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Greil's Mercenaries, Episode I: OMG WTF Ghostzorz!? 1!! Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 [>] [»|]

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Free Gold, courtesy of Greil's Mercenaries!
  All right! Thanks, Greil's Mercenaries! You guys rock!
  Pssh, yeah right. I'm sure Darth Vader's the one who gave us this stuff. Good guys are always poor.
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Recamen

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 5:54 pm


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--The Atlantic Ocean, Earth Airspace
November 26, 2007 11:00 A.M.--

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*Greil's Mercenaries drive onto the Atlantic Ocean in the Rhysmobile.*

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Ike: Dear God, look! One whale's already been nuked! We've gotta hurry. Step on the gas, Rhys!

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Titania: Look! That's where the whale-nuking is coming from!

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Rhys: I see it! Shall we ram the ship and sink it? I think the Rhysmobile can handle it.

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Ike: Yeah, but then the Rhysmobile'd get scratched up, and then we'd have to call Geico and they'd probably deny our claim, saying it was OUR fault for trying to stop bad guys from nuking the whales. Besides, ramming and sinking a ship? That's too cowardly! Let's just sword-fight it out.

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Shinon: Darn. Hey, Gatrie! You can get out of the torpedo tube now!

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Gatrie: *Climbs out of torpedo tube 1* Wait. So now we're going to board the enemy ship?

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--Meanwhile, on the enemy ship, the "Ship With A Big Anchor"...
Lookout Sharkbait: Avast! Lord Nergal! Cap'n Barbossa! There be some kinda half-car half-boat racin' across the seas in our direction!

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Nergal: *Launches a nuke, taking down another whale.* Ha! Take that, you giant... fat... whales, you! ...Wait. What?

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Cap'n Barbossa: Stand about, ye landlubbers! Hard to port and fire the cannons! Move it, by the briny beard o' Shanty Pete!!
PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:05 pm


(I was wondering when I'd get back to this.)

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Ike: *Boards the ship* Hyah! Now you're all going to get it!

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Barbossa: What be in yer head, boy? Savin' the whales? Pah! Well, if ye think ye'll be doin' that, ye'll... ye'll... actually, we be having no reason t' fight the whales. They don't steal treasure, and it's not like they be eatin' any o' me apples. Arrr...

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Nergal: Fine! I'll handle them by myself, with a little help from my morphs!

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Luke Skywalker: Ahh, my back! It hurts!

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Toadsworth: I shall destroy you all with my magical mushroomic powers, wot wot!

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Raven: ...

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Ike: Hey, wait a minute! *Points at Raven* He's not a morph!

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Nergal: He says "..." all the time. That's close enough, right? Let's go, already!

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Manic Martini

PostPosted: Thu Jan 17, 2008 6:40 pm


Raven's included, and as a pseudo-morph no less! That makes me love this even more. Can't wait for the next update.
PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 9:05 pm


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Mist: Hey, Toadsworth's already fled!

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Titania: Off to collect Social Security, no doubt. *Cleaves Luke in two with her poleaxe, since he's about as old as Toadsworth.* That just leaves Raven...

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Raven: ...*Jumps into the air, bringing his Silver Sword down on Ike's head*

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Ike: Nooo! Who will save the world now!? *Dies.*

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GAME OVER
Continue?
Yes
Possibly
Nah <---

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Titania: IKE!!

Alright, alright... <---

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Raven: ...*Jumps into the air, bringing his Silver Sword down on Ike's head*

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Ike: *Jumps over to Soren, taking 1 less damage and thereby saving his life by 1 HP* Alright, you asked for it! My support with Soren saved me, but you have nobody to support with! Now DIE!!

*To the tune of the awesome Pokemon battle music from the Red/Blue version days, Ike points his sword at Raven. Then he flips forward to Raven, seizure-inducing anime wall thingies zooming in the background as he slices Raven in half, then slices him in half again as he flips back.*

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Raven: CURSE YOU, CHAPTER RESTARTS...! *Dies in the customary massive explosion.*

(We apologize but take no responsibility for any seizures incurred while reading this post.)

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Recamen

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 10:11 pm


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Ike: Give it up, Nergal! You're not blowing up any more whales!

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Nergal: Do you realize whom you fight, boy? I'm Nergal! The most badass villain in video games for 3 years running! See?

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Trophy: Shing! *Sparkle, sparkle*

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Mia: Holy snap. I thought Mithos won the trophy in 2005! Why didn't anybody tell me!?

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Nergal: You should look it up on wikipedia sometime. In any case... *Fires Ereshkigal at Rhys*

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Rhys: *Blinks as the dark energy just passes him harmlessly* Oh, yeah. Attack the one guy whose resistance is greater than God's. Amateur. Now feel the wrath of my Light tome and-- UGH! It's--so--heavy--OOMF! *Falls to the deck, unable to hold up the 4-weight tome any longer.*

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Soren: See, this is why I wield Wind tomes. I call upon the wind to deliver salvation from my foes! TORNADO!

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*Soren summouns a massive tornado, which delivers...*

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Brittney Spears: RAAAAAWR!! 1!!

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Nergal: Even if you defeat me, you can never defeat Darth Vader! Tremble and despair, fools! *Dies.*
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:19 am


Pssh. Yggdrasil was so much cooler. He should have gotten the trophy! -fumes-

Bacillus Anthracis


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 10:13 am


(Yeah, both Nergal and Mithos Yggdrasil were pretty good villains. Believe it or not, I also like Remiel quite a bit, even if he was but a pawn.)
PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 1:09 pm


(I enjoyed killing Remiel. If I remember, hes the first angel that you fight. As a character, he kinda annoyed me. His voice just creeped me out. But Mithos was a cool character all around. Nergal... Just odd. Heh.)

Bacillus Anthracis


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2008 3:08 pm


(Nergal was at least better than the other FE villains from the games shipped to the States. The Demon King was a joke, and Ashnard just seemed like not much more than a brute with a really big sword.
But yeah, Mithos says some really cool things. I can see why some would say he's not really the villain, per se.)
PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 12:38 pm


(Agreed with Nergal. The whole ToS story was amazing. Mithos was only trying to end discrimination once and for all. Though anyone would know that that is thoroughly impossible. Someone will always hate someone else.)

Bacillus Anthracis


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 8:03 pm


(Actually, after playing through it again last year, I didn't think Symphonia's story was all that amazing. Some of the messages were pretty cool, yes. But what won me over about ToS was the characters. I greatly enjoyed the characters you control; my respect for Kratos increased as I saw his "trying to be the father he never was" angle, and though I've realized Lloyd's somewhat emo, at least he's confident and even a little badass, unlike the pathetic Luke fon Fabre of Abyss. I only wish Presea and Regal had been given a little more time in the group, because you don't get as much time to know them as the rest of the cast. Otherwise, they're all awesome.
A lot of the rest of the cast was pretty cool too; the only ones I didn't like were the stupid Chocolat (why'd the Desians let her live? gonk ) and the Desian Grand Cardinals (except Forcystus, who is one of those characters that says little but stays awesome).
Otherwise... yeah, Mithos was trying to end discrimination, but his method of doing so demanded too high a price--making everyone the same would basically ruin all meaning in life. Lloyd at least believes that if he can't stop all discrimination, he can at least stop enough of it so that everyone can get along.
But you guys probably don't want to hear me ramble forever on ToS versus FE7, huh? razz If I can say one more thing, it's that the only game I've seen that's ToS' equal in terms of characters and character development, it's Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance.
Anyway.

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Brian Dawkins: *Appears in a puff of green smoke.* Greetings, Greil's Mercenaries, and congratulations over your victory over Nergal.

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Ike: Whoa! Brian Dawkins, right? Er... how'd you get here all of a sudden?

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Dawkins: Eh, I graduated from Hogwarts a few years ago. Of course, to avoid copyright issues, J.K. Rowling called me "Harry Potter". None of her stuff about Harry is true about me, either. 'Cept that he can use magic.

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Ike: ...Dubious, but in any case, you're here to tell us how to defeat Greil, right?

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Dawkins: Indeed. As you know, Greil is from an alternate universe. What you may not have realized is that it's actually very difficult to transfer to another universe. Other than the Philadelphia Eagles, there are very few organizations known to us that have the power to bring people into this universe. How Vader managed to bring Greil over, we do not know.

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Soren: Is there any way to defeat Greil?

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Dawkins: Actually... no and yes. According to the Law of Universal Death, each and every person dies in his or her own universe. Failure to do so would be catastrophic--a person who dies in another universe creates a logical paradox, because although the person was born, he never died in his universe of origin. This poses no problem for the universe of origin, because its logic matrix doesn't necessarily have to document the person's death--it's only done so for record-keeping purposes. However, for the universe the person transferred to, it's a recorded death for a person who logically should never have existed.

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Soren: Which means that the universal logic matrix would have a paradox on its hands... I take it, then, that killing Greil is out because...

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Dawkins: Because the paradox would consume the universal logic matrix. The only way to save it would be a temporary shutdown, but during that time, there would be no logic to govern the universe.

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Soren: And when all hell breaks loose, the universe becomes as nothing until the logic matrix comes back on. But by then, it'll be too late. Then we must somehow remove Greil from this universe. But how?

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Dawkins: It's a strange method. Only Adam West himself understands it. ...You must get Greil to say his name backwards.

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Soren: Well, this universe is screwed!

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Gatrie: And not in the giant orgy kind of way!

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Dawkins: Exactly. I won't say it's easy, but it's our only chance.

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Shinon: Hey, wait a second. You just said that the universe is basically in peril, right? So wouldn't this now fall under your jurisdiction?

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Dawkins: Believe you me, Shinon. We are always on guard against threats to the universe. But if we were the only ones defending everything against everything, that doesn't show that others are so willing to step up to defend what is theirs, now, does it? It's like a penalty on the other team: It's okay to receive help from them, but sooner or later you have to learn to stand on your own feet.

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Shinon: Now I get it! Hmm... alright, fine! But when we go to the Death Star and beat the (beep) out of Vader, everyone, my name goes in the headlines on the front page!

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Ike: Okay then, our path is clear and our subquests are done! Greil's Mercenaries... TAKE A BREAK! And then when the time comes...
MOOOOOOOOVE OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUT!!!
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 12:02 pm


(I just realized that PoR Ike looks much better than RD Ike. But, you must not respond to me if you don't want to. You're completely right about getting back to your story.
I must simply comment on one thing about ToS. My first play-through, because of the cinematic opener, I thought you got Chocolat as a character instead of Presea. Heh. But I wish she had died as well. Or at least turned into a monster! Do you happen to know if any of the side quests actually have you cure Clara? Collette and Raine always say they will cure her, but I've never found a trigger that does it.)

Bacillus Anthracis


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 7:37 pm


(With the PoR/RD looks? That goes double for Rhys. gonk Sure, they did Mia justice, but at what cost to me!? I can just see it now: "Mia liked Rhys and all, but decided that his looks in RD had become way too boyish, and she was just too pretty for a baby-face. So she left him."
And it's okay. I respond to people within reason and when I want to. Don't worry, I won't forget Greil's Mercenaries.
Oh yeah, and you can cure Clara. You have to go to Izoold's beach strip as you near the game's ending. Doesn't do anything besides bring Clara back to life, though. She doesn't even realize Palmacosta's been nuked.)
PostPosted: Wed Jan 23, 2008 9:19 pm


(I've got "White Tiger" from Disgaea 2 playing via Youtube. Let's rock.)

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--Millenium Falcon, Docking Bay 3.14159, Philadelphia, Earth Airspace
November 30, 2007 10:00 A.M.--

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Mia: Woohoo! We're riding into the Death Star on the Millenium Falcon! How cool is that!?

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Oscar: Pssh, my bankai is cooler than any... I mean, yeah. But it wouldn't have been cool if we hadn't all made it together, you know?

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Rolf: Just like Commander Greil said! We're family!

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Shinon: Don't overdo it, kid. Remember, we're also huge parties with more booze then you'll ever need. And badass because we have me. And lame because we have wittle Ikey.

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Boyd: Yak, yak, yak. Hey, old ladies! Let's get aboard!

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Ike: The Philadelphia Eagles went to a lot of trouble to help us.

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Titania: Yes. People on other planets can certainly be friendly.

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Ike: *Phew* Okay. It's time.

*Greil's Mercenaries board the Millenium Falcon. However...*

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James: *Dressed up as Princess Leia.* Oooh, hijacking the Millenium Falcon for Team Rocket! We'll be rich for sure!

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Jesse: *Dressed up as Han Solo. ...Um... she IS dressed as Han Solo. There. You've been Jedi mind-tricked.* I must admit Meowth, you've come a long way since your ideas to capture Pikachu!

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Meowth: *Dressed as Chewbacca* Rawwwwrf!

*Team Rocket boards the Millenium Falcon, which they use to blast off again.*

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Han Solo: *Arrives just as the Falcon takes off* Ahh, I needed that bathroom break! I haven't cleaned out the toilets on the Falcon since... hey! They're stealing my ship! Those... BLOODY PIRATES!! *Shakes his fist at the escaping ship.*

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 24, 2008 3:54 pm


(( Whoot! Team Rocket has arrived! XD Now pokemon's getting into the fray.))
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