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 Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 5:25 am
Hitch was not exaggerating when he said his showers were short. This time, he pushed himself to move a little faster than even his usual, unwilling to reflect too long or hard on what he'd done here today. - not out of regret. He was - Tolliver did make him happy. Wouldn't have happened again if he didn't want it to, and there hadn't been a drop of liquor involved to blame it on.
The look in Tolliver's eyes, the things he said, the things he did... No, not regret. It just meant facing a part of himself he hadn't been ready to confront again, especially not now. He still wasn't. So he focused on the basics: he gave shampooing his hair more attention than it deserved. He scrubbed extra hard. He tried to force himself to focus on the inane so when he left, maybe he wouldn't overthink his dynamic with Tolliver and ******** it up that much sooner.
More or less, it worked. About five minutes later he emerged from the shower, toweling his hair as dry as he could before wrapping it around his hips. Nothing to hide after all. Not physically, anyway. He emerged from the bathroom and sighed as cool air washed over him. "Tolli?" He stole a glance around for him, not that it'd be hard to find him; the only way he'd be out of sight is if he ducked under the blanket or flat out left.
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Posted: Sun Aug 02, 2015 7:39 am
Hitch's showers were indeed very short. Tolliver didn't think he'd been in there for more than five or six minutes before he appeared again - not that he minded this at all, except for the fact that he was standing there, holding the neckline of Hitch's shirt he was wearing up to his nose to breathe in the lingering scent of him.
Tolliver flushed guiltily, but Hitch was also only wearing only a towel, so he supposed they were even. He tried not to stare too much.
(He failed.)
"H-hey," he said, glancing down at the drum set he'd somehow managed to wind up beside again. Tolliver hastily let go of the shirt, letting it fall back to his thighs - but this brought up another reason to hide, because he still wasn't wearing any pants, which meant that his leg was on display for all - or rather, Hitch - to see.
Subtly, or at least, he tried to be subtle about it, Tolliver shifted slightly behind the drums, face painted red with shame and anxiety.
"Erm," he said hesitantly, fiddling with the hemline of the shirt. "Have - have a nice shower?"
He could have died from embarrassment of his lame question.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 2:32 am
Was Tolliver -
"Hey."
He was, wasn't he? Inhaling his scent like he was the addict instead of Hitch. A pleased flash of color spread across Hitch's cheeks at the realization, and doubly so when he realized Tolliver was staring. No matter how unattractive he felt most of the time, <********> if it didn't feel good to have someone look. No, more than that, it felt good to have Tolliver to look, didn't it?
"Yeah, I did, " and he had to pad closer to the drum set to get anywhere near his clothes anyway. An easy, lazy smile slipped onto his lips as he leaned over the drums, halfway, close but not too close. "You miss me?"
He didn't give him time to answer. Instead, he winked and chuckled as he eased back, heading over to grab a pair of pajama pants for himself. (Not like they were going anywhere.)
Once, twice, a thousand more times - he'd gladly tell Tolliver those scars didn't bother him at all. "Is pasta really okay with you? - we could order something else if you wanted?" He didn't really have the money to do it, but he wanted to offer at least. - if Tolliver wanted something better, he'd bite the bullet and take the hit.
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Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 8:51 am
Tolliver tried to pretend that he both wasn't staring and wasn't standing with his nose buried in Hitch's shirt, but he had the distinct feeling that he'd failed in both regards. Maybe Hitch wasn't as conventionally handsome as some men, but he was very attractive to Tolliver, more so than most, and now he was standing there with just that towel around his waist.
He felt red blossom across his face as Hitch leaned in, Tolliver opening his mouth to stammer something out, but nothing came. He abruptly clamped his lips shut, tried to pretend that everything was just fine and dandy, that he was not standing there in only a shirt of Hitch's.
He as not going to answer that question either, the one about missing, because any answer Tolliver gave would be a stupidly embarrassing one like yes.
"Pasta's okay with me," he said truthfully, still half-hiding behind the drums to avoid the leg issue, but after a moment's hesitation he reached out, unable to stop himself, and brushed his fingertips very lightly against Hitch's arm, Tolliver back to the biting his lip again. But it was intended as a grateful gesture, since words were currently (always) failing him.
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 8:13 am
That passing, fleeting touch and the way Tolliver looked at him on top of that, it was enough to make Hitch shiver and think a lewd million thoughts that would get them no closer to food. But he was tempted, so sorely tempted that he hesitated, flashing Tolliver a look ripe with intenton before he grabbed his pajama pants. The towel was cast off into a half full laundry basket, leaving him completely exposed for one fleeting moment before he tugged the flannel print blue pants on. "Pasta it is," he purred with a wry grin, sweeping smoothly around the designated kitchen area to gather what he needed. Salt, water, pasta, butter, cheese. Pretty basic reslly, nothing special. "One of these days, I'll make you a proper meal," and he knew even that would be nothing special, because he was nothing special at all when it came to cooking. But the intent and promise were there, and he took no promise lightly.
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Posted: Tue Aug 04, 2015 8:48 am
He caught the look and almost melted into the floor, his heart hammering in his chest as Tolliver tried to pretend that he didn't know exactly what Hitch was thinking. Heat coursed through him, only magnified when Hitch switched his towel for the pajama pants on, and Tolliver wasn't quite certain whether he was disappointed or grateful when he meandered over to the kitchen area.
(Probably a mixture of both.)
"Pasta's a proper meal," Tolliver murmured, now caught somewhere between trying to find his regular pants and just curling up in a ball and waiting for the world to swallow him up whole. He still couldn't figure out where they were, so he settled for a blanket, dragging it around himself and padding over to where Hitch was to peer around him (and at least his leg was covered now).
"...but, erm..." he said hesitantly, trying not to dwell too long on one of these days, because it meant Hitch still wanted to see him after this, and Tolliver was still struggling with it - even with Hitch's extremely convincing method of reassurance.
"You making me dinner, I think...I think I'd like that."
He blushed, fidgeted, and then asked tentatively, "I'm not...it's not an inconvenience, is it..?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 8:20 am
Hitch snorted, idly thinking to tug the hair tie from his wrist and pulled his hair back into a messy ponytail. "Yeah, with a decent sauce an' sausages or somethin`, s**t like that - don't even got any bread," and he gave a playfully lamenting sigh and then flashed Tolliver a sly smile, eyes glinting wickedly under that persistent fringe of bangs. "Can't wait for dessert though." He let the innuendo flow so smoothly from his lips. Came natural, really. A prickle of guilt wormed its way into his stomach at the thought. He distracted himself by toying with the fabric of Tolliver's blanket between his fingers while he waited for the water to boil. His lips quirked dish at the corners, like that blanket was an offensive thing he wanted gone. "Yeah?" Funny how he could say s**t like that one minute and be flustered the next, his smile bold and maybe even excited with an undercurrent that reeked of uncertainty. "Nah, no, no trouble, I - haven't really cooked much for anyone besides Mom, so it's not - ********, look at me ramblin' on, wait - " He laughed, running his fingers through his bangs. "I mean it's nothin' special but, I don't know, I like it. Cooking, I mean. So don't worry about it babe."
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 12:30 pm
The sly smile, combined with the innuendo, made Tolliver's face flush, and there was really no way to mistake the meaning behind it. He glanced away from Hitch, heart hammering, and his fingers clutched the blanket a little harder around himself.
He gave a quick nod, because he couldn't bring himself to say me too, even though he wanted to. Instead, Tolliver just swayed a little closer as Hitch played with the blanket, resisting the urge to burrow against him and melt into his warmth, because doing that near a stove was dangerous.
"Good," said Tolliver softly, worrying at his lower lip. "I'm glad I'm not...a bother."
Why couldn't he form words? Why couldn't he just say anything he wanted to say? He felt unsteady and uncertain, a million possibilities inside of his head and yet none of them clear enough to decipher, Tolliver not strong enough to break any of them free. Hitch was capable of just letting things flow, yet Tolliver felt stunted and awkward, stammering over everything.
"I, um," he said, and his face was red, but he reached out with his free hand and touched Hitch's arm again, fingers curling against the skin. "I'm glad that you want to cook for me, so...so thank you for that."
His face was on fire. Just say it.
"Also I...I like when you...youcallmethingslikethat," Tolliver mumbled, so quickly it was a garble of words, and mortified he clamped his lips shut. So much for being a good communicator.
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 11:09 pm
Danger could be fun; Hitch wouldn't have minded a bit.
"You're no bother, " he reassured him, gentle but firm, flashing him a lazy smile. "Seriously. You - ********, it's not like I got anythin' else goin' on." He laughed like it was a joke, even if it wasn't. Work, sleep. Work, sleep. That'd been his life for months. "Even if I did, I'd - wanna do it anyway, so there, " and he tried to sound boisterous about it, but somehow the admission was embarrassing, and his cheeks grew red as he glanced back long enough to pour the dry pasta into the boiling hot water.
Tolliver's hand against his skin surprised him, but in the good way - he tensed briefly out of habit, but relaxed quickly, flashing him a look out of the corner of his eye. At the admission, at first, Hitch's smile was slow and small, flattered and stirred at once. It grew bolder, wider, and he gave the pasta a quick stir before turning to him, leaning closer and tilting his head to a side.
"Things like what?" He knew exactly what he was ******** doing, and it showed all over his face as he reached out to slide a hand along Tolliver's arm. "Gotta be specific. I wanna know what you like, y'know. - d'ya mean baby? Babe?" He ran his tongue quickly along his own lips, and then his breath was hot against Tolliver's cheek as he asked, his voice dropping an octave, "How about sexy? You like that one too?"
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 11:26 pm
He caught sight of the warmth on Hitch's cheeks as he looked away, and it somehow made Tolliver feel a little better, a little less like he was the only one that was floundering here - even though he was pretty sure he was doing a good job of said floundering.
"You, um," he said tentatively. "You have...I mean, we can - you can, erm...hang with me now, though, right?" And he hadn't meant it in that sense, but it came out sounding awkward anyway, Tolliver thoroughly mortified. "I mean," he hastily amended. "Just...if you ever want to just...come over, please know you're welcome any time."
And if he could possibly get away with it, Fritz would never know about Hitch.
Tolliver was busy thinking about all the ways he could think to accomplish this task and almost didn't see Hitch's s**t - eating grin - but he did hear it in his voice, and it dragged his attention back, as did the warm touch to his arm. He felt the color rising in his cheeks, magnified ten fold, and a soft, very undignified squeak escaped as Hitch leaned close, Tolliver automatically grasping his arm.
"I - y-yes," he managed to get out, and hesitantly he turned his head to nuzzle his nose shyly against Hitch's neck, all the while still clutching his blanket with white-knuckled fingers. "Um. The - the last one, though that's - that's not..."
That's not true, his mind finished for him.
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Posted: Wed Aug 05, 2015 11:46 pm
Just that once, he was blind to Tolliver's embarrassment. Hitch threw a glance his way, thinking to himself that Tolliver couldn't mean it - or wouldn't for long - no one really wanted him around that much. But he wished he did, and he wished terribly and almost frighteningly hard that it would.
"Can I, now? That so?"
Again, he wanted it to sound like a joke. Again, his tone and the look in his eyes gave away a lot more than he would have wanted to on his own.
Luckily, he wouldn't be on the hot seat for long. Tolliver was back in the spotlight where he belonged, flushed that delightful shade of red and making some of this intoxicating noises from before. He hummed in an all together lewd way when Tolliver nuzzled against his neck, and he slid his hand from his arm to the small of his back, then lower, toying with the blanket, again like it was an obstacle and a hindrance to what he really wanted.
"Yeah you are, " he whispered hoarsely, kissing the top of Tolliver's head. "You are ********' sexy as hell Tolli, or I think so - so deal with it." He shut his eyes as he said it, biting back the wave of shame; it felt so good and terrible at once to say it. "Like that way you bite your lip when you look at me, <********> babe..."
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:04 am
He had inched closer to Hitch subconsciously, brows drawing together in slight concern that his invitation had been taken the wrong way. The reaction was not quite what he'd expected, and a low swooping sensation fluttered in Tolliver's stomach that maybe he was being too clingy, that maybe he was investing himself too much in this...whatever it was.
But those thoughts had disappeared within the next few minutes, or at least, been pushed to the back burner, because Hitch's hand was on his back and his lips were in his hair, and his voice, low and rough, was sending shivers up and down Tolliver.
He did not think he was sexy. Not in the slightest. The scar on his leg, the smaller ones on his ribs and torso, the way his hair was too long in the front, the freckles that dotted his cheeks - none of them were attractive to Tolliver, and he felt shameful that he was not better suited for someone like Hitch.
He also hadn't realized that he was biting his lip until he said it, either, and Tolliver flushed even redder. He gave up, burying his face against Hitch's neck and curling himself against him, heedless of the fact that Hitch was in the middle of cooking for him.
"I think you're...more than me," he mumbled.
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:31 am
Hitch flung an arm around Tolliver's waist as he drew close, and the action was so completely natural, comfortable - like he'd belonged there the whole time, as ******** stupid as it sounded.
But what he said, no - "You're so ********' wrong, " he said, dinner all but forgotten in that moment as he slung his other arm around Tolliver to hug him closer still. "I'm ********' - " No, no pity parties. He wasn't out to try and make Tolliver feel better about himself, so don't even ******** open that door. "No. Just, no. You're ********' gorgeous, okay? Seriously, I - Redheads are ********' sexy, freckles never ********' looked so good, your a** is amazing, an' - all of you, all of what I see, I want more of it. Not just like your face or anythin', I like - I like you too, like your smiles an' the way you look at me an' just - so just - "
He tightened his hold on him, like somehow that would make it sink in. "Believe me, alright? You're sexy as ******** to me, an' that's just how it is." And he'd probably never know how hard it was to say any of that, or how much it was costing him. It was better he didn't.
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 12:42 am
He felt the tension in his shoulders as sharp as a knife; Hitch's arms around him felt wonderfully, frighteningly secure and he didn't want to step out of them, didn't want to move away from the warmth that was steadily warming his own body from the closeness. Every word Hitch was saying was dropping into Tolliver's chest like hot liquid, burning through him like a physical fire, and he couldn't seem to draw enough breath to breathe properly, his heart hammering violently against his ribcage.
He wanted to run and hide. He wanted to stay like this, engulfed in the sensations, drowning in them, because they couldn't possibly be true, and yet Hitch was here, and he was alive and breathing and telling him all of these things, and no one had ever said anything like that to Tolliver at all.
Words had died in his throat. He felt dizzy, as dizzy as he had before, Tolliver swaying a little as he leaned back to look at Hitch's face, forcing himself to meet his eyes, as difficult as it was. He felt like he was trying to breathe underwater with each hitch of breath, each struggle to maintain himself with some semblance of reasonable coherency.
He still wasn't sure if he believed him, but oh, did he ever want to. And in spite of that -
"You - " Tolliver swallowed hard, and his hand was now resting on Hitch's chest, fingers curling against him. "You can see more. You can have more."
His voice was hoarse. He was trying desperately not to do what his heart was telling him to do, but he did it anyway, Tolliver swaying forward and pressing his lips to Hitch's, warm and soft and simple but surprisingly unhesitating. He lingered there for a moment, then drew back, eyes closed briefly before he managed to get them open again.
"You're gonna...burn the pasta," he said softly, and lifted a hand to Hitch's face, gently smoothing his fingers down his cheek; it was clear that he'd meant the gesture as one of gratitude, even if he couldn't formulate proper words. And because he was unable to control himself (stupidly), he leaned to take another kiss, brief but with a flicker of heat behind it before shifting back again.
"After we can...we can have dessert," he whispered, averting his eyes in embarrassment at his audacity, but something about what Hitch had said was coursing though him.
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Posted: Thu Aug 06, 2015 1:04 am
Hitch felt, not for the first time, how dangerous this all was when he realized all he'd said - and realized how Tolliver's gaze on him, his words, and more than anything his touch made him feel. For a split-second, he was afraid, ashamed, and still all the more captivated by Tolliver and what he did to him. Because this was more than a lust thing, wasn't it? - it'd never just been a lust thing, had it? Not like it being all about sex or not made it better, just - <******** kiss, the intent behind it, ******** ******** <********>. Hitch returned the kiss with gusto, even a little of that latent desperation, but didn't have the chance to do more than that; he furrowed his brows and made a noise akin to a child who'd been robbed of their candy when Tolliver pulled away. "The ******** cares about some pasta?" he grumbled, but couldn't help a grin in spite of the mess of ******** ******** up emotions swirling around inside of him. However fleeting the second kiss was, the heat was palpable; he savored it before he turned his attention back to the pasta, stirring it quickly to try and make sure it didn't stick or burn.
His grin grew wicked again. "Dessert always was my favorite. ... 'Specially when I get to taste somethin' so sweet." His gaze wandered down to the blanket and he licked his lips, snickering before he turned back to dinner again. "Almost ready babe. - if it sucks I'm totally blamin' your a**, " he teased.
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