prison Character's journal link:Here Character's survival stats: View BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF MY CHARACTER A great hulk of a man. Strong, but with little muscle definition. Slick-backed blonde hair, pale blue eyes. Waist-Up Special Weapons: ??? dagger! [ ??? Daggers ]: A pretty interesting item. When used to strike undying, it causes them to instantly disappear. This can only be used for NON BOSS MOBS that have 80 or less HP. ((OOC: The monster instantly dissipates, go ahead and collect loot) 3/3 uses left Junkyard Perks: Full House: Subtract 1 to all damage you take per post.
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