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 Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:11 pm
"I just... I want to feel the way we felt together again... I just... I felt like... like I could take on the world. That everything would be okay. That... that I was safe so long as I knew... I knew she was safe."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:13 pm
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:16 pm
"I d-d-don't want to-anto-anto be alone I just I can't I love her, Jordan, no matter how... how twisted and distant she lets herself get I know I KNOW that loving, talented, amazing woman is still in there she's NOT dead sh-she's just... she's just confused and... and frightened and... and I can help her if she just would LET me..."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:18 pm
"Dude. Listen to yourself. Stop and think about the things you just said."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:21 pm
Jerry's expression contorted, trying to process what the problem could be. He couldn't. "If... if Rep went off the deep end. I mean... I mean really... pushed you away, pushed everyone away... just... what would you do?"
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:31 pm
Jordan looked down into his cup, his mouth pulling down. "If he told me to go away, to leave him alone ... I'd give him space. If I - if he really didn't want me around, it'd do no damn good to force him to talk to me. It'd drive him away. If all he needed was some time alone, if he was coming back ... he'd come back when he was ready. If he wasn't - " Jordan paused and swallowed, making himself think about it as rationally as he could, " - if he stopped loving me, I would - would hope that he'd be happier for having left. I'd be - " he hesitated, searched for a word neutral enough, "I'd be upset. But if he was happier without me, that would have to be enough. That he'd decided for himself and was happy."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:37 pm
Jerry fell quiet, staring at his plate, his shoulders trembling. "I still love her," He whispered, "I just... I can't stop loving her. I c-can't stop thinking about her and it hurts..."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:42 pm
"If you really love her," Jordan said, "respect her wishes. Stop trying to force her to be the woman she was. She's not that woman anymore, and telling her you know who she is better than she does is cruel and not particularly loving." He looked away, expression twisting briefly. "Let go. It doesn't mean you stop caring. It means you care enough to let her be who she is and not who she was."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:48 pm
He sniffed, wiping his face again, "I... I should go. I've... I've wasted enough of your time."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:30 pm
"I can't force you to accept my help, either." Jordan sighed. "But it hurts to watch you killing yourself over this."
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:32 pm
Jerry shifted and as he stood, there was a flash of silver as his hand returned to his inner coat pocket. He watched Jordan's face for some time. "We... we need to spend more t-time together... when there isn't a crisis. Ahahaha..." He sniffed again but forced himself to smile.
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:36 pm
"Yeah." Jordan looked up at Jerry, making no move to follow him. He hoped that Jerry would think about it, maybe recognize how twisted his behavior was becoming, how obsessive. Maybe, maybe not. "One of these days there'll be a pause between crises," he said, and smiled a little.
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Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:53 pm
"At Deus? Never. Ahahahahahhaha," He almost forgot his tray, bobbing away and back again to scoop it up. "I'll... I'll talk to you later," another trembling smile. "Um. Th-thank you Jordan," He swallowed, "It's... it's nice to know um. Someone cares..." That said, he shifted awkwardly for a moment before drifting away. The moment his back was turned, the smile was gone.
He felt... exhausted.
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