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 Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 6:23 pm
Everything hurt - his head, his heart, his entire body. Tolliver felt as though he was drowning in everything, clawing his way up to the top of a river that was rushing above his head, and he wanted desperately to reach the top so that he could breathe again, so that he could fill his lungs with much needed air.
Hitch's voice, soft and gentle, reached his ears through the haze of confusion and panic, firm hands on his wrists to tug at his hands. Tolliver couldn't move them away yet, frozen in place, every single word ebbing painfully and wonderfully into him. The shaking breath Hitch took, the small admittance of a life Tolliver didn't know about yet; they were all small cracks in the shell that surrounded Logan Hitchcock, so that bits of light shone through, illuminating the path in front of him.
A half choked sob, half laugh, escaped him at dumbass. He felt a kiss on the back of his hand and Tolliver dug his heels into his eyes, trying in vain to stop the dampness, but it was too late. His cheeks grew damp, tears streaking down, and nothing he could do would stop them now.
The realization was sinking into him, slow but steady - Hitch wanted him. Hitch needed him, Hitch didn't want him to leave, he wanted him to stay, wanted him to be in his life, regardless of what Tolliver did - or didn't - have to bring him. Another little sob escaped him, and he still had the cigarette in his hand, but Tolliver felt as though his chest was about to burst with everything inside of it.
Slowly, he lowered his hands, and his eyes were red rimmed, and his face blotchy and probably unattractive and wet, and Hitch was right in front of him and he was the most beautiful thing in the world, and if there was ever a doubt in Tolliver's mind that he was falling hard and fast in love with Logan Hitchcock, there was zero doubt now.
"I don't want to run away from you," Tolliver whispered hoarsely, helplessly. "I'm...completely ******** yours, Logan."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 6:51 pm
Even if it was more of a sob than a laugh, it still encouraged Hitch to press on, endeared him and made him adore Tolliver even more than before. Each time that he thought he'd hit a limit, a plateau, he did or said something else and Logan found himself sliding further down the hole he knew he'd never climb out of. His fingertips grazed over Tolliver's knuckles as he pressed them hard onto his eyes, trying to let him know it was okay, that there was no need at all for it.
Then, finally, the hands lowered - and to Hitch, his lover was as stunning as he'd ever been. He met Tolliver's red rimmed eyes and smiled, shifting closer still, rolling smoothly from a crouch until he was on his knees in front of his lover, one hand resting lightly on his thigh. He didn't want to get emotional about it, never wanted to get emotional about anything really, but in spite of himself he sniffed hard once while his eyes got a little stupidly misty. There wasn't a single thing in the world he thought he wanted to hear more than that, now or ever.
"Ditto, " he whispered, leaning in and peppering warm kisses all along Tolliver's face, from his temple to his brow to his nose to his damp cheeks and beneath his eyes. His other hand swooped up and his thumb swiped beneath Tolliver's cheek, curling there for a moment before sliding down to press against his chest.
"I know... it's a shitty situation, but... " His lips lingered at the corner of Tolliver's, "Y'know, I - I'm really ********' glad you're - that you'll be here with me."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:09 pm
He caught the sniff and the faint mist in Hitch's eyes right before Hitch leaned in, and Tolliver's eyes fluttered shut at the kisses to his reddened face, and one hand moved to rest on Hitch's where it laid on his thigh, holding it in place. His other hand, the one that still held the cigarette (now on the verge of going out), lifted to touch the side of his face.
Hitch would be able to feel the rapid beating of Tolliver's heart against his ribs, unable to be calmed yet, still running rampant. But he had never before felt so warm and so adored as he did at this moment, with Hitch beside him, with Hitch enveloping him in his touches and his kisses and his voice and his smiles, and his words, and everything that made him who he was.
Another small sob escaped him, but a tremulous smile had at least managed to find its way onto Tolliver's face - and a second later, it had morphed into something shy and anxious and quiet as he looked at Hitch's face, his eyes meeting his.
"I love being here with you," Tolliver whispered, helplessly honest, and he pressed the barest, faintest of kisses against Hitch's lips. "And I...Logan, I like you."
Another sharp intake of breath, trembling. "I like you so much."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:43 pm
He did feel it - and he loved it, his fingers curling and uncurling as though it would do anything to soothe his furiously beating heart - then, finally, it slipped away, just for now. It lifted instead to steal the remnants of the cigarette from Tolliver's fingers. When Hitch pulled back, not too far, just far enough, he brought it to his lips and took a long drag, enough to finish it. He tilted his head away as he exhaled the plume of smoke and snuffed out the butt in the ashtray.
Then, he was looking back at Tolliver, his hand moving to cup the side of his face again, cradling his cheek in his palm. That smile, if he hadn't already been on his knees, might've made them weak. The kiss ended too soon, but as always, what Tolliver said - it was perfect. It was enough to be real, and he savored every word of it.
"I like you too, " he murmured, almost in a sigh - a content sigh - and his face tilted down, burrowing into the crook of Tolliver's neck. He nuzzled into his warmth and scent for a few seconds before he began to kiss him there with long, sensual brushes of his lips, teasing the soft skin between his teeth and humming deep in his throat. "Can I show you how much?" and this time it was a purr as his hand slid a little further up Tolliver's thigh. "Let me babe."
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Posted: Thu Aug 13, 2015 7:53 pm
He let the cigarette be pulled from his trembling fingers, emotions still running high in Tolliver's veins. He still wasn't back to normal, not yet; it would take more than just one night for him to be dragged out of his depression and the anxiety that threatened every core of his being. But he felt better, felt at least like he could continue to put one foot in front of the other instead of simply staying at a standstill.
Tolliver's eyes fluttered at the hand on his face, and automatically he tilted his head into it, his fingers fluttering against Hitch's where he kept them pressed. The look on Hitch's face was enough to make his stomach twist, and his fingers slipped to tangle in the strands of his hair.
The long, deep kisses to his neck made him shiver, and this time it wasn't a simple desire to forget that spurred Tolliver on. It was a desire to remember, a desire to keep everything Hitch was saying deep within his heart, warm and safe.
"Logan," Tolliver murmured faintly, a soft intake of his breath, a sharp drag of air into his lungs making him feel weak. He tugged on Hitch's hair gently, drew his face back up so that he could look him in the eye, and Tolliver traced tender lines across his jaw and cheek with his fingertips.
He gave a single nod of his head; and Tolliver wrapped his arms around Hitch's neck, drew him into a deep and passionate kiss that spoke way more than words could ever have, and pulled him down onto the mattress with him.
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