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 Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:20 pm
Orchid Moon Im just wondering but... has anyone actually sent in the 1k gold in for their bloodline/clan?
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Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 9:47 pm
Could I retry? With the same bloodline?
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Posted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 10:12 pm
Solitude over courage Could I retry? With the same bloodline?
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Posted: Tue Jun 08, 2010 1:53 am
Rpc Name: Orikage Deevo
Village: Mist
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hyoton Kekkei Genkei
What you know about the clan/bl: Ice Release is created when the user combines wind and water to create ice. Unlike Yurikage shinobi who use preexisting ice to use Hyoton, ninjas like Haku combined water and wind to create ice.
Rp Sample: Orikage looked upon the rogue shinobi. "Jiisama." he addressed. Pulling out his sword he continued, "It is time to bring you to rest." Jumping towards him, he swung his sword at him. Jiisama looked up drew out a small kunoi. "My my Orikage, You have grown stronger. Show me your best skill. Hit me with your best shot!" Orikage smirked and kicked him in the chest. Hyoton is an impressive technique, but you yet lack the experience to improve it.... said his sensei when he learned the bloodline. I may have less experiece to improve it, but I have the guts to use it in battle! he replied to his sensei. He joined his hands to perform a jutsu. "You will be the witness of the Hyoton! Jiisama!" Orikage shouted. He kept his middle finger on top of his index finger as the index finger went under the middle. "Hyoton." The air swiftly twisted like a cyclone as water was added to it. Orikage jumped in the air and made the mixture finally turn into ice as it sped towards Jiisama. Jiisama himself looked suprised as the ice came to him. He jumped to the side as he thought, So this is the legendary Hyoton? Impressive. But this is not the full form. It must be around 30% complete! He put his finger on his lip and said, "Beat this! Katon, Gouugakkyuu no jutsu!" A ball of fire sped towards the ice. Inturn, Orikage smiled as he did nothing. The fire just melted a tiny part of the ice. I've gotta keep calm. If i over do it I might drain all of the chakra. He sheathed his sword and landed to the ground. Again attaching his hands together for the Hyoton he made the ice from the air and water again and allowed the ice to hit from the rear. Jiisama suprised used his kunoi to defend himself. After the attack, he had pieces of ice on his leg and hand. Jiisama was shivering. Orikage smiled and noticed the wave of ice he had just shot was attached to the one before. An idea popped in his mind. He jumped to the left side and used the Hyoton wave over there. Orikage panted heavily. Too....less..chakra..... Jiisama suprised stopped that with much effort using that ninjutsu again. Orikage's trying to seal me in here?! NO! Jiisama looked up as he saw Orikage on a tree. He threw all the shurikens and kunois and suddenly realised it was a bad plan. "Hyoton....." whispered Orikage as the kunois neared him. They all froze as the Hyoton wave had passed through them. "Nooooooooooooooooooo!" shouted Jiisama as he froze in the Castle of Ice. Orikage landed on his knees as blood dropped from his nose and mouth. "Know peace, Jiisama" he said as he wiped the blood with his black sleeves.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:06 am
((I'm submitting this now, just so I know I can get the spot before I dive too much into my profile.))
Rpc Name: Akahana Hyuga
Village: Iwagakure
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Byakugan
What you know about the clan/bl: I know that it has the ability of 360 degree vision, save for one small blind spot on the back of the neck. The Hyuga clan specializes in Taijutsu, and a special fighting style known as the "Gentle Fist" which uses a series of strikes with the palms, which exert small blasts of chakra, which are used to disrupt the flow of the enemies chakra, as well as damage their internal organs. The Hyuga clan excels in chakra manipulation, and are capable of exerting chakra from various points on their bodies other than their palms.
Rp Sample:
The smell of blood clung tightly in the air around the two figures in the forest. A young girl, Akahana Hyuga, was clinging on tightly to her arm, blood leaking out of her newly received wound, dripping onto the floor with a soft pit pat. The rouge Ninja merely sat there, twirling his kunai around in his fingers. The man let a chuckle escape between his teeth. "Sending children now a days to carry out missions eh? And not only that but it's a girl? Iwagakure is seriously lacking in military aren't they?" The man asked, mocking Akahana. Akahana gritted her teeth together, then suddenly a smile escaped her lips. She threw her hands together, creating the horse seal, quickly channeling her Chakra into her White-Eyes. "Byakugan!" She chanted, a small explosion of Chakra erupting from her eyes. Suddenly Akahana could see everything around her. The trees that were behind her, the animals that were scurrying away into the bushes. She eased her stance, moving her leg forward into a back stance, the majority of her body wait on her back leg, while her front foot was standing on the tips of their toes. Her hands were straight, looking similar to knives with how sharp they were.
Without wasting a single moment, Akahana suddenly dashed for the man. Men like him seriously pissed her off, actually men in general bugged her. Her right hand moved back slightly as she dashed towards the man. "Hiyaa!" Akahana yelled, thrusting her arm towards the man's sternum. The man simply dodged the attack to the outside of Akahana's body. He began to drive the kunai down towards her body. Thanks to Akahana's Byakugan, she was able to see the man and the kunai, giving her the chance to react. Spinning on her heel, Akahana's left elbow came up, smashing the man on the left side of his temple. The man's body spun around from the force of the impact, and caused him to go into a slight daze. Continuing her spinning motion, Akahana was now facing the man face to face, both of her palm open as she slammed them both onto the mans chest. Chakra exploded from her hand's in a short burst, knocking the man down onto the ground. The man lay motionless, for was merely knocked out. Akahana's hands were still held up after the motion. She walked up towards the man, and sat down on his stomach. Putting her hand up to her ear, she began to radio in to her Sensei. "Done." Was the only thing that escaped from the girls mouth.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:26 pm
Solitude: I'm still seing you simply use 'jutsu' without naming them. Jutsu are meant to be directed attacks with a certain form and function... and should have a jutsu name... just like something such as the Crystal release does.
Also, I have no idea what "having the ice attack him from behind' means... it's really ambiguous, and again is just some made up technique... it should be defined and DESCRIBED better. And what's a "Hyouton Wave?" which freezes Kunai and people?... again, if it's a technique, it needs a name and it needs to be spoken by the user.
Try to fix the above points, and please, have mercy on me and use paragraphs. Trying to read a block of text is annoying and confusing. A bit more description and clarity in what you are trying to get across wouldn't hurt in most places either. so with all that in mind...
Denied...
But I'm confident that you can turn it around easily enough. Just try to incorporate the concepts I laid out here in your RP sample.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 2:32 pm
Violent Fox: Nothing in your RP Sample really seems to display the Byakugan's power except for the fact that you could see the attack from behind and slightly to the side of you (which was a very good use). However, on both of the strikes mentioned, I would have expected some reference to WHY the Jyuuken is so vicious to be hit with, in explaining what it does to the chakra circulation/tenketsu of the one hit.
Also, it would generally be a good idea to also incorporate some Byakugan techniques. I know the character is still young, but just for the purposes of the RP Sample, I'd like to see you using some of the bloodline's techniques before I approve of the use of the bloodline as a whole.
Denied...
But I'm confident that you can turn it around easily enough. Just try to incorporate the concepts I laid out here in your RP sample.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 6:04 pm
Rpc Name: Sin Acult
Village: Mist
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Suigestu's Kekki Genkai
What you know about the clan/bl: The user is able to turn his/her self into water to avoid physical damage or get into places others cannot. The user can also expand his/her muscles to handle heavy things. User must also be constantly drinking water.
Rp Sample:
Working on this!
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 6:07 pm
Rpc Name: Ingou Hoshigaki (( Ex-emperor Hoshigaki ))
Village: N/a
Rank: N/a
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hoshigaki
What you know about the clan/bl: Kisame is the only known user of this clan. Nothing really is known about this clan besides birth mutations, and they are seemingly skilled at water jutsu. although normally seen as freaks, these ninja can be very useful in villages where fishing is a key resource, because of their ability to breath underwater. anyone with this clan is pale blue in color, and has one row of razor sharp teeth unless born with more rows, which is very uncomfortable.
Rp Sample:
Ingou stood at the Fork in the road, leaning against the sign that pointed in two directions. One pointing to Sunagakure, a place where Ingou could not survive, and another to Konohagakure which a bi past that was Kirigakure, the village where his clan supposedly came from. " man... The merchant's really don't frequent this road anymore do they?" Ingou said, looking around seeing a merchant's caravan coming. " Perfect..." He said smiling moving his sword a bit on his back. " Time for some talk..." He said smiling under his cloak and scarf. " Hello kind sir, Might I bother you for some of your time?" Ingou said smiling, baring his shark teeth underneath his scarf, out of the old man's view.
" Hello there young man, Kinda warm to be wearing a scarf and cloak isn't it?" The old man said, a weasing noise coming with it. " What brings you to these parts?" The old man said looking around. " There's a whole lotta noth'n round these parts." He said looking back at the boy. " So what did ja need boy?" The old man said looking off the road to the young man that seemed to be keeping up rather well with him.
" Oh nothing really... Just looking for some lunch..." He muttered on purpose, his smile getting bigger, and his eyes widening, still his entire face out of view. " Hey... old man, you wouldn't mind me showing you something would you?" Ingou said noticing a pond next to the road, close enough to have a wonderous effect on what he was about to do.
" What was that sonny?" The old man said hearing his second request. " Oh is that so? Well ok, the horses need to rest anyways... Hey look there's a pond they can drink out of, this will be perfect, We're going to Sunagakure, and or horses are always thirsty when we get there!" The old man said laughing, stopping the caravan and letting the horses off the carrages to drink. " Hey everyone gather round, this young lad wants to show us somfin!" The old man said looking at the boy as a bunch of other people gathered around.
" Look at what I can do..." He said, pulling his hands down his sleeves exposing his blue hands, doing the handsigns very slowly and deliberatly, naming each one. When he finished, he threw his head back, knocking off his hood, and loosening his scarf, exposing his face. " HIDDEN MIST JUTSU! " He yelled, laughing as suddenly everyone else couldn't see, and they all started to scream from the shock of What they had just saw.
" Oh my sweet lord!" The old man said turning to run. " Everyone Get ou-!" He said, cut short by the sword that jutted from his mouth.
" Up through the spine, and a little to the left.. Perfect for Flaying my next meals!" He said pushing thw sword down, and laughing as he made a perfect flay from the old man. " Now the fun begins!" He said, running into the mist, hacking away at the people he found.
{[( Five hours later )]}
" Please let me go..." A young girl said, laying on the ground, tied from head to toe in the now Dead horses Reins, one of the bits in her mouth, making everything she said slurred. " Please... I won't tell anyone about you! Please just let me go!" She said starting to cry.
" I'll let you go, just as soon as you say what you really think of me..." Ingou said, finishing off the last of her Caravan. " I'll be more than happy to let you go if you do that one thing." Ingou said smiling. ' Go to the underworld that is.' He thought to himself laughing at the thought of hearing her scream.
" You- you- You're beautiful, i wish I was like you, then everyone would be evious!" She said trying to please Ingou. " Please! I have a sick mother at home, and She is dieing!" The girl plead, her words becoming even more slurred from her sobbing.
" You know... I love liars..." Ingou said grabbing hold of her chin and looking at her. " Too bad they taste even better." He said biting into her cheek, ripping off the skin and slurping on it as it was torn to shreds, almost like if it were noodles. " Ahhh Perfect!" He said, laughing as he saw the inside of her mouth, and heard her scream of pain. " You are so annoying!" he said picking her up by the hair and plunging his teeth into her chest, emerging with a throbbing organ in his teeth, blood squirting everywhere. " het's hee hu hurhive his!" He said talking with his mouth full of hr heart, he bit down, blood splattering everything around him. " Ahh much better." He said laughing, as she fell to the ground dead. " i'm glad i can use water jutsu..." He said, making a water clone who ran into his cloak and washed it of blood. " perfection..." He said, taking some things, along with a bleeding parcel that contained the young girl's arms and legs, flayed for later use. " Glad you could be of service old man." Ingou said patting his stomach. " Wait what am I doing you're right there!" He said turning to look at the old man's severed head, sitting with some of the reigns in his mouth connected to one dead horse he had not eaten completely. " Well... I'm off." He said smiling, his coin purse bulging with the amount of Ryu that he merchant's had been carrying.
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 7:01 pm
Cobra_X Violent Fox: Nothing in your RP Sample really seems to display the Byakugan's power except for the fact that you could see the attack from behind and slightly to the side of you (which was a very good use). However, on both of the strikes mentioned, I would have expected some reference to WHY the Jyuuken is so vicious to be hit with, in explaining what it does to the chakra circulation/tenketsu of the one hit.
Also, it would generally be a good idea to also incorporate some Byakugan techniques. I know the character is still young, but just for the purposes of the RP Sample, I'd like to see you using some of the bloodline's techniques before I approve of the use of the bloodline as a whole.
Denied...
But I'm confident that you can turn it around easily enough. Just try to incorporate the concepts I laid out here in your RP sample.
Lol, I kinda figured that's how it would go down
-Kicks himself in da Ars-
Fair enough, I shall get working on a revised version of my above post.
Thank you for the Tips ^_^
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 10:35 pm
This is confusing.
About the jutsu....My own jutsu name or the official?
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 11:09 pm
Solitude over courage This is confusing. About the jutsu....My own jutsu name or the official?
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Posted: Wed Jun 09, 2010 11:20 pm
((Edited))
Rpc Name: Akahana Hyuga
Village: Iwagakure
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Byakugan
What you know about the clan/bl: I know that it has the ability of 360 degree vision, save for one small blind spot on the back of the neck. The Hyuga clan specializes in Taijutsu, and a special fighting style known as the "Gentle Fist" which uses a series of strikes with the palms, which exert small blasts of chakra, which are used to disrupt the flow of the enemies chakra, as well as damage their internal organs. The Hyuga clan excels in chakra manipulation, and are capable of exerting chakra from various points on their bodies other than their palms.
Rp Sample:
The smell of blood clung tightly in the air around the two figures in the forest. A young girl, Akahana Hyuga, was clinging on tightly to her arm, blood leaking out of her newly received wound, dripping onto the floor with a soft pit pat. The rouge Ninja merely sat there, twirling his kunai around in his fingers. The man let a chuckle escape between his teeth. "Sending children now a days to carry out missions eh? And not only that but it's a girl? Iwagakure is seriously lacking in military aren't they?" The man asked, mocking Akahana. Akahana gritted her teeth together, then suddenly a smile escaped her lips. She threw her hands together, creating the horse seal, quickly channeling her Chakra into her White-Eyes. "Byakugan!" She chanted, a small explosion of Chakra erupting from her eyes. Suddenly Akahana could see everything around her. The trees that were behind her, the animals that were scurrying away into the bushes. She eased her stance, moving her leg forward into a back stance, the majority of her body wait on her back leg, while her front foot was standing on the tips of their toes. Her hands were straight, looking similar to knives with how sharp they were.
Without wasting a single moment, Akahana suddenly dashed for the man. Men like him seriously pissed her off, actually men in general bugged her. Her right hand moved back slightly as she dashed towards the man. "Hiyaa!" Akahana yelled, thrusting her arm towards the man's sternum. The man simply dodged the attack to the outside of Akahana's body. He began to drive the kunai down towards her body. Thanks to Akahana's Byakugan, she was able to see the man and the kunai, giving her the chance to react. Spinning on her heel, Akahana's left palm came up, smashing the man on the left side of his temple, releasing a short burst of chakra. The burst of chakra that was applied into the man brain on the left side, would ultimately make his right side go numb. This was because the Hyuga specialized in a Taijutsu known as Juken. Juken is a seemingly gentle style, hence it's nick name the Gentle Fist. However the bursts of chakra that come with it prove to be damaging to the body, seeing as the Hyuga target pressure points, as well as Chakra points on their opponents body, trying to make their opponents as useless as they can be.
The man's body spun around from the force of the impact, and caused him to go into a slight daze, his right leg collapsed out from under him, forcing him to a knee. Continuing her spinning motion, Akahana was now facing the man face to face, her blade like hands, now mostly clenched, save for two fingers on each hand. Akahana was going to go all out on the man for underestimating her. Her hands darted at blinding speeds. Her hand would first strike under the right side of the mans jaw, causing his jaw to swell, making yelling a hard task, her next blow would be to the mans rip cage, causing his body to violently shift away from the strike causing his body to turn away from Akahana. The man's back was wide open. In quick succession, Akahana laid down multiple strikes up and down the mans spinal chord, the different points she struck, would cease the mans movements for the rest of his life. The incapacitated man merely sat there, knowing there was nothing he could do.
Akahana lifted her leg up, both of her hands wide open with her blade like palms. "Eight Trigrams: Empty Palm!" She bellowed. Her leg would rush forward, both of her palms slamming into the mans back, directly over where the mans central chakra flow was. Chakra exploded from her hand's in a short burst, knocking the man down face first into the ground. The man lay motionless, for was merely knocked out. Akahana's hands were still held up after the motion. She walked up towards the man, and sat down on his back. Putting her hand up to her ear, she began to radio in to her Sensei. "Done." Was the only thing that escaped from the girls mouth.
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:31 am
crying
Only if I knew the Official Jutsu name....
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Posted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 8:49 am
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Reply
