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 Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 9:36 pm
"No, not surprised. Just..." he stopped, then shook his head. "Sure they change us, but I just didn't know they did tests like that and hoped they didn't. Far as I can remember they haven't done any tests on me."
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Posted: Thu May 10, 2007 10:49 pm
"If you haven' noticssed anything so far, then why get upset over it? No point in getting angry an' fighting," he mumbled, cupping the wet hand over his eyepatch as though he still had an eye there to protect. Half of what he said didn't make a whole lot of sense, sounding more like drunken rambling than any coherent conversation. "Think you're right, but you're not. You... you know what happens when you do sssomething wrong. They can hurt you. Hurt a lot of people. I've been stupid'n argued with Sssabin before... but I was wrong. so stupid of me. An' could've ended up a lot worse."
"Gaiusss hasn't figured it out. To stop fighting... thought he would've by now but nothing getsss through to him." Though his words were somewhat vague, he was referring to the time back in December when they had both been forced to build a ladder and later got chewed out for fighting. Evidently it had polarized each of them in opposite directions. Zach, fearful of the possibility of having his life complicated further than it already was, gave in quickly, while Gaius continued to be a headstrong annoyance to the labs and to Zach.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 10:36 pm
As he spoke, some of his words started to slur more noticeably. Though, perhaps not for the already drunk dragon. "Why? Because I'd just assoon not have them perform experiments on me. 'specially ones that would affect my mind. Like animal instincts." He studied Zach for a moment. "I've already got some idea of what just their mind games can do and when we lose our minds." He shook his head as he looked away. "Ended up a lot worse, how? When have you even been actually punished? Not threatened, punished?"
After taking another drink, he hunched over and ran fingers through his hair. "Gaius was wronged. We've all been wronged. He hadda life that he wanted. And that was taken from him. Like the rest of us. You don't like that your eye's gone? Gaius doesn't like that his humanity s'gone. Nothing gets through anything." Lucas growled, not really sure what he was saying anymore. He was just saying it. It sounded pretty good to him at the time, though. The alcohol he'd already consumed was catching up to him. "Damn it all." He lapped at his drink again.
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2007 11:24 pm
Zach continued to cradle his eyeless socket and give the water that lapped to shore an icy glare while the dhole's words swept past him like nothing more than leaves rustling in the breeze. Only parts of it clung to his mind long enough to consider them. Lucas had certainly lost his mind. The evidence was quite tangible, even while drunk. Zach felt confident his mind was there, and whole, perhaps even more whole than it had been in the beginning. After all, he was several limbs more than human at this point, so surely his mind was the same way? He, at least, didn't go chasing after people with claws at the ready if they despised the labs. That was their mistake, and unlike them he had self-control. Maybe... maybe that was why he didn't get worse for slipping up and biting Gaius? It was one little mistake... just like... just like when he'd hurt Aubrey...
"Wronged? No... no... we've been right'd. Humansss... we're nothin' but monsssters t'them now. You feel like a monster? I don'. M'better than human. You," he finally peeled away the hand at his face to gesture loosely at Lucas before dropping it to the sand. It seemed like he had forgotten the question Lucas had asked him before. "Y'need t'forget. S'gonna do nothing but haunt you. Keep focusin' on then, y'forget about now. Now's a lo' more 'mportant. Good advice. You need it."
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Posted: Thu May 17, 2007 6:34 pm
Something clicked and Lucas just started talking. "You may think that, but I don't. They coulda picked people who wanted this to happen to them or you know want..." he trailed off, looking as if he forgot what he was saying, and then picked up again a moment later. "People who wanted this to happen. I didn't. I want to be human. And don't give me crap that I should be loving this. That I should be grateful. I might accept I'm here and this is happenin', but I don't like it and never will. I know what I want and this isn't what I want. I wanted to do stuff, travel, get married, have a family. How the hell am I suppose to do that as a freakin' dog stuck on a tiny island forever? I bet Giaus wanted to do things, too. You mighta given up on your dreams or decided things weren't worth it, but I'm not like you. I don't like it here. I don't want my mind messed with. I don't like what I'm feeling nowadays anyway. ...not a dog... I didn't mean to hit you. I've never been violent before. This sucks. I want my eye back. Damn it. I don't know why I did it. Cornered... You had to keep pushing and making me feel like crap. Bullies're... You need advice. Stop pushing people around. S'maybe that's why everyone doesn't like you. You gotta try to make everyone think like you? The labs make you think what they want you to think. Make you scared you're gonna never get your eye or gonna kill you for biting up the doctor. You don't really love the labs, you're just scared of what they can do. It's all control. Manip-manilation-manipulation. They want to have everything as they want it, 'zactly as they want it. They want us to be nothin' but pets. We do good we get a pat on the head and a treat." He continued to ramble on under his breath everything that was on his mind. One thing seemed to lead into another and he couldn't get his mouth to stop moving.
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 8:42 pm
"Nngh... you dunno anything. Just as happy 'f every'un would leave me alone... lassst thing I need's another week in th' hospital 'cause some nutcase can't keep their claws t'themselves." He cradled his head in his hands as though he had a headache. His tail curled at his side. Lucas's words were unsettling, and he pushed away the radical ideas. He couldn't live like that. Hadn't Sabin proven before that Lucas's words were absolutely false? There was nothing sinister about saving someone's life. No hidden agenda to that, and research was why they were both no longer human. It was helpful research; Zach had gained back a lost arm from it. The doctors only seemed to go after dangerous islanders, as well.
And had he just been called a pet again?
"Y'wanna know what? Lessay you're right. Lessay this is all some ********' game. The hell d'you plan t'do about it? Gonna mope 'n groan to everyone y'meet? Only hurtin' yourself. At least I won' have to suffer because'a you. Gonna get my eye back. Jus' wait. Bet y'r not even sorry... see where't gets you? We disssagreed b'fore then, but I didn' ******** claw you in th' face over it. How 'bout thisss, do me a liddle favor. Talk t'Gaiusss. Try'n asssk'm if anyone'll miss 'im. I think... 'e'll know what you're talkin' 'bout. Needs a reminder."
With that, he got to his feet. It was wobbly, and his wings fanned out somewhat to help him balance while he dragged himself between two and four legs toward the path that led away from the beach and toward the village. Already the alcohol was sloshing very unpleasantly inside him. So much for drinking away his troubles, and so much for having a birthday free of conspiracy theory.
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Posted: Fri May 18, 2007 9:10 pm
"You learn to leave other people alone." Lucas grumbled. "It was an accident! God! Maybe I'd be sorry for what I did if you didn't piss me off. And you go show my eye to people. And go after people who're my friends. No, you gotta be a d**k! Why should I feel bad when you don't feel bad for what you did to me?!"
At Zach's question he paused. "I'm..." he didn't know what he'd do. "Something." It was a poor answer, but he felt he couldn't just say nothing. "You're suffering anyway! The labs don't make you happy. You're not happy at all! You try to make people as miserable as you! You gotta push and bother people. Make them be the way they want 'em to be. If you really wanted to be alone, you'd stop caring what other people thought about Duvert and the rest. You stop bullying people like me, and Gaius and others. You should leave us all alone!"
He swayed to his feet and watched Zach walk off. Ears flattening, Lucas growled. "I hope you don't get your eye back!" Angry, Lucas threw the nearly empty glass of alcohol out into the water. Then he blinked. Why the hell had he done that? For a moment he considered going out and looking for it, then decided that was also a stupid idea. It was the labs glass. If they wanted, they can go get it.
Grumbling, feeling worse off than before Zach arrived, Lucas walked back to the bar. He considered drinking some more, but instead just sat down and sprawled himself out over the bartop. He remained like that for a while, partly to help keep his head from spinning too much, and to give Zach time to put distance between them. He didn't want to run into that jerk for a very long time.
When he finally felt up to it, he stumbled back to his duplex.
END
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