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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:26 am
Chapter XXXIX: Laziness is a Common Trait Well at least I'm happy that our hard work has paid off and we're near the end of the game.  Whoops, I was so excite that I forgot to screencap the whole "Rainbow Drop" item.  And because we're too lazy to just jump over this.  We just sort of let the power of magic take over.  Only this time it's slightly a little more dramatic than in the first two. heart  Kay, bridge time 4laugh  I like how 100 years later a big huge mountain just sort of spawns underneath Charlock.  We then of course receive a warm welcome.  Gotta fight six of these, but with our overpowered equipment/levels, we plow right through.  And they get very violent deaths. heart  Ah, the hidden place under the throne, where would DQ/W be without you? gonk this is what makes Charlock the worst dungeon in the entire game. D:  Upon many frustrating attempts to get by, we finally do on our billionth time. O hai Ortega!  Because it's Ortega he gets his own dramatic battle.  Where he jumps around like an 80s work out video and does less damage than if I were to melee attack.  Then one hit brings the ******** wit to the ground.  Lulz, then they try to make you feel bad by watching him fly up in the air after every attack he takes. heart  In case you're wondering, there is a dramatic two seconds of him dying while he is blind and deaf, Roto just sort of walks on him and presses on, he already ******** up her life this much, so she might as well see it through to the end.  In which Guv is so overjoyed that Ortega died that he went ahead and maxed his STR out. heart  And I'm lovin' this s**t too.  We then completely forget about Ortega and have a sexy gold fight from all the gold we find in these chests or until Liam by accident throws one into Guv's eye and I have to heal him wasting precious MP and we all sort of get pissed off/embarrassed just don't say another word.  fgsfds, free healing thus making the game a joke, YAYYYYY!  Looks more like a tomb if you ask me. Next Chapter-Cronies, Street Fighter and drama.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:43 am
Chapter XL: Round Two: Fight! Round Three: Fight! Right, so here's where we were: in the basement of Charlock with Zoma being his usual depressed teen self.  Come they do, but not so on the suffering side..  Either Ortega was a weak, weak man or didn't have pimped out equipment like us cause the worst he did was 8DMG to everyone with his fire breath.  I hope you're ******** watching this from Hell Ortega, you're useless. mad  Next up is a really bad pun dictating that Baramos has a more badass brother. lol  Eh, he's a little more badass than the silly Hydra.  But sure enough.. oy yoy yoy, next time I'm not going to power level. D:  Then he just gets pissed off and gets his undead, roasted a** off the ground.  But without his blubber to protect him, he's just target practice for Roto and her shiny King Sword.  Oh God, I actually went back and saved because I knew that you can't save after you beat Zoma. gonk  And to my dismay, I learned I had to fight everyone again, FUUUUUUUUCK! mad  But I'm not going to make you sit through what I had to, we press right on to Zoma.  Uhh, cause you're going to kill us if we don't? Kay, srsly, why do final bosses ask such dumb questions? mad  I think Barabros had the best chance out of you guys.  Real creative Enix, using the same boss song I've been listening to since Baramos. mad  Oh yes, I nearly forgot, I have to use this.  Oh we're going bareback now. mad  I'll come back to this picture when it's not 3:30am and I'm not on the floor laughing from being a pervert cause we went bareback, eh? Eh? lol  But on a srs note: the worst thing he does is do that ever do dreadful "Disruptive Wave that angers everyone." Oh yeah and he finally has final boss music.  And dies. Tune in next chapter for explosions, spontaneous combustion, big gaping holes and more really, really inappropriate pictures. PS: I really did lulz when I saw I've taken a picture of a white screen. D:
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:05 pm
Chapter XLI: Go Back Home and Be a Family Man!I looked at the clock last night proud of all the work I did, then I looked closer and I was like "HOLY s**t, IT'S 4AM AND HAVE TO GO TO WORK TODAY!" Now it's 4:30PM and I still haven't got any sleep. emo  Either he was too busy trying to dodge Roto's sword of RAGGGGGE and his cloak did a graceful glide over the torches, or like any other amazing final boss, he randomly goes up in flames upon dying.  Then he does the ever so reoccurring rant about light and dark that made a many heroes and heroines scratch their heads.  Such as a purple headed man who turns into a dragon with a silly rape face and a badass six or four armed man who sort of crushes any hope of surviving in a frozen land.  Then you get one last shot of him burning up just to be sure.  ...Perverts. mad  But the truth is he exploded and his flaming body parts are now everywhere, so Roto not wanting to be part of this takes a graceful leave.  ..down a big gaping hole that I had like .5 seconds to screencap.  Luckily we now know where the bottomless pit somehow leads to, lolwut?  Still not wanting any part of this, she runs as fast as she can from the now crumbling floor which somehow respawns 100 years later and re-crumbles 100 years after that.  And we're now stuck in Alefgard, looks like we'll have to rely on the MP Sage in Tantegel instead of the warm floor of Roto's house in Aliahan. : (  Then the Light Orb does its thing as usual with the dramatic harp/rainbow bridge effect. heart  YAY, PEACE AND NO RANDOM ENCOUNTERS!  Yes, because Zoma's flaming body parts are just that badass, sadly, a mountain is sort of going to respawn there as well as a cathedral of a castle called Charlock. mad  Anyway, we sort of head back home, or to our new home. D<  Then he does his usual "YOU'RE AN HERO(ine)!" rant that we all know, but with a twist. cool  Which sort of makes us naming her "Roto" a time warp, oh well, let's just pretend that Alefgard are unoriginal pricks and based the title Loto on Roto's name and just changed one letter.  Which takes us to the end, you know where the guards play their song and not get stuck by lightning?  Then just to be safe, more soldiers come out and everyone turns into sexy dancers and it's just a good time.  After dealing with the rioting in Brecconary, we are taken to Roto's shield or chest or whatever to look at her symbol.  And no, Dragon Warrior IV isn't about the hero before her named Loto. mad  She sort of buries herself in the cave to the north which had respawned by now mind you. While we're on that note, this is what happens to our other heroes. Kang- Sadly falls back to the future and has to save the world 10 seconds after going back to the future and he forgot all his spells and is now just a manly warrior. Guv- Reluctantly decided to go back and aid his King who was in Ruida's Tavern not as a playable character all this time, but his max STR and AGL will forever be welcome to our team. Liam- Last place we saw him was climbing a golden train and flying to the skies, but it's Dragon Quest, we flew on a dragon man! So we just sort of accepted that he has his own manners to attend to.  And because she's a narcissistic woman, she renames them after her, the King Sword didn't fit her style anyway. mad  CUE DRAGON QUEST THEME SONG.  Never can thank this man enough, his creation is my biggest obsession.  Even if he goes on to take the female merchant, give her blond hair and give her a spin off some time after this game, I still love him.  So, how many GBs have you've taken of my iPod already and counting? heart  I don't even know you, but I could just hug you. 4laugh  Who the ******** are those people? I don't know, but they're with DQ, so... heart  But because no one likes the credits, we skip to the big plot twist, CURSE YOU ZOMA AND YOUR PREDICTIONS! mad    
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:27 pm
Chapter XLII: HAH, AND YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OVER!Right, because it's not DQII and you want moar beating around (oh God, a bonus dungeon in DQII? I would be to scared to even go in there), they added a bonus dungeon, let us just sort of slip into the Dragon Queen's Castle, go to the window that is said to go to Heaven, and... OH SHI-!  Islands in the sky? RIP OFF! mad  Sadly the cave leads to an extra dungeon which is essentially a copy/pasta of previous dungeons and for the first half of the dungeon, it's all just chests with Mimics. emo  Eh, would have been useful like eight dungeons before when everyone wasn't at max STR. D:<  Oh yeah, and Roto has a new title which doesn't affect her stat growths at all or teach her pimped out magic. : (  Getting better.. although I wouldn't put that on me for the life of me.  And random encounters. Imagine fighting two buffed out Baramos at the same time and you got these encounters. gonk  And it's not even worth it. >: ( -runs away next time.-  O LAUD, O LAUD, .2% DROPS, I LOVE THE WORLD NOW! heart  And yup, we just fought this p***k as a major near final boss, screw off. mad Although it really makes Ortega look like a wuss.  Remember this? Only...  It was weak halfway through the game and it's still weak now. mad I would like to throw it in another volcano.  I still wouldn't even put that on me even if I can for once. D:  Aw ********, I hate Monster Arenas.  Oh wait, we ARE the Monster Arena, ******** this, I don't have the time to.  The best part is we actually can if we wanted.  But because he sassed us, we're going to take the S.O.B out.  You were a random encounter the floor below and Guv can still CRTC hit/kill you in one hit.  Upon defeat, we head down the stairs to, lolwut? OH GOD YES. Apart from being a copy/pasta of the original scenario scene, our hard work finally pays off.  If you can't take the hint, just go to Tedanki and pick up a weapon to break Guv to the furthest extent.  And go back to ZENITHIA for some more broken items.  Darkness, flowers, I can't even- I KNOW, THE ONLY PLACE IN ALEFGARD WITH A FLOWER ROOM, TO CANTLIN!  Eh, we already have this.  How about... the only place with a telescope!  But before we head to the small town that no one can remember the name...  For all the Pachisi I can handle gonk gonk gonk  Aw, no more game breaking items. : (  Oh yeah, and here's the final game breaking item, merry Christmas Guv.  Now for more Fungeon.  Yeah ******** you, we don't get anything outta it. mad Next Chapter- Fungeon, Fungeon, Fungeon... and a big ******** dragon and my worst nightmare since beating the Fungeon in DQV.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 1:46 pm
Chapter XLIII: Hell, and Nothing Short of It. Nothing else to do, oh man, it's going to be so much fun! 4laugh  Which does absolutely nothing fyi. stare  I've never tried it out of fear of restarting, but if you were to fall off the Path to Zenithia.. would you end up in... Strathbaile or Endor? heart  Yay, the ultimate weapon, finally something worth crawling all the way here! <3  We could if we really wanted to, but we give it to Liam as he hasn't had an upgrade since we last bought weapons for him while everyone else got their own sidequest of game breaking weapons. D:  We also get this which would have been more excite if I never got the like .2% drop from the Metal Babble. D:<  Oh for ********-. gonk  ...can I has present now and not fight you three times? gonk  I think they call him Shinryu in other versions, but either case, he is a pain in the a**.~  Like he's just going to tear in there and make you bleed, which is a very bad thing, but being cocky from destroying Zoma, we decide to see who can tear things up first.  Then we're just sort of floating in the clouds being slapped around like hoes to this guy.  I still don't get how sleeping causes the biggest hurt in the game. D:< and it hits everyone by the way and even puts hoes to bed.  Ah, who can forget the terrible, terrible, worst attack in the series? mad  Somehow, someway, I manage not to die and Roto tears into him with lightning magic, Liam tanks and Guv sort of slaps him around.  Eight more and the fight would have been in vain, you see, if you beat him in a right amount of turns, he grants your wish, which not wishing to spoil, the choices are: A.) A big ******** nightmare B.) Anger and ragggge C.) Useless things, so being set off to destroy me, we choose A.). crying And it's the worst in the game.  Zipangu just got a lot more hellish.  -Dies a little more.-  And there is nothing to stop me. gonk  Yup, you heard right 70 to navigate this three floored track of hellish Japanese wells without girls coming out of it to kill you. Next Chapter- Pachisi, Pachisi, God Dragons and uselessness.
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Posted: Wed Jan 12, 2011 2:16 pm
Chapter XXXXIV: Savestates Next Time or I'm Going to Do this Drunk! Apart from the chapter title depicting of my agony, it actually starts off pretty rad.  Alright, key items that we formerly didn't have, also rad just in case me and you missed being sexy Assaram dancers. <3  Now this is just getting old. mad  Would have been nice if there was actually shops that sold better equipment. D:<  Oh God yes. If you can't tell, I'm trying to be nice about this whole Hellish experience instead of showing you that I lost half my gold in a Mystery Square and fell down the same trap door twice in a row.  Seven tries later of ragggge and more Change Staffs, we finally crash this board, oh, and Roto probably gained like max STR from landing on stat changing squares and getting lucky.  Our prize: crappy armour.  And a crappy accessory, THANKS GOD DRAGON! mad  Right, so carrying on after the rage, we head back to God Dragon only for Roto to receive without a doubt, the best HP/MP stat up in the game. heart  We're greedy and like tearing you a new hole! mad  We are also completionists and fight like men to get s**t done.  And it gets even worse third time round. gonk  Yup, exactly the same p***k we just wasted last update.  Pachisi, that's all I can say. 4laugh  Which Dragon Porn apparently changes the reader to be Sexy/Lewd, but because we're at high levels already, it's sort of useless.  Oh, I am so going to get a bloody nose from this. redface  Oh man, I am so red in the face now.  Just because lonely women have a soft spot in my heart.  And I'm lovin' this s**t man, I'm lovin' it.  Right, third time round.  And he still doesn't get harder, although he killed me and Guv on the very last turn he had of living before Liam whacked the p***k outta the sky with his Wrecking Ball.  Yup, just so Roto can lulz at him and throw the King Hydra corpse at him every now and then.  No, Roto is not Ortega, she's just very strong looking for throwing a God Dragon into the mortal realm three consecutive times, look ahead, mother of Roto. D:<  No longer is he the blind, deaf sniveling fool we found burnt and scratched at the bottom of Charlock. Wost of all, he doesn't even join her out of embarrassment, FML, YDI. In closing- If you have not played this game, PLAY IT! Like seriously, this game was ahead by a decade for its time and it still is enjoyable by the modern RPG fans, the odd graphics bitching and moaning aside. Sure I may cry about various parts of the game (arrow tiles, Pachisi and so on) but it's what makes this game have the edge of challenge that everyone loves. When I first picked up the series, this was the very first game that I actually wanted to play over and over (then along came IV which confirmed my obsession of the series), but really, just play it, while I don't encourage ROM usage (ironically) and would rather you just buy the NES Warrior version (if you have approx. $100 to burn or if your Dad is awesome and just so has a copy or two laying around) or the more common, but based on this version GBC version, just play it.
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Posted: Thu Jan 13, 2011 3:07 am
I suppose by me completing this before Roto's birthday would also be her present, happy birthday Roto! Although you should really get to saving the world, you're sort of four years behind that. heart
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