Welcome to Gaia! ::

Yeah, I totally support that idea as well.

And hey, being on the right forum and all - if you're always feeling watched, and it *is* some sort of spirit or similar, letting it know you'd like to be left alone could be quite helpful.

Also...I know this sounds weird, but maybe you need to stop watching creepy movies? They seem to really get to you - like, a lot more than most people. Me, if I found that scary movies made me want to kill my sleeping parents, I'd invent reasons not to see any.

Personally, I think it sounds like you're very sensitive (pick whatever level you feel like deciding I mean), and need to work on shielding and interpersonal boundaries (and maybe also the dietary thing, so check out the book I hawked at Dras). I never got anything as bad as you're talking about, but I did used to have a problem with picking up other people's emotions, and I'd have trouble figuring out which ones (if any) were mine. And in high school, that's a pretty damn volatile mix. There are lots of people on this forum who can help with shielding, so hey! Start a self-protection thread. Couldn't hurt, might help.

@ Dras: You officially win the Nasty Health Issues Award. I only ever got the 30-day monitor before they told me to just suck it up.

Oh yeah, and for the both of you another outside bet would be taking up a martial art of some kind. Helps with boundaries, helps relieve stress and frustration, strengthens and regulates the heart. I swear I do not run a dojo, this is just advice from my personal stash of Things That Tend To Help. Worst case, you can invite your invisible creepy-a** watchers to get a good look at your awesome roundhouse kick.

And nobody feel sorry for me, dammit! I've been all kinds of happy for years and years. I like to think of all that other junk as Life Experiences. It's amazing how many things clear up along with adolescence. It really is not a sane period of life...

Cheerios, I'm just trying to help. If I'm hurting you, I'll stop.

Yvaine, er...thanks? I've ordered the book you told me about from Amazon and it's being shipped as we speak. And I'm starting to believe the beta blockers my cardiologist gave me are giving me some sort of allergic reaction. Or some sort of reaction in general. I didn't see this s**t on the list of side effects, but whatever. I have tiny little bumps on my cheeks and forhead that itch (probably isn't hives, they're usually bigger, not acne, not...anything), and I have about 8 canker sores on my gums, sides of my mouth, tongue, and the back/sides of my throat. The area under my tongue is really sore, too, and feels almost swollen. It hurts to move my tongue more than a quarter of an inch or so. This is bullshit. I've got to call his office today anyway, so I'll ask then.

Well, it's good that you're feeling good. But I'm wondering how often you get in such a good mood that you can't sleep. Because--I don't want to call names or point fingers--that sounds indicative of bipolar. Please, go see someone. They're not going to lock you up. I promise.

that wont help.... I mean no one knows more than me. I've seen this before. It's ******** up your life. I just.... can't for years I thought of that option and never once has it appealed to me

What do you mean "no one know more than me"? It doesn't ******** up everyone's life. I've been in therapy/counseling for 5 years now, and it's helped a lot. I first started going because I was getting overwhelmed in school. Then, it just so happened that I had one of the biggest fights with my father. Then, my grandfather died on my kitchen floor. Then...you get the idea. Counseling/therapy has helped me through so much, I can't even list it all. If you'd like to talk a bit more about it personally, you can PM me.

My mother finally suggested I see someone after I got so angry that I grabbed her wrists and slammed her against a door. Not saying that that's the way to do it, because it sure as hell isn't. It just wasn't a real problem for me.

Question: How old are you? Are you in middle school/high school/college? I think, legally, public schools are required to have counselors on hand, so you might start there. Besides, if she has lived with you all your life, don't you think she has some sort of idea that there's something wrong?

Happy belated birthday, then.

Did she ever respond to anything when you were younger negatively? It might be worth confiding in her. Just make sure she knows that what you're telling her is for her ears only. I made the mistake of not telling my mother that after I finally broke down and told her about how I was a constant wreck (just good at hiding it) and how being in the same house with my father was killing me (quite literally), and before I knew it, the whole ******** family knew, along with her friends and coworkers. Needless to say, I pitched the biggest fit of my life.

However, my mother is an idiot. She doesn't think before she says things, and doesn't take into account how her actions will affect people (not even herself). Chances are, your mother would be more understanding. But I don't know.

Welp, you can't gain a damn thing with out risk, so go for what ever you feal like.