|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:30 pm
That's great! I would like him much more if he was like that, it would be kind of comical. xD
I'll try to express this in his profile, obliterate his overpowered skills to stay out of trouble and cut-paste-rewrite some of the story inserted in his personality, putting it in a separate place. It'll make things easier to understand.
Now, he thinking highly of himslef, what would that be called? Let's see... I can use arrogant, contemptuous, haughty, overbearing, peremptory, presumptuous, and others. Which one works the best? I'm not good at knowing which words express the right feelings in english for not being a native. ^^"
ps. You thanked me in the forum for being nice. It's my pleasure, don't worry. >u<"/
Profile critique is hellish hard, so I want to make things easier for you and the other staff members. I really appreciate the help and I can only repay by being easy to work with. ^^
Besides, I was hard in the past and I don't want to be like that again, I still feel bad for it. >~<"""
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:50 pm
That depends on how he's handing it. 'Presumptuous' might work better for what you're going with, the Wiktionary definition reads "Going beyond what is right or proper because of an excess of self-confidence or arrogance."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 8:13 pm
Okay, I'll use that ^^
I'll have a rewritten profile by today or tomorrow, depending on how much work it'll take. I don't want any loose ends.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 9:26 pm
Okay, I cut the "manipulative" flaw and added the "Presumptuous", probably his worst/best flaw so far. Also, cut and edited all the personality traits, clipping the story out and changing some things here and there so they read better.
I'll use the clipped parts of his story to build a new, cohesive version.
How does it look?
EDIT: I want to change the name Rebound, seeing that it carries such a bad meaning towards love relationships ~_~"
I found some names that could work for both the powers and his personality (something that Rebound isn't doing anymore)
They are: divertion, deviation, veering, shifting, carom, digress, glancing, grazing, ricochet and skimming. All of them carry out the theme of his powers in a unique way, conbined with the personality.
I like deviation and carom the most, but which one do you think will work better?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 10:02 am
It looks amazing bhek! You really put a lot of work into it! -cheeers-
If your thinking of changing it from rebound to something else, out of your options there. Personally I love the word Ricochet, but if I had to choose between deviation and carom I'd go with Deviation.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 5:44 pm
Thank you Shini! ^^
I talked to Mouse over the IM and we discussed a lot of stuff, one of them were the names.
I'm still uncertain about the names, but Ricochet sounds good. If nothing else works I'll stay with Rebound anyway ^^
-----
Okay, as an update, I changed a whole lot of stuff that I discussed with Mouse, rewrote whole traits and made completely new ones that work better with the personality I want to create for him.
Now I just need to make a new eternal power for him <3
EDIT: Okay, all done! <3
Besides making a new eternal, I changed all the attacks to simpler versions that were discussed with Mouse.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Sep 21, 2010 9:03 pm
Hey Bhek! I really, really love all the work you've put into him! If you're still thinking about changing from "Rebound" (because I can see how it can be used differently in and out of context) I think I like "Ricochet" the most, too. Of course, I'm sure you'll be able to use Rebound as a positive/advantage for him, either way.
You have no idea how excited I am for you. XD;
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:38 am
Thank you, Guine! It was very hard to reach the landmark he is now, but it was definitely worth the effort. I learned so much and grew deeply fond of his personality, it's by far my favorite OC. ^^ I'm having a hard time deciding between rebound and ricochet. I though about using "Senshi of Repercussion", since it's defined in the dictionary as "A recoil, rebounding, or reciprocal motion after impact", as one of it's interepretations. Here.I need a stronger name then ricochet or rebound, something poetic and/or respectful. I'm very meticulous with words and names, they are important for me. xD I'm excited too, I want to finally RP him. xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:35 am
Omg, he could be the Senshi of Newton's Laws of Motion! *shot*
Sorry, the word "Repercussion" made me think of the third law of motion. Senshi of Newton's Third Law? It has a basis in science, at least! That's respectful, right?? Er... I'm probably not being very helpful. D:
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:43 am
It IS kind of cool and I'm geeky enough to appreciate that! xD
Maybe it's better as "Senshi of the Third Law". XD
I don't know it will be accepted, but it's a cool name, the "Senshi of The Third Law", even if kind of long. I can't see why not. XD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:14 pm
Senshi of Newtonian Physics? Senshi of Inertia?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 12:34 pm
Newtonian Physics would describe all three laws and classic mechanics and Inertia would mean remaning in a state of rest of uniform movement.
The third law, though, seems rather fitting. xD
Other than that, Momentum sounds good as well, since the energy orbs don't loose any momentum, they actually gain it on the second power.
edit: Okay, I've decided to go with either "Senshi of The Third Law" or "Senshi of Momentum". Now I gotta wait and see what Mouse says.
I hope they are okay, I really like both and for different reasons. xD
Oh boy, ended up going for Ricochet. ^^
It's actually a cool name now that I think about it. ôuô
Anyway, this is the end of my search for a good name. xD
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:37 pm
Sorry for the double post, but this is just a quick update.
I rewrote almost everything (except for wiseass). It was hard to read and understand the way it was before, so I had to do something about it. >.<"/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:37 pm
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Sep 25, 2010 6:38 pm
Holy s**t! Thanks Mouse! >U<""""
Finally *shiny eyes* TuT
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
