|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Aug 17, 2010 11:13 pm
 чυкισ The Broken Angel мιнєαℓ
"I realized today that the more I cried, the more people hit me
So maybe if I smiled, would they all leave me alone?" Yukio backed off a little seeing as Dion had gotten in between the two boys. He ignored Jack's comments as he began to back up slightly. Aizen... he said cooly, the smile fading away now. It was rather rare for him to call him that and when he did, it usually means he's really pissed. Pissed enough to exploit anything he had on someone. What does it mean to love?
Aizen stared at him. It was obvious that he had no clue what the younger brother was saying. Yukio glowered at his older foster brother. Tears were surprisingly flowing down his cheeks. He suspected something of Aizen long ago, that day in the park, the first day they ever met. Aizen confessed his troubles to the child who he thought he'd never see again, troubles that were most likely to strange for the younger boy to comprehend. Yet he did to help him with his past love triangle. Please don't cry... Aizen pleaded, pain in his eyes.
He then got an idea in his head. If he rejected him in that way, that meant he knew where his heart stood. But if he did what he asked, that would mean his brother is too ignorant, too willing, too kind to possibly know the emotion he mentioned, not that Yukio really understood yet it either. But he had to try. He was really going to regret this, but both of them needed to know. Especially Aizen. I'll stop if you kiss me... Yukio already was regretting his words. But it was for the best. At least Aizen'll know his own weakness now if he didn't reject his foster albino brother."Because a smile contains something rather genuine, a true smile was what I show
But even though I am truly happy to meet you...I'm sad to see if you choose to go"  heya!<3 heya!<3
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:49 am
 Λ ι z є ɴ • Μ ι ʜ є ᴀ ʟ . [SELF-APPOINTED DISCIPLINARY LEADER]`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••.¸¸.•´´¯`•´ Aizen looked to Dorian when he had called him out. His eyes widened in shock when he was ordering the teenage boy to get out. This is just not a good week for him. First he had sex with Dion, then Yukio found out and wants to kill him for it, and now Dorian's really pushing it. He was still confused on what he should do. The way Dorian was saying those words, it was like he had already decided on what Aizen wanted, which Aizen wasn't even sure of himself yet.
His head was spinning as near death shots were blocked by Dion. Of course, Yukio had barely stopped anyway and just came to a halt when Dion intervened. The question of what love was confused him. He knew what it was and yet, why couldn't he say anything. A plead of soft words came out as he tried to ask Yukio to stop crying. He was pretty sure what he was going to say next and he wasn't going to like it at all.
But instead, he just heard a request. If that was what it was going to take he'll do it. Sure...he was betraying himself again...But who was betraying? He was so confused. He gently pushed Dion away and walked up to Yukio. He lifted Yukio's chin lightly and leaned in. However, just as their lips were about to touch, a strong and powerful blow to his gut sent him flying upwards.
Yukio had kneed his older brother and let him fall to the ground. His face was now an even darker shade of red and was pretty much crying and sobbing. Wrong move, dumbass!! he cried. GOD! I can't tell if you're trying to make people happy or trying to satisfy yourself!! Are you trying to be a people pleaser or a prostitute?!
Aizen really wasn't sure what he was saying. Didn't he want that? All Aizen wanted was for him to stop crying. But apparently that wasn't what he wanted at all. What the hell?! What do you want me to do?! I was trying to calm you down!
Then say something! Don't act like you always do and willingly give yourself away to cheer someone up! God, why are you such a nice guy most of the times?! Yukio was apparently trying to wipe the tears on his face away. It was really blurring his vision. Aizen wobbled upwards and towards him, only to get rejected again.. Don't touch me you damned shotacon pervert!! That's right! I said it outloud! Dorian, your ex became a god-frigging, nice and sometimes annoying, shotacon pervert who can't is willing to give himself if he wants them to stop crying!! He's that much of a nice friggin idiot, an idiot willing to betray his feelings to make another person feel so much better!!
All he knew now was that apparently Yukio was also bringing up the past as well. He wasn't exactly sure how to calm the crying boy down. He said a lot of semi-private things outloud, but it wasn't as if he could've stopped him. But that wasn't exactly how he was going to tell Dorian about himself. He was going to have to try and just calm Yukio a little. hullothar hullothar
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 5:14 pm
xxxxxxxxxxʃ ɑ с ҡ . || CITY BOY - SURFER BOY ||
Jack was a little put out at having been ignored. The fight went on around him and the only person to even acknowledge that he was in the room was the Magpie. He watched the dark haired youth smile at him and tuck himself against the taller brunette. He was about to right the smile off as crap but there was something just a little bit different about this one. It looked like it actually might be happy. He’d oriented himself to start forward, half intending to drag Magpie down the hall and slap him upside the head, but now hesitated. Damnit, people were complicated.
Speaking of complicated… violet eyes drifted across the room back to the fight where Ai-something and Yukio were doing their level best to kill each other. In another moment a blonde head rushed by and Jack watched his previously missing third roommate get between them. Apparently some kind of drama had been started while he was out of the school for a day. He could only guess at what the hell they were talking about. Mostly it sounded like a case of ‘you had to be there’.
Trying to decide if he was now awake enough to be entertained by the fight, Jack’s fingers strayed to his pocket, touching the half squashed pack of matches. His spine straightened in a sudden spasm of alarm as he tuned the rest of the people out. Oh s**t. What time was it? Seven? It was certainly past the five o’clock deadline he’d been given for that morning’s punishment. The assistant principal’s threat twisted Jack’s face into a wince. He turned around to look behind him as though he suddenly expected the tall orange haired man to materialize in the hallway.
Jack sighed. If he was already screwed, he might as well relax. There wasn’t a way out of this one without a time machine. Still, no sense in hanging around where he would be expected. He gave a last glare at the fighters, Yukio was saying something about love in a quieter voice and Jack didn’t feel like sticking around. He had enough complication when it came to relationships in his own life. He could push Yukio’s mattress out the window in retaliation for the wake-up call later. Possibly while Yukio was still in it, depending on how badly the rest of the day went.
He went back to his room, but by then it was empty. Jack scanned the room, surprised. True, Kaito had eaten alone before but… Hell, he was not going to be a ******** girl about this. He’d left, Kaito had left. They didn’t have to be attached at the hip. Except. Except that crossdressing brunette stalker was still around and Kaito was still being uncharacteristically blind to whatever Kai did.
”Today is just going to be so fun. I can tell,” he grumbled, collecting clothes and heading for the showers. Down the hall he could hear Aizen shouting something about calming someone down followed by a softer tirade from Yukio. He paused, torn between going back to investigate and getting down to the cafeteria. In the end finding Kaito won out. He could track Yukio down later and figure out what was up then. Jack rushed through a shower and pulled on clean clothes, a simple pair of jeans and a shirt. A minute later he was out.
[ exit ]
________________________________
" S t a n d i n g . o n . t h e . e d g e . . . "
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 8:22 pm
 xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Mere seconds after Dorian addressed Aizen he could feel the dark haired boy on his lap begin to try pulling away from him. His arms went more firmly around Aiden and he spared a glance down, away from the chaos that had invaded his room. He pressed a cheek to the top of Aiden’s head. His voice was indistinct and soft, the actual words less important than the tone in combination with the steady hold he had. One arm was around Aiden now, the other locked around a slender pale wrist. He pressed his fingertips together, allowing him a way to make sure he could secure the grip without actually pressing too hard against Adien’s skin. “Don’t.”
There was an obviously selfish element to the hold, but he contented himself with it since he could theoretically justify what he was doing as being for Aiden’s sake as well. In the light of day blood was further evident and even if it wasn’t bleeding actively any longer, it could tear whatever scabs had formed if he moved too much too quickly. For another thing, the smaller male was all but naked and while Aiden himself might not have minded fleeing down the hallway like that, Dorian certainly did. Aiden was dangerous enough fully clothed. His mind looked for a way out of this, thought spinning in his head as he was pulled back to the fight which had suddenly gone a bit quieter with Dion’s arrival.
The blonde he recognized from the hospital, the one who had likely been with Aizen the night before, pushed his way in between the fighters. Dorian had no idea how to feel about him and didn’t even try to sort those emotions out. His head was going to explode if he introduced even one more iota of complication into it. His was barely maintaining the practiced cool as it was. A good chunk of the singer wanted to stand up, scream at Aizen, throw Yukio out, shove the blonde into a closet, then whirl and demand why Aiden the hell had decided this was a second one night stand. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. He drew in a few deep breaths and forced himself to focus again.
And of course was in time to see Yukio, of all people, ask his step brother for a kiss. Dorian didn’t even manage to blink as Aizen attempted to oblige. The resulting rant from Yukio snapped Dorian straight back out of his shock when he heard his name, eyes snapping to Yukio’s red ones.
“Yukio,” he snapped, impatience breaking through. “Control yourself. This is my room. You are both guests, uninvited ones I might add, and you will have some decorum or you will leave. This is neither the time nor the place to be discussing this.” His gaze slid to Aizen. Dorian’s eyes were hurt and reproachful. How could Aizen, his Aizen, do this? He’d molested Dion in front of Aizen, he’d tried to kiss Yukio in front of Dion right after sleeping with him…
“And that is not someone who is ‘willing to give himself’,” he said, voice dropping in volume a few degrees. “He is merely taking. I can learn to accept that you’ve moved on, Aizen. But I will not accept what you are becoming.” He shot another pointed look at Dion, reminding Aizen that the blonde had been there to see everything, including the kiss. He felt a flash of sympathy for Dion, but couldn’t bring himself to actually speak to the boy directly, not yet.
He stood, gathering Aiden in his arms as he did so. “When I return, I expect my room to be empty. Am I clear?” The blue eyes narrowed at the entire group of them. Then he straightened his back and put his face back into a neutral expression. With dried blood smeared in hair that looked like a seal had been chewing on it and in nothing but the sweatpants he’d gone to bed in, Dorian stalked out of the room with as much dignity as he had in reserve, head high, steps smooth and even.
“Where is your room?” he asked Aiden quietly as he stepped into the relative silence of the hall. Once he had his answer, he moved directly to it. A quick glance around the room told him neither of the slept in beds likely belonged to the boy in his arms so he moved towards the third, setting him gently down on it. A few quick strides backwards and he locked the door, in no mood to deal with anyone else for a time.
“Let me see your hand,” he requested as he moved back to Aiden, looking to focus on anything other than what had just happened. “The injured one.”
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 8:29 am
Apparently Jack was satisfied with the brief head movement from the dark haired boy because he left the singer alone and transferred his gaze towards the three that were now dominating the center of the room with their fight. Given his struggles had resulted in being held tighter with his wrist locked down in a secure grip, Aiden had no choice but to watch them with meek midnight orbs, going limp in the other male's hold at the one word command. Ignoring the flashes of panic at being trapped, not letting them rise to the surface in his eyes as the other dark haired boy accepted the invitation and stepped forward into the offered kiss.
Aiden, a natural submissive trained by life into something even more, found nothing wrong with the action. He obviously had some sort of connection to the white haired boy-although it was obvious he wasn't the one who owned Yukio-so his response to the command made perfect sense. Given he had spent an entire day with someone who gave off enough mixed signals to make him doubt his every action, he could also sympathize with the sudden reversal he was treated to. If it weren't for the fact that Aizen had, and wasn't enjoying, the one thing that Aiden wanted more than anything...he might have liked the other dark haired boy. As it was Aiden wasn't sure what his feelings were.
A blonde was standing off to one side, obviously caught in the drama but Aiden wasn't sure how other than by piecing together some of what they were saying, but honestly it wasn't making much sense to the model. Behind him Dorian clearly lost his patience with the group and demanded that they behave. The midnight blue dropped to the floor, emotions flickering through them too fast for him to be able to control it. Sadness that there was still that part of Dorian that was so attached to Aizen, a brilliant white flare of hope that he said he'd accepted he'd moved on, and a host of others. Life wasn't supposed to be this complicated.
He knew his place in it and had accepted that a long time ago, until he got one single kiss from the brunette gathering him in his arms. That one kiss had thrown everything off and made him wish for things he knew he couldn't have and worse was that Dorian occasionally gave them to him. With a small sound that might have been a sigh he rested his cheek against the singer's shoulder and loosely looped his arms around his neck to make their position a little easier. When he didn't know what to do it was generally easier to let someone else control his actions. So he closed his eyes as they moved out of the room.
"Eight."he whispered back softly, his bedroom voice showing a slight touch of the confusion hidden behind his closed eyes as they moved down the hallway without another word. When his back touched the softness of a mattress he shifted as soon as he was released and curled onto his side, eyes opening enough to stare blankly at the window he was facing. Not really acknowledging anything as he tried to lock down the foreign emotions before he ended up destroying himself beyond even what he could repair.
In full submissive mode, he obediently held up the injured hand at Dorian's request wondering why he was HERE when he really should be back trying to get his boyfriend to behave. It wasn't as if Aiden meant anything, really. The blue eyes staying sightlessly locked away from the brunette holding the offered hand. The pain easy to ignore after a lifetime of it. He was used to just ignoring them till they healed on their own. Luckily he healed quickly.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:29 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Dorian settled his weight down on the bed, letting out a slow frustrated breath. A good part of his mind was still back in his own room, different parts of his brain fighting and arguing over the logical course of action. You couldn’t just be in love with someone for so long and cut the threads that easily, even if the person was obviously not the same one you’d fallen in love with. He didn’t know if Yukio was trying to condemn or defend his brother but the conflicting report had done nothing to help the singer. At this point he wasn’t even sure what he wanted to believe, let along what he could believe. And of course a major source of the conflict was there on the bed in front of him, looking for all the world like a damaged porcelain doll.
He lifted the hand and examined it with a slight frown, holding it carefully in his own. There was blood, of course, but nothing that looked like it required immediate stitches. A first aid pack would have been useful but Dorian was reluctant to go back and hunt in his room for one. Not until he was sure it had been vacated. He knew he was being selfish, pushing things as much to the side as possible rather than dealing with them directly but it had been a hell of a couple of days since his time back. He wasn’t in the state of mind to deal with things maturely yet.
He lifted his hand and kissed the blood stained knuckles before lowering it into his lap. He leaned forward so his free hand could caress the dark hair, trying to tempt Aiden back from whatever place his mind had gone. Dorian found himself pulled away from his own inner monologue as his gut twisted and insisted he focus on Aiden. He’d obviously screwed up again because this was not the Aiden of the night before. His hand closed around the wrist of the hand he already had and drew it up, slipping his arm under the limp body and sliding Aiden back onto his lap as gently as he could manage it, situating himself so he was against the headboard. He ought to find Aiden some actual clothes and get him down to the nurse or at least into the bathroom so he could clean the blood off. But this seemed more important. He’d give it a few more minutes.
“I’m sorry about that,” he said finally. His voice felt oddly loud in the silence of the room and he lowered it to a mere murmur. “That wasn’t what I wanted you to wake up to.” Granted, it still might have been a little strange waking up to Aiden, but strange in a good way. He didn’t have to pretend he didn’t like Aiden anymore, he could at least admit it to himself. But that didn’t solve any of the complication surrounding the situation. Or around Aiden himself.
”But…” he hesitated, trying to angle himself enough to see the other boy’s face. “Why did you try to leave?”
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:56 am
Aiden didn't react when the bed dipped, his mind briefly slipping into the dark places of his soul before he pushed the memory away and focused on the shifting swirl of clouds just outside the window. Trying to keep his pulse from reacting to the touch of warmth against his hand. A conflicted combination of the memory of his position like this mixed with the feelings he had towards Dorian. They shouldn't have been connected, those two things, because one was dark and the other was light, but the twisting emotions were similar enough to draw them together.
The light kiss against his fingers produced a small exhalation of sound that wasn't quite a sigh, still unable to keep himself from turning his head slightly into the soft caress against the inky darkness of his hair. He just wanted it all to stop, to be back in a place he could easily understand and react to. The way he felt around this male was something he'd only felt towards one other person and even then it wasn't the same. He couldn't decide if it was worse or not, just because the soft touches hadn't yet been followed by the harsh sting of pain.
He remained limp as he was drawn back against the warmth of the singer's body, shifting them into a position that was close enough to last nights that he turned his head and buried his face against the brunette's neck. Wondering what was wrong with him that he'd so crave this no matter the fact that he knew the pain he'd suffer for it.
The dark haired male froze, blinking slowly and turning his head slightly so the midnight blue orbs could look up at Dorian. Those weren't words he was used to hearing, at least not in a tone that said they were meant. Sorry was easy to throw out as a casual thing so THAT wasn't surprising, but something in his tone pulled at the knotted feeling in Aiden's chest. His bloody hand moved without his thinking about it and brushed against the other boy's cheek. Partially checking to see if he was really hearing what he thought he had and partially because guilt was like pain and darkness...things that shouldn't ever touch the singer holding him.
The touch fell away at the next question, reminding him of things he wished he could forget. His hand sliding back to rest limply in his chest as he tilted his head down so even with Dorian's new angle he couldn't see the pain flare in his eyes as he shrugged slightly. Did he answer that he'd never actually woken up in the morning with someone? He or they had always left before then, after all that wasn't what Aiden's purpose WAS.
"I should have."he answered lightly, none of his emotions touching his bedroom voice this time. Nothing to hint that it was anything more light than what he wanted him to think. Words from his past brushed across his mind like razor blades and he shrugged them off and closed his eyes. He should leave now too, that it was his room didn't mean anything, it wasn't a sanctuary against pain. He really should get ready and check his stash and figure out a way to destroy these feelings before they destroyed him...and yet because of them he couldn't force himself to leave the warmth he was surrounded by, even if it was an illusion.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:32 am
xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Dorian heard the small breath that was the closest thing to a reaction he’d gotten since they’d entered the room. He was further encouraged by the slight reaction to his touch along the dark hair. Touch seemed very important when it came to Aiden. If he could just find a way to separate his touch from the ones Aiden had experienced in the past, maybe there was a chance. Was that possible? Could a simple touch distinguish you from others in a person’s mind. Dorian really wanted to believe it, was going to do his best to make sure things didn’t only seem different but really were different. He wouldn’t be the kind of person he’d found Aiden with in the empty classroom during yesterday’s storm.
He drew Aiden onto his lap and felt him suddenly go still again when Dorian spoke. Was the apology really so surprising? Dorian had been upset, but not directly at Aiden. If some of that had flowed over, made Aiden afraid again, it could possibly explain the way he was behaving now, like he was simply waiting for some form of rage to be hurled bodily at him. Light blue eyes shut for just a moment at the soft touch against his cheek, taking it as a sign of acceptance at the apology. While normally Aiden’s touches seemed overdone with seduction, this one was sweeter and almost childish. He tilted his head against it when his eyes opened, encouraging the motion.
But then it was gone and Dorian failed to catch sight of the expression that accompanied the next words. He should have left? That wasn’t an answer or an explanation or anything but painful to hear. The arm around Aiden’s back pulled him in tighter with the words. He half expected Aiden to take his own advice and suddenly bolt. There was little doubt the slight figure could move when he wanted to and even if Dorian was in decent shape with longer legs, he probably didn’t corner nearly as quickly and Aiden could theoretically lose him. Better not to give him a chance yet.
There were a hundred responses Dorian wanted to offer, half of them some variation on the word no and another couple dozen containing unkind remarks on Aiden’s habit of conducting one night stands. If you could call two nights with the same person a one night stand. Did that even count? Two nights and the second they hadn’t technically done anything. He groaned in frustration. There was a reason there wasn’t term for what was going on. It would be too depressing to imagine it happening enough to need something to call it.
“And what do I do,” he asked gently, tilting his head down enough to rest his forehead against Aiden’s. “to change your mind?” He couldn’t actually kiss Aiden from this angle, but he did keep him pulled in close, nuzzling Aiden’s hair imploringly. He wanted him to stay. Wanted him to want to stay. He’d said please, had said yes, had wanted to stay the night before. What had changed so drastically since then?
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:53 am
The arm wrapped around him, trapping him, pulled him tighter. It SHOULD have panicked him, he hated being stuck somewhere. It meant he couldn't escape, had to take whatever was coming his direction. He almost always had more than one way out of any situation and could go into full out panic attacks if it was denied him. Those were one of the few times he actually WOULD fight back, if sex wouldn't work and he had no way out. Yet, perhaps because of his mixed emotions concerning the one holding him, he took the action as more of a command and remained dociley limp in his hold.
He heard the groan and curled deeper into the brunette. Aiden wanted so badly to be good enough to have deserved any of this, but Dorian deserved much better. He just couldn't make himself move to actually go through with it. It was just further proof that he was as selfish as his mother always said he was. What could he possibly offer this boy? Not enough, and eventually he'd hurt him for it...it's just what happened. The dark haired boy's hand lifted and closed around the fabric hiding the diamond pendant from view.
"Nothing."he finally whispered, voicing one of the few opinions he ever gave, because it was the truth. There was nothing more he could do to make him stay, he wanted it with every fiber of his being and knew he was damned for it. A soft nuzzle against his hair was almost more painful than a hit would have been, because it was an offer of something he couldn't really touch. For a moment he curled deeper into the brunette, almost like he was trying to blend them together into one person, burying his face into the other boy's neck before releasing him and pulling against the hold once more to slip free. To escape Dorian and the feelings he was pulling from the depths of a soul Aiden wasn't sure he still had.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:35 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Dorian wished he hadn’t asked.
That had to be a lie, didn’t it? You couldn’t be like that with someone and not feel something. He’d been watching Aiden almost from the moment they’d met. The dark haired boy felt something, he had to. He’d even managed to convince Dorian to eat, literally feeding him in an effort to make sure he got enough. And sometimes his smile wasn’t that quiet seduction he broadcast to everyone. Dorian had seen more and more of the brighter childish smile that stripped away dome of the darkness lingering in Aiden’s eyes. It was there and he’d been sure he’d gotten better at drawing it out. And now he was being told he couldn’t do anything to bring it back anymore.
He felt Aiden curl deeper against him and began to relax, hoping he’d misunderstood the single word, that it had meant something other than the obvious. Dorian could feel the warm breath of the other boy gentle against the skin of his neck and started to shut his eyes. But the moment was gone again and Aiden was pulling away, just as he had back in Dorian’s bedroom. But this time there was nothing to run away from except Dorian himself. The feeling brought back memories of waking to Aiden scratched and bloodied at the singer’s own hands and the same sick ugly twist in his chest. Pain darkened lighter blue eyes as they found the midnight ones.
He caught Aiden one more, pinning one hand to the bed as he let the rest of the boy’s body move away from him. Dorian leaned forward until he was no longer sitting, on his knees to press himself forward enough to find Aiden’s lips and kiss him. Where the first kiss had meant a lot of the same things, it had been technically directed at someone else. This one was for Aiden. If Dorian was going to let him go, he was at least going to make his position clear. He did not want Aiden to leave, did not want Aiden to feel like he needed to run from him. He wanted to be the person the other boy relied on, his protector, the person he would trust enough to come to when he was hurt and vulnerable. He wanted to see Aiden, not the doll that he projected himself as.
When the kiss broke Dorian sat back on his heels, just watching Aiden. He couldn’t guilt him into this, couldn’t let pain show where it might influence the decision of the next few moments. Relationships like that didn’t work. They died if they were built on something so flimsy as one person owing another or feeling some form of pity. His lips parted like he wanted to say something but gave up after a moment of struggle. It was Aiden’s choice. He lifted his hand and let Aiden go.
But if the boy came back, Dorian wasn't sure he'd be able to let go again.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 12:59 pm
The midnight orbs reflected it back for just a moment when pain filled summer sky meet his gaze, before he shut it down behind the meek acceptance that he usually portrayed. Expecting to be let go. So when his hand was suddenly pinned to the floor and Dorian was leaned over him he couldn't help the sharp inhalation, the brief tensing of muscles expecting a blow before he went limp and accepting. Letting nothing of the fear or pain rise to his expression or his eyes because he knew that would only make it worse.
But instead of one type of pain he got another. A soft press of lips against his own that was unlike anything he'd touched. It was the kiss from before only there was a touch more desperation, the only emotion he could really identify in the kiss that burned through his chest and seared his soul. Because while he couldn't name what was behind those emotions he could still FEEL them. A kaleidoscope of sensations that he clung too for reasons he couldn't explain, other than that he wanted desperately to understand.
It might have been part of the reason why when he was released, when the brunette leaned back away from him, he scrambled upright and to the edge of the bed. For once the seduction was gone completely, he couldn't think enough to maintain it through the moment. So instead of the more typical submissive acceptance there was only a sort of swirl of emotions. Shoulders hunched he crouched at the foot of the bed, ready to bolt at the slightest movement, his midnight blue orbs wide and confused.
Slowly he lifted one hand upward and touched his lips, half expecting to be able to touch some of the power that had sparked like honey in the brief moment they'd touched. His eyes unfocused as he concentrated on the feelings swirling in his chest, not clear on what he should do because it wasn't something he'd ever done before. Not even those few moments he could recall, when his mother had been just drugged enough to be happy, when she'd held him like he mattered and brushed his hair...even then he had felt a childish joy but nothing compared to the confusion of the moment.
Sucking in a breath that sounded as pained as he felt his blue eyes focused on the singer sitting patiently at the other end of the bed. He knew he was making a mistake, knew that he wouldn't recover from this, because how could he? Yet he wanted it so bad, just for a little while to bask in that light, just for a little while. Biting his bottom lip, he trembled, trapped between the two decisions and knowing one would likely kill him. In the end though, there was really only one choice. Selfish as it was, as much as it would destroy him, he wanted it to badly. Had since that first touch.
"I'm sorry."he whispered, a sound almost as broken as his earlier inhalation as he apologized for taking something he had no right touching. His bloody hand lifting off the bed and moving forward as he carefully crawled forward towards the brunette. Every inch of his posture broadcasting the trembling fear and need, unable to rebuild the shell for a moment under the torrent of emotions.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:46 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Dorian watched Aiden scrambled backwards away from him and thought he’d pushed it too far, broken what hold he might have had. His face was relaxed, neutral. He could at least summon enough control to leave them both some form of dignity when Aiden ran. He expected the dark eyed boy to turn any moment, bolt for the door and slam it behind him to make sure Dorian would take longer before he could follow. Dorian wouldn’t follow, but he wouldn’t blame Aiden for suspecting it. While Aiden hadn’t exactly said no, hadn’t moved away until the kiss ended, Dorian had definitely been taking liberties with the contact. Just like he’d said he wouldn’t. Damn it, how often was he going to break his word when it came to this boy?
He watched Aiden press his fingers to his lips and Dorian’s expression went from resigned to curious. Not for the first time he wished he had an x-ray into the mind. He’d been ready to let Aiden go and Aiden had suddenly stopped moving away, crouched at the edge of the bed and just watching him the way Dorian was in turn watching Aiden. Midnight blue and summer blue just waiting for something to happen. Dorian felt himself jerk at the small sound of pain, wanting to eliminate the source in a heartbeat if he could. Unfortunately it wasn’t nearly so simple a problem as it needed to be for something like that to happen.
It was harder than he could have imagined to sit still and do nothing when Aiden began to worry his lip and shake. He couldn’t react to it though, not yet. Aiden still had to decide if he wanted Dorian or not and he was too submissive to trust any answer that came if Dorian pulled him back. And it would be too hard to let go if he said no. His heart sank when he heard the apology. It sounded to Dorian like something you said in the place of ‘good bye’.
But instead, Aiden moved back towards him. He kept himself still for another second or two to be sure he wasn’t just telling himself Aiden was coming back without it really being true. The boy kept moving and he was still trembling and this time Dorian could do something about it. He met Aiden part way, drawing the smaller figure into his lap so quickly it was a miracle he didn’t accidentally dislocate Aiden’s arm. Hands stroked the pale skin of his arms, his legs, his cheeks, soothing them, trying to stop the shakes as he nuzzled against the ink colored hair.
“I’m not,” he answered without really noticing he’d spoken. He was trying to calm Aiden down but he couldn’t hide how relieved he was, lips curved into a soft smile that he wanted Aiden to share. He’d wait for the trembling to stop and then take care of his hand.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:12 pm
Those few hesitant feet towards Dorian were some of the hardest he'd ever made. Aiden didn't make the first move, he didn't go towards people, he let them come towards him. He knew then that they really wanted him because it was their choice. He held that much worth in being good for one thing and their knowing it. He wasn't sure he had it in him to actually finish the distance, to make that much of his desires known, and thankfully he didn't have to. Halfway across he was suddenly enveloped in warmth and pulled the rest of the way.
The jerking motion held nothing on the pain from the confusion pressing on his chest and barely registered as he was settled once more into the warmth of Dorian's lap, hands brushing and touching but not bringing any pain. Given that was what he usually got for making any move he half expected it. Yet all he got was a gentle nuzzling and touches soft enough to sooth the frayed edges of his soul even if he wasn't aware of it. He was still expecting the pain to come, but he'd made his choice and would have to take whatever it brought. For a moment in the sun it would be worth it.
"You should be."the dark haired boy breathed into the brunette's neck, knowing he'd realize it eventually. How long before the mistake was noticed? Before he lost all this? At the realization he relaxed completely, because if there was one thing he had learned it was that it was better to enjoy something for the few brief seconds you got to keep it than to have never touched it. True he didn't deserve to even slightly be there, but now he was...he wanted to enjoy it before it was destroyed.
His hands fisted into the material at Dorian's hip, absorbing the warmth coming from the other male through the thin material of the shirt. Turning his head and pressing a butterfly soft kiss on the brunette's chin, near his ear. With a slight shift of his weight he brushed a series of kisses along the pathway till he was able to shift enough to be straddling him once more. Pain waring with a million other emotions in his midnight blue eyes as he feathered a kiss against Dorian's lips, light, teasing, drawing.
"You really should."he whispered before dropping another kiss, because THIS was what he was good at and he could at least give the brunette that much. Even if he wasn't worth anything else to him he knew he was good enough for this. And he wanted Dorian happy. Like he wanted his mother happy. Two people he'd give anything to in order to make them better...so he offered it in each feathered kiss to the singer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 2:42 pm
xxxxxxxxxxxxxIn the BRIGHTEST HOURxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxof my DARKEST DAYxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx I realizedxxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssWHAT IS WRONG WITH MExxx]▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃
Dorian only murmured an amused noncommittal response, still smiling as he felt the words as much as heard them. He didn’t believe it for a minute but was willing to try giving Aiden a little time to realize it. A few notes drifted through his head, something he would later have to add to the scribbles he’d started the previous night before falling asleep. He hummed a couple of notes, cementing it in his memory as he felt Aiden move against him.
The small kisses were electric and while Dorian had just moments before resolved to focus on the boy’s hand the moment he seemed calm enough, that idea was rapidly falling off to the side in favor of enjoying what was happening now. He placed his hands lightly on Aiden’s hips, the movement to straddle his lap drawing blue eyes down to hazily rake over the newly exposed skin of his thigh. Oh this was definitely not helping him think. Going from Aiden running out the door to having him half naked and straddling his lap was a truly lethal dose of whiplash.
He felt the faintest brush of Aiden’s lips over his own, then the breath from the spoken words. His hands tightened on Aiden’s waist and would have drawn him closer if there had been space left between them. “No,” he said. The tone wasn’t sharp, but it was firmer that it had been a moment before. It wasn’t clear whether Dorian was speaking directly to the idea that he should be sorry for what was happening or if he’d just decided he’d had enough of the torturously light touches. He took easy control of the kiss, moving it deeper as though determined to erase any lingering trace of anyone who had been near Aiden’s mouth and lips in the past.
His hand touched the dark hair, tangling in it to guide Aiden where he wanted him, a faint deep note of approval rumbling in his throat behind the kiss. The fingers slackened and trailed down Dien’s jawline, tracing the smooth skin of his neck and down his arm. When he finally reached the hand, his fingers settled on the rough patch of dried blood and the contrast was enough to make the rest of his happily occupied brain sit up and take notice. He broke the kiss with some reluctance, looking down at the injured hand.
He drew himself off the bed, setting Aiden very gently on his feet. At no time did he let go of the injured hand, the other on Aiden’s shoulder, guiding him to the bathroom to find a towel he could use to clean the blood and satisfy himself that the injury was not too deep.
▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃ ▄ ▆ ▄ ▃▃▃ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxCan't get over youxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxCan't get through to youxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx It's been a xxxxxxxxxxxxx[sssHELTER SKELTER ROMANCExxx]xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxXXxxxxXx FROM THE START --------►
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
