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A seadweller this time. Aandes looked up with interest. He typically associated seadwellers to be dressed in loose gauzy fin-like material, scales and sequins perhaps… But not fuzz. There was so much whimsical fuzz (and so many hats!) That Aandes could hardly see straight.

“Oh, gosh. You sure are fluffy! That’s so whimsical!” Exclaimed Aandes, tugging at one of his curls with a vacant expression. “How do your get your hats to stay up like that? I like the choice you made to choose not one or two but five hats… Is that number significant or deep for you?”

That may have been a good in to some quality screen time. Aandes pulled himself forward on his elbows and addressed the seadweller. “I’ve always thought that landdwellers had more of an affinity for hats, but you certainly seem to enjoy them. Was that a part of your fashion strategy? Do you typically wear hats? I’m feeling like there’s a certain IM-practicality for you to wear hats, but I could be wrong. Like – I like your dancing, but could that be too daring? Is that a risk? What kind of danger is there in losing one of those hats, and if you had four hats would it negatively affect the whole look? What about the balance of the hats. Maybe one is hurting your look and needs to go.” He raised his hands up defensively and had a strange look on his face. “I dunno! I’m just sayin’, is all. You look good though. Great work,”

Odette (5) + Milieu (1) + Reemus (1) + Eostre (3 + 1) + Cerise (1) + Cebass (1)

spiked platforms (+ 2 daring, +1 whimsical)
plain ruffled shirt (vintage +2 highest -1) faded christmas sweater (vintage +2 +whim +1)
spiked phat pants (daring +1 whimsical +1, practical +1)
fuzzy feather scarf(whimsical +1 daring +2)

daring: 5
vintage: 2
practical: 1
whimsical: 4

Oh my god, this is such a cute sweater! Squeal!!

Psykgi was excited to be doing this. Look at her! Judging! She could feel how important she was to this whole affair, and it was very nice. Yes... she leaned back into her comfortable chair and sipped the drink that was passed to her. Very nice.

She looked over the other judges thoughtfully before requesting an additional cushion to help her see over the table. Yes. This was much better.

Finally, it began, and Psykgi leaned forward eagerly, offering a cookie to her lusii, who began to diligently take it apart. Psy had always found her lusus's eating habits fun to watch, but this time... oh yes. This time, her attention was on the stage as the first contestant appeared before her.

She was a fellow redblood, and Psykgi had to admit that she looked a lot better in those outfits than she ever could! But really, she didn't want to. That was why she was on the other end of the judging table. She watched the redblood's routine, nodding as the crowd began to get unruly. This was where people either lost or gained confidence, right? The redblood seemed to be the latter, strutting with a pizzaz that made Psykgi gasp with delight, and a finale that made her jaw drop in awe. Ma'am quickly distracted her before she could notice the whole... ah... wardrobe malfunction. Except she totally did.

”Bravo! Bravo!” she chirped, ”Excellent showing, and such great strutting... goodness! I wish I could do that!” she smiled cheerily, ”But maybe a bit easier on the wind, 'kay? Or wear something beneath it! Haha!”

Trolls Scored:
Odette:

spiked platforms (+ 2 daring, +1 whimsical)
sleek hawaiian t-shirt (whim +2, +1 practical)
spiked phat pants (daring +1 whimsical +1, practical +1)
fuzzy feather scarf(whimsical +1 daring +2)
plain five hats (+ 1 daring, + 1 whimsical)

daring: 5
practical: 2
whimsical: 6

Eugh, look at these 5 hats! NO, nope, never!!

I am critiquing: Cebass


Psykgi didn't even bother commenting on the canine yellowblood. She'd thought he was the entertainment – a diversion or palette cleanser between sets of models – and it was only after she had devoted some time to a filling lunch that she realized her mistake. Oops!

Oh, hey, the next one was a seadweller! She payed extra attention to him to make up for her error of apathy from before. She grinned: he was certainly playful, but something about his outfit didn't match up to his walk. Sure, it was pretty whimsical and playful, but there was an edge of not-whimsical to it. Of boring.

”Hmm.” she said, watching as his perky, upbeat posing and movements seemed to drive the crowd wild. Absolutely positively wild. ”I don't get it.” she said, frowning coquettishly, ”I don't know why the others were fighting over you! I'm sorry, but you weren't THAT good.” maybe he had subliminal images hidden in his clothing? But Psykgi was good at seeing those, and she couldn't see any. His outfit was not particularly outrageous, and his walk was... well...

”And you could have done with a little less spring in your step! Goodness, your poor fins must be hurting after that!” she said, shaking her head, ”And you stopped to watch! Not good form, no no.” she tsked him.

Ma'am, by this point, was furiously buzzing around her troll. That was a highblood she was judging – a highblood. No. She needed to stop this madness before she got herself culled!

Psykgi was done anyway. ”Oh well!” she chirped, ”Its a mystery!” Thank you for joining us!”

I am critiquing: Eostre


Ma'am fluttered around her as Psykgi prepared her notecards for the next contestant. What did she think she was doing?! She could get herself culled this way, and Ma'am was not standing for that!

”But ma... my job is to critique. That's what I'm doing.” she saidto the incensed cockroaches, frowning. ”That is what I'm here to do, so...” she shook her head, ”I'm going to do it!”

Oh no. There would be no more critiquing of highbloods. The next one to come on stage would get perky, insightful, CHEERFUL inoffensive comments, or, Ma'am threatened, there would be words. Oh, there would be words. Words and MANY priviledges taken away.

Her threats fell on not-exactly-deaf ears. Psykgi didn't particularly care what her lusii thought – she was going to do her judging job and have fun doing it. She ate one of the delicious cupcakes that the drone provided to her and watched the next contestant. She smirked as she realized she was a purpleblood, but... Her eyes widened. So daring! So delightful! Psykgi couldn't look away from the grotesque carnival in front of her as they danced and sashayed with...

Oh my.

Ma'am chittered unhappily. This was not appropriate. Not at all. Psykgi blushed as the perky... horned... troll turned and strutted with pride. ”Oh yes!” she chirped, ”This is what I meant! Strutting, swaggering... I love your outfit!”

NO SHE DID NOT shrieked the cockroaches, SHE WAS NOT WEARING THAT. NO. STOP LOOKING, GIRL.

Psykgi shushed her lusii. ”Such passion and grace! Goodness, I wish I had your moxie! And your makeup skills!” she gasped, ”Look at that makeup. Gosh! You just look so daring! I want to go up to you and ask you your autograph, just to see what you'll do next!” she propped her head on her hands and stared, dreamily blushing, at Eostre, ”And so careful too! Wonderful!” Psykgi found some confetti and threw it, just to emphasize her point. ”Absolutely wonderful!” she cheered.

And then she turned to her seething pile of lusii and winked. ”Complementary enough for you, Ma'am?” She said lightly, innocence oozing from every one of her freckled pores.

Ma'am was not a happy swarm. Not at all. There would be consequences, that was for sure.


Trolls Scored:
Odette: 1
Milieu: 1
Cebass: 1
Eostre: 1

Regina settled down in her seat, winking and smiling at the camera and other trolls. The other judges might not be putting two and two together, but the pampered atmosphere was not entirely simply to get them all relaxed for the cameras. As the main lights of the stage lit up and the repetitive music with a heavy beat began to pick up, she leaned forward in her seat. Well well! It was the redblood from the dance! Regina didn't have a hard time remembering her face, she was right in pegging the girl as a looker from the start.

Watching her twirl and dip, Regina felt a small flare of irritation at how the girl had been so frozen and tongue tied when they talked. Sure, for an entire audience of gutter trolls pulled in off the street, the redblood could strut her stuff and look confident and poised, but where was it when Regina tried to talk to the girl? As Odette arrived at the end of the stage, Regina waited for the rest of the judges to finish talking and leaned forward. "Hey girl! Nice seeing you so confident and out there today." Not feeling really funny, Regina tried going for cutting instead. "I gotta say, your outfit doesn't do you any favours. It looks pretty cheap - i wouldn't say it's made for the trash can, but there's a definite garbage feeling I'm getting. Old? Outdated? Ready for burning? Whatever, one of those." Waving her hand dismissively, she shrugged. "Basically, it looks like you mugged a hiveless drone." The audience had to shake their heads. Not only was Odette's outfit totally vintage, but Regina's attempts at scathing had simply painted her as a philistine who didn't know haute couture when it ruffled it's way down the stage.

+1



The next troll was someone new. And daring. Regina's eyes widened as this troll strutted down the stage. Regina didn't like to consider herself a child, but well, with one thing and another, she'd never had much time to get into setting those quadrants up. Or anything that happened after. Her mind spun, and by coincidence, so did the tassels. At the end, she struggled inwardly, glad that the other trolls were leaping in ahead of her. It hadn't been the shame globes that threw her, but the entire outfit from top to bottom, worn and worked, well, you just had to listen to that tealblood boy gush. However, his long tirade gave her the time necessary to readjust her internal equilibrium in time for the camera to move onto her.

"Those were some great points, kinda matching those shoes - but I kinda think you would have been fine with a little less makeup, you're looking a little pasty over there." Waiting for the groans to die away, she grinned disarmingly. When jokes were temporarily beyond your reach, you could always stoop to puns. "Seriously, you're almost getting sacrilegious. It took a real pair of shame globes to walk out on stage wearing what you did, but isn't that what this event is all about? I really like how the tutu uh, looks pretty different from the rest." She wasn't sure what else to say but people seemed to be begrudgingly grinning at the pun she had plucked from the girl like the low-hanging fruit (well, not that low) it was.

"All in all this is what I was expecting from a great blueblood. Great mounds of - " There was a small pause as Regina waved her hands vaguely out in front of her. Her own rumble spheres hadn't exactly exploded outwards from her chest the moment she hit puperty, but the air that she was vaguely waving in hinted at where they might one day rest. Looking at the bawdy audience full of rough lowbloods, she felt comfortable and at home with going for the gutter. Sure the girl on stage was a blueblood, but hey, if she wasn't giving any notice to the antics that were happening in the audience pits, then Regina sincerely doubted that anything she'd say or do would be taken any more notice of. "- confidence, a strut like you're walking a mile over some back talking wiggler,and the eyes of a serial culler." Leaning back in her chair, she gave a nod of approval. From the stands, as expected, a few guffaws had broken out at what had essentially been the same joke as before, only repeated louder and clearer for the hard of thinking. "Plus the bow tie's classy. Good job." Giving a point, a grin, and a wink, she settled back and watched Eostre cull the runway a second time as she marched back to her dressing room.

+8



And then there was this joker. Regina was certain he showed up each festival, managed to get her goat somehow, and then vanish back into whatever pit he capered out of. Where the tall shoes on the previous blueblood had been something Regina admired, on him well ... wasn't he tall enough already? As he swaggered down the runway, struggling to keep a straight face, she thought furiously on what kind of remarks could cut him down to size. Unfortunately, Regina had to admit to herself that this troll was clearly miles beyond giving a ******** over this event, or his own personal appearance. And while she was certain there was something that could set him off, it certainly wouldn't be pointing out how his pants made him look like he just regurgitated his dinner onto them. Quietly in the back of her mind, she made a mental note to find this troll's name in the participants register and dig up some dirt on him for next year. He'd be back, she had no doubt. Any troll who was still participating in these things as an adult clearly had so much spare time on their hands they didn't know what to do with it.

When it was her turn to speak up, she shrugged and put on a blank face. "Y'know I can honestly think of nothing funny to say that would get more laughs than just panning the camera back over to this delicate plate of finery. Go on! The best thing is the more you look, the more you see, and the more hilarious it gets." Obligingly the camera slid back around to Zeffer presenting some mildly explicit gestures towards some trolls in the audience. The timing was perfect and the crowd surrounding the two trolls guffawed loudly, having already been on the edge of laughter for most of his walk. As the camera panned back to her, she stared at it, repeatedly miming for the camera to go back towards the blueblood and it swung round again, to even more laughter and one troll choking loudly. Regina was pretty certain that someone had brought some kind of strong beverage in, as a few of the audience members seemed to be shaking with mirth. Probably some fortified faygo carted in by one of the devout trolls that were settled together in the audience. She was still unsure how they got in, or why they even wanted to be there.

When the camera returned back to her again, she sat back and gave a big grin. "See? Stuff like this is a silent masterpiece. You gotta just take it in and appreciate it, because when this bucko gets sectioned for criminal levels of insanity and colour combining, all he's gonna be wearing for the rest of his days is some plain grey jumpsuit, and maybe a leg manacle for style. Treasure it now everyone, treasure it now." Turning back to the stage, she smiled angelically.

+8



Regina squinted at the next contestant to leap out onto the stage, with even more energy than the ones before. It was the first wiggler to be in the show, but the troll was clearly making up for her lack of sweeps with everything else. Yet again, Regina really couldn't feel like this was something to be critiqued, as the redblood was clearly revelling in the insanity, along with the crowd. Well, lowbloods would be lowbloods right? She wasn't sure how the awkwardly applied clown makeup would go down with the religious section of the crowd, if the girl wasn't properly dunked or whatever it was. Skimming her mind for comments, she also tried to remember the initiation practices mentioned in the pamphlets. It wasn't much, but she hoped that there wouldn't be some sort of mass clown raid on the festival after this, for knocking too much on their holy facepaint or whatever. Fights were all and fine when she was orchestrating, but random chaos and honking was the path to an unpleasant for everyone.

As the redblood came to the end of the stage and presented her tongue to the judging pannel, Regina resisted returning the gesture. This was no place to be exchanging friendly black taunts, besides, the troll was far too young for her. "I don't really get you. What's with this practical vibe i'm getting? It doesn't work with your presentation. Pants and a shirt? Compared with the rest of the trolls I've seen, I'm yawning in my seat. Snore!" Foolish Regina. The more fashionably inclined judges shook their heads. Practical didn't mean boring, it just meant ... well something else. Also, juxtaposition was totally in. Fashion was always exciting!

+1



Another little wiggler. Regina drummed her fingers on the table. Kids were no good, they took whatever you gave them and bounced back for more. This game, er, event rather, was no fun if the runway contestants were just gonna flail around in whatever they dragged up, regardless. Still, she gave the kid credit for interacting with the audience. You either had to ignore them and rock it, or laugh back. There was no room in Regina's mind for a troll hesitating here, if you floundered on the stage you'd flounder in real life, and once that happened there would be nothing left to do but take the troll out back and give them a pity cull. Her eyebrows raised as the kid took a pair of pants to the face and still kept going. Nice self control, although in Regina's personal book of acceptable reactions to unacceptable situations, she'd have given the girl more points for jumping off the stage and thumping the audience member in the jaw. The kid was pretty young though, so she supposed she'd have settled for their lusus coming out and doing the job themselves.

When the camera swung to her, she nodded at the girl and gave a bright smile. "Nice balancing act you got there kid. Your hair's pretty messed, it looks like you've got some serious static. I'm not sure if that's hairspray or not, but if it's just plain old electricity, it looks like you're some sorta underclothes magnet! You might wanna stay away from crowds!" Giving the audience time to chuckle , she winked and tapped her nose. "And stay away from that blueblood from earlier, I'm pretty sure if she looses her undies, then we're gonna have to up the rating of this show."

+5 funny



As the next troll strutted out, Regina's face rose and settled back down, while in her mind's eye a loud declaration of surprise sounded. Here was the first - glancing down at the list of contestants given, she frowned, first seadweller to represent in this competition, out of a meagre two. Sure, green had a measly one, but this was supposed to be some sort of classy, highbrow event. And, and it was so small. And so fuzzy. It skipped, or hopped, down the first part of the runway, ignoring the shouting spectator that was ejected by force, but stopping as a fight broke out to stare distractedly. What was this. This was not remotely radical. It was bordering on pitiable cuteness, with a heavy dollop of naivete. Seadwellers were supposed to be all spikes and fins, in the queen's mind. Something for the lower colours to look up to with admiration, awe, and plenty of fear. They weren't supposed to go skippity hoppity, and if they were, they were clearly too young to be out of the water. Looking around, she searched her field of vision for the wiggler's parent. No dice - they were most likely backstage. Still.

"Shouldn't you be at home, kid?" Regina's concern overrode the competition. "A little glubber like you shouldn't be on land for at least another sweep, it's all dirty n s**t up here! Plus you might need a bit more time cultivating your er, natural confidence. A seadweller should be able to focus and slay the s**t out of this audience, not give the camera time to them. Maybe you should come back next sweep."

+1



As the next lowblood toddled out, Regina squinted. There was starting to be a pattern here. Leaning forward she watched as the audience shift through a spectrum of emotions, then transferred her gaze back to the lowblood boy who, in her opinion, didn't warrant the theatres. Each and every item had already been done before on the runway, she was pretty sure, and had been pulled off better, or at least with more energy. The boy just shuffled down looking bewildered, stood at the end, then shuffled back up. She half expected to see his lusus leaning out of the back and directing him, he seemed so unaware of what was going and and what his role was in it.

Not waiting her turn to give an opinion, she spoke first. "Flat. The audience was rockin' it, but they were more interesting than what was happening on stage. Where's the fun in that? Look at that first wiggler, the redblood. She was a mess but she was life! She was kid! This dude looked like he was sleepwalking, though if those are his pyjamas, I'd hate to see his street clothes." The last bit was thrown on to try and keep her tone light and humorous, but it probably wasn't working. "That performance was so lifeless. A real model's gotta -" She hesitated, having no idea what a real model was supposed to do, and improvised wildly, grabbing the adult blueblood from memory. "- jump around on stage, makin' a nook of themselves! Y'know, keep things lively and exciting!" No, no they were not. To her side, one of the judges shook their heads silently, staring at the camera.

+1



Another 'vintage' troll. Regina didn't get the deal with it. Traditional clothing, stuff like the military uniform, that stuck around for generations of trolls, now that you could respect. Sweeps of rebellious uprisings and unsatisfied wigglers and still the stuff stayed around. That meant it was a fashion to be respected, and feared. Some ragged old bit of clothing that's only value is being pulled off some dead troll, didn't exactly scream out the same defiance against the ages. So when Milieu arrived at the end of her walk, Regina prepared herself for another rambling and ill-informed rant about how looking good had nothing to do with dressing like a wrinkled old cocoon. She was pretty sure it would be wasted on the audience, but she was damned if she was going to sacrifice her personal values just to score some points in a game.

Bouncing a leg impatiently on the ground, she gestured around at the silent audience at the end of the tealblood's runway performance. "I think that said all I want to for this outfit. We've seen so many trolls out here today trying to be vintage, what's the point? Isn't fashion about trying to be new and cutting edge or whatever? Or at least making some kinda statement. This just says gosh I love stuff that was done already back when I was a grub. What's so great about that? Also, what is with you all and those shoes??? " Wrinkling her nose a little, she wasn't surprised that the rest of the judges didn't seem to be in agreement. Whatever, just water off her back.

+1



Along with the rest of the judging pannel, Regina sat in stunned silence at the orangeblood's walk. Of course she had stressed that this event be somehow 'exciting and radically unexpected', but the pr drones in charge had really managed to get some curve balls in. She was willing to bet at this point that every single troll in the audience was an actor, on the payroll of the festival organizers. There was just simply no other way to explain that interpretative dance that just took place. She felt a little better with this thought resting in her think pan, and took a small amount of malicious comfort knowing that other trolls might simply be bewildered, unable to understand what just transpired. The troll's lusus though, that was a good job. She'd be sure to promote the drone who took responsibility for that, possibly to some role in her intelligence gathering network. A troll that can find and lead someone else's lusus by the hoof, and a musclebeast at that, into taking part in the most bizarre walk yet, was a one in a lifetime find. Glancing over at the tealblood with an ignorance tunnel that would just not stop, she halfheartedly joined in on the applause. Not for the bewildered troll that had fled backstage, but for the trolls who had gone to the pains to organize this.

The rest of the judging panel mumbled, stuttered, and bravely floundered out their critiques, and in the uncertain silence after, Regina shrugged. "I dunno, I'm not one for woofbeasts." What else was there that could be said?

+1
final score: 27

Etsali dives into the bin to see what she can find.
2, 2, 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 1

Initial Outfit:
Fuzzy (Whimsical + 1) Slippers (Practical + 1, Whimsical + 1)
Faded (Vintage + 1) Three-Woofbeasts Howling Shirt (Whimsical +1, Practical + 1)
Faded (Vintage + 1) Zubaz (Vintage + 1, Practical + 1)
Spiked (Daring + 1) Feather Scarf (Daring + 2)

Etsali is not all that into the idea of a spiked scarf, sounds a little painful. What else can she find? Aw man, yes, fingerless gloves. Perfect!

Fuzzy Slippers (Practical + 1, Whimsical + 2)
Faded Three-Woofbeasts Howling Shirt (Whimsical +1, Practical + 1, Vintage + 1)
Faded Zubaz (Vintage + 2, Practical + 1)
Spiked Feather Scarf (Daring + 3)
Faded Fingerless Gloves (Whimsical +1, Practical +1, Vintage+1)