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 Posted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:11 pm
Later that day...Adrian - April 23, 2006 There was a fight. A very long one involving Malachite and Crout. I don't know how Crout found out, but it doesn't matter at this point. He tore my beautiful boy apart with his slander.
It's my fault.
But even so, he crossed the line. He's no longer welcome in my -- or, rather, Kanth's -- home. I've told all the kids to shun him, until such time as he pulls his head out of his a** and gives Mal and I heartfelt apologies. I had a very hard time convincing Hana and Kaleb to NOT go and kick his a**. It wouldn't do any good. Malachite's just as good as either of them, and he lost. Whether he let his emotions get the better of him, I'm not sure, but I don't need another of my kids getting hurt by that... that boy.
After the fight and after Infi patched him up, Mal flew into an enraged tantrum at me. I've never seen him act like that, or heard him scream like that.
He said he hated me, that I'd proved someone right dispite all his fighting to protect me. I'm not sure what all that was about, other than our having sex last night. More on that, later.
I managed to get Malachite home on my own. He'd calmed down while Infi held him. He wouldn't let me touch him. I took him into the dojo and locked the door behind us. I let him fly back into that rage again, letting him hit and scream at me until he exhausted himself. Only then would he let me comfort him. I'm going to be sore for a while.
I deserve it. I did the most unthinkable, stupidest thing possible.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
It happened too soon, and under bad circumstances. If I'd waited a little longer, and if I'd been completely sober, then maybe there wouldn't have been as bad a stigma.
I should've known better.
I wasn't drunk. I was buzzed and tipsy, but not trashed. I knew what I was doing all throughout it.
No more. I'll never touch another drop.
Tomorrow, I'll see how bad off he is after a night's sleep. If I can't make things better between us... and maybe even if we do...
I'll see about getting them to new homes. I don't deserve any of them, not after what I've done. They'll be better off without me.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 2:40 pm
The next morning...
Malachite took his time in awakening, clinging to sleep for as long as possible before the soreness in his muscles pulled him back to consciousness. He cracked his eyes open, recognizing his surroundings as the room reserved as the mansion dojo. If he'd left his eyes closed and concentrated, he would've recognized the room by the soft, woody smell of the mats on the floor beneath him. The air in the room was cool, but a blanket had been placed over him sometime while he'd been asleep.
He was laying on his stomach, and rolled over onto his back, eyes adjusting easily to the dim light of the room.
It was then that he realized he wasn't alone.
Sitting beside him, Adrian was staring off at nothing, but Malachite was startled by his eyes. They seemed empty. They didn't even hold that peculiar glazed look to them when Adrian drank. He seemed withdrawn, defeated, just by his slouched posture.
It took several tries for Mal to get his voice. Even then, he could only speak just above a whisper. "Adrian?"
Adrian startled out of his thoughts, glancing down at the boy beside him with darkened eyes. "You're awake," he observed. "Are you thirsty?"
Mal tried to nod, but stopped and winced when the action caused pain to flare up in the back of his head. He remembered that Crout had banged it into the ground several times. "Hurts," he croaked.
Adrian reached for a bottle of water and a couple of pills beside him; he'd had them ready hours earlier in case Mal woke up. He helped Mal sit up before offering the water. The bottle was half-empty when Mal took the pills and washed them down with the remaining water.
They sat in silence for a minute before Adrian hesitantly asked, "Can we... talk?"
"Yeah," Mal said, leaning against Adrian's shoulder. The flesh of Adrian's arms, as well as his face, was mottled with dark bruises. Malachite could only assume that more bruises were hidden beneath his guardian's clothing. He knew he'd caused them, but he was sure he'd caused more damage than just physical. He could only vaguely remember some of the things he'd screamed at Adrian. "I said some pretty awful things yesterday, didn't I?" he asked quietly.
Adrian, on the other hand, remembered each and every one vividly, and had spent the night taking them to heart. "They weren't things I didn't deserve to hear," he replied.
Malachite whispered, "I'm sorry."
Adrian pulled away and turned so that he was facing Mal. "Let me get my apologies out of the way first," he said. He had a difficult time meeting Mal's eyes, and Mal had a hard time holding that empty gaze. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to talk to you before Crout got to you. Maybe if I had, things wouldn't have escalated the way they did. If he called you a slut, it wasn't true. Of the two of us, you're not the slut -- I am."
Malachite's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to argue, but Adrian held his hand up for silence. "I am, I'll admit it. Having three or four lovers at one time isn't exactly looked upon as decent behavior." He took a deep breath and tried to organise his next thought. "I don't... completely regret what we did," he said, "but I regret the circumstances and I regret how it affected you, yesterday. I didn't mean for it to end up hurting you the way it did."
"I was fine until Crout started being a b***h," Malachite grumbled. He'd regained some of his spark since the fight.
Adrian gave him a half-smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Tell me," he said, "do you regret what we did?"
"No," Malachite answered immediately. He paused before adding, "It may have been a mistake, but I don't regret it, whether you were trashed or sober."
"I wasn't trashed!" Adrian made a face, showing some of the first real emotion Mal had seen in him since he awoke.
"Crout's words, not mine," Mal said. He thought back to what else Crout had said the day before. "How quickly did you pass out, afterward?" he echoed.
The empty gaze was increasingly becoming replaced with one of hurt. "You fell asleep, first," Adrian whispered. "I stayed awake and watched you. And then, when I got uncomfortable, I carried you upstairs and put you to bed."
Malachite hadn't remembered that until Adrian mentioned it. He stared at his guardian with a growing feeling of guilt at having doubted him.
"Do you remember the last thing I said to you, before you fell asleep?" Adrian asked.
"'I love you,'" Mal replied.
Adrian nodded, turning his face away. "I meant it. I didn't say it because I was drunk; I said it because it was the truth. I never meant for things to turn out like this." He hid his eyes behind his hand and Malachite wrapped his arms around him as Adrian began to sob. "I don't deserve you," he said with a shudder. "I'm an unfit parent. No matter how you look at it, with the alcohol involved and your age involved, I raped you and that's inexcusable."
"You just said you didn't regret it," Malachite whispered.
"That doesn't make it right!" Adrian sounded like he was on the edge of hysteria and he buried his hands in his own hair. "Mal... I want you to be happy. If that means finding you a new home--"
"No!" Malachite cried as he untangled Adrian's hands from his hair and pulled him into a hug. "No! I forgive you, okay? I don't hate you! I didn't mean any of that! I am happy! I don't need another home! I need you!"
They spent the next several minutes crying and apologizing and clinging to each other in a manner most would've considered absurd, but the physical and emotional drain from the past two days quickly drove them to exhaustion.
"Are we... are we okay, now?" Adrian finally asked after they'd calmed down.7
"Yeah," Mal replied. "I think so."
"Need something to drink?"
"Definately."
"That means I have to get up."
Malachite made a face. "Do you hurt as much as I do?"
"Probably." Adrian let go of him and slowly got to his feet. He held his hand out to Malachite and pulled him up, drawing the boy into another hug as soon as he regained his balance. "Love you."
"Love you, too," Mal replied.
They waddled and stumbled toward the door and Adrian unlocked it. He wasn't surprised when three teenagers fell through the doorway and landed at his feet. "Eavesdroppers," he grumbled, nudging Kaleb, Hana, and Rayen with his foot.
Soco, dressed in his usual frilly maid outfit, was standing behind them, a tray with a teapot and cups in hand. "I brought tea!" he said cheerfully. At least he had an excuse for being there.
"Oi!" Kaleb called out from the bottom of the pile, "Before you start sending us off to new homes, don't ya think we should have a say in things?"
It had come out during their sob session that Adrian wanted to send the rest of the Karlet crew to new homes, as well, seeing as how he was so unfit to take care of them. "Err..." Adrian looked sheepish.
"Dun wanna go!" Rayen cried. He clung to Adrian's leg from where he was squished between Hana and Kaleb.
"Can we discuss this somewhere else?" Adrian finally suggested. "The kitchen? The dining room? Both?"
The three at his feet murmured their assent and they made their way into the dining room with Soco, Adrian, and Mal following behind.
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Posted: Mon Apr 24, 2006 3:01 pm
(( Yeah, the second half of the entry will go here when I stop being lazy. ))
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Posted: Sun Apr 30, 2006 9:33 am
After all that had happened, I decided to let the matter drop for a little while. Mal and I haven't been very close all week; things have been awkward between us. But it gave us time to recover and think about what had happened, and where to go from there. We still had a lot of loose ends to tie up with this whole mess.
I wasn't surprised when Malachite asked to talk to me this morning
We settled on one of the couches in the library, since Soco's really the only one of the crew who ventures in there. Malachite let me pull him into a cuddle, but he was still tense.
We sat like that in silence for a few minutes, before I asked, "What's up?"
"Just been thinking," he replied quietly. "You know, I figured out that of all the boys I know from the mansion, I was the first to ge... have sex with my guardian." He had started off trying to sound strong, but hesitated in the middle of it. I could only assume that he'd changed his wording at the last second.
In any case, this admission caused me to flinch. "Uh-huh."
"I don't know if I should be proud of that, or not."
"Probably not," I replied. I started playing with his hair. "It's not something I'm proud of, either."
"Have you noticed... everyone outside our mansion has been treating us differently?"
I frowned. "Yeah..."
He sighed and pulled away to look me in the eye. "We can't fix this, can we?" he whispered.
That sad look and that statement struck me with guilt. "No... we can't take it back," I told him. "But we can keep it from getting worse."
Mal nodded, and then frowned. "What does it matter? Even if we never do anything again, they'll still look at us funny because of that one time."
"There's too much at stake, here, Mal. Even for that one time, I could get arrested and you could be taken away. Best not to make the situation worse than it already is."
"What happens in the house, stays in the house, right?" he suggested.
I shook my head. "It doesn't matter... I don't want to put you in that situation, again, anyway. Don't you understand that you're not old enough to consent? I don't want to back you into a corner again."
His expression almost turned angry, and it looked as though he'd argue. But then he let out another sigh. "Yeah," he said, "and though I love you, I don't... love you. Not like that, at least, for now. So..."
I shrugged. "So, we won't have sex again."
"Is that okay?" he asked, looking unsure.
"Yes, it is completely okay."
He paused and gave me his puppy-dog-look. "No sex again, ever?"
I raised an eyebrow at him, and he just started giggling. "If, when you're older, you want to try this again, we'll see," I said, maintaining my composure. "But what I'd really like is for you to check out other boys -- or girls -- and see how things go with them."
Mal wrinkled his nose. "I like boys, Dad."
"So I noticed. Just figured I'd be P.C. and add 'girls' in there."
"Well, don't." He sat back and looked thoughtful for a few moments. "You..." he hesitated and tried his question again, "You weren't... You didn't do it just because..."
I looked at him expectantly and waited for him to get his question out. When he finally shook his head and gave up, I asked, "What is it that's bothering you? Was it something Crout said?"
He nodded, and hid his face from me. "It... wasn't just what he said that's bothering me," he murmured. "He said something that reminded me of something someone else said when I was little."
It took a moment to digest that statement, but I managed to get the jist of it. "You said I proved 'him' right," I reminded him. "Was there another 'he' you were you referring to?"
He nodded again. "Samsara," he whispered. "He once told me that you'd... that you'd find a better use for me. And when Crout pointed out that I'd just been a pretty piece of a**... I couldn't take it. I'd tried so hard to keep what Samsara said from coming true, but--"
I pulled him into a tight hug. "No!" I insisted, shaking my head, "You mean so much more to me than just your looks! I never wanted to use you like that, and I never meant for you to see it that way!"
He'd begun to cry, again. "It's so hard," he murmured into my shoulder. "I can't stop hearing them. I remember what they both said, and their voices... they're stuck in my head. Samsara's has been there ever since, and whenever I ******** something up, his voice calls me on it and laughs at me for it. Now, Crout's is there, too, reminding me what a slut I am whenever I'm alone."
"Don't listen to them," I hissed, my grip tightening on him. "They're wrong. All those voices will do is bring you down, and they'll do it everytime. If you can't let go of them, you have to ignore them. Do you hear my voice? Ever?"
He paused, and I could feel the soft smile against my shirt. "Sometimes..."
"Then, listen to my voice," I said. "And listen to any other positive voices you hear, too. No matter how small they are, you have to focus on them instead of the negative ones. If it'll help strengthen my voice in your mind, you can always come to me and I'll give it some ammo."
"Ammo?" he asked.
"Things for you to remember that I said. Like, 'you're beautiful,' 'you're smart,' 'you're sweet.' There are so many good things about you that are true that they outweigh any of the crap those other voices could say."
"I'll try to remember," Mal whispered. He finally began to relax in my arms. "Thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Adrian?"
"Yes?"
"You're squishing me."
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Posted: Fri May 12, 2006 4:38 pm
Malachite - May 12, 2006 Eeeee~ omgomgomgomg~
Tristin's coming to live with us! TristinTristin!
I asked Dad if he could stay in my room, but he said no. It's totally unfair because Esty gets to stay in Kaleb's room whenever he's over. But okay, whatever, yay! Tristin!
He also said that Tristin might be a little different, where we haven't seen each other for a long while and he's had a rough time with stuff at home. I hope he's okay. I want things to be like they used to be, if not better. But, yay! Tristin!
... I wonder how he'll react if he finds out about what happened between me and Adrian.
And when did I start calling Adrian "Dad?"
... Tristin!
I haven't had candy today, nope. Promise.
Oh, yeah! Pagent-party-thingy tonight! Adrian says we'll get Tristin tomorrow, so I don't really want to stay out too late. It's all so exciting! I haven't seen everyone in so long!
Time to go!
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Posted: Fri May 19, 2006 7:34 pm
"I'm home~" Malachite called from the front door -- even though he knew he probably wouldn't be heard from beyond the first floor. He kicked off his boots (after properly untying them, of course) and left them on a nearby mat to dry. There had been a lot of rain lately, and everyone had done their best not to track mud into the house for Soco's sake.
He bounded up the stairs, his backpack jostling as he went. Mal tossed the back over in the general direction of his door before peeking inside the room that had been reserved for Tristin. The boy wasn't there, so Mal continued his way down the hall. If Adrian was home, he would be...
"Hey Adrian," he said as he stuck his head into his guardian's bedroom. Sure enough, the man was sitting slouched forward against his desk. Without waiting for a greeting, the teenager began babbling, "Did you get that information from Tristin's old school? I told Mr. Ferguson that he'd be getting a new student, and I told him about him. Depending on how far Trist got at his other school he might even be put in my---"
Adrian held his hand up. "Malachite."
The boy stopped and blinked at his guardian. "Uh-oh, what happened?" he said, realizing that the slumped posture wasn't just from being tired.
"I ******** up," came the reply. Adrian didn't raise his head.
Mal slid up onto the desk beside Adrian and started playing with his hair. "Sou ka?" he said. He'd begun slipping into Japanese every once in a while, and he blamed it on the family's obsession with anime.
"Sou desu."
"Hontou ni?"
"Hontou niii."
"Tell me about it, then," Mal said.
His guardian sighed heavily. "Tristin... wasn't supposed to come here," he said, words not quite muffled by the desk beneath his face. "Mr. Nothing and I didn't go through the process right, so... he can't stay here."
There was a pause as Malachite processed this. "O-oh..."
"He's already left," Adrian continued. "He left earlier today, and said he felt bad about not being here when you got home. But you'll still get to see him, at some point. It's just... not likely he'll get to live with us."
"Oh."
Adrian reached for the hand that wasn't playing with his hair. "'m sorry, babe. I didn't expect this to happen."
Mal nodded. "It's... not your fault. Not completely, at least. There wasn't anything you could've done, right?"
Adrian snorted. "Insulting the people who came to take him back didn't help matters any."
"Dad!"
"Sorry... told you, I ******** up."
Malachite sighed, fingers still busy in his guardian's hair. "You feel really bad about this, don't you?"
"Disappointed you and made a fool of myself."
"I'll be fine," the boy said stubbornly. "Quit being hard on yourself."
"Can't help it." Adrian withdrew his hand and used it to pillow his forehead. "Just been doing really stupid things lately. I can't figure out how to stop."
"So you've been making mistakes. Weren't you the one who told me I wasn't perfect and all that?"
"I might've mentioned that, yeah."
"Well, you're not perfect either, no matter how hard you try to be. So stop trying so hard."
Adrian snorted again and shook his head. "Can't help it," he repeated.
Malachite leaned over and gave Adrian a hug. "Try, anyway," the teen said. "And stop beating yourself up over Tristin. If it works out, it works out. If it doesn't, it doesn't. It would've been fun to have him live here, but..." He shrugged. "It might be better this way."
"If you say so," Adrian said with another sigh, relaxing into the hug.
"I say so."
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Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 6:40 pm
Malachite - May 22, 2006 I'm having a moral dilemma type thing. See, I watch Dr. Phil -- that's not the dilemma, shhh -- and today they had a show about child sexual predators. They had an ex-cop go undercover to reveal a predator, and they exchanged some explicit conversation. Part of the conversation had the predator talking to the cop about how to... you know, get the girls started. (The ex-cop said he had three daughters, and the predator had a daughter of his own that he molested.)
So, anyway, I watched the show and couldn't help but think about me and Adrian.
And I can't say that all the thoughts were innocent, which makes me feel a little dirty. I mean, the day after, I didn't feel guilty. But apparently, I'm supposed to feel guilty and dirty and crap, so now I do. And it kind of sucks. I almost want to talk to him about it, but it'd just be weird.
I mean... I don't know what I mean. Maybe I've got a fetish/kink (which is which?) for older guys, or people in authority. I still kind of have a crush on Mr. Ferguson, after all. That's never gone away. But the whole "Daddy" thing...
Uhm...
Maybe the incident just warped my mind and sexuality in a way that it shouldn't have. "Shouldn't have" being what is/isn't acceptable. But my body still doesn't seem to give a damn what society thinks is or isn't acceptable. I guess that's the problem. Silly body, tricks are for... er... hookers?
That made no sense, but that's okay, this is my journal.
Yes, goddamnit I'm attracted to my father-figure. And I think he's attracted to me, too, so what's the problem? There's that age thing, but so what?
I am NOT listening to Samsara or Crout's voices. No. They can go
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Posted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 8:33 am
Malachite - June 15, 2006 Well, this is weird.
I ended up walking in on Adrian and Soco having a conversation in the library. Soco was in his lap and talking about wanting him. But Adrian wouldn't do anything with him, mostly because of me and what happened with me. Soco's older than me, but still not old enough, and Adrian doesn't want to risk people finding out that he still likes teenage boys.
And he still knows that I like him like that. I don't know how, but he does. Maybe I'm too obvious. I don't know. But that was another reason why he didn't want to do Soco.
Then Soco suggested we all get together and have a threesome.
That's kinda weird. I'd never thought of it, but okay, whatever.
Technically, Adrian's not "mine" to share. I already share him with whats-his-face who doesn't come around much any more (he's the one Adrian's always angsting over, and that pisses me off). So, it's not really up to me as to whether or not he and Soco can get together, but they're making it seem that way. I guess it's kinda cool that they're considering how I feel about it.
Except I don't exactly know how I feel about it. Like what if Adrian likes Soco more than me? And what if they spend most of their time together and leave me out of the picture? That would just suck and defeat the whole purpose of sharing.
... Oh, yeah. And there was that bit about he and I being able to... do stuff together until we're both of age to do stuff with Adrian. That's... kind of weird, too. I don't know how I'd feel about doing Soco.
Well, anyway. Soco and I are finally gonna get to go clubbing, and we'll get to know each other better, and see what happens from there.
... It's still weird.
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Posted: Tue Jun 20, 2006 1:45 pm
It wasn't too long after the incident between Soco and Adrian that Malachite began to have... very different thoughts and feelings about the whole situation. He also found himself trying to deal with new worries -- ones that transcended sex.
He decided that it just wasn't worth his time and energy to worry about sex, at the moment. Thus, he sought out his guardian, who was, once again, trying to do work in the library.
"Dad?"
Adrian glanced up, a small pair of reading glasses perching on his nose. He noticed how perturbed Malachite seemed, and gestured him into the library. "What's up?"
"I think we need to start over," the teen said, walking in and plopping himself in his guardian's lap. He wrapped his arms around Adrian's neck and hid his face there.
Adrian frowned and wrapped his arms around the boy. "Start over? How come?"
"I'm confused. And messed up."
"Confused, maybe. Why do you think you're messed up?"
Malachite sighed. "Like... I like you. But that whole lust thing seems to be going away. But I already said--"
"Stop just for a second," Adrian interrupted. "If you've fallen out of lust for me, that's fine. You're not under any obligation to do anything. I'd rather you didn't lust after me, because we've seen how well that's been working out."
Mal nodded and relaxed. "Good... I just want to be able to cuddle and stuff like we used to, without worrying about all that other crap."
"Same here."
"Should I call off my date with Soco?"
Adrian shrugged. "It doesn't have to be a date. Just go and hang out together."
"Oh..." Malachite blinked and wondered why he hadn't thought of that. "Okay. Now that that's over with, I've got other stuff I'm worried about."
Adrian shifted position a little so that his legs didn't fall asleep under Mal's weight. "And what are these things that are troubling you?"
"I don't know what I wanna do with my life," Mal said, then added, "like, for a job or something."
"And you're worried about it, now?"
"Yeah, 'cause everyone at school has started talking about it. I just don't know what to do when I get out."
"Well, what do you like to do?" Adrian asked. "You like crystal healing. That's starting to gain popularity."
"Yeah," Malachite said, looking thoughtful. "There's also a big demand for masse... ma... people who give massages."
"Mm." Adrian nodded. "So you've a few things you could look into and see if you want to make a career out of them."
"That brings up another thing."
"Goodness, what now?"
Malachite paused. "Do you... want me to move out? Not right away, but at some point?"
The guardian blinked, but took a moment to seriously consider the question. "You don't have to move out," he said. "I think you might want to, since it's not too cool to be living with your parents after school, and I'll probably start driving you crazy. But no, you're welcome to stay here as long as you want to. I won't kick you out, unless I move and there's not enough room for all of us."
"Good," Malachite said with a sigh of relief. "That's one less thing I have to worry about."
"Don't get stressed out about all of it right now," Adrian said, fingers playing in Mal's hair. "Take one thing at a time, one day at a time. It'll all fall into place."
"There's one more thing."
"What's that?"
"My voice has finished changing."
Adrian stared. "And...?"
"I can't sing like Amy Lee, anymore," Malachite whined. He pouted and did his best to look as pitiful as possible.
"What do you want me to do about it?!" Adrian said, puzzled by the expression.
"That's why I said we need to start over." Malachite nuzzled at his guardian's neck. "I don't wanna grow up."
"You don't want to grow up if it means you can't sing like Amy Lee?"
"Exactly."
"... You are one strange child."
"What can I say?" Malachite said, pulling away and smiling. "I'm a product of my environment."
Adrian muttered, "You're a product of something, alright, but I don't think it's your environment."
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Posted: Thu Jun 29, 2006 8:08 pm
(( Continued from here: http://www.gaiaonline.com/guilds/viewtopic.php?page=1&t=1378579#68342926 )) Changing into the next outfit proved to be slightly difficult for poor Malachite. As a result of Soco's outfit and outrageous flirting, he was left with a rather unfortunate problem. There was no time to take care of it, however, so he did his best to squeeze himself into the already too-tight pair of jeans. Once that obstacle was overcome, he put the rest of his clothes on very carefully, trying to ignore it.
After putting on plenty of silver jewelry and giving his hair and make up a quick check, he grabbed his cellphone and some money before dashing down the stairs.
He heard murmuring coming from the dining room, so he peeked his head in and saw Soco and Adrian sitting at the table. They both looked up.
"Hey there, gorgeous," Adrian said, tiredness seeping into his speech.
"Hey," Mal said, walking over and giving his guardian a hug. "Are you gonna be okay, tonight? I can stay home if you want me to."
"Nonono," Adrian argued. "Go and have a good time. Don't worry about me, or I'll ruin your evening."
Malachite pouted. "Meh, okay. Hope you start feeling better, soon."
"I'll be fine," the man insisted. "Soco's making me go away for the weekend."
"I am not!" the maid squawked.
"At least somebody is," Malachite chuckled. "You need a vacation."
"Oh, so you're not just trying to make me go away?" Adrian said with a hint of amusement.
"Noooo," Malachite whined. "Never. Never go away."
Adrian's expression went sad again, but he replied, "Okay. I'll do my best." He kissed Malachite's forehead before shooing him away. "Go on, you want to get there before they close."
"They close at Midnight," Soco said. "If we don't leave early, we'll be home by 12:30."
Adrian nodded. "Alright. Malachite?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Soco," Adrian said, tone serious once again. "Be careful. And if you need anything, anytime at all, you call me."
"I will!" Malachite chirped, giving Adrian another hug before walking to the door. "Soco~ let's go!"
"I'm coming," the maid said as he rose from his chair. He gave Adrian a quick bow before following Malachite out of the room, and then out of the mansion to the street.
~*~
Since Soco knew where the club was, he led the way with Malachite bounced along beside him. It was Mal's first time going to a club, after all, and he was quite excited.
"What is it like there?" Mal asked.
"Loud and dark," Soco replied. "But they often have light shows, and they'll have glow-in-the-dark things for sale. It'll be nice and cool, so long as the A/C doesn't quit on them."
"That would suck," Malachite said, making a face. "I hope the people on the dancefloor bathe."
"You and me, both."
They walked along in realitive silence, each lost in their own thoughts. In the back of their minds, they were both concerned about Adrian. Malachite, as had seemed to be the case for the past few weeks, had other worries, as well. He hadn't seen or heard from Tristin or Aponi for a while, now, and he missed them. He thought it would've been fun if they'd all gone to the club together, as a group. "Do you think we should've invited anyone else to go with us?" he asked Soco.
"We could have," Soco said. "Or, if you've people in mind, they can come along, next time."
"Ohh, next time," Mal murmured, already considering the thought. "That would be fun..."
They both jumped as a car blew its horn behind them, then drove past, several teenage boys inside cat-calling at them.
"Assholes," Malachite hissed, glaring at the car as it drove away.
"Anybody you know?" Soco asked.
"Guys from school." Mal shrugged. "Nobody I know."
They finally reached the club and Soco paid to get them inside. Malachite nearly squealed in excitement. The bass of the music pounded in his ears and his eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light, allowing him to take in his surroundings. There was, of course, a bar and a dancefloor, as well as several tables and booths set up around the room. There were already quite a few teenagers there, but no one had bothered getting up and dancing, yet.
"This is awesome!" Malachite said, clinging to Soco's arm. "What first?"
Soco chuckled. "Would you like a drink?"
"Yeah!" Malachite tugged him over to the bar and hopped up on a stool. "Excuse me," he said to the tender, "can I get a beer?"
The bartender snorted. "No."
"Even if I have ID?"
"Not even if you have ID," the man replied. "We don't serve alcohol on teen nights, and you don't look even close to being old enough to have an ID."
"Aww, okay," Mal said. "Then I'll just have a water."
"That, I can do."
Soco watched the exchange with an amused smirk. "What?" he asked Mal, "you didn't believe me?"
"I just wanted to be sure," the younger teen said. He thanked the bartender and sipped at his water while Soco ordered a soda. "I know most kids our age are into that sort of thing... but I'm not."
"That's good," Soco replied. "Neither am I. Do you remember GD at all?"
"No, other than that time at the beauty pagent."
"He's always drunk like that. Sometimes it's funny, but most of the time it's just ridiculous."
"Mmhmm." Malachite nodded. "I'm sure."
They sat and sipped their drinks silently. The silence was only a little bit awkward; neither of them were big talkers as it was, and they both knew how to sit and enjoy one's company without speaking.
(( Continued below. ))
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Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 8:23 am
Soco finally broke the silence. "Hey, Mal. Not that I really have any place to ask this, but... why do you wear so much make up and girl's clothes? I'm just curious."
Malachite peered at him over the rim of his glass and shrugged before setting the glass back down. "It's something I've always done," he explained, "ever since I was a kid. Adrian was okay with it... he explained it to me once that it didn't matter whether people wore boy's clothes or girl's clothes... they're just clothes.
"I guess I wanted to show people that what he said was true -- that it didn't matter. So I've dressed like this, ever since. I don't know how much good it's done, if it's really affected anyone, but that hasn't stopped me."
"So it's not because you secretly want to be a girl or anything like that?" Soco looked amused. He didn't believe that was the case at all, but it didn't hurt to ask.
"No." Mal shook his head, braids hitting against his cheeks. "I mean, girls are okay... and I've wondered what it might be like to have actual boobs to wear corsets with." He glanced down at his chest and poked at the corset he was wearing. "But I've never really thought of being a girl. Just... a girly boy." He shrugged again. "Does that make sense?"
"I suppose so," Soco mused, playing with the straw in his soda. He looked thoughtful as he stared at Malachite. "I was just wondering what you'd look like without all that make up and the braids and whatnot..."
Mal tilted his head to one side. "You've seen me without makeup in the morning."
"That's not quite the same. Not to mention you have the tendency not to come down for breakfast until your appearance is perfect," Soco teased.
The other teen chuckled softly. "I suppose you're right. Maybe I'll try it for a day... see if I like it or not."
"It might be an interesting change from the Malachite we're used to seeing."
"Ohh?" Malachite murmured, finishing off his water and asking the bartender for another. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Soco smirked. "I'll leave it up to you to interpret it however you want."
"Yeah, well, you suck," Mal grumbled and stuck his tongue out at Soco, who burst into snickers.
By this point, the club had started to fill with teenagers, and many of them had started making their way to the dance floor -- that is, after stopping by a corner of the bar to buy glow sticks, glow bracelets, glow necklaces, and anything else that was glowy.
A line of teenagers who had just stopped at that particular corner filed past the two boys. "Look, glowy," Malachite said as he pointed to their necklaces and bracelets (etc.).
Soco nodded and dug some money out of his pocket. "Want me to get you some?"
"Sure," Mal said, handing over what little money he had brought.
The other teen waved it off. "I got it."
Malachite made a face. "You can't treat me for everything!" he complained.
"Sure, I can," Soco said with a smile. He hopped down from his barstool and waded in the direction of the glowy things.
Malachite grumbled and stuffed the money back in his pocket. While Soco was gone, he had the chance to look around the club with a more critical eye, taking in details that he hadn't noticed at first glance.
It was while he was lost in thought and careful observation that someone slipped into the seat that had previously been Soco's. "Malachite?"
Startled, the teen looked up. "Mr. Ferguson?!" he cried. "What are you doing here?"
The man smiled at him -- that same gorgeous smile that always made Mal melt inside. "I work here part-time," he explained, "but I'm on break at the moment. What are you doing here? Out on a date with a girlfriend?"
Malachite snorted. "No, I'm here with a friend. He and I are just hanging out."
Ferguson nodded. "How've things been since school let out?"
"Things've been..." Mal hesitated. "I don't know. They've been off and on for a while. I've been fine for the most part, but Adrian hasn't been doing so well."
"I see." The man looked thoughtful and leaned in so that Mal could hear him better. "I know he means a lot to you," he said as he rested a hand on Mal's thigh. "If you ever need someone to talk to, I'd be more than willing to listen."
Malachite glanced down at the hand before meeting Ferguson's eyes again. "That's... nice of you to offer, but I think I'll be okay."
The man smiled again. "I'm sure you will." Malachite twitched as the hand started moving up and down his leg. Ferguson leaned in closer to his ear and said, "You always were one of my favorite students. Always so independent."
"O-oh?" Mal squirmed and glanced past Ferguson at the line for the counter. He couldn't see Soco anywhere.
"I'm sorry I never had a chance to get to know you better," the man murmured.
Malachite froze as Ferguson began nibbling at the shell of his ear. The attention brought back a familiar, paralyzing fear. The sensations were pleasurable; the person, attractive. He hadn't felt this way since...
And that had caused all sorts of problems, all because he hadn't fought back. Because he'd been too caught in the moment to fight back.
SHIIIIIIT! He pushed the man off of him. "Stop it!" he hissed. "What the hell--?"
"Hey, hey, shhh," Ferguson said, cupping the teen's face in his hands. "I didn't mean to scare you."
Mal jerked his head away, and brushed those hands off of him. He slipped off the stool and into the crowd, and put as much space between him and the man as possible. He made a wide loop over to the line for the counter, and finally caught sight of Soco. The other teen had just finished paying and was glancing around, hands full of goodies.
Malachite waded over to Soco and clung to his arm, tugging him away from the bar. Soco followed along, waiting until they'd stopped at a table to speak. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"N-nothing," Mal said. He glanced over at the bar, but Ferguson had already left. "Just... didn't want to sit at the bar, anymore."
"Uh-huh." Soco gave him a skeptical look, but didn't push. "Here, I got these for you." He handed him a couple bracelets and a necklace, as well as glowsticks in -- of course -- green, purple, and blue.
"Thank you!" Malachite smiled and gave Soco a quick hug before snapping the glowsticks into life.
"Your hands are shaking," Soco observed aloud.
Mal nodded, but said nothing.
(( Yep, still more to come. Up next, the boys finally get to dance. ))
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Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:37 pm
(( Temporary Hiatus Notice:
I'll be gone Thursday, June 13, until Sunday, June 16, because of my trip to New York (summer registration at my college).
As I said in Soco's journal, I'm working on finishing up the RP with Mal and Soco. Please be patient and I'll do my best to have it up after I get home.
Thank you verrah much,
~ A. V. Karlet ))
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 11:50 am
Malachite - July 26, 2006 It's been a while since I've journaled, hasn't it?
Soco and I went clubbing, not too long ago, and that was good. Unfortunately, Mr. Ferguson was there and hitting on me, and that was bad. So I ran away and danced with Soco (and ended up kissing him), and THAT'S GOOD. Except Mr. Ferguson came over and kicked us out, and implied that we could stay if only I did him a favor. So I HIT him and we ran away, and that was good.
Clubbing is fun, but we won't be going back to that one anytime soon. And hopefully we can find one far, far away from yaoi fangirls. Sheesh.
I told Adrian about what had happened. He was pretty pissed off at Mr. Ferguson, but he seemed to be okay with how I handled it. Not every parent would be proud of their son breaking their ex-teacher's nose. But Adrian was glad I was okay, and seemed proud of me for not letting him push me around, so that made me proud of myself, too.
And then Adrian threw me this awesome birthday party! ^_^ There were lots of new faces, and not so many old ones, but that was okay. I made new friends (Macyn, Hobo, and a bunch of little girls -- I think they'll be more of Soco's friends than mine, HA. XD) and everyone seemed to have a good time. And I got presents, of course. But I was more excited about the people, heh.
We finally got Adrian to go and take a vacation. Not sure where he's going, but he's not allowed back into the mansion for a few days. He's allowed to call and check in, of course.
I'm thinking that when he gets back, he and I are gonna go see... a counselor-person. Because we need help. I love him to death, really, but he's so full of guilt and upset that he's, like, scared to love me the way he used to.
Nothing's gotten better or worse since "the incident;" it's just at an unhealthy stand-still and it needs to change.
Well, okay, maybe things have gotten worse for him. He's always been a moody son-of-a, but lately he's just been depressed. That's part of the reason why we've kicked him out, and why we need to go do that whole counseling thing.
That reminds me, Makenna's at some treatment center type place and believes everyone hates them. I need to give him a call and see what all that s**t is about. I haven't seen or heard from him in a while, but I sure as heck don't hate him.
There's a new boy in the house -- he came just before my birthday. His name is Than, and he's this adorable little blond-haired preteen kid. The only thing is he doesn't talk at all. Adrian thinks he might have what Hana-chan did, when he first met her: glossophobia -- the fear of speaking. Or something like that. Hopefully he'll get over it. Communication via grunting only goes so far.
I've been studying Japanese a lot over the summer, and so everyone calls me a Japanophile. Weird name, but okay. It's only driving everyone a little crazy. If it got really bad, then, well, I'd see about stopping.
I've also been doing more research on crystal healing, reiki, and massage therapy. I might try and get a certificate in massage, just so I can have something and get a job with it. If I go into reiki, I can work my way up to the "master" level and be able to teach others how to do it.
I've always been really good at healing. It's like... instinct. The crystals just made it more interesting.
Sooo... yes. I have things to do and jobs to find.
Ohhh, yeah, and I made another friend this summer! Well, actually, I'd met him once before, a long, long while ago, but we didn't do much together then. His name is Archard, and it's funny how we met this summer. He and Soco literally bumped into each other on the street. What's funny is that Soco was, like, BOOM, and he had a crush on him. It's kinda cute.
And Soco's a good kisser, by the way. I'll have to remember to tell Archard that, one of these days. >)
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Posted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 7:53 am
Malachite - July 30, 2006 Mmkay, time for some more rambling.
I have two new loves: Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Chest, and the Phantom of the Opera.
Back when the first Pirates of the Carribean movie came out, I loved it. Maybe it was because of my age, but it was such a cool "adventure" story, I just couldn't help but be fascinated by it. (I was also too young to notice the poor acting skills of one Orlando Bloom, and how poor the story actually was.)
I also thought Capt. Jack Sparrow was hot. Shh, don't tell anybody.
We went and saw Dead Man's Chest, again. The first time through was awesome -- I felt like I was a kid, again. (We also had bought a box of Junior Mints. Mmmm, I forgot how good those things are.) But anyway, watching it the second time helped me link things together more and set the story a little bit more firmly in my mind. I understood the witch-doctor-lady better the second time through. I still hate that freakin' monkey, and the native-guy appearing out of the tree only jumped me a little bit. ^^;
I still think Capt. Jack Sparrow is hot. So much so, I'm going to go shell out a few bucks to buy a poster and hang it on my wall.
We stayed until the end of the credits, and I couldn't help but want to get up and dance to the music. If I didn't care what I looked like in front of other people, I would dance to almost anything. The music they had at the end was orchestral and a pipe organ -- that's the best I can explain it. But it was so good, it was nearly orgasmic.
That's just my opinion, anyway. Ahem.
Right, so, before we went and saw Dead Man's Chest, we finally bought the Phantom of the Opera movie and watched it. And I watched it again, by myself, a couple of times. More lovely music. And I love the Phantom's voice. The costumes were really cool, too. I think Aponi would like the movie, if he hasn't seen it yet. It seems kind of like his style of thing. I need to get in touch with him, one of these days.
Hmm, whatelse to ramble about...
I'm still working on finding places to properly learn massage and reiki. The Internet's been good for the basics, but I just want to make sure my techniques won't hurt anybody (myself or my clients). I've tried practicing on just about everyone in the house, and they've all enjoyed it, so I must be doing something right. I've found a "college" that I can enroll in to get that certificate for massage therapy, so that's what I'm working on.
Something I've been doing ever since I can remember is taking my crystals and making them into jewelry. I've made so many that it's almost ridiculous. ^^; I think I'll keep some sets for healing people, but the rest I'm thinking I'll try and sell them.
It would be really cool if I had my own little center for healing people, and I could sell the jewelry. Mmyes, sounds like a good little plan. ^_^
At least all this thinking and planning is getting my mind off of other things. That's good. I've wasted enough energy on them. It's about time I found something to replace them.
I miss Adrian, though. He called once, and he seemed to be doing okay. I hope he finds something to replace the things he's been wasting energy on, too.
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Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 7:21 pm
Malachite - August 21, 2006 I've got lots of good news!
Adrian finally came home a few days ago. He seems to be doing a little bit better. Not completely better, but better than he was. I've already made our appointment, but I haven't told him about it, yet. I don't know how he'll react to it, really. But the lady I talked to sounded really nice, so here's hoping he'll be okay with it.
Once he got back, we all went down to the beach and did some beachcombing. It was so much fun; I wish we'd done more of that, this summer! We found lots of seaglass and pieces of pottery. The big pieces, I'm gonna see if I can drill holes in them and add them to my necklaces. The smaller pieces, we've put into small bottles and have put them here and there around the house.
The next bit of good news is that I've found a place where I can learn and practice massage therapy, and earn money all at the same time! Yes! I have a sortofkindof job, now!
And I've started up an eBay account to sell jewelry. Maybe, someday, I'll get a website, but for now, I'll use eBay. I've already sold a couple of pieces for really big money!
One of my birthday presents, from Adrian, was driving lessons, and those are just about done. I think I'm a pretty good driver. A defensive one, but a good one. The next big thing is to actually get myself a car.
On a completely unrelated note: my hair's getting really long, so I've lengthened my purple and blue streaks. They go from the roots, all the way down to the tips. I've been keeping it back in one big braid, just to keep it out of my face.
I haven't gone shopping in a long while. This must be remedied, as soon as possible! (I saved up all of my birthday money, instead of spending it, which makes me kind of proud of myself. A while ago, Adrian took me to the bank to get a checking account, so that's where my money's been sitting, instead of burning holes in my pockets. ^^; )
But, yes, I've been busybusy and can't help but feel things are getting better and better. Knock on wood!
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