[J] Symphonies of the Savannah || Tahja's SOA Directory

[Tahja Estes]

2.] Confrontations; Complete

It was sometime in the evening, in the general area where the Hamaji pack had decided to settle for the night. Kengee, the former rogue, made his way farther from the pack, his nose twitching busily as he searched for a scent. He was looking for someone in particular, although in all honesty, he wasn't quite certain she wished to be found. Ujuzi was a beautiful but quiet femme, and the first to introduce him to the pack. But she was as much a mystery now as the day they met.

Kengee wasn't the type to follow the first tail that wagged his way (although technically, this one hadn't exactly made any such offers), but there was something about the violet-eyed girl. Perhaps it was just the fact that she had been so aloof around him, it left him wanting more. The less you get, the more you want and all that. In any case, he'd venture an effort to discover her secrets.. If she would let him, that is.

It was true that she did not wish to be found. She'd set out that morning the same as always, it was the best time for her to have some privacy while not offending the others by seeming avoidant, but her mood had taken a horrendous spill as she ran into an old... "aquaintance"... and his child. She bore no ill feelings towards the pup, but the father...

Ujuzi could be found dangerously snappish, standing in the shade of a young tree. She was almost fully unaware of how much time had passed, if not for the fading light. She also opted to ignore Kengee's approaching scent for the time being.

Though Ujuzi had decided to ignore his scent, he most certainly did not ignore hers. It wasn't too long after picking up her smell that he found himself at the tree, completely unaware of the mood he was about to encounter as he padded towards the object of his search.

Kengee stepped closer to her, coming up from behind and thus not seeing whatever telling look might have been on her face. His tail flicked cheerfully as he bobbed his head to offer a polite greeting. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything.."

Her fur bristled. Another male's company was certianly the last thing that she wanted, but Kengee's especially seemed to set off the anger floating in her system. Her voice came in a low, warning tone. "Leave me alone, Kengee." She growled, and sadly, it would be her only warning. As if things weren't confusing enough with her sudden shifting mood, now her one and only past regret had come traipsing back through her life to reopen past wounds to her pride and..... "Now."

Kengee frowned, his ears flattening at the threat in her tone. He didn't want to wear out his welcome, or push her when she was in such a hostile mood, but something nagged at the back of his mind, keeping him there for a bit longer. Was she mad at him, or something else..?

"Alright, I'll go, if that's what you want.." He murmured quietly, more confused than upset. Still, he stepped a bit closer, his tone persisitant. "I know I haven't known you well, so maybe I'm overstepping my boundaries. But if you want to talk about it.. Whatever 'it' is.."

He managed a small smile. "I'm here for you, Ujuzi."

~Damn it!~ She grit her teeth together as he continued to speak, his words cutting deep, but not at her, but at her walls. Every soft word when spoken in that tone brought her that much closer to loosing her composure and falling into tears, and she hardly knew him well enough to let him see her depressed, she sure as hellfire didn't want him to see her cry.

"I don't need to talk about it. Least of all with YOU." She hissed, turning to send him a hot glare before whipping her head around again and turning, walking away with as much composure as she could manage. It was risky for her to look at him, she'd had to turn her eyes away quickly-- not out of anger, but out of worry he'd read the hurt there. She could only manage to maintain the anger for a moment before the pain became too much. Why did he have to be so damn... considerate? Lies, they were ALL lies!

The caramel-colored male frowned with a hurt of his own. Least of all him? What was that supposed to mean? Perhaps if he'd picked up on the hurt in her eyes, he would have let her be. He had considered turning away earlier, but not now. He stood his ground, moving forward to follow her; he wanted to get to the bottom of this.

"Look.." He said, his voice firm but calm. "I don't know if I said something insulting these past few days that I'm not aware of, but if you have a problem with me, I think we should talk about it. I don't want to be your enemy." He sighed quietly. Maybe if he knew what was wrong, he could do something to help. He couldn't just leave her angry with him.

"I said leave me alone!" She snarled, finally whipping around to glare again with furious eyes. Dammit, but her voice had just cracked. Would he catch that? "Why the hell can't any of you listen when someone is trying to tell you something?!" She snapped again, blindly this time, and without the cold control of before. She simply lashed out with all of her anger and frustration, and that damnable heartache. How could she have been so stupid, to let a male get that close in her heart? She just wanted to forget again, but Kengee wasn't letting her. Even if he did leave her alone for NOW though, it was doubtful if his presence would stop reminding her, it never would, for he wasn't just another flirtatious mutt that she could ignore and brush off. He acted like he cared. Did he? ~I don't care!~

No, she didn't want to. Haiji had been the only one she allowed herself to get close to since then, and Dhati had only managed to reinforce her resentment for the opposite sex, so it hadn't been a problem till now.

"You're all the same! Close-minded, pig headed, stubborn, superficial, vapid, shallow, egotistical, stupid... stupid...!!"

Why did her vocabulary fail her NOW of all times? She was pretty sure she'd used a few synonnyms in there. Hell, forget her vocabulary, where had her composure gone? She'd just lashed out at him, viciously, and for what? Something that he had nothing to do with...? It wasn't even like her to get this irrational, no matter how angry she became. Sure, she became damned bitchy when she was pushed too far, but she'd never thrown a tantrum like that before. Where was her head these last three days?

She couldn't take it anymore, what was the point in trying to run now? It would only make her seem a bigger fool and heartless at that. Not that she would have particularly cared if Kengee wasn't a pack mate... Her ears and tail quivered, hindquarters connecting hard with the ground and her front half following suit with a slower slump. She didn't even bother trying to finish her rant, feeling small and pathetic before his eyes. Her own amythyst iris were hidden behind her eyelids in an attempt to hold back the tears her outburst had so suddenly prompted, but it wasn't working.

~Why did you pick her over me?~

Kengee was taken aback by her outburst, his white-tipped tail lowering somberly. What was it that had upset her so? After her next slur of insults, he cleverly deduced it must have had something to do with men, however he couldn't remember doing anything particularly pig-headed or stupid lately, and if he'd upset her she was doing a great job of hiding it up until now. He sighed again, stepping closer to her once she seemed to be finished. "You forgot obstinate, petty, asinine and arrogant."

He dropped down to his haunches next to her and offered a sympathetic frown. Someone must have really hurt her for her to show it like this, to him no less. He wanted to give her comfort, but he wasn't certain how. Maybe it would be best just to leave her. "I'm trying to listen.." He responded, his voice soothing, but with a hint of frustration; more at the situation than at her. "But I have this stupid habit of trying give people what I think they need. I thought it would help you to talk. I know I haven't known you long, but.." He sighed. "I don't like seeing you this way."

Kengee rose to his feet again, turning to leave. "Maybe what you need is just for me to go, after all."

She actually managed not to wince as he added four insults to her already impressive list. She felt a strong pang of guilt but was too stubborn to show it so easily, and refused to look at him yet.

As he settled down beside her the feeling just grew. Was he still going to try to comfort her, even after that horrible display she'd given him in thanks? She wanted to apologize... but shame, maybe embarassment, or maybe even guilt itself was choking off her words and constricting her vocal chords from working. She couldn't do anything but listen and smell as his scent rose and his pawsteps told her he was about to leave her there. Even now at her lowest, she was too proud to beg him to stay, or maybe it was more that she just felt like she didn't deserve it.

She silently drew her tail in and curled it around her haunches, ears slowly flattening to her skull with obvious emotional distress. She didn't know if she could speak, let alone what to say, but she wanted to say so much. She hadn't given herself a chance to cry, she hadn't given herself room to think about the pain before, three days ago she would have come away from that situation a little emotionally out of sorts, but not this bad. She certainly wouldn't have lashed out so childishly. She was making a terrible example of herself here, and feared that things were going to be akward among the pack now if tension grew between she and Kengee.

Well, that was that. If she couldn't tell him what she wanted, he couldn't give it to her; he wanted to help, but he was out of ideas. Kengee reluctantly began to pad away from her, deciding to return to the pack and wait for her there. If Ujuzi needed her space, then he couldn't force her to open up. That would only make her resent him more.

He had only made a journey of a few feet when the winds suddenly changed direction, and a faint scent wafted across his nose. He hadn't noticed it before, likely because hers was so strong, and he had spent so much time arguing that he hadn't paid attention. But now the smell was clear, and he finally realized; Ujuzi hadn't been the only dog in the area. There was a pup here also..

And a male.

So it hadn't been him that had upset her so. He might have been relieved if he hadn't been so preoccupied with concern. His ears went down again, and he cocked his head back, glancing over his shoulder at the female resting under the shade. "Whoever he was, I'm sorry he hurt you.."

She remained silent for a while, anger gone, and starting to feel emotionally spent. She'd opened her eyes again, finding that the tears had stopped after she allowed herself to calm down. The guilt and shame was still there though.

"Not as sorry as I am for letting it happen..."

After all, she was the one that let herself get into that mess.

"Kengee, I.... I'm sorry that I yelled at you."

He turned back around so that she could see his face and offered her a gentle smile, his tail twitching slightly in the air behind him. "It's alright, I understand."

It made him happy that she had opened up to him, at least a tiny bit, although he felt selfish for thinking it. Unsure of what to do, he decided to let her make the decision. "Would you care to walk with me back to the camp?"

He certainly earned points from her for letting it go so easily, she wasn't so sure if she would have been so forgiving if it were her, but she never claimedto be without her faults.

At the male's question Ujuzi continued allowing her true feelings to show, in no mindset to try hiding it just then. Her body language made it clear, and her tone suggested that she might like if he stayed. Now that he'd seen this much, she might as well get used to it. At least that was one other packmate she could talk to, that was going to be an important later on. ((I don't know when Uju will be given the official title, maybe when the pack holds a "meeting" or something,))

"I'm not ready to go back, not just yet... I don't want the others to see me like this."

Because they hadn't before. No one had. She was still kicking herself for it, maybe being too hard on herself for that matter. Still, they only knew the collected Ujuzi, who, thus far, had only shown signs of annoyance when Dhati was around. Haveo hadn't even been with them for that, that was back when it was still just the two females... or just after it became just the two females.

It took him a moment, but once he was finally sure he'd unmistakably read her meaning, he stepped closer to her and layed down next to her, his body close to hers but not intimately so. "Then I can wait until you're ready," he responded, smiling again. If she was offended by his boldness, well, he'd just take that chance. He'd already taken quite a few today, what was one more?

Kengee tossed an idly glance up at the darkening sky, the stars shining with all their glory. He swiped at the ground with his tail, a soft rumble emanating from his throat. "Ujuzi.." He started, his eyes still on the stars. "Don't blame yourself."

With that, he resigned to silence, deciding to give her time to cool down and grow comfortable again rather than add to the tension by pushing conversation onto her.

She was sure he hadn't meant it that way, but, "Then I can wait until you're ready," ... She took them another way for a moment, before her tired brain finally realized he was responding to her answer. Right.

"Ujuzi... Don't blame yourself."

A few moments of silence passed between them, at least a full minute, and finally, resting her head onto her paws Ujuzi answered. It was as much of an agreement to try as a non-commital reply. It might take some time until she could accept that her heart was not something she had control of... but maybe with time...

"Hmm....."  

[Tahja Estes]

3.] Setting out on our Own: Part 1; Complete

She had spoken with Haiji previously, asking for a temporary leave from the pack. Surely the others would have noticed already, but her scent had changed in the last two days.

It was common fact to most adults that when a wild dog, lion, hyena, whatever the species-- female went into heat it more or less became broadcasted by scent. This prevented foolish others from wandering too close for fear of aggressive and territorial males, aggressive, and possibly uninterested females, and, well, depending on how long the heat lasted (as it was known to go well into the first few weeks of definite pregnancy), pregnant and defensive mothers. That said it only made sense that Ujuzi withdraw herself temporarily from the pack. Not to disband, but simply "Until it passes, or something along those lines." She'd muttered in embarassment to the younger female. She didn't want to be around Dafina or Haveo while she was like this, she didn't want to find out how they might react to being in the same company as she while she was in this "condition". Ugh. How embarassing, even just thinking about it.

She did let the alpha know that she intended to invite one other along, and at that point, did a passable job of keeping her composure as she named Kengee as the one. Haiji might or might not already know that the female thought.... fairly highly of the male, even before her little outburst three days passed. ((So 6 days since she first started feeling affected, and 3 days since she yelled at Kengee)) She wouldn't have invited him into the pack if she didn't, after all. Now he had her trust, however, her full trust.

"Kengee..." She called in her usual voice, seeking out her friend amongst the wafting scents in the area.'

Kengee lounged in a small clearing, the carcass of a small hare lying at his paws, stripped clean of meat. He had finished it off some time ago, but the small catch was enough to refill his energy for the day. His lithe form lay sprawled on the ground as he finished licking the blood off of his claws. In the few days he had been with the pack, his size seemed to greatly improve. Despite being rather tall for his age, Kengee's thin, gaunt appearance never really helped his intimidation factor. But thanks in part to his newfound packmates, and part to his own boost of self-confidence, he was starting to fill out rather nicely.

The caramel-pelted male had found himself off a ways from the pack; not too far for anyone to worry, but enough to keep out of anyone's way. The 'broadcasting' of Ujuzi's particular scent hadn't escaped him, and as difficult as it was, he was trying to ignore it for now. As far as he knew, she only thought of him as a friend, and succumbing to certain... Desires.. Might not reflect well on him, both to her and the pack. He would just have to resist it until it passed.

The male's ears flicked at the familiar sound of Ujuzi's voice faintly calling his name, which dragged him promptly out of whatever thoughts he might have been having. He lifted his head and swiped at the ground with his bushy tail, curious as to what the femme might want of him.

"I wondered if I might have a word with you, I've.... a favor to ask.."

She certainly hadn't missed the changes to his apperance, how could she in her state? Of course she'd looked before as well, Ujuzi was most certainly still a woman after all, just a woman with discretion and self control. Her tail stood in a neutral position for the moment.

Kengee tilted his head to the side. A favor? From the sound of her voice he guessed it was an important one, but beyond that, Kengee had no idea what she was about to ask. Still, he was more than willing to offer his assistance in whatever she might need. He sat up and gave her a cordial smile but resisted the urge to move closer to her, what with her 'condition', but still offered his full attention. "Oh?.. How can I help?"

Ujuzi paused with a half a yard's distance between them, expression calm. She did not know for certain just how Kengee felt about her. She had her suspicions that he was interested, but it was difficult to tell if that was a genuine intrest or simply his way of socializing. She had seen many different personalities in her youth and obviously learned not to rely on apperances and formalties, not to take actions and words at face values, nor even tones or actions. An analysis of the combination of these things was truely the only way to go and be sucessful in deciphering one's intentions.

She wondered what he would think of her request.

"I've spoken with Haiji... I think it's best if I travel apart from the pack for now, so I've asked to stay behind/travel ahead for now." ((Not sure which it'll be)) "I would like for you to come with me,"

She looked to him meaningfully at those words.

"Leave the pack?" He murmured, her meaning not quite registering yet. Why would she need to leave? What had happened that she felt the need to.. Well, there was that. Obviously he hadn't been the only one to notice her 'changes'.. Now that he thought on it, it made sense for her to want to have some time to herself.

But.. She wanted him with her?

He blinked. ..Was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? Or was that his adolescent hormones kicking in? He blinked a few more times, trying to make sure he understood exactly what she was saying. "You mean.. You want me with you?" Kengee paused, feeling his heartbeat racing a bit faster. Could he be reading her wrong? He kept his gaze locked with hers, a surprised expression on his face. "Are you.. I mean, are you sure?"

Ujuzi simply nodded after careful evaluation of his response. She was only looking for signs of discomfort, right? Right?

"I am. It's not wise for me to stay with the others until this has passed, and, I don't think fighting it will help. Incidentally, I don't trust Dafina and I don't want to make Haveo or the others uncomfortable."

She wasn't sure how exactly this worked, but something told her that she should avoid contact with anyone unecessary for now.

"I do trust you... Of course, if this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. I didn't mean to be too forward."

Kengee swallowed hard. He wasn't exactly uncomfortable, persay; more bewildered than anything. Of course, his body was saying 'YES!', but his mind wasn't quite so convinced. He couldn't help but give her a discreet once-over as he thought this situation over. She was just on the brink of adulthood, fully grown but still youthful, graceful in her posture and with such beautiful eyes.. Kengee had noticed all of this before, but now, with such an option presenting itself, he almost felt intimidated by her. He cleared his throat and started to respond, his usual eloquence giving way to a stutter. "Just to clarify.. That is, I want to make sure that I'm understanding your complete meaning. I mean, I'm flattered, obviously. And, it's not like I hadn't thought of you in that way, um, what I mean to say is, I just hadn't thought that you'd thought that I thought of you that way. Or, that is.."

He shook his head in response to the fur on his neck starting to bristle. "Are you sure you want me?.."

If she saw the once over she either ignored it or did a good job hiding it. The male's obviously flustered state did cause her a bit of mirth, however, and she visibly, almost teasingly arched a brow as his rambling went on for a bit... By the time he did finish, however, she was fighting to hide a flustered stance of her own, her legs locking stiff.

"I'm certain," She murmered, too legible to be a mutter. "you've seen me at my worst, and my weakest, and you stayed with me anyway. Who else would I choose?"

Oh, GREAT Ujuzi-- get all mushy why don't you?

Kengee swallowed again, his face growing warm. He would be a fool to reject such an offer. The pair seemed to get along well, and there was no doubt he was attracted. And obviously she was to him as well, or else she wouldn't have asked.. right?

Or perhaps she had chosen him for lack of a better choice. As she herself had said, 'who else would she choose?'.. That didn't exactly instill the male with pride. But if it's what she wanted, who was he to argue? After all, they were both consenting adults ((assuming he's adult by then. 8D;; )), and he couldn't fight his hormones forever. Why not just get all of the tension out of the way now?.. Yes, that was an acceptable rationalization.

"Alright then.." He murmured quietly. He felt almost a pang of guilt for accepting her proposition. He wasn't really taking advantage; after all, she was opening the door for him freely. But he couldn't help but wonder what exactly would happen afterwards. Was this agreement just for now, or was it something more permanent?..

He decided again to wait for her to make the choice. Kengee rose to his feet and stepped a little closer, unable to hide a small, eager grin. "When do we leave?"

That had, sadly, been done on purpose. Her wording was tricky, because Ujuzi could only stand to sacrifice so much of her pride in one sitting, and she already had given a great deal of it by asking him for such a thing. She could have just as easily chanced it on her own, after all, she was stubborn enough not to care how much fighting it did or didn't help, yet she chose to come to him for his aide anyway. Yet she still tried to reason that it was purely for the fact he was closest to her of the males in the pack, and not that it was because she might have cared for him more than that.

She was relieved when he finally accepted, though she hadn't doubted he really would. It felt good anyway, it was important to her not to be rejected again after the first jarring incident.

"We can leave now... I'd rather not backtrack until it's necessary."

His proximity spurred on a reaction in her, she couldn't help but flare her nostrils a bit to take in more of his scent, and a paw started to lift to pull closer, but instead she turned and headed in the direction that would seperate them officially from the others until they were set to meet up again. Al the same, the female couldn't help a look back to Kengee, an "instinctive" longing in... just, something about her. She couldn't deny, a part of her was looking forward to this time alone with Kengee, was it because she was solitary in mind by nature?

The male readily followed in suit, casually trotting after Ujuzi with a contented grin. He gave her another look as he trailed behind her, mind at work with thoughts he likely would have scorned himself for before today. Kengee unclenched his jaw, panting quietly as he spurred forward to her side. He offered an occasional subtle glance of his own as they walked, all the while trying to not seem to eager although he was already growing hot with anticipation. He was a male after all. It helped that he had grown particularly close to her out of all in the pack. She was the first he had met in a long time that hadn't really judged him, and he appreciated her company. She was a good friend.

But now things would change.. At least, he had assumed they would. "Does Haiji know that I'm going with you?.."

Ujuzi gave it three seconds before she answered, walking alongside of him, body "humming" with delight as the pack's scent drifted further away. Yes, she definitely wanted to make sure she had him all to herself. Ujuzi was slightly territorial in that way.

"She does, otherwise," Ujuzi kept a straight face for the most part, though the corners of her maw did hint at amusement. "she'd be on your tail before you knew what hit you."

The two females were extremely close after all, having become the only remaining re-founding members of the pack after Dhati's abandonment.

Kengee let out a slight chuckle at that. He had no doubt she could do it, too. In the short time he'd known Haiji, he'd grown much respect for her, and he'd immediately noticed the bond between the pair. He wouldn't dare do anything to hurt either of them, if not for his admiration of them both, for fear of retribution from the other, which he only assumed would be swift, painful, and fatal. "Should I be worried when we get back, then?"

His thoughts did not stay on their alpha long, however. With every breath, another whiff of her powerful scent filled his nostrils. He exhaled sharply through his mouth, tongue lolling out in a rather undignified manner. The next few days would be quite interesting, indeed.

Good point. Who knew how long these things lasted? He wasn't much of an expert himself; acting more on basic instinct rather than prior experience. He grew more anxious by the minute, doing all he could to maintain his composure and not give in completely to his urges. Obviously she wanted to wait until they were further from the pack, a point made clear with her next remark.

Kengee began to murmur a reply, but before he knew it, Ujuzi was a few feet away and gaining distance. So it was a race she wanted, eh? He'd have to show her what he could do. "Count on it!"

The corner of his mouth quirked into a playful smirk as he gave chase, his muscles burning as he moved swiftly and vigorously, soon closing the gap between them. He lowered his ears against his skull as he ran, fur pressed against his body from the wind. His heart beated faster and faster as he continued to gain on her. Soon he'd moved up beside her, but wasn't able to pass her. She matched him in speed, perhaps even surpassing him, but he was pushing himself harder and harder, all of his excess tension burning away.  

[Tahja Estes]

4.] Setting out on our Own: Part 2; Complete

By the time they finished running they STILL had energy to burn. Wild dogs, after all, were well known to outlast their prey in a hunt, which was what made a pack of them such an effecient team when they could corner a victim. She seemed to decide they had traveled enough, in any event, as some time later they found themselves just on the outskirts of what looked like a forested area.

Now, just because she still had strength left in her didn't mean that their excersize hadn't taken a toll on her. Oh, but her blood was pumping fast now. The adrenaline from their long race combined with the rush of hormones left Ujuzi feeling a little overwhelmed. She trotted closer to the treeline, feeling delightedly dizzy from all of the endorphins and pheramone ((ummmm, @_@ I think)) buzzing in her bloodstream. Her gaze shifted back over towards Kengee as she panted to catch her breath, and circled back around to approach him again.

She circled him, an odd mix of aggression and invitation in her movements, and said to him: "So, now it's just the two of us."

Kengee took a few deep breaths as he slowed, his pulse still racing. The run had helped a bit, but now that it was over, his hormones began to take over again. His fur glistened with sweat as he stood near the trees, all of his muscles tingling. He watched Ujuzi circle him with hunger in his eyes as he glanced over her graceful form once more. Part of him had been wanting this for a long time, although he hadn't really admitted it to himself.

"Seems that way." He responded, still a little short of breath. He started closer to her, readily accepting the invitation.

Ujuzi's teeth found his ear, harmlessly biting down for a moment.

"Kengee... there's something else that I need to tell you..." She began, nervous, but not enough to prevent her from what she was about to say. She wasn't sure why she suddenly felt compelled to say this, pure urges driving her to do so. "There's another reason I picked you over the others." She rumbled with a growl, pushing her head against his and brushing it slowly down under his chin and over his neck. Once she'd started touching him then she wasn't able to stop. She needed to be closer to him, and so she decided to do something about that. Her side pressed against his as she sidled up even closer, giving a soft whine, breathing audible.

Kengee felt his body surge with heat every time she touched him. He was finding it unbearable to fully concentrate with her incredible closeness, managing only a quick response in between a mix of growls and low whines. "..Oh?"

He lifted a paw, placing it gently on her shoulder blade to draw her even nearer to him. He moved his head out from on top of hers, giving her an instinctive nuzzle before staring intensely into her eyes. If she had something to say, she'd better say it quickly.. He wasn't going to last much longer. "What.. Would that be?"

Some time later and they both probably would have agreed that the trip was well worth it. There was no one around to interrupt the moment that had settled over and between the two of them, and they were left in peace to recover from their little exhertion. ((Spelling typo troll |D)) She didn't know if she ever wanted to bother moving again actually. She was perfectly content where she was curled up, next to Kengee.

They'd found shelter just past the treeline, hiding from the immediate vision of other foolhardy, passing predators, such as hyena or big-cats. Her heartbeat was still settling down in her ears, a canine-purr like soft gravel in her throat, panning out to a low keen, or a strained whine. She moved a little closer and wedged her head underneath his chin, ears resting flat on her skull contently.

And she'd actually been thinking about fighting this? Wow.

What was more, the truth was out now, though how well he'd registered her words just before they, well... consumated them, or not, she didn't know. By the time she finally managed to say what was on her heart and mind they were well on their way past the point of no return. Was it a subconcious effort to make sure he wouldn't push her away? Maybe? She hadn't cared at the time and still didn't much care now.

"Mmm...." She stated.

Kengee shifted subtly to compliment Ujuzi's new position, his head resting gently on hers as he layed a paw across the side of her belly. He matched her whine with one of his own in exhausted content, his eyes watching the darkening sky while his mind focused on other things. This entire day had come by so unexpectedly, now that his hormones were finally satisfied, at last he had time to take it all in. Did this mean she was his mate now..? Or was he just.. 'Doing her a favor'?.. He frowned.

The words she had spoken to him had become lost in the midst of his passion, and now he wondered if she had even said them at all, or if it was just his mind trying to rationalize things once more. Perhaps he was being silly, but he couldn't help but feel attached. This wasn't just a casual thing to him.. ((GAWSH, he's such a GIRL. ::snerk:: >O))

"Ujuzi.." He murmured in her ear, barely audible.

Ujuzi sighed outwardly again, making herself more comfortable. This moment could go on for hours and she'd be perfectly content.

His voice brought a small sense of alertness back to her, however, her tail thumping softly to life. "Yes, Kengee?"

Kengee rumbled softly before lifting his head and straining his neck to look at her. After mentally arguing with himself for a few minutes, he'd realized that he wasn't sure he wanted what had happened today to be just a 'favor'. And it upset him even more to think about what would happen if he wasn't the one she asked next time she had a favor to ask.. But he didn't want to scare her away, or make himself look foolish for getting over-emotional. Perhaps he should just take things at face value, and stop wanting more than what he was given. Still, the experience had changed him. He did want more.. He couldn't help it.

He thought for a moment whether he really wanted the answer before finally asking his question. If the words he was about to speak would ruin his chances of being with her again, then so be it. "When we return to the Hamaji.." He paused, clearing his throat. "Will I still call you 'friend'?"

He had no idea. If Ujuzi could only read minds, but his question would do just fine.

She was silent at first, several seconds spanning for what felt like minutes. She didn't want to sound desperate, but she didn't want to sound aloof either.

"I would rather if you don't..." She began, realizing, finally, how foolish she'd been to think that asking him to be there for her through something like this, her first, would help level out her feelings.

Instead she seemed to just fall all the harder, becoming attached like she hadn't ever been before. He'd taken her trust when accepting this request, and in turn she found herself wanting to give more with it, and for him to respect that and accept her. She wouldn't just give that to anyone, after all, and it should certainly mean a lot that he was the one she chose, sought out.

"Such a title hardly seems fitting. Doesn't this make us something a bit more official?" She questioned in answer, peeking over at him and then watching, eyes searching.

Kengee smiled and lay his head back down against her neck, letting out a soft hum from his throat. "Mmm."

That was exactly what he wanted to hear. He almost couldn't believe this had happened, and so quickly. At this time yesterday, they were only packmates. Now he felt closer to her than he had ever been to anyone. Kengee rubbed his cheek against her fur, whining softly. He was in complete bliss. "So.. What do I call you, then?" He responded playfully.

"Nothing diminutive, or you'll regret that." She growled tiredly, not sounding very threatening at all. Oh screw it. She was too content to be intimidating. The growl faded off into a tall yawn, voice straining into a whine with it. Her ears twitched as her maw closed again, and she gave her tail a tired wag, thumping softly against his leg or thigh. "I'm sure you'll think of something." She finally admitted.

Kengee's grin widened a bit as he let out a good-natured chuckle. His leg twitched as her tail brushed against it, and he curled his forepaw further around her body as if to 'hug' her. "Don't worry, I'm not looking to get into a fight." He replied jokingly, his eyelids slowly lowering. "At least not tonight."

Shortly after, he mimicked her yawn, ears swiveling back as he did.

Ujuzi shifted some then, lying more on her stomach and stretching one of her fore legs out before her while the other kept tucked close to her chest. She turned her head so that it rested on the ground, while Kengee's head was still allowed to rest on her neck.

"Wise policy," She breezed, shutting her eyes. It was just a few moments after that sleep made it's presence known. Her breathing began to deepen slowly, her body pulling in closer until their sides touched, and with a faint nuzzle to the richly pelted male, she was gone to the realm of dreams.
 

[Tahja Estes]

5.] Nostalgia and Contemplation; Complete

Ujuzi wondered where the pack was at about this time as she sat mulling over things. Her talk with Haiji had resulted in an unexpected change of title. She was now advisor to the alpha female, and not surprisingly found herself wondering over a few things. Haiji had also said she thought Ujuzi would make a good mother... was that true(?), because it was entirely likely she'd return pregnant. Were they ready for that responsibility? Was it safe, with characters like Dafina hanging around? If he continued hanging around the pack she worried that any children they had might be poorly influenced, and she'd have to hurt that red egotist if that was the case.

And that was no bluff.

She was just finishing up with grooming her paw clean after a small hunting trip, and settled herself down in the temporary home she and Kengee made for themselves within those trees.

It wasn't long before the caramel-colored male padded along from behind her, his tail wagging nonchalantly behind him. He moved closer to the female and bumped his nose softly against her neck before sitting down beside her. Unlike Ujuzi, Kengee's mind wasn't dominated by thoughts of the pack. Perhaps he hadn't spent enough time with them yet, or perhaps he was simply too enamored with his new relationship to dwell too long on anything else. Although he had wondered a bit about the prospect of pups since the pair first, ahem, consummated their relationship, he'd figured it was simply a natural event in life and an experience he was certain he'd know how to handle once the time came. The male had no doubt that his new mate would make a good mother, and his new family would no doubt also make excellent caretakers and teachers for the young, impressionable minds.

The only thing that did worry him, a concern that Ujuzi no doubt shared, was the safety of such offspring. He'd have to make sure he was ready when the time came to protect them, from what ever danger presented itself. It had been a long time since he'd had to be strong for someone, and he assured himself that this time, the outcome would be far different.

His scent reached her nostrils not long after she'd settled, fresh and strong. She swiveled her head and neck to have a look over her shoulder, tail picking up a soft wag of it's own at his arrival.

"I'm glad I asked you to come, Kengee." She said, looking scincere but modest with a soft smile.

His ears twitched at the sound of her voice, and he leaned down to murmur a soft response into her own black ear before moving his muzzle closer and licking her cheek. "So am I."

Kengee smiled as he lowered himself beside her, enjoying the warmth from where his body touched hers. He felt silly being so nervous when she had first asked him about this. He had expected something so much more awkward, but the two seemed to fit together so perfectly and easily. "What are you thinking of?" He asked her with a gentle tone.

Ujuzi rumbled softly and shifted to rest her head on his paws. "The pack, and what Haiji said before we left... about us becoming parents."

She really hadn't been aiming for this when she decided to ask Kengee to come with her, she'd only been looking for a fix for her little problem. She hadn't expected to confess feelings for him or to even be entertaining the thought of puppies in such a light. Ever since this whole cycle began it had turned her feelings upside down and shaken her up in ways she'd not been in a long time. It was amusing to think it all started with such a repetitive greeting, two seperate meetings occuring by pure happenstance.

"I knew it wasn't impossible... but it has honestly been the last thing on my mind since all this started."

He moved to compliment her position by laying his own head on top of hers, his nose tickled by her fur as his nostrils filled with her wonderful scent. The complete randomness of their meeting hadn't escaped him, either. But Kengee wasn't about to question such happiness, whether it be finding a pack that accepted him, or finding someone who completed him.

"Would it be such a bad thing?" The male quietly mused, half for her benefit and half for his own. If he had any doubts or worries about the subject, he was doing a good job of keeping them hidden.

"No, not bad. I don't know, I've never thought about it before. I never exactly expected to find someone stubborn enough to put up with me as well as you have." She mused back nostalgically. "To be honest, I never thought I'd need to think about it, but... it feels like something I'd like to experience, with you. Parenthood, I mean."

The corner of Kengee's muzzle quirked up into a crooked smirk at that comment. "It wasn't nearly as hard to as you make it sound."

He smiled again. True, he hadn't thought of it much, either. It felt like just yesterday when he was only a strapping young teen, only a week before when he was a pup. They just might experience it together, if fate and nature decided to agree.. "I can't think of anyone else I'd rather experience it with."

"I doubt it's as easy as you're attempting to make it sound either." She smiled slowly. "Hmm.... I'd like to head back soon. I don't trust Dafina alone with Haiji and Kengee. He's nearly as pig headed as they come."

"Maybe you're just being too hard on yourself." He responded, rubbing his muzzle against her ear.

Kengee frowned at that. He wasn't sure which brought his mood further down; the mention of Dafina, or the mention of leaving. Not that he minded rejoining the pack, he was just enjoying himself too much. Things would undoubtedly be different when they returned, and he wasn't sure how. "Pig-headed isn't the only thing I'd call him." He paused, a barely audible sigh escaping his throat.

"I suppose you're right. We'll have to go back sometime.." He smirked. ".. I was just hoping for a little more time alone with you, first."

Ujuzi gave a soft snort, amused, and cracked a crooked grin up at her mate, her left ear twitching to brush against his cheek. "Pervert." She teased.

Kengee whined a little in mock-hurt at her comment. "Not just for that." He replied in his defense. There had been so many changes in his life in such a short time, and he wanted to linger here for just a moment longer before he had to continue onto another stage of it. He moved his paw up against her neck as he gave her another lick. He wasn't naive to how things worked; if pups were in fact coming, it would be a long time before it was ever just the two of them again. Still, it was only one of two possibilities. "When do you want to meet up with them?.. We shouldn't be too far away from their location by now."

"Well, Haiji said that they'd wait for us in the Pridelands until we caught up. That's not actually very far from here, I believe we're somewhere near it's Southern Border now anyhow, so we can probably wait another day or two before we set out to find them... She's thinking about having the pack stay there for a while if we really are to be expecting little ones." Ujuzi responded, shifting her head to and fro a bit to give the underside of Kengee's chin a nuzzle with her head. "I think it's a good start. I've heard many good things about the Pridelands, and Haiji also believes that the land is rich enough for us to make it a temporary home until the pups would be old enough."

Kengee thumped his tail softly against the ground, a small, gruff moan bubbling up as she rubbed her head against his chin. Apparently Haiji had been thinking of the possibility of pups, too. Was he the only one in the pack that wasn't aware he was destined for fatherhood?.. He smirked a bit. "Sounds good to me.. I know Haiji wants to keep moving, but it might be hard with little ones running around."

He paused in a moment of reflection, trying to recall what it was like as a pup. It was odd; he could recall his days as a young adult, the times after he left his pack, with almost vivid detail. But his formative years had flown completely from his mind. He had forgotten what it felt like to be part of a family. That was something he wanted to hold onto now that he was fortunate enough to find it, and something he wanted to give to his own children for as long as they needed it.

"Have any names picked out?" He inquired jokingly, as if to add to the idea that it seemed Ujuzi -had- in fact been thinking about this for a while.

A lazy rumble sounded from the female at Kengee's side, the first half of the conversation was laid to rest with that, and officially closed as she let out a soft laugh. "Names, already? Well, I'm sure they wouldn't be difficult to think of, but isn't it usually tradition to wait until the pups are born? What if we don't pick enough?" Now there was an unnerving thought. How many pups could they have? All the same she grinned teasingly.

"Good point.." He noted, thinking for a moment before continuing on. "Or what if we pick names and the genders don't match?"

Suddenly a wave of responsibility washed over him. The two of them might just be responsible for the first members of the next generation of Hamaji. It was more than just having children; they would be in charge of molding the future members of the pack.

"Or they don't suit them personally?" She smiled, shutting her eyes. "I'm sure that we'll think of something fitting when the time comes. Our parents managed after all, didn't they?"

"A name never suits when it's first chosen, I think.. You have to grow into it." He murmured softly, gazing distantly with remembrance. He never understood his name or how its meaning, sunbeam, had anything to do with him. But, surely enough, eventually it stuck. He offered a small, sad grin at her second comment, that surely had she seen she would have noted as distinctly out of character. Our parents.. That was the one thing he remembered distinctly about his childhood. 'Managed' though they did, he wanted to do better than manage. He wanted their children to thrive.

"Perhaps. But when we have children," He muttered distantly, obviously deep in thought, the 'if' in his comment becoming a 'when', as though the possibilty were certain. "I don't want to just 'manage'. isn't it nature to want to become something better than what your parents were?.." He paused. "Or at least, to not make their mistakes."

She might not have seen his expression, but she certainly heard his tone, and it caused her head to lift and pull from under his, placing a paw where her chin once rested instead. The female looked to Kengee with eyes that seemed understanding, though not knowing the situation.

"It is." She confirmed, with not a trace of pity in her voice, but agreement. "I think anyone would strive for that... I'd want to protect them no matter what the cost, it's just a feeling that I can't shake. This must be what happens when you have someone that you know needs you."

She whined softly and brushed her head against his, a lingering sound faint and strained enough to break at the end.

"And we will, and our pack will help to make sure nothing happens to them as well."

Though she certainly did feel posessive and stubborn enough about her family that she didn't think it should have to come to that.

He met her gaze and smiled again in his usual way before softly touching his nose to hers in affection. He didn't need her to know or understand it; it wasn't something that warranted discussion. He was happy now.. He didn't want or need for anything else. "I think I like that feeling.. It's nice to be needed."

"I trust that we will.. And the pack, too." He nodded in agreement at her reassurance, already with few doubts that they would do an excellent job. He was sure they would both try their hardest not to make any mistakes when it came to raising their children; whether it be those of their parents or ones all their own. Still, the thought brought up a question that he felt perhaps she was comfortable enough with him now to answer. "What were your parents like, Ujuzi?"

It was as if she could feel that happiness through his eyes, could see it and taste it. The feeling coarsed through her when they touched and not surprisingly nor for the first time she felt a similar feeling of contented joy that she'd never really sought out for herself. She'd always taken life as it came, seeking only for her well being and the protection of those she cared for, never asking for more and being grateful just for what she had. Things were different now though! Now that she'd felt love's touch, and the excitement of starting a family she knew that they had something that she didn't physically need that was worth fighting for, and she would do whatever she could to actively protect it. Them.

"My parents... my mother, from what I can remember, was very warm and outgoing. She always made sure that all of us were cared for and looked after. She died when I was still just a pup, though." She smiled faintly, having long since come to terms with that. She still missed her of course, but she knew that her soul was at rest now. "My father was almost the opposite, strict and not very talkative. Mother and my older sisters used to tell me all the time that I took more after him than anyone else in our family. He's also a bit hot tempered, I doubt that'll ever change." She smirked a bit with a hint of affection. After finishing her descriptive answer her eyes roamed over Kengee again, curious and questioning. She could only assume that he had something painful in his past that made him sound as he had before, she wasn't entirely sure if asking him the same thing was a good idea, but far be it for her to let a little uncertainty stop her. It wouldn't do any good to keep something bottled up after all, they both had to know that by now. "What about yours, Kengee?"

Kengee let out a small sigh of shared contentment. He hadn't expected to find something such as this either; frankly, he'd assumed he was destined for solitude. But apparently love had another plan in mind for them both.

He grinned at her answer and the subtle fondness evident in her words. From her descriptions it was almost as if he could see them with his own eyes, and he noticed their mark in her. His smile faltered for a moment in sympathy as she spoke of her mother's death, and at her question, he lowered his eyes to the ground. He was silent for a few moments after that, before responding, his tone filled with loving recollection and just a hint of sadness. "My father died when I was young, as well. He was kind, and strong, and he provided for all of us but he didn't seem weighed down by the burden. I remember when he used to tell us these stories, and we'd think they couldn't possibly be true.." He trailed off, smiling apologetically at his ramblings. "In any case, he was a good dog. He died when our pack was attacked by another."

His tone seemed to grow colder, as though the affection in it drained away as he continued. "My mother was always very quiet. I suppose I did not really understand her, much. She had us when she was young, so I suppose it was a bit overwhelming for her..-" He stopped himself and ended his description shortly. "I don't suppose I was with either long enough to inherit anything from one or the other, short of their colors."

"Something ours will never have to worry about." She finally managed quietly, looking at him again with the same understanding eyes. It didn't seem like something he was ready to talk about yet... she wouldn't press yet then but, she hoped that some day he'd tell her the full story.

Kengee rumbled a quiet response at that and nodded before laying his head down to rest under hers. All of the resurfacing memories brought forward had suddenly worn on him, and he closed his eyes for a moment to rest and quietly enjoy their solitude for the short while longer.

It wasn't a story he'd ever want to tell her, or their children.. And if luck was on his side, then he wouldn't have to. The Hamaji were his kin now; he was finished dwelling on the past. Ujuzi and the others instilled in him the hope that there where those he could care for, and cared for him, and that such a purpose could exist for him that was unsullied by selfishness, fear and hurt. Either by blind chance or fate, it was decided that he would finally find in them all he'd ever really wanted, all he'd ever needed; a family.

Ujuzi waited until he'd settled his head down before licking near his forehead and finally settling hers atop of his so that now their position was reversed from before. She didn't know what happened to him to make his mother a sensitive subject, or who this pack that attacked his family and robbed him of his father was, but she'd be damned if anything happend to any member of her family. She'd protect them, physically and emotionally, because they were hers, and more meaningful than that they accepted her for who she was, even loved her for it.

They were all her something worth fighting for.  

[Tahja Estes]

6.]