Welcome to Gaia! ::

Thanks. I like this place. Very welcoming.

Hey Auro...Welcome!!! Try not to be nervous...just act like it s still when you guys were first dating, and get busy...and don't forget-Sex is supposed to be fun...so HAVE FUN!!! Hope to get to know you and your wife soon..Good luck!

Ok, well I guess my post that I spent 20 minutes on got eaten last night. Anyway...

I'm not a father yet. But I'll pass on stuff that I've found out from researching and observing. There are quite a few things that the male can do, even though I know quite a bit of advice is for the female.

First, make sure that you eat healthy and get exercise. When your body is in good condition it performs better. You both feel like "do"ing more and can physically "do" it more as well.

Make sure that your first session is at least 3-5 days before ovulation. This helps get rid of the sperm that your body has produced that is almost at their "useful shelf life." The reason why you want to do it so far before ovulation is that there are several different varieties of sperm (this is from TLC). Most of the varieties are "guardian sperm" which help prevent the natural passage of sperm that come along later. This is usually done by just swimming in circles or something like that. So if you get rid of your used up sperm early and let them die you can use your fresh ones when it counts without them being "guarded" against.

If you can, try to switch to boxers. Some guys (and I'm included) think that they are uncomfortable. But consider this. Briefs keep the testes closer to the body and therefore keep the sperm at a higher temperature. The average increase in temperature is 2 degrees C. This is enough to shorten the "useful shelf life" of your sperm.

Don't go overboard with trying to correct past bad habits. An example would be to switch to a freon-based underpants. Just a joke, I know, but not too far from other things that I've heard that some men do to help out. So just use your head.

Try different things to keep you from getting bored. Positions, locations, role-play, etc. I know you may be doing this anyway, but include communication with all of this. Be sure that niether one of you feel uncomfortable, bored, embarrised or in pain from anything. That won't help anyone with getting relaxed.

And this is the biggest thing I've learned.

Be honest about things. If you feel like you are being forced into something like it is a job instead of something you want to do, then it will make you tense or less able to perform. Don't feel like you have to do something at exactly 6:32 pm on Tuesday. If you get to feeling that way, this is what I suggest. Take the rest of the month off. Start back the next month with just having fun and without monitoring. Things will come easier if you don't feel comfortable. Chalk it up to the male ego. We always want to be in control. Feeling like we are forced into something kind of makes us feel like we are not (even if you are wanting the outcome).

Anyway, these are what I've learned. But then again (as I have aforementioned) I am not a father yet. Let me know anything that you come up with.

The main thing is not to get too stressed if it doesn't happen right away. There is only a 75-85% success rate within the first year for couples trying. So let the baby come in its own time. Just have fun. This is a time that you and your spouse can physically enjoy eachother more than you already have.

Are you meaning she doesn't know you Biblically? xp

redface

Well, to be technical...I had a miscarriage in January of 2003...Then from June 2003 we tried, and I got it in July 2003 *on my bday*