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I'd give both of them a firm fork to the privates! ><

When a girl has a bad relationship, her mother should be there to comfort her, not to threaten to disown her.

My mom is like that, before she wasn't AS bad because she was overweight too but then she lost weight and is now a size 6 so she brings it up all the time now. It really hurts me or makes me mad. "you can't do that, youre too heavy" she makes it sound like i have cancer...

She also feels the need to make me feel like like crap constanly by calling me selfish, a b***h,etc. Ir threatens to kick me out of the house over nothing. Bu yet as a 20year old I have No freedom.

The weight is only the tip of the ice berge for my problems.

My mom lost a bit of weight, she's a bit shorter than me and a slightly smaller build, although we do look similar. She used to try to tell me in arguements about my weight that she was smaller than me and that such and such didn't fit right... but half the time her arguement was because it was tight on my chest and not hers... I'm a D cup and she's a B, I think. She's stopped getting on me about my weight, I think because I got a boyfriend who she can tell loves me a lot... it was mostly about looks for her, and I think she thought nobody could get a boyfriend if they're fat.

My mom calls me selfish all the time, too. And lazy. And she kept telling everybody I dropped out of college because I'm lazy. I really had panic attacks and was at the point of killing myself, I wouldn't go to classes because I was terrified of what'd happen. I'd get dressed so my roomate would think I'd gone to class. I've told her this, she insists I was just lazy and never tried taking me to a doctor. I know we don't have much money, but we had insurance and I asked her multiple times, then once she said had I asked nicely she would've done it... but I did. She even said once "Sadie, why do you keep up with this lie?" and I screamed at her that why would anybody be stupid to try to keep up a lie for over a year when it's obvious their own mother won't believe them and that it wasn't like admitting it would get me punished. Then I called my grandmother crying to her asking why my mom couldn't believe me when my brother, mother and grandfather all had depression. I went back, managed to make pretty good grades while working as much as possible and also still having panic attacks (I've learned to force my way through them, and they're not as strong as they used to be for the most part) but I can't afford to go back this semester. Even though I'm putting money away, I have to use it in emergencies so I only have $150 saved... so it doesn't look like I'll be able to for awhile.

She threatens to kick me out, over stupid things, too. But never does it. Right now it's that I have to keep my room clean (understandable, but I'm better than half my friends at that) or else she cancels my phone (I pay for it, and use it to talk to my boyfriend long distance...it's just on her account, and I want it switched over to my name) and if I don't pay her back the cost of cancelling my phone I'm kicked out... Then she'll threaten me with being kicked out randomly on top of that to other thing she doesn't like. Everybody tells me it'd be best for me to move out, but I don't make enough money to move out. My friend has invited me to live with her, and I wouldn't mind, but I live fifteen minutes away from my job and she lives 45 minutes away. Money would manage to get even tighter.

My mom threatens to kick me out, tells me that I'm pushing it when I'm trying to help her out by taking her to get her car from the mechanic and whatnot. She's told me to get out and then she gets mad if she doesn't know where I am for a day, I don't get it.

Today she got mad at me for not calling her when I was out at work (which I told her I would be) and then cleaning the office I clean once a week (which is also work, technically... I'm an employee there, too). I filled my new pendant with my dog's ashes and went to find some ribbon in our garage. In the process I spilled some paper clips, I was running late for a meeting, or so I thought, so I grabbed as many as I could up and hoped she wouldn't go out and find it... But of course she did, and when she called already mad at me for not calling all day she asked about it, I'd said I had hoped to get out there before her and clean them up and she said "I'm sure" as if I was just going to leave them for her to clean up... she gives me no trust at all, just assumes the worst out of me. It's amazing I'm not covered in tattoos and piercings, smoking cigarettes (which she hates more than pot since it's acceptable to do in public), high off my a** all the time and drunk.

Of all people, you'd think my mom would realize I'm not that bad of a person but she knows me less than anybody else. I mean, if I'm such a liar then today when a bartender at a resturant my friend and I were at asked if either of us were twenty one 'cause he was trying to give out shots of some drink, and we both said no even though we're both twenty.

This is incredibly horrible. 0_0

I think your moms must have some kind of serious mental issues. The things that they get angry about almost certainly stem from some underlying psychological cause, since it seems like what you do doesn't really affect their behavior, there will always be some half-imagined slight to harass you over. Maybe you should try to talk about this with the family as a whole, since there's obviously some seething issues going on, but a large group could provide the emotional back-up needed?

My mom and I used to get along great, I was afraid to sleep alone so I'd sleep in her bed up 'til I was fourteen or fifteen. I would comfort her when something upset her. I could tell her stuff. it was my brother she didn't get along with. For good reason, he smoked pot and he had the same personality she has. Then he moved out, now he lives with my grandmother... and then she focused all her attention on picking on me, telling me I was changing and I was trying to destroy our relationship.

This has been a family personality flaw ever since my grandfather, at least. I can see it in myself, too, though not nearly to the same extent. Part of it probably stems from the fact she was widowed after four years of marriage with a three year old and a baby on the way, who she then had to raise alone while depressed for at least twelve years.

But the thing with that is, it's something you don't talk to family about. And even if you try, that doesn't mean anything. I've never been as close with my father's side of the family, even though I saw them every Sunday for years and I love them to death. Probably because they were the ones that always got on to me about my weight and eating, that's why I'm less comfortable with them. I love my mom, a lot, which is partially why it hurts so much that she does this to me. I don't want to embarass her with them, and I don't feel comfortable enough to go to them, anyways. I've tried going to my grandmother, calling her when Mom hurts me just like my brother did, but my grandmother is not only taking in my brother, she has my uncle and his two kids (one who's in her older twenties, even) living with her in her house, as well. That's three bedrooms for five people. My mom threatened once that if she helped me, or talked to me, then she'd better be prepaired to take me in because I'd be kicked out. My grandmother couldn't take me, so she just told me she couldn't help me and to try to work it out with my mom. I've called her since then and cried to her, and she'll try to comfort me and just tells me that's the way my mom is, and she'll try to convince my mom otherwise but I know if she mentions it Mom gets angry and she'll just let it go.

She's the one person that can make the worst qualities come out in me, like she's pulling out the scared, cornered animal in me. In every fight we have, I start screaming... with anybody else you have to make me really angry for me to scream. I'm very laid back about personal space, but she'll stick her face inches away from mine in a fight and follow me as I try to back up 'til I try to push her away or slap her because I'm freaking out by that point. We've gotten in physical fights, after she's come to slap and beat the crap out of me after I've said something she's not happy with. I have a photo of my back that my boyfriend took where she slammed me into the corner of a dresser when she got angry at me one time.

I've tried to get help multiple times from different people. Five years ago I was crying to my youth minister about it when we had gotten in another fight right before I'd gone to church, he even said this didn't sound like a good enviroment for either of us and we needed counseling or I needed to find a place to go, but nothing happened. Others have opened their houses to me, but one is thousands of miles away with my boyfriend's grandmother and his grandfather (who is the only person who within a couple hours meeting me/of being in the same house with has caused me to curl up on my boyfriend's bed trying not to cry). Or move in with my friend while I still don't have enough money. Part of my reason for staying before was for my dog, but now I don't know why I'm still here other than not one option sounds like it'll be better than the other.

My stepdad used to both beat on me and bash my weight. When I once asked him why he was hitting me, he said "because you're fat".

I lost over half my bodyweight because of that, he went on to die from weight related Diabetes. Irony?

Truly he was a b*****d.